Domincan geniality

[Chip00]

I agree. But also, we should not romanticize and say that the majority are good happy fellows. I changed opinion by the experiences I have had down here. Also, ask small business owner how they feel about the dominican mentality.

DR is a very beautiful country though and I love it for that.

I wasn't generalizing about Domincan morality, just there penchant for elevating geniality as important in semi-formal situations. This doesn't necessarily have to reflect the true feelings of the partakers in the social situations, only that it is important to appear civilized and genial.

Also, if one learns the to their "part" in being graceful it actually makes it easy to have conversations and make acquantainces. Maybe that is why Domincans are so much socially interactive that most gringos.

Also, I believe if one starts off with showing their "distrust" of the dynamic Domincans will generally read it very quickly and act accordingly. Conversley if one starts off on a more or less cheery disposition they generally will react with a positive disposition as well. Maybe this is why so many foreign posters on this board feel like Domincans don't care for them or make them feel like outsiders - because they start off on the wrong foot.

 

[Chip00]

...but i am still GRINGA, RUBIA, AMERICANA....

It's funny that you say that - I play around with my Domican acquaintances and tell them I'm Domincan and they say yes you are and I believe them when they say it and we continue to talk about all the things that normal Domincans talk about.

Therefore, you shouldn't expect to always feel left out or different. I believe one can be generally accepted as a Dominican by Domincans if one learns the language and the culture adequately.

 

[MommC]

I have seen both sides of the coin but generally people are congenial here except our local taxistas......ugh!!
I think a lot depends on where you are, what the situation is and how you present yourself and how you react and interact with those around you.
To look at me I'm obviously a 'gringa' however speak a few words with me (my Spanish is terrible) and you'll know I'm a 'Dominicana'
I do find that people in the 'campo' who have not been exposed to the 'tourist' much do tend to be more 'genuine' and are not as likely to try to 'rip you off' or take advantage.

 

[incredible]

I really think that in most countries, if you have an accident on a main road, people will help u instead of robbing u. Maybe I have to high thoughts of the human being...:glasses:

I had seen it before in DR, but never experienced it myself... Scarrry nothing u can do

Simply put desperate people do desperate things..
Unfortunately, a large % (not all) of Dominicans live in desperation...
This stems from a multiple reasons, lack of education, poverty, poor family values, drugs, corruption etc

Now if the lack of education, low family values and poverty didn't exist as it does there would be less desperation, and things would be better..

Having said that, I'm a little afraid of what the future bears, but am hopeful it won't take many generations for this beautiful country with warm people to grow out of this
vicious cycle....

Inc

 

[Capt. Rob57]

Cynical

I hardly think so I speak fluent Spanish not a gringo who learned Spanish. I am 50% Latino my grandfather came from Spain and my grandmother from Cuba. Grew up in a Latin household where the only gringo was my father. I have lived all over the D.R. yes there are good people but in general they are rude and self-center.

 

[Chip00]

I hardly think so I speak fluent Spanish not a gringo who learned Spanish. I am 50% Latino my grandfather came from Spain and my grandmother from Cuba. Grew up in a Latin household where the only gringo was my father. I have lived all over the D.R. yes there are good people but in general they are rude and self-center.

I'm sorry you have been given that impression. My experience has been the exact opposite. I have almost two years living here in Moca and Santiago and my Spanish is more or less fluent(maybe not as good as yours). Granted the way Dominicans cut in lines and to a lesser extent driving would lead some to think they are rude but I don't agree. For instance, I go right to the beginning of the line most of the time and when I drive I'm fairly aggressive and nobody gives me dirty looks or says anything - it's expected and nobody takes it personally.

I'm really interested how two people could have such different experencies even in formal situations like at the store or the bank. Maybe it has to do with where you live.

 

[A.Hidalgo]

I hardly think so I speak fluent Spanish not a gringo who learned Spanish. I am 50% Latino my grandfather came from Spain and my grandmother from Cuba. Grew up in a Latin household where the only gringo was my father. I have lived all over the D.R. yes there are good people but in general they are rude and self-center.

Yes I agree....deeply ingrained cynicism.gre:

 

[A.Hidalgo]

Just in case to clarify my previous post, I am not referring to the Dominican people.

 

[2parrotheads]

For instance, I go right to the beginning of the line most of the time ... and nobody gives me dirty looks or says anything - it's expected and nobody takes it personally.

Chip00, I'm glad you brought this up. Please explain why this is expected, or maybe I should say not unexpected. I have experienced it occasionally (usually at the airport) and I really am clueless as to why it is considered okay. Those of us who were brought up to wait your turn will still be waiting, I guess!

 

[Chip00]

Just in case to clarify my previous post, I am not referring to the Dominican people.

Como va ese cancion? "...que cante bingo!" :glasses:

 

[kfrancis]

Observation from the Frontier !

Hola mi amigos, que tal .

Interesting thread and comments.

In an attempt to try to keep this Observation in line with this discussion and have you understand why I am questioning some of the thought processes, I will focus on only ONE action.

LINE CUTTING

If I remember correctly within this thread we have had:

Dominicans cut in line, " ahead of me "

" I cut to the head of the line ' all the time ', no one questions me ! ( loose paraphrasing ) I take it also from a non Dominican.

My Observation:

In the first instance I would take it that the offending Dominican ALSO cut in line in front of other DOMINICANS as well as the offended commentor.

In the second, it is obvious that the commentor does feel " something " over the others in the line and justifies it based on the first mentioned action as the " status quo ".

Does not anyone think, for one moment, that the OTHER DOMINICANS in that line are not ALSO OFFENDED by these actions.

I have been in the bank ATM line and had folks cut the line or even worse get to the machine and proceed to pull out a stack of cards to process.

When confronted with this situation I usually step out from my place in line and and ask why the offending individual is doing IT.

At the same time I make it a point of asking the offending party ( in front of my other line companions ) " are not the OTHERS IN LINE THEIR friends and neighbors " and deserving of their position and time spent in the line.

Have yet not had the majority of those being by " passed by " give the offender a good " hard look " and if there were any older ladies in the crowd a good verbal questioning as well.

If the offender " machos " up they might hold their cut in place but usually the line will move right along without any more such intrusions.

For the " card processors " the counter action centers on getting the others in line to force a " limit ". IE. 2:1 seems to work here. Card processor get two ( 2 ), line moves one ( 1 ).

Not sure what happens after I finally move through but as leaving the line usually shows its appreciation for my actions.

My thoughts.

kFrancisco de Cabral

 

[A.Hidalgo]

Krancis

I applaud you. Changes come one line at a time. Well done.:cheeky:

 

[Chip00]

Hola mi amigos, que tal .

Interesting thread and comments.

In an attempt to try to keep this Observation in line with this discussion and have you understand why I am questioning some of the thought processes, I will focus on only ONE action.

LINE CUTTING

If I remember correctly within this thread we have had:

Dominicans cut in line, " ahead of me "

" I cut to the head of the line ' all the time ', no one questions me ! ( loose paraphrasing ) I take it also from a non Dominican.

My Observation:

In the first instance I would take it that the offending Dominican ALSO cut in line in front of other DOMINICANS as well as the offended commentor.

In the second, it is obvious that the commentor does feel " something " over the others in the line and justifies it based on the first mentioned action as the " status quo ".

Does not anyone think, for one moment, that the OTHER DOMINICANS in that line are not ALSO OFFENDED by these actions.

I have been in the bank ATM line and had folks cut the line or even worse get to the machine and proceed to pull out a stack of cards to process.

When confronted with this situation I usually step out from my place in line and and ask why the offending individual is doing IT.

At the same time I make it a point of asking the offending party ( in front of my other line companions ) " are not the OTHERS IN LINE THEIR friends and neighbors " and deserving of their position and time spent in the line.

Have yet not had the majority of those being by " passed by " give the offender a good " hard look " and if there were any older ladies in the crowd a good verbal questioning as well.

If the offender " machos " up they might hold their cut in place but usually the line will move right along without any more such intrusions.

For the " card processors " the counter action centers on getting the others in line to force a " limit ". IE. 2:1 seems to work here. Card processor get two ( 2 ), line moves one ( 1 ).

Not sure what happens after I finally move through but as leaving the line usually shows its appreciation for my actions.

My thoughts.

kFrancisco de Cabral

Clarification - I only try to go to the front at the colmado. Stand their waiting in line and see if you get served before December!

 

[suarezn]

Funny how people can have such radically different experiences (i.e. Chip and Capt Rob.). I dare bet it has a lot to do with attitude and how you treat others...

 

[Lambada]

Yes I agree....deeply ingrained cynicism.gre:

But always it says more about the poster, than the people being posted about, doesn't it? When I see things like 'in general they are rude and self centred' I think I must have an inbuilt gereralisationomometer which goes pinging off. Frankly I get very very tired of generalisations like that and tempted to give them the attention they deserve i.e. ignore them. But I don't feel I can, since if we all did that it would just leave the 'rude and self-centred' poster boys shouting the loudest. So, this is Lambada registering her protest.

 

[Chris]

Figure out what you are doing! Don't figure out the line and who is first, figure out who is 'main' in the line. Sometimes, the folks coming to the colmado are way ahead of you in stature. This is not a democracy where all pigs are equal. Here, some pigs are more equal than others.

Figure that out, and you've got it made. Stand around a little and once you have that figured out, someone will serve you with grace and fortitude. Even if you don't know what you want. Lambada is registering a protest. I'll say it more clearly. All of you that worry about the line in the colmado simply do not know your place in this society and have a long way to go.... My colmado serves me first... but will stop serving me and serve someone else quickly. Why is that? Figure it out...

 

[Lambada]

Why is that? Figure it out...

I never knew you and Margarita Cede?o used the same colmado..........

 

[BushBaby]

When we first came here the 'Line Jumping', wanting 'immediate attention' used to bother me too. I am a Brit & we are noted (or WERE about 30 years ago) as being qualified 'Line Waiters', so I was just not used to standing by & letting things like queue jumping happen without a comment (or two or three!!).

Being the 'New Boy in Town' & unsure of myself in this new environment, I allowed the 'Line Jumping' to go un-admonished - so did all the Dominicans around me. This lasted for about 3 years but when I had learned enough Spanish (& had got sufficient savvy to understand why the Dominicans around me in the queues were so forgiving), I started to challenge the queue jumpers with a bit of sharp wit - WoWWW!!!! Did the Dominicans in line around me join in the fun & humour to reprimand the offender?! It was all done in the most jocular way & so that offense (Latin Machismo) could not be taken & the queue jumper gladly trundled to the rear of the line or out of the door/queue!!

This produced a new sort of 'VIEW' on this Gringo - so much so that I rarely have problems with queue jumpers in places where I am a regular. There is always a ready banter with line dwellers too so time waiting passes much more quickly with friends around me!

Relax CaptRob. Let all the Latin Genes come to the fore; let the Manana syndrome wash over you; be as empathic & laid back as all those Dominicans waiting in line with you .............. OR, say something scathing (but in a friendly, lighthearted manner) to the offending line jumper & let your Dominican friends in line follow YOUR lead in relegating the offending person to the rear of the line!!

Just as a thought - if more Dominicans in line put UP with these queue jumpers rather than queue jump themselves, does this not make the majority genial & forgiving rather than the "ME FIRST" brigade ???? ~ Grahame.

 

[BushBaby]

..........
My colmado serves me first... but will stop serving me and serve someone else quickly. Why is that? Figure it out...

Simple ..... one of three reasons:-
1) You have shown over the years that you are a Gringa business woman in a hurry & need to be back at work quickly,
2) You have proved to be quick & easy to serve because you KNOW what you want & will ask quickly & precisely for what you want (& have a reserve in mind if that is not available),
3) You are a pain in the arse to them & they want you out of there as quickly as possible ............. :cheeky:

I use all three systems on different occasions depending on what is happening in the store that day. I always make time to leave with a smile & try to ensure the checkout girl/store owner has the same on her/his face!! ~ Grahame.

 

[Squat]

As of cutting lines, I must admit that I quickly learned to act the "rude dominican" way, but when I think about it, it is sad to have to copy those bad behaviour... It's kind of the wild west whenever there's a line, and I am now the first to behave like a "tiguere"... The fittest will survive... But I was raised in the respect of others, and it hurts somehow to behave like to rude people...