Dminican Daddy disrespecting my wife!

[Harleysrock]

DV8 I know what you meant and i told her moving here with the men would be a hard part they follow her around stores...
She loves it here so much b/c she is in so much less pain b/c of moto accident in rainy cold van and most the men have been nothing but respectful. This man did not see me, if he did he may have acted different b/c of my "bad ass" tats ( I am no bad ass ) but they think it if you have lots of tats which I LOVE!!! Shhhh don't tell anyone that!!! I am a pussy cat!!!

 

[Harleysrock]

omg i did not mean to dislike that pollo!!! I actually meant to like it twice ;-)

 

[Harleysrock]

Your wife shouldve put the ass in his place. Since she didnt, its your job. Do not call his wife. That will end very badly for you.

Having a friend of yours there is not a bad idea. No need for it be a confrontation either. Let him know that you know what he said to your wife and he'll have to find another instructor for his kid. Either that, or someone else must bring the kid to the lessons. Let him know he's not allowed on your property again.

There is no way he can continue to come to your house after that type of disrespect.

She was in shock i wish she could have cold cocked him!

 

[dv8]

i suggest you do not get confrontational. if the guy dips his finger in something illegal, like the rumour has it, he may think nothing of killing both of you for "disrespecting" him. you never know who you are dealing with. some people snap easily. dominican men are often hot blooded and not in control of their emotions. there is no need whatsoever for this to cause you any more anxiety

 

[Harleysrock]

I will just be matter of fact unlike how i would be in Canada! That guy would get the beating of his life, not from me b.c I don't fight but from friends... I know it is different here! Thank you all for your input it is all appreciated!!

 

[the gorgon]

OK so my wife has been teaching piano to an 8 year old girl for at least a month, at least half of which she would get paid in Canada. She likes doing it so that is not the issue.
Every time she goes the Dominican Dad say something along the lines of that he likes what she is wearing and always has a boner.

Today he told her it was her fault he had the boner b.c of what she wearing.

My wife has MAJOR PTSD from major abuse that i don't really want to get into. I really wouldn't care if she didn't have PTSD, since he was paying her more and more. His wife is russian with fake boobs etc..

My question is since i don't know the culture and I am pretty sure since his daughter doesn't know what he does for a living he does something shady since he was deported from the US and certain things to lead us to believe this... how do I handle this.

I am F%CKING LIVID!

But do you think me going there and calmly saying my wife will no longer be teaching your child because of your behavior will go over well?? Should I ask to talk to the wife? Or do I bring my 6.6 foot Barrio guard with me?

I will not have my wife go through this ****, the sad part is the daughter was beginning to learn and excited about it. I of course would not say anything in the area if the daughter.

Please help!

now do you understand why i told you not to allow these barbarians to dance with your wife? you thought i was making stuff up to demean these people? NOT.

 

[Lucille]

Here's the Dominican way of dealing with it.

Don't.

No confrontation. No explanation. Just stop giving the lesson.

Harleysrock:
Well said, I agree 100% with Pollo's advise.
Get away from that family and erase them from your life, do not get aggravation for anything.
When something gives you problem, just keep away in a good manner.
Enjoy your life, your beautiful wife and all the beauty around you.
Life is too short....God Bless you
Lucille

 

[dulce]

Harley, You have stated many times that you are new to the DR and are interested in learning the culture differences.
In time you will learn to decipher their way of thinking. This man does not know that he is disrespecting your wife. He SERIOUSLY thinks he is complimenting her. With no amount of explaining to him will you convince him otherwise.
When I lived in the DR men said plenty of things to me that I never would have excepted in the US. At first I was very insulted. Then I learned that it is their culture. I dealt with it with a sense of humor. I also learned from the Dominican women how to react and what to say or not say to the (cough , cough) compliments from unwanted advances.
Good luck handling the situation.

 

[Luperon]

To maintain optimum safety always assume the person you are posting about reads DR1. This guy has a very high testosterone level and is a prime candidate for a confrontation. Tactfully avoid all future contact even if it means swallowing a bit of your pride and anger. Your family's safety is your prime concern.

 

[the gorgon]

Harley, You have stated many times that you are new to the DR and are interested in learning the culture differences.
In time you will learn to decipher their way of thinking. This man does not know that he is disrespecting your wife. He SERIOUSLY thinks he is complimenting her. With no amount of explaining to him will you convince him otherwise.
When I lived in the DR men said plenty of things to me that I never would have excepted in the US. At first I was very insulted. Then I learned that it is their culture. I dealt with it with a sense of humor. I also learned from the Dominican women how to react and what to say or not say to the (cough , cough) compliments from unwanted advances.
Good luck handling the situation.

as i said before, it is not even some island phenomenon, germinated by the heat of the noonday sun. nor is it some Latino machismo disorder. in my experience, Puerto Rican men are scrupulously respectful of other people's wives, or female companions, in general.. they are just like every other man on earth; they will look, and they will be lustful, if the situation warrants it. however, they will not take it to the level where they bark out remarks like "aiii, que pompey", or some other equal inanity. they respect both the woman, and the man who is accompanying her. Dominicans do not give a rat's backside. you could be walking with your wife and children, and they will still be braying out silly comments directed to your wife.

 

[Criss Colon]

Enough "Gorilla Chest Thumping" about what you WOULD DO!
Do NOTHING!!!!
No "Call", no "Visit", "NADA!
He will know why the lessons stopped, and, most likely,so will his wife.
Even if the wife calls to ask, you can THEN tell her what the guy is doing.
That way, she won't get all, in-your-face,defensive of him, which she WILL, if you go to her house.
Hey, she's married to the guy, you don't think she knows, and accepts,typical "Macho Man" Dominican behavior????
Getting mad at a Dominican man for behaving inappropriately (In OUR Terms) toward a woman, is like getting pi$$ed at a male dog for pi$$ing on your tree!
At least, since the dog is smarter, you can train the dog to go "Pi$$ In His OWN Backyard"!!!!
You, and especially your wife, need to learn that, if a woman acknowledges, in ANY Way, the comments of a Dominicano, he takes that as a "YES", move ahead.
A woman, can't be "Polite" with a Dominicano, especially when she is alone with him, and "Kids" being present don't make any difference!
It's a different culture here.
It's pretty much accepted by all Dominican parties, females, and especially males!
It's partly due to the "Latin" heritage, but mostly due to third world economics.
In a First World Country, women can get a job earning as much, or more, money than a man.
OR, the "Nanny State" will foot-the-bill!
They don't have to put up with the "Macho man Bull$hit" just because they need his support for her, and usually, for her children!
Tomorrow is:....................."The Day Of Mass Confusion" here in the Dominican Republic.
"Father's Day"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[jilly777]

Thinking the consensus is that your wife has by Dominican standards not been dis respected....but that doesn,t make the situation any better for a woman who is not used to this kind of stuff.
A simple phone call and future cancellation of lessons with a lame excuse seems the safest cure all round.
Any sort of confrontation is a very bad idea and brings with it possible consequenses.
Just mark it up as a learning curve and discuss how to deal with any similar situs. in the future.
There are a lot of forum members who have given you some sound advice....take it and move on.
cheers J

 

[jabejuventus]

You, and especially your wife, need to learn that, if a woman acknowledges, in ANY Way, the comments of a Dominicano, he takes that as a "YES", move ahead.
A woman, can't be "Polite" with a Dominicano, especially when she is alone with him, and "Kids" being present don't make any difference!

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Exactly my concern w/all this. The man told HRock's wife that it's her fault for dressing the way she did. What's that about. She has to take some responsibility here. If the accused man is accurate, then his statement explains alot.

Happy Father's Day everybody.

 

[pollogringo]

Exactly my concern w/all this. The man told HRock's wife that it's her fault for dressing the way she did. What's that about. She has to take some responsibility here. If the accused man is accurate, then his statement explains alot.

Happy Father's Day everybody.

Shall she wear a burqa because the guy has impulse control issues?

 

[Aguaita29]

One thing is to hear something on the street from some random guy or a motoconcho driver. That you ignore! Yeah, most Dominican men tend to "compliment" girls, even if they`re married, but it`s usually stuff like how pretty, elegant you are, how your man is a lucky a guy, etc. A guy whose home you go to for work talking about a boner, knows he`s crossing the line, even by Dominican standards. The best thing for a woman in a situation like this is to tell the guy, right on the spot, that you`re not going to put up with his bull****.


What was your wife`s reactions to his comments? If she smiled or just ignored him, there is a chance he might think she kind of likes him and that he might have a chance with her.

Wait till they call you, and when they do, let his wife and daughter know that your wife is not coming back because he was a "fresco" with her.

 

[avi8or57]

Dude, stop stressing this and move FORWARD! Chalk it up to experience! This guy is obviously a low life, and if he displayed a BONER to your wife with his daughter present, even more so! Walk away from this piece of s@&t!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE LESSONS ELSEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[jeanchris]

Dude, your gonna get beatup if you do anything.

You are not in Canada, just move on, he probably even know she has a husband, you think a Dominican that talk like this to a women that is most likely married and that he his married himself care about the little gringo husband?

Move on!!!

 

[bronzeallspice]

From reading all the comments so far, Harley, I have a suggesting, like I said you and
your wife will be the ones to decide what is best to do. I do feel sorry for the girl, that
because of her father's lowlife behavior, she won't be able to enjoy anymore piano
lessons.

Why don't you suggest to your wife not to dress in such a revealing way because of the
culture, if she feels offended by this lowlife's comments. I am not suggesting that she
dress up like a nun, just to dress conservative to give out piano lessons.

I don't know of any man in the US that if he sees a woman dressed up in a revealing
manner wouldn't feel something stirring in their pants. The only difference between that
man and this one, the lowlife goes and makes a comment about it to her husband.

Remember, this is the culture where men compliment pretty women in public especially
if they dress like they work at Passions (I'm not saying your wife dresses like that Harley).

This is what I've said before, if you want to live in the DR, you must learn to adjust to the
culture or you will have an extremely hard time. Do not compare life with the US or you will
will become very bitter.

You can always go with her when she gives out piano lessons too.

 

[Aguaita29]

Did he really say the boner comments in front of his daughter? I doubt it. The girl is not a little kid and this guy would want her to have a good impression of him. If she heard that, she would tell her mom anyway.

Him being aware that she knows why the classes stopped might be that ONE thing that could actually make him feel shame.

 

[pollogringo]

Why don't you suggest to your wife not to dress in such a revealing way because of the
culture, if she feels offended by this lowlife's comments. I am not suggesting that she
dress up like a nun, just to dress conservative to give out piano lessons.

I don't know of any man in the US that if he sees a woman dressed up in a revealing
manner wouldn't feel something stirring in their pants. The only difference between that
man and this one, the lowlife goes and makes a comment about it to her husband.

Who said she's dressing inappropriately? The student's father. I'd say we've established he's no expert on propriety.

FYI: Grown men don't get erections every time they see an attractive woman. And they certainly don't point them out when they do. That's called sexual harassment in the context described in this thread..