Dear Doctor Badpiece...

[dulce]

Men like whores because they can pay her to leave and not deal with the BS that comes with most women in the states and other countries.

So true. Men are too lazy to put in the real work. Thank goodness we have the freedom to choose our own lifestyles. Hopefully we can do what we want without too many judgements passed on us.
In my next life I want to be mrgoodpiece and do what to hell ever I want guilt free. I wish you good luck in "keeping UP" your lifestyle for many years to "cum".

 

[RacerX]

So true. Men are too lazy to put in the real work. Thank goodness we have the freedom to choose our own lifestyles. Hopefully we can do what we want without too many judgements passed on us.
In my next life I want to be mrgoodpiece and do what to hell ever I want guilt free. I wish you good luck in "keeping UP" your lifestyle for many years to "cum".

Define REAL WORK?

 

[dulce]

umm... as is building a serious relationship with someone they love and want to spend time with other than in the bedroom.
Many of you guys are the ones who go so far to say that buying dinner,flowers,etc.etc. for a real girlfriend is the same as prostitution. I think this is just one of many examples of how they justify p4p and avoiding real emotions.
Nothing wrong with what they choose. Many of them are babyboomers. Free love the sexual revolution all that stuff. Funny how that free love turned into p4p and love has nothing to do with it.
Why do I feel like a freekin' shrink today?! LOL

 

[Berzin]

Many of you guys are the ones who go so far to say that buying dinner,flowers,etc.etc. for a real girlfriend is the same as prostitution. I think this is just one of many examples of how they justify p4p and avoiding real emotions.

The truth when it comes to dating North American women is this-we are disposable to them. The contrived dating ritual speaks to this.

It is a one-sided affair. We are expected to shower women with attention and other things while they play mind games. Then they compare notes during their girls' night out for the sheer sake of ridiculing the men who chase them. It's emasculating and contemptuous.

Funny thing is, the end game is just as bad for women as it is for men. When women condition themselves to treat men like this, they become just as emotionally ill-equipped to handle a meaningful relationship as men who cavort with chicas in the DR.

If men and women would sit down and talk TO each other rather than talk AT each other, blaming each other for what someone else has done to them, maybe the level of sex tourism would diminish to an extent.

As it is, I see lonely men drinking themselves to death from loneliness, and frustrated wives home alone with the kids. This neurotic social construct is what dominates the social landscape in America. The henpecked, beer-bellied husband who can't do anything right versus the battle-axe wife who lost her figure and refuses to shave her mustache.

And all we can do is blame each other for coming up short of our collective unrealistic expectations for each other.

Is there any doubt as to why someone would choose an alternative lifestyle if this is what awaits them?

 

[SKing]

But your lady friend who says this is making an egocentrically subjective statement. She assumes she is more intelligent than said whore. She may know what she knows but who is to say that that knowledge is of interest to you? I know MANY female lawyers in the US and DR and they are all BORING. Strong minded(I guess that means obstinate and unwilling to compromise) and independent? Well that means to me: a. we will always be getting into arguments about what to do; and b. one of use wants to be the boss AND not concede to the others point. She wants to wear the pants. Well most men and I do mean MOST MEN will take the position that if she wants to wear the pants she doesnt need me to be in the house. Its a contest that she will always win. A relationship cannot be where I work one pant leg and she does the other and somehow by the "Love of Cronkite(?)" we will end up at the same destination.

In the DR, it is comfortably accepted that the man will be wear the pants and his decisions are those that the couple will take. That is ideologically anathema to your USA bred-Destiny's Child woman. And therefore she will look down on any woman who holds to this philosophy, even Dominican women raised in the US or transplanted there sometime during their formative years.

This is not necessarily true. In the beginning of my relationship with Victor's father, I was very much with the Destiny's child attitude. A friend of mine explain to me that Dominican men are like children (she is from El Salvador, her husband from DR). She said, "Shalena, he has to make all decisions, he has to feel like every idea is his or he will feel worthless". It was very hard for me to change my habits but I did it at that time. Even though I paid my own rent in Santiago (what he made in a month could not have paid my rent), I let this person make all my decisions because I was told that that is what "Dominican women do" and that I needed to conform. When you are single, you try to figure out what you have done in past relationships and I thought "maybe I DO come off a little too strong" He paid when we went out or gave me 100RD here and there but nothing near the $3000 I spent per month, yet and still he made my decisions. I had to sit back and think if this was how I wanted to spend my life...pretending that I had no opinions or decision-making skills of my own in order to make a man with an inferiority complex feel better. Mind you, I did it for some time but anytime we argued my true self came out. He was recently here in the States and after the first couple of days told me that he felt as if he had no say so over his own son (basically because I did not jump and do everything that he told me to regarding the care of our child)
I do not look down on the women that perform this way, I just could not put up that front for long. If they can, more power to them.
I do believe that men...especially Dominicans are so used to putas that an actual, real-life, "I don't have to depend on you to live" woman scares them. They know only 2 kinds...the "wife" sitting at home with a smile doing whatever the hell they say in the house, or their whore sitting by her phone with a smile willing to do whatever the hell they say in the bed.
Just my opinion, which we all know...doesn't mean much

SHALENA

 

[Tamborista]

They know only 2 kinds...the "wife" sitting at home with a smile doing whatever the hell they say in the house, or their whore sitting by her phone with a smile willing to do whatever the hell they say in the bed.
Just my opinion, which we all know...doesn't mean much

SHALENA

What about the mistress, that cooks, cleans, as well as sucks & phucks?
That is the best of both worlds, a wife rarely does more than 1/4 tasks.

tambo'

 

[AlterEgo]

My husband is one of five brothers, one sister. The sister doesn't take any nonsense from anyone, she's had two husbands, both Dominicans. Of the five boys, two of them are married to rather submissive women. One is highly educated, raised in NYC, good job, etc., but if I call her to ask if we can stop by to drop something off she has to ask her husband first. The other is married to a much younger, very passive [-20 years younger] woman. The first wife was a lovely, educated and intelligent woman who didn't put up with his crap and divorced him. The other 3 brothers are married to self-sufficient, educated, bright business women. (I'm the only non-Dominican in the family, cousins included.)

I have to say that the women I know in Santo Domingo are for the most part NOT the shrinking violets that so many claim they are. Only one brother controls all the money in the family. I don't know if this is peculiar to the women in my husband's family, but it's true for his large extended family. And let me tell you, you'd have a hard time finding a woman more self-sufficient and independent than my mother-in-law.

Like Shalena, I'd never pass that submissive test, but I am not a feminist. We make decisions together on important things. "What do you think about such-and-such..." is a common opening sentence in our house. I love to cook for my family, and I go out of my way to make things he likes. When something is important to one of us, it's a given that the other will agree.

I think a strong, self-assured man has little problem with a woman who is self-sufficient and an equal partner. It's the ones with low self-esteem that have the need to be "the boss".

Just my two pesos worth.... probably not worth any more than that :bunny::bunny:

AE

 

[SKing]

.

I think a strong, self-assured man has little problem with a woman who is self-sufficient and an equal partner. It's the ones with low self-esteem that have the need to be "the boss".

AE

My opinion exactly.........Thanks
SHALENA

 

[william webster]

NOT SUBMISSIVE...NOT A FEMINIST

I think this is on topic and on target.
Pls forgive for not reading ALL of the previous posts.

I have spoken to many of my female friends - incl former girlfriends who are 60-ish.
They feel were led astray by the likes of Gloria Steinham.... "Go get it girls ! "
These were the vanguard of the feminist movement... with no real practical examples to light their path....suffragettes - no, I don't think so - anyway too far back in time

Some are very unhappy at 60 +/- with just a successful career and no relationships ( marriage)...
What does the future hold now Ms Steinham?

Guess where Gloria is.... she gave up the ghost as her latter years approached...
Got married and is living "happily everafter"...... not all the disciples were so lucky.... they're still toiling under the glass ceiling with not enough to retire comfortably

Good for you AE to not only find the balance but to strike it..
Not all females of your generation were so lucky.

I remember a Today show.... many moons ago .....where one of the "bra burners" had seen seen the light.

"There are 3 things... a good career, a good relationship/marriage, and a good family (meaning children)....
Go ahead pick any two.... all three is virtually impossible.

That may stand today...... you tell me:squareeye

WW
Slightly anachronistic father of two females

 

[Alyonka]

It is possible to have all three, but it is much more work and motivation. Life was never meant to be easy.

 

[SKing]

I have 2...#1 and #3, and would gladly give up #1 for #2:cheeky:
But I don't question God

SHALENA

 

[william webster]

It is possible to have all three, but it is much more work and motivation. Life was never meant to be easy.

Do you think you can achieve your uppermost goals in all three?

Are you reduced to mediocrity in any category? Middle of the road ?

Is that acceptable -- or just part of the sacrifice ?

The original comment was made by a superbly qualified person who did not want compromise in any category.
That in itself might have dictated failure.... but still, the point has validity.

WW

 

[badpiece33]

I think women in the US became too independent and too equal to men in the way they think and behave. It has destroyed a lot of romantic relationships, unfortunately. I think women should still keep their feminine side while being strong and independent.

From your lips to Gods ears!!!

 

[dulce]

The truth when it comes to dating North American women is this-we are disposable to them. The contrived dating ritual speaks to this.

It is a one-sided affair. We are expected to shower women with attention and other things while they play mind games. Then they compare notes during their girls' night out for the sheer sake of ridiculing the men who chase them. It's emasculating and contemptuous.

Funny thing is, the end game is just as bad for women as it is for men. When women condition themselves to treat men like this, they become just as emotionally ill-equipped to handle a meaningful relationship as men who cavort with chicas in the DR.

If men and women would sit down and talk TO each other rather than talk AT each other, blaming each other for what someone else has done to them, maybe the level of sex tourism would diminish to an extent.

As it is, I see lonely men drinking themselves to death from loneliness, and frustrated wives home alone with the kids. This neurotic social construct is what dominates the social landscape in America. The henpecked, beer-bellied husband who can't do anything right versus the battle-axe wife who lost her figure and refuses to shave her mustache.

And all we can do is blame each other for coming up short of our collective unrealistic expectations for each other.

Is there any doubt as to why someone would choose an alternative lifestyle if this is what awaits them?

Your post is spot on as usual. You seem to think about and understand relationships. You and I are talking about different generations. I agree that younger women's expectations are out of line. They expect too much and then talk crap about the men trying to please them.
Older women are a different story. The majority of men who interest them have been shi* on too many times and lump/blame all women as someone who will do the same to them.
The majority of my best friends are male and all of my lovers are male and I love to learn from them how men think. I am not afraid of open and honest communications about the differences of the sexes.

 

[Alyonka]

Do you think you can achieve your uppermost goals in all three?

Are you reduced to mediocrity in any category? Middle of the road ?

Is that acceptable -- or just part of the sacrifice ?

The original comment was made by a superbly qualified person who did not want compromise in any category.
That in itself might have dictated failure.... but still, the point has validity.

WW

There are so many women in the world who study, work, have kids, take care of husbands and houses. I was this way for almost 10 years. They also never, ever complain, and take care of themselves. A lot of people in the US are way too spoiled. They complain all the time and want too much from life. By staying humble and hard work anyone can achieve what they want to accomplish.

 

[RacerX]

umm... as is building a serious relationship with someone they love and want to spend time with other than in the bedroom.
Many of you guys are the ones who go so far to say that buying dinner,flowers,etc.etc. for a real girlfriend is the same as prostitution. I think this is just one of many examples of how they justify p4p and avoiding real emotions.
Nothing wrong with what they choose. Many of them are babyboomers. Free love the sexual revolution all that stuff. Funny how that free love turned into p4p and love has nothing to do with it.
Why do I feel like a freekin' shrink today?! LOL

a. I m not a babyboomer. I was born in 1973.

b. I have not drawn a parallel between going out and paying for your dates with prostitution. I have never heard any dude here say that he will NEVER pay for a date when he goes out with a woman. I specifically have said that she has to work her way up to the "Chez Fancy" places. You dont get front row tickets to Sade all at once. Sometimes you gotta start by sitting on the bench in the park listening to the Human Beat Box. It becomes prostitution when the woman expects you to give her money for her company or furnish her with things because the relationship has become sexual. This is a huge relational problem for me in the DR, that didnt exist in the US. In the US, the desire to be sexual was mutual not a quid pro quo situation.

c. I had asked you to define what you meant by real work. You really just clarified that you meant a relationship with a purpose not just to philander around. I still ask you what do you mean by real work?
I meet a lot of women who could be formidable relationship potential in the DR but economic disparity always finds a way to crimp any bonafide future developments. In the US, I come up short because either my tastes arent compelling or my ideas and sentiments arent common.

 

[RacerX]

This is not necessarily true. In the beginning of my relationship with Victor's father, I was very much with the Destiny's child attitude. A friend of mine explain to me that Dominican men are like children (she is from El Salvador, her husband from DR). She said, "Shalena, he has to make all decisions, he has to feel like every idea is his or he will feel worthless". It was very hard for me to change my habits but I did it at that time. Even though I paid my own rent in Santiago (what he made in a month could not have paid my rent), I let this person make all my decisions because I was told that that is what "Dominican women do" and that I needed to conform. When you are single, you try to figure out what you have done in past relationships and I thought "maybe I DO come off a little too strong" He paid when we went out or gave me 100RD here and there but nothing near the $3000 I spent per month, yet and still he made my decisions. I had to sit back and think if this was how I wanted to spend my life...pretending that I had no opinions or decision-making skills of my own in order to make a man with an inferiority complex feel better. Mind you, I did it for some time but anytime we argued my true self came out. He was recently here in the States and after the first couple of days told me that he felt as if he had no say so over his own son (basically because I did not jump and do everything that he told me to regarding the care of our child)
I do not look down on the women that perform this way, I just could not put up that front for long. If they can, more power to them.
I do believe that men...especially Dominicans are so used to putas that an actual, real-life, "I don't have to depend on you to live" woman scares them. They know only 2 kinds...the "wife" sitting at home with a smile doing whatever the hell they say in the house, or their whore sitting by her phone with a smile willing to do whatever the hell they say in the bed.
Just my opinion, which we all know...doesn't mean much

SHALENA

a. Thanks for your response, BUT there are not only 2 kinds. The notion that if a Dominican woman defers her opinion makes her puta is way overboard. I dont know if the Dominican man has an inferiority complex, but I do know that a dog with 2 heads only guards the gate to hell. My point is I dont think I could and I never could stand a interaction where everything is combat. Why would you need to be so competitive with your mate? And why would you berate him if he is unwilling to, as I will put it, "en-stress-tulate" himself? To me, his woman should be the best decision he has ever made in his life. His true pride and glory, not pain and grief. His shining star on his darkest night, not some boil on his big toe. Maybe I got it wrong.

Man, I ll tell you plain, if I was this dude I couldnt hack it. I wouldnt come home. And when I did, I would only shower, eat and leave. Now women of your ilk would say "You aint a real man because you cant handle a real woman." And I would counter, "At home, a man is the king of his castle. In my kingdom aint nothing but aggression and warfare going on. Therefore, I here do by, abdicate the throne. It's all yours." And then 4 years later you have the same women waiting for "God to send a man into my life." I ve seen it, and heard it.

b. If you think the Dominican man are childish in their "need" to control the relationship, I d like to hear what you think of Dominican women. In my experience, they are the worst at making any decisions. I have encountered women who pick the wrong or worst facts to adhere to when it becomes time to decide. Even the rationale and understanding of the decision making process are ruled by emotion and not principles.

 

[RacerX]

I think a strong, self-assured man has little problem with a woman who is self-sufficient and an equal partner. It's the ones with low self-esteem that have the need to be "the boss".

AE

I dont think so. We are talking about self-sufficient. We are talking about "strong minded, independent, doing my own thing, paying my own bills, dont need no man for nothing" women. They dont need a man for nothing & they cannot get a man for anything. Because NO MAN who is self-sufficient so on and so forth wants a combative romantic relationship. And the guys who do, seriously, their shyt aint together. Yeah, they may have income and nice job, so on and so forth, but they are crazy. Every time you see them, they are always arguing or yelling into their phone or something high arterial blood pressure related. Thats too much stress to secure a companion to me.

 

[dulce]

a. I m not a babyboomer. I was born in 1973. So you were brought up by a boomer.b. I have not drawn a parallel between going out and paying for your dates with prostitution. I have never heard any dude here say that he will NEVER pay for a date when he goes out with a woman. I specifically have said that she has to work her way up to the "Chez Fancy" places. You dont get front row tickets to Sade all at once. Sometimes you gotta start by sitting on the bench in the park listening to the Human Beat Box. It becomes prostitution when the woman expects you to give her money for her company or furnish her with things because the relationship has become sexual. This is a huge relational problem for me in the DR, that didnt exist in the US. In the US, the desire to be sexual was mutual not a quid pro quo situation.

c. I had asked you to define what you meant by real work. You really just clarified that you meant a relationship with a purpose not just to philander around. I still ask you what do you mean by real work?
I meet a lot of women who could be formidable relationship potential in the DR but economic disparity always finds a way to crimp any bonafide future developments. In the US, I come up short because either my tastes arent compelling or my ideas and sentiments arent common.

To answer points b and c... I can't answer them. Like most of your posts I don't understand you way of thinking. It must be because I am a boomer.
Get someone else to teach you what real work on a relationship is please. Whatever I say is sure to be wrong in your opinion. You are intitled to your opinions and I am entitled to mine. Neither of us is right or wrong.

 

[RacerX]

To answer points b and c... I can't answer them. Like most of your posts I don't understand you way of thinking. It must be because I am a boomer.
Get someone else to teach you what real work on a relationship is please. Whatever I say is sure to be wrong in your opinion. You are intitled to your opinions and I am entitled to mine. Neither of us is right or wrong.

Well, if you cant tell me, then it is fair to assume that you dont know either, isnt it?

A statement like "real work" is the equivalent of someone saying "I m real hungry." What constitutes real to you? Actually the unclear part is what constitutes work to you? Real is a relationship which will terminate somewhere in marriage or something like it, I got that. But how do you work at? Not by expecting your mate to throw money at you an intern on the Lets Make A Deal do you? I thought baby-boomers were the beacon generation for the women self-identity movement, werent they?