Do Dominican women make good mothers?

[beastwood]

It takes a broom...

my wife is 30 years old from sd Norte. Like many girls, she grew up with responsibities helping to keep the household running. cleaning, laundry, caring for younger siblings and primos. and today? She is a great mother...to her nieces, nephew and all around great daughter...but never had a baby herself, wants one as she feels she is way, way over the hill now at 30.
domincanas great mothers? ..well, my wife is a great family woman, so I have no doubts. But then there is her brother.


My wife is the closest mother figure to her 25 year old brother's son. The baby is 5 now, sweet as the day is long and well cared for by my wife and my wife'parents. The brother (baby's dad), lives local, took his first full time job a few months back, even moved back in with his parents after his latest"wife" kicked him out, but still will not support his baby boy in any way...financially or emotionally. (And for point of reference gringo here buys $5 worth of Hotwheels cars as the extent of my financial contributions to my now nephew). To say the little man is starving for his parents would be correct...but it appears he does not know it...not today. however The baby is quite bonded to my wife... She is All he really has emotionally in this world. It will hard on everyone when my wife moves away, which will happen God willing in the coming months.


For you see, my wife wants a life and family of her own. She has had to put her "UASD degree" *on hold numerous times since 2004 to take jobs to put milk on the table for the baby while bro has had two other babies, and been busy with dominoes at the colmado day in and year out. And the baby's birth mom? ...lives around the corner, looks like a little disco sex pot, and will take the baby for maybe a few hours or a day once a month if it suits her. Otherwise her quest for blackberries and bachata are much more interesting than a baby. C'mon who can blame her right? Babies are boring, need showers, medicine, clothes, and love...how beneath Chica.


Gracias a Dios pork The villiage picks up the slack...


so my wife just wants a baby of her own after she finishes her schooling...espero...espero...pacience...first in the family to get a degree so uni is important even if it is from UASD.. And *On hold from that wretched first uni in the new world also means dealing with all the dysfunction of professors who don't show to half their classes...so between trying navigate the university and do the right thing by supporting (or enabling) the irresponsibility of her nephews blood parents, a decent woman waits for her own life to start...doesn't take a rich or brilliant gringo to look mighty appealing...even if my arrival does threaten to interrupt her 8 year plan at the beloved UASD.


my sweety loves her country, family, and our plans include the great return to rep dom in a few years (life will bring a whole new set of immense challenges when my wife lands in the US)...but right now she wants her own life free from the distraction of obligations she feels...but really are misplaced, as the obligations belong to the blood mother and father whom do not see responsibility...


this dynamic (an immature almost criminal sense that someone else will care for my baby) is all too common and does reflect the culture as Bob puts it. And it indeed takes a village of good nurturing folks to save and raise these children. And this is the wonderful part of dominican culture at work, (All be it while simultaneously enabling the bad behavior of babyish breeders). Thank God for good mothers and fathers and grand parents who pick up the pieces, not to mention those boys and girls who actually do grow up having had to push a broom and otherwise contribute to the household. They are out there.

 

[Aguaita29]

Why is it so difficult for so many people to wait until they have their lives more-or-less sorted out BEFORE having children?

Things aren't always that black and white! There are many mothers who actually waited till they had a career and a job to get married and have kids; Then after a divorce the ex husband just takes off and you can't count on him, leaving the woman struggling with a few kids. I know cases in which the reason of the divorce is that the guy got another woman pregnant; Later all of the guy's income, now goes to his new family.

It's not always that the woman was careless and that she got pregnant at 16 and decided to have kids without even knowing how she would support them.

By the way some Dominican men tend put one of their kids on hold financially while they sort things out with the other(s); This month they send some money to the kids that they had with this woman, then next month is someone else's turn! But as a mother, you can't feed or send one of your kids to school this month and make the other one wait for next month.

 

[Chirimoya]

It's not always that the woman was careless and that she got pregnant at 16 and decided to have kids without even knowing how she would support them.

These are the cases I was talking about, not the ones where the mothers did make sensible choices and ended up in a difficult situation due to external factors. There are simply too many people having children before they are ready to provide them with a decent life.

 

[Criss Colon]

Dominican MOTHERS, are really GREAT!
GREAT Enablers"!
A mothers job is to give unconditional love,AND to teach their children personal,national, and even International, responsibility!
Dominican mothers THINK they are giving love, but in fact they are just enabling their kids to act irresponsibly!
An irresponsible child/adult, has no self esteem, or empathy.
Sound like Dominicans??
YOU decide!
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[JMB773]

Spin off alert

Well they churn them out, but are they any good at the after care?

Discuss!



(For the purpose of this discussion I will allow some generalization, but lets not get all JMB on this and start proclaiming all Dominican mothers would sell their kids for a few grand.)

Were you born in the Dominican Republic?

Were you raised by a Dominican woman?

Do you have any idea how racist this question sounds? I mean REALLY what kind of SICK question is this?

Do Domincan women make good mothers? What kind of responses are you expecting to recieve? This thread is TRASH the only thing you want to hear is stories about how some Dominican women give their child to the grandmother so the can party.

You are taken something as "sacred and precious" as motherhood and try to soil it for your own twisted purpose. Tell me Giveadog what countries has "bad mothers" if your asking the question" does Dominican women make good mothers"
You do not think a woman's environment plays no roll in how she is percieved as a good or bad mother? There is a good reason why the women of Notting Hill London and the women of Beverly Hills CA will NEVER have to answer this question and the women of Boca Chica DR and the women of Tijuana Mexico may have to by people as yourself.

Many things in the latin community and African American community is considered" tambo" or off limits and questioning a woman on how she raises her kids and parent is a big NO NO!!!

BTW If you entire circle of Dominicans are judges, lawyers, bankers, business owners, CFOs, CEOs, brokers, etc the " upper class and right Dominicans" when would you have the time see the so called "no good mothers of the DR" I think Dominicans let you get away with way TOO MUCH because you feel because you live there and have a wife native to the island that you have the right to say anything you want. I hope you are just a typical "keyboard warrior" and not apply you way of thinking on DR1 in the real world, because if you do you may find yourself in a stitution were a moderator can't get you out off.

 

[RGVgal]

Like every place there are good mothers and bad ones. My mother was and is a wonderful mother to me. I think I'm a wonderful mother to my kids. I have seen some Dominican moms that are bad and have abandoned their kids or are terrible moms for one reason or another, but that is not unique to Dominicans. I have seen it with Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Americans, etc. Also, just because someone is present doesn't make them a good parent. They could be abusive and the child would be better off if they were gone.

In terms of the nanny, just because someone has a nanny at a restaurant or a store it doesn't mean that they are not involved in the care of the child.

 

[JMB773]

Like every place there are good mothers and bad ones. My mother was and is a wonderful mother to me. I think I'm a wonderful mother to my kids. I have seen some Dominican moms that are bad and have abandoned their kids or are terrible moms for one reason or another, but that is not unique to Dominicans. I have seen it with Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Americans, etc. Also, just because someone is present doesn't make them a good parent. They could be abusive and the child would be better off if they were gone.

In terms of the nanny, just because someone has a nanny at a restaurant or a store it doesn't mean that they are not involved in the care of the child.

I am curious what defines a good mother, and what defines a bad mother? Everything may look wonderful from the curb, but unless you are a child in that home or the husband of that wife you have no idea what goes on behind a closed door.

There is no such thing as "good mothers and bad mothers" some group of people are all about appearances and that is why when the market tanked back in 2008 so many of the GREAT WHITE AMERICAN FATHERS took a gun and destroyed his entire family because he could live with the shame of not being able to show the world he is a " good dad"

 

[Criss Colon]

You are Soooooooo right "JMB"!
Here in the DR, the fathers just kill their "Baby Mamas", not the kids, then themselves.
You are just wrong with the definition of what constitutes a "Bad Mother".
To me a "Bad Mother", is a mother who doesn't teach her children how to be a self respecting, responsible, productive member of their society.
One who doesn't teach her male offspring to respect not only her, but ALL Women!
Not just an absentee mother, or a mother who mentally, and/or physically abuses her children.
And just a reminder to you, and some other poster here on "DR1", this site is about the DOMINICAN Republic", NOT about making excuses for the DR by making unsubstantiated claims about EVERYWHERE ELSE!
KEEP it about the DR, or KEEP IT QUIET!
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[RGVgal]

You are Soooooooo right "JMB"!
Here in the DR, the fathers just kill their "Baby Mamas", not the kids, then themselves.
You are just wrong with the definition of what constitutes a "Bad Mother".
To me a "Bad Mother", is a mother who doesn't teach her children how to be a self respecting, responsible, productive member of their society.
One who doesn't teach her male offspring to respect not only her, but ALL Women!
Not just an absentee mother, or a mother who mentally, and/or physically abuses her children.
And just a reminder to you, and some other poster here on "DR1", this site is about the DOMINICAN Republic", NOT about making excuses for the DR by making unsubstantiated claims about EVERYWHERE ELSE!
KEEP it about the DR, or KEEP IT QUIET!
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What defines a good/bad mother is very subjective. This is my goal for my children "self respecting, responsible, productive member of their society"

The problem is people's idea of "self respecting, responsible and productive member of their society" can vary. Someone may think that they did a wonderful job if they daughter was able to leave the campo and marry a gringo, and someone else may view that as a failure.

 

[JMB773]

There is no such thing as "good mothers and bad mothers" some group of people are all about appearances and that is why when the market tanked back in 2008 so many of the GREAT WHITE AMERICAN FATHERS took a gun and destroyed his entire family because he could live with the shame of not being able to show the world he is a " good dad"
And how many cases of this were there?
Der Fish

Look up the term " Family Anileator" if it is such a rare occurence why does the act have its own term? Derfish please do not tell me you are a firm believer that everything that happens in the world is place on the internet and broadcast on the news.

I work in a company 96 % white picket fence American males and they have a pretty nice life wife, kids in good school, dog, nice home etc. Some of my co workers use the internet to hook up with escorts and they DO NOT try to hide it from their other co workers but their wifes have NO CLUE. Two guys even share the same escort, and most of the world would considered them a great provider, but exposes their partners to HIV or other STD's is something they are not to worry about. When we have our company picnic and I see some of the wives I want to run up to them and say please go get tested because your husbands are DI*KS.

That is the point I am trying to make is nobody knows what goes in a home, unless you are part of that home.

You are right I should not have said "good mothers and bad mothers do not exist, I should have said I have never witness a good mother or bad mother in action.

MY MOTHER IS NOT GOOD OR BAD, SHE IS MY MOTHER and 99.9% of children around the world see their mother the same way I see mine. Good day!!!

 

[Criss Colon]

"PS", I forgot the most important job for parents, raise a happy, AND healthy child!
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One reason DR mothers, and fathers if they are around,don't do, what I consider a "Good Job", is that being a "Good Parent" requires sacrifice.
All that time spent drinking, playing dominos,and leaving the kids with their "Abuelita", would be better spent with their children. Loving, nurturing, playing, and reading books!
How many times have you visited a Dominican home where a father,or mother, was down on the floor playing with their kids?
Playing board games,singing,coloring, playing cards, doing homework, praying, playing "catch",ANYTHING
If you want to see those activities, drop by my house ANYTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[JMB773]

You are Soooooooo right "JMB"!
Here in the DR, the fathers just kill their "Baby Mamas", not the kids, then themselves.
You are just wrong with the definition of what constitutes a "Bad Mother".
To me a "Bad Mother", is a mother who doesn't teach her children how to be a self respecting, responsible, productive member of their society.
One who doesn't teach her male offspring to respect not only her, but ALL Women!
Not just an absentee mother, or a mother who mentally, and/or physically abuses her children.
And just a reminder to you, and some other poster here on "DR1", this site is about the DOMINICAN Republic", NOT about making excuses for the DR by making unsubstantiated claims about EVERYWHERE ELSE!
KEEP it about the DR, or KEEP IT QUIET!
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CC you seem like an educated man. In DR there are very few resources to improve a single mothers living condition so how can you say that a woman is judge on how she parents when she NEVER has money, NEVER has food in the fridge, NEVER can provide cloths on a regular basis.

Food on the table, cloths, school etc are a GIVEN here because of the US government, but if a Dominican woman does not have money she is considered a bad person nevertheless a bad mother.

When FOOD is an issue EVERYTHING else is put on the back burner. Its very hard to teach when you constanly worried about how to feed your children.

Tell me CC how much money to you pay in taxes for your life in Santo Domingo? You live in a city where kids do not even have money for cloths to attend school.

You want to make it ALL about the DR? Real hard to do that when TOURISM and WESTERN UNION make a large part of the Dominican economy.

If a woman was not taught how to be a mother how can she teach her daughter how to be a mother and that is not just for women it go for everybody. A KING can't teach the prince how to be a KING if he was never a KING himself.

You know how many "upperclass Dominicans in their mid to upper 20's STILL LIVE at home with mommy and daddy?

 

[Criss Colon]

Using American men as examples of men who "Fool Around"????????
In a website about the DR, THAT is really a stretch!!!!!!!But then you are one of those who post about how much you know about "Life-in-the-DR" while freezing your ASSETS of in, where????
Oh, that's right "Chicago"!!!!!
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
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PS, Sad-To-Say, but if you think that a poor woman can't be a GREAT MOM, then you have no idea what it takes to be a good parent!!!
You have returned to your, It's Material Things", and providing them, that makes a good parent!
I know lots of Dominican "Good Parents" who don't have a"Pot-To-Pi$$-In" that areGREAT Parents!
Most in my wife's family.
The most important item a parent can give a child, is their TIME!
The other stuff is just "Gravy"!
As far as paying taxes here in SD, We ALL pay a LOT!
AND, it just got a lot worse!
It doesn't hurt me, just 95% of the Dominican households, the other 5% are Politicials, and Drug Dealers.

 

[JMB773]

Using American men as examples of men who "Fool Around"????????
In a website about the DR, THAT is really a stretch!!!!!!!But then you are one of those who post about how much you know about "Life-in-the-DR" while freezing your ASSETS of in, where????
Oh, that's right "Chicago"!!!!!
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
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I was making a point HIV and STD's are treated different in the USA then in the DR. It is more serious here exposing you partner to a life threatning diease.

I am in my mid 30's how old are you? I make WAY money working here then I would in Santo Domingo, I have better benefits life, medical, even better auto insurance when ever I buy my next car. My life insurance policy does not cover my child in Santo Domingo because once again their is a lot of red tape. The hospitals in Chicago are much better then Santo Domingo, if someone clone my debit card and take money out my Chase account that money is replaced right away no questions asked.

You want to know why the Dominican Republic is suitable for you? Everything is wonderful when you have a choice, you CHOOSE to live there but you can fly to Boston anytime you want giving CC the best of both worlds Licey and the Red Sox, but majority of Dominicans do not have this option and begging and pleading for work is something I find not really my style.

Pollogringo I think lives in Philly and are you going to say a person living in DR for 2 yrs straight know more about Dominicans and DR then he does? Pollogringo has a lot of knowledge in many arenas he even know a lot about Puerto Ricans and PR, but he has never lived there. You would have a point if I never lived there are have only visited there 3 times, but I am sorry to tell you I can tell the difference from Politur,AMET, and PN.

BTW I traveled to Santo Domingo once with two different people at two different times because they wanted to see Santo Domingo and both people who have NEVER met said the say thing word for word" WOW it is not how I pictured it" and neither one of them ever ask to see Santo Domingo again. It takes a special person and not in a good way or bad way to call DR home.

Since we are doing a P.S. I used to work for a real asshole I mean a jerk and one day he found out he had cancer and when he beat it and returned to work he was the NICEST person you would ever want to work for. Tell me CC why did he totally change his life. You think if a poor person with no money all of a sudden had a job making an average salary they would not change for the better?

It is not hurting me but if you enjoy being "Santa Claus" of AH Santo Domingo go right ahead, because there is no way in hell I would give a power company the money you give just to have the same source of power I have here. You know what I pay for lights 0 RD and in dollars it comes out to 0 USD. You know how money I spend on food for my neighbors 0 RD and in dollars it comes out to 0 USD.

 

[Aguaita29]

There was once this lady on the news who put her kids in a car and drowned them in a lake and then said that a black man had kidnapped them. She did it 'cause a guy dumped her because he din't want the burden of woman with kids. There was another "high class" woman who stabbed her two kids to cover the insurance because the family was in financial trouble .

So yes, a good mother teaches manners and respect towards others but where does all that go when you freaking kill your own kids!

 

[DOMINCAN JOE]

There was once this lady on the news who put her kids in a car and drowned them in a lake and then said that a black man had kidnapped them. She did it 'cause a guy dumped her because he din't want the burden of woman with kids. There was another "high class" woman who stabbed her two kids to cover the insurance because the family was in financial trouble .

So yes, a good mother teaches manners and respect towards others but where does all that go when you freaking kill your own kids!

Is this the one ?
LaShanda Armstrong drives herself and her 3 children into Hudson River | Mail Online

 

[AlterEgo]

No Joe, she means the white woman with the two beautiful little boys who died strapped into their carseats ...... down south somewhere..... the Carolinas? Georgia??

PS... Found it:

Susan Smith - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[bronzeallspice]

Jumble head

" Family Anileator" Nope, nothing on Google about this. Alligator families was the closest they had. Join Chip in the MSU degree club. As in Makes sh1t up club.

Derfish, I think JMB means" Family Annihilators".

 

[Aguaita29]

Is this the one ?
LaShanda Armstrong drives herself and her 3 children into Hudson River | Mail Online

No, that's another one. I'm talking about Susan Smith from North Carolina!

 

[DOMINCAN JOE]

Derfish, I think JMB means" Family Annihilators".

Jumble head

" Family Anileator" Nope, nothing on Google about this. Alligator families was the closest they had. . .

Der fish No Alligator only this Family Annihilator - Criminal Minds Wiki