Chapter 458 (Immigration crackdown in the DR)
Immigration came into Friend's restaurant here in Cabarete yesterday morning. They walked straight up to Captain Billy’s (Retired NYC captain) table and asked him this in Spanish:
"How long you been in the DR?"
"26-days" Billy answered in his limited Spanish.
"Do you have a return ticket?"
"Yes, i have one," he answered.
"Can we see it?"
"It's an electronic ticket. It's not a paper ticket."
At this point, the Immigration officers, confused by an “electronic ticket” went and got another immigration officer who spoke English. Meanwhile, four Immigration officers stood around Captain Billy’s table.
So, here’s Captain Billy waiting around for an immigration officer who both speaks English and understands what an “Electronic” ticket is while a restaurant full of expats and Tourists are staring over at Captain Billy (wondering what kind of fugitive he is) as the Immigration officers—who all have their badges out and hanging down around their necks—and with the words “Immigration” clearly spelled out on the back of their jackets, surrounding Captain Billy’s table…who, by the way, they do not know that he is a retired NYC Captain.
Meanwhile, while everyone is sitting around waiting for more Immigration officers, and staring at Captain Billy with great anticipation, Billy starts contemplating the absurd situation.
Let’s back up and recap…
You got to love the Dominican efficiency: coming up to a table, not speaking any English, speaking to a foreigner in Spanish, not understanding what an “electronic” ticket is, and expecting someone to be carrying around their return ticket in their back pocket, etc. The absurdity is through the ****ing roof! It's a three Stooges episode. It’s a comedy farce at its highest absurd level.
Suddenly, Captain Billy remembers that he has his Ipad with him. While the Immigration officers went to get someone who speaks English, Billy remembers that he has his electronic ticket Info in his email. He immediately went to his email (imagine if the Wifi had gone down at this point from one of the many, many daily Power Outages?) Captain Billy was lucky there was electricity. He immediately pulled up his electronic ticket Info and showed the Immigration officers surrounding him (about 5 men) the date he arrived, and the date he was leaving the DR. They thanked him and left Friends restaurant—walking past a restaurant full of expats and other Immigrants who were sitting around drinking coffee and horrified by what they thought was a criminal fugitive on the loose.
Which begs the question...why only approach one single person inside a packed restaurant full of expats, when meanwhile, ignoring dozens of others expats and tourists sitting at nearby tables?
It's almost comical in its absurdity.
Frank