Culture Shock???

[Africaida]

Friends and family

When you get down to it home really is where the heart is and the country or language aren't important. I grew up in Charleston SC but left as soon as I was an adult and have always felt like a stranger when I returned. Not so here in Santiago. I think wherever one goes that feels welcomed and has sufficient family, friends and acquaintances that all the peripheral issues are manageable. This didn't happen overnight of course but in a matter of a few years.

I think in Shalena's case what made it so difficult apart from moving from a consumerist oriented society to a much more social one was that the real reason she came here, her friend, let her down. Not only did she and her family have to adjust to the culture which was difficult in itself but then she was basically stranded which made the situation all but unbearable.

I honestly think maybe the majority of Westerners who come to the DR without some familial affiliation eventually will move away due to similar circumstances. Generally if you move to a new area in the States where you don't have friends and family who make you feel welcome you at least have a job where you can make acquaintances or plenty of "inanimate" diversions to keep you busy(gym, the mall, movies,restaurants).

I think it really depends on someone ability to adapt. Yes, moving to a country where you have friends and family can be an advantage but it also can be the opposite. I know a lot of people who moved to countries to join their significant others and when the relationship fell apart, they moved back home (because all their acquaintances were linked to that other).

I don't know about Shalena besides her posts but working in another country (crazy hours in a city that I hate), leaving my children behind for week at times, being pregnant with my 4th child from someone whose ex is threatening me, I WOULD HAVE LOST IT TOO (don't care how tough you are), even if I were home (wherever that be).........And people lose it differently, some take it on their environment, on themselves, etc....Not convinced it is culture shock

 

[SKing]

I think it really depends on someone ability to adapt. Yes, moving to a country where you have friends and family can be an advantage but it also can be the opposite. I know a lot of people who moved to countries to join their significant others and when the relationship fell apart, they moved back home (because all their acquaintances were linked to that other).

I don't know about Shalena besides her posts but working in another country (crazy hours in a city that I hate), leaving my children behind for week at times, being pregnant with my 4th child from someone whose ex is threatening me, I WOULD HAVE LOST IT TOO (don't care how tough you are), even if I were home (wherever that be).........And people lose it differently, some take it on their environment, on themselves, etc....Not convinced it is culture shock

By George, I think you've got it.... I do now think that it was everything all together, its just that the culture shock symptoms were the symptoms I had at the time

SHALENA

 

[Hillbilly]

Shalena: Just be glad that you were not homesick like this very non-PC story I got in my Inbox the other day:

Arab Holistic Medicine

Ahkmed the Arab came to the United States from the Middle
East and was only here a few months when he became ill.
He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help
Finally, he went to an Arab doctor who said: 'Take dees
bocket, go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee pee
on de poop, and den put your head down over de bocket and
breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.'

Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in
the bucket,peed on the poop, and bent over and breathed in
the fumes for ten minutes.

Coming back to the doctor, he said, 'It worked. I feel
terrific! What was wrong with me?'

The doctor said, 'You were homesick.'


I do hope you smiled at least. You are one tough lady,,,that I know will triumph..


HB

 

[SKing]

Lol, thanks for that! And you and Melanie are my Santiago anchors, it means a lot especially when people on here who do not even know me (or the REAL story) personally attack me, I always know you guys have my back cuz you KNOW me
Not to toot my own horn, but there are very few people who could handle what I have handled in my life whether I brought it on myself or not, I could write a freakin best seller!
Thanks again to everybody, even the haters......

SHALENA

 

[Africaida]

It is a message board, the norm is that people don't know you or your story And that s the beauty of it, LOL

 

[SKing]

It is a message board, the norm is that people don't know you or your story And that s the beauty of it, LOL

That is true! Very true for some more than others LOL

SHALENA

 

[CaptnGlenn]

I can identify with that CaptnGlenn. I was born and raised in NYC and Long Island. In July 1980 we moved to Southern NJ, very near to Atlantic City. It was summertime at the Jersey shore, I loved it, we were 2 blocks from the beach. Well, September came and it was like someone had rolled up the sidewalks and locked them away. No people. Businesses closed for 'the winter'. Those who lived here year round identified with Philadelphia, and were not very welcoming. They moved slower, drove differently. They used different vocabulary, had a funny accent. Was depressing to put Jersey plates on my car [NYers know what I mean!!!!] I suffered a terrible depression that winter.

We're still here 31 years later, lived here much longer than I did in NY, but NY is, and always will be "home". I literally feel different there, walk faster, love the scents and sights. My kids swear I even talk differently when I'm there, they say I speak more like a NYer when I'm there. The NY accent is still there [the first time I spoke to Matilda on the phone she said "OMG you sound like a movie!!"] - she should have heard me 30 years ago :bunny::bunny:

AE

Being a Philly boy, I know EXACTLY what you mean Alter. We have much in common. Ironically, back in the day, my AOL screen name was "AlterEgoz"... actually that name is still listed on my account.

As bad as the move from NYC to S. Jersey might have been, believe me when I tell you going west a few hundred miles is like a different dimension. Not in the big things... much is the same with that stuff... but it's the little things that seem the most different. I STILL do a double take when someone refers to soda as "pop", and my absolute favorite.... there's this funny language thing where people will drop the verb "to be" from sentences; like instead of saying "The lawn needs to be mowed.", they will shorten it to "The lawn needs mowed." Sounds silly, but when it's said in conversation it's like you say to yourself... "What did I just hear?". LOL Let's not even begin to discuss what a hoagie should be, (ok.. I guess a "sub" for you, lol). Actually it's much more a mid west mentality here, definitely different than our east coast thinking. There are definite advantages though. People in general are much more "folksy" and friendly to strangers than us cautious big city kidz.

 

[Lando calrisian]

When I read you were moving away, I GOT depressed. It was so sudden. I didn't know how to cope, "No more SKING on DR1", Ay mi madre!!!! But now with this thread my internal healing process can begin

 

[SKing]

When I read you were moving away, I GOT depressed. It was so sudden. I didn't know how to cope, "No more SKING on DR1", Ay mi madre!!!! But now with this thread my internal healing process can begin

Yes, please heal because I will need all the help I can get next time! It WAS very sudden, I was not in a great state of mind, that is why I have been analyzing what it could have been so that I recognize should it happen to me again. My ex's sister (my son's aunt) and his whole family have spread it around the campo that I was a victim of brujeria by my ex's ex. That supposedly she went to Haiti for a more powerful Brujo than could be found in DR and asks him to separate us and voila! I was outta there. So maybe that's another possibility LOL
The campo sure believes it!
SHALENA

 

[Africaida]

Yes, please heal because I will need all the help I can get next time! It WAS very sudden, I was not in a great state of mind, that is why I have been analyzing what it could have been so that I recognize should it happen to me again. My ex's sister (my son's aunt) and his whole family have spread it around the campo that I was a victim of brujeria by my ex's ex. That supposedly she went to Haiti for a more powerful Brujo than could be found in DR and asks him to separate us and voila! I was outta there. So maybe that's another possibility LOL
The campo sure believes it!
SHALENA

LOL, heard the same story from my ninera but to explain why her husband married a 19 yr old in the DR while on vacation. Apparently, the family of that young hottie went to see a brujo in Haiti and voila he is now building her a house in the campo.

 

[Alyonka]

The only thing that can be done is to find a stonger brujo to get those hotties look so ugly that men leave them for good. I heard it can be done.

 

[SKing]

the only thing that can be done is to find a stonger brujo to get those hotties look so ugly that men leave them for good. I heard it can be done.

lol

shalena

 

[dv8]

The only thing that can be done is to find a stonger brujo to get those hotties look so ugly that men leave them for good. I heard it can be done.

no need for a brujo sometimes. usually few kids do the job and hottie becomes toothless fattie

 

[SKing]

no need for a brujo sometimes. usually few kids do the job and hottie becomes toothless fattie

Yes, but not always. I mean, have you SEEN me?!?! (wink, wink)

SHALENA

 

[dv8]

yeah, but it should happen to all, no? i mean, you had the kids, now off the market! do not make competition! give other women a chance, ok?

 

[SKing]

yeah, but it should happen to all, no? i mean, you had the kids, now off the market! do not make competition! give other women a chance, ok?

Sigh....I'll try. I'm definitely done with the kids but I gotta play while I'm still young (or APPEAR young) right? Maybe I'll get on a plane to DR, find Leeanimal's man and show him the new definition of culture shock. LOL
I'm just kidding!!

SHALENA

SHALENA

 

[dv8]

you gotta stop with that brujeria and become fat and ugly like the rest of us!

 

[SKing]

you gotta stop with that brujeria and become fat and ugly like the rest of us!

Someone asked me once after learning my age, "Wow, what do you use on your face?" and I replied..."Ummmm, soap." The secret is lots of fried foods, processed foods, and sugar. Also, no exercise and NEVER use an umbrella when you go walking in the hot Santiago sun. Also it helps to be black, as we as a people rarely crack LOL

SHALENA

 

[jrhartley]

think again

 

[SKing]

OMG I am on the floor! You are so wrong! But thats due to the cigarettes!

SHALENA