Culture Shock???

[SKing]

By the looks of it, you had culture shock. Depressed people usually fall into denial, so if you knew you were 'depressed' at the moment of the suppose depression, chances are you were not.

Also, don't put too much faith in the generalization that are made with medical/psych/etc descriptions, such as the after 6 months culture shock sets in. Everyone is different. Most people will go through culture shock in the expected time period, but some people do not while others do so at other times, or do so in the expected time but have a worst case or a relatively light case.

I'm no doctor, but its just my general understanding and approach to medical/psych descriptions. Everyone is different, hence not everything that will happen to you will go by the book.

Now, I know you're 'La Rabiosa' but believe me, I say this in peace. LOL.

Well, I can say for sure that that culture shock is a b*tch. I remember it clearly and it was awful, things that never bothered me started to reeeeally pi$$ me off. Food, the heat, the people, my ex, the mannerisms....geez.
So what do you do? How long does it usually last for the people that don't bail? Does it happen again if you go back to the same place?

SHALENA
P.S. I find La Rabiosa to be a name of endearment now, like calling the fat girl La Gorda. It had grown on me I just pick my battles carefully now. I had an issue with someone at work recently and let it go but the anesthesiologist turned around and told him, "Don't underestimate her. She's professional, but she has 'ghetto tendencies' ", I was laughing so hard I almost peed my scrub pants!

 

[NALs]

Well, I can say for sure that that culture shock is a b*tch. I remember it clearly and it was awful, things that never bothered me started to reeeeally pi$$ me off. Food, the heat, the people, my ex, the mannerisms....geez.
So what do you do? How long does it usually last for the people that don't bail? Does it happen again if you go back to the same place?

SHALENA
P.S. I find La Rabiosa to be a name of endearment now, like calling the fat girl La Gorda. It had grown on me I just pick my battles carefully now. I had an issue with someone at work recently and let it go but the anesthesiologist turned around and told him, "Don't underestimate her. She's professional, but she has 'ghetto tendencies' ", I was laughing so hard I almost peed my scrub pants!

You already know the answers to your questions, because you've been through trying moments before. For example, were the pregnancies a piece of cake? I doubt it, and yet you got through them. Nothing lasts forever, and bad moments tend to be rather short. They may feel longer simply because they are unpleasant, but in reality bad moments are short. Most of the time we're either at peace or happy.

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, 'til it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." - Harriet Beecher Stowe

It always does. Think about it. Hillbilly, Chirimoya, Robert, everybody has been there and done that. It's only a fase, a short fase that simply tests your will power to persevere.

How to beat it? Never give up, but you know that already, right?

 

[ElvisNYC]

Yeah, but it seems so drastic (culture shock, I mean). Are you in Ecuador for long?
Also, I was commuting to NYC twice per month so I was wondering why I would get the "shock", but then again, I hate NYC. LOL

SHALENA.

P.S.
Don't worry about the chisme, believe it or not I've learned a lot from my days of cursing out AZB. A lot of people press at me to bring La Rabiosa out but I just close my eyes and imagine what they probably look like in real life and I usually am laughing so hard, I can't get mad!

Yes, I'm here for the long run ! Ecuador is like DR. simple yet complicated. Initially there are things here that would bother anyone coming from first world countries People cannot drive carefully here, you can get frisked by the police at their discretion, no customer service skills, going to a business and people telling you they don't have enough change (so it's your problem now ), how people stare at you a lot, everything is almost a tramite here.. It's like DR, except they don't have Presidentes, nice beaches and musica tipica.. Damn, do I miss that !!

But I love how people don't stress out about the BS (even when you don't have money or are broke) and I can drop by to friends and family house without calling. Family is more important !

Bueno, La Rabiosa, q tengas unas buenas noches !

 

[Alyonka]

Everyone who immigrates to a new country goes through several stages which include all of the feelings you mentioned (anxiety, anger, depression). I experienced the same when I came to the US. I don't think it is particular to moving to the DR or any other places. It is something has to do with the change of the environment and adjustment. Good luck to you in the future!

 

[dalila05]

i never experienced culture shock in DR, i think. i disliked it from the start, before i even moved here. then i disliked it even more, to the point of hate. now i feel kinda indifferent with decent amount of acceptation. in other words, on my best days i do not care much, i do not pay attention and i do not think at all that i live in DR. i am never "happy" that i live here but sometimes i feel smug
it helps a lot to learn the language, and it helps even more to be out with people: i became a lot calmer since i work in the pharmacy. i get seriously upset at people sometimes but generally i enjoy chatting with my workers and clients, learning more about DR.
following chiri's love example my relationship with DR is that of an arranged marriage. i may grow to like it

dv8,i used to dislike you but now im becoming a fan,your post are so honest and funny,lol.
also i dont blame you,i cannot last longer than 3 weeks in dr.even my husband think i could murder someone by living there.
shaleena,i genuinely believe that pregnancy is wonderfull bliss but also could mean a mental disease,so many breakdown around me,myself included.it take time to recover. and dont forget whoever leave his homeland will be a stranger forever even when you go back home.

 

[mountainannie]

dont forget whoever leave his homeland will be a stranger forever even when you go back home.

This part is VERY true.. For my first three years here, I went back to the States for three months at a time.. just testing, I guess, although I was very committed to staying here. I had given everything away .. not put stuff in storage as some folks suggested.. I had enough experience to know that it was going to be a hard, long haul adapting and I did not want to make it easy for me to bail out. But what I found upon returning was that my friends were doing exactly the same things as before I left, having the same conversations .. whereas I had met so many new people and had had so many new experiences that I simply could not fit back in the smaller life that I had left.

I joke with folks now .. about how long it takes to get here. I say that it takes about 5 hours for the flight and five years to unpack.

 

[SKing]

Yes, I feel a little out of place now also. Not much but enough for me to notice. Enough for me to know that I am not meant to be here. But one never knows what the future will bring. I guess you just fight through the difficult times and keep on truckin'

SHALENA

 

[Chirimoya]

Yes, never underestimate reverse culture shock.

and dont forget whoever leave his homeland will be a stranger forever even when you go back home.

What about people with more complicated origins/backgrounds who don't have one single definite homeland?

 

[LaTeacher]

Culture shock supposedly adapts itself to how long you plan on staying. So, for example, if you're going on vacation for a week, you'ld go through all of the stages in a week. (and by vacation, i don't mean visiting an all inclusive, i mean getting down and dirty with the real dominican republic) if you're staying five years, it'll happen slower - a longer ecstatic-to-be-here phase, then a longer everything-ticks-me-off phase. luckily, you'll have longer to live in the this-is-my-new-normal phase.

but shalena, come on, you know that pregnancy was hell-ish from day one! on top of culture shock, it could've been more serious than it was. now you're better

 

[jrhartley]

I think some people get into trouble by over analysing everything and "getting in touch with their feelings" whatever that means. Dont you just unpack a suitcase and start living and if you done like it move - doesnt seem that complicated to me

 

[Hillbilly]

I probably should have been reading this from the start. But I think that Shalena has experienced something similar to what we all experience when going back to the First World, and yes, it is Reverse Culture Shock. This has been recognized by most sociologists and psychiatrists/pschologists. I remember when I returned from my two year stint in the Peace Corps. All of my friends, none of whom had ever been outside of the states, where totally blas? as to my experiences. THEIR lives had not been totally turned upside down....In fact when I called one friend he thought I was his broker!!

Believe me, I was so happy to get back here.

We were trained to recognize Culture Shock, but nobody told us about the Reverse part.

And let me say that our friend Shalena is one tough lady, but even tough folks get worn down..

Blessings,


HB

 

[CaptnGlenn]

It doesn't take an international move to experience these issues. About 15 years ago I moved... only about 350 miles, same state, same country, same language (kinda, lol), etc... and even to this day there are certain aspects to the local culture and customs here that still bug the hell out of me. Of course, there are many things I love about it here too, and many differences that I've grown to accept. HOME???? I'm not sure if I could call it that even after all this time. I am learning to adopt it as my new home, but I am nearly as different from the local "natives" as I might be to the natives of another country. The differences might be more subtle, but they exist, and in some respects are even more irritating because of their subtlety.

 

[Africaida]

Yes, never underestimate reverse culture shock.


What about people with more complicated origins/backgrounds who don't have one single definite homeland?

I don't know I never really experienced any culture shock moving to the US, maybe because I moved here really young (20). Growing up I always knew I will live somewhere else and I moves as soon as my parents let me, lol. I am aware that from Europe to the US is probably less challenging than the US to the DR (i.e from a developed to a developing country). I am also from a complicated background (ah, ah) and I call home many places (Mali (west Africa), Paris (France), and NYC). Yet, in all these places, I feel like a stranger, but I learned to accept it. I would even go further and say that I wouldn't feel comfortable if I didn't feel like a stranger (I know it s weird ).

I am ready to move again, lol (I almost moved to Addis Ababa in Ethiopia last year :cheeky

 

[dv8]

there is something in it. i felt more cultural shock when i moved to UK even thou culture and habits are closer between PL and UK than europe and DR. but then i also moved from relative comfort of living with the parents to less than comfy living alone on little money. sometimes painfully little. and when i got used to being "f***ing immigrant" i moved to a place where i am "stupid gringa"
my racial/national background is rather boring but like africaida i am used to being a stranger in a strange land and i do not really mind. i appreciate a challenge of changing countries and cultures.
as for reverse shock: yes when i lived in the UK and no when i live in DR. when i lived in england i took frequent trips home and got easily annoyed by poland and polaks. now i travel so seldom i am over the moon happy to be back in poland/europe. i only think: oh my god, cold! how fantastic! snow! how great! english weather! i am SO glad!

 

[dalila05]

same for me, too many cultures involved in my life but what can i do?
talking about culture shock it took 2 years for my dominican husband to get used of his new life here in england,
when he started to feel better and finally give me a break with his self-pity attitude,my mother in law
came to live us and then again same attitude,as much as i love then,i wish my condition was the same when
i moved to england 13 years ago.and at the same time how can i blame them.
dominican republic is an another planet,coming to england is more than a culture shock is a earthquake!!

 

[CoreyH]

I've been here 10 months now and haven't yet experienced this. I sure hope that I never do, it sounds awful. Is it possible to not go through 'culture shock' ? Before coming here I had lived within a 30 mile radius my entire life!

 

[granca]

A little to my surprise I find my self agreeing with JR Hartley. I really don't know what culture shock is. Before moving here permanently for three years I spent the summers in Romania and the winters here with a couple of weeks in the UK each way. Yes, lots of things were different, some I either didn't like or approve of, I spoke a little Romanian but found myself in a Hungarian speaking part of the country. The biggest part of the equation that made both here and there not only acceptable but frequently enjoyable was the the shock I got from living or visiting the UK, so much had and still was changing caused by interference from the European Union. The UK is no longer the place I had grown up in, when each time I saw through the 'plane's window the, by now, the familiar shape of the DR I felt that happy feeling of coming home, warts an all.

 

[Chip]

When you get down to it home really is where the heart is and the country or language aren't important. I grew up in Charleston SC but left as soon as I was an adult and have always felt like a stranger when I returned. Not so here in Santiago. I think wherever one goes that feels welcomed and has sufficient family, friends and acquaintances that all the peripheral issues are manageable. This didn't happen overnight of course but in a matter of a few years.

I think in Shalena's case what made it so difficult apart from moving from a consumerist oriented society to a much more social one was that the real reason she came here, her friend, let her down. Not only did she and her family have to adjust to the culture which was difficult in itself but then she was basically stranded which made the situation all but unbearable.

I honestly think maybe the majority of Westerners who come to the DR without some familial affiliation eventually will move away due to similar circumstances. Generally if you move to a new area in the States where you don't have friends and family who make you feel welcome you at least have a job where you can make acquaintances or plenty of "inanimate" diversions to keep you busy(gym, the mall, movies,restaurants).

 

[AlterEgo]

It doesn't take an international move to experience these issues. About 15 years ago I moved... only about 350 miles, same state, same country, same language (kinda, lol), etc... and even to this day there are certain aspects to the local culture and customs here that still bug the hell out of me. Of course, there are many things I love about it here too, and many differences that I've grown to accept. HOME???? I'm not sure if I could call it that even after all this time. I am learning to adopt it as my new home, but I am nearly as different from the local "natives" as I might be to the natives of another country. The differences might be more subtle, but they exist, and in some respects are even more irritating because of their subtlety.

I can identify with that CaptnGlenn. I was born and raised in NYC and Long Island. In July 1980 we moved to Southern NJ, very near to Atlantic City. It was summertime at the Jersey shore, I loved it, we were 2 blocks from the beach. Well, September came and it was like someone had rolled up the sidewalks and locked them away. No people. Businesses closed for 'the winter'. Those who lived here year round identified with Philadelphia, and were not very welcoming. They moved slower, drove differently. They used different vocabulary, had a funny accent. Was depressing to put Jersey plates on my car [NYers know what I mean!!!!] I suffered a terrible depression that winter.

We're still here 31 years later, lived here much longer than I did in NY, but NY is, and always will be "home". I literally feel different there, walk faster, love the scents and sights. My kids swear I even talk differently when I'm there, they say I speak more like a NYer when I'm there. The NY accent is still there [the first time I spoke to Matilda on the phone she said "OMG you sound like a movie!!"] - she should have heard me 30 years ago :bunny::bunny:

AE

 

[SKing]

I must disagree. My friend was not my sole reason for moving, although having her there made the decision much easier, if we are talking about the same friend because I had more than one. Also, she left, and we fell off right at the beginning of my move, the first month. I was fine thereafter for 18 months. I do not think that that had a bearing on me. I honestly believe my situation was a combination of several things...my pregnancy which caused physical illness, stress from commuting every 2 weeks despite being ill, and delayed onset culture shock. This is my own assessment, and who knows? I may be totally off point. I do not believe my friends or lack thereof had anything to do with it because I had other friends and Dr1 friends that I communicated with daily, my ex's ex-wife threatening me, I think not, because she had been doing that almost the whole time I was living there with no action to speak of, all talk, (you may relay that message bigocean if you feel the need). My job because again, I had been commuting for 18 months without incident (and loving it). So I believe only a combination can be to blame.

SHALENA