- Thread starter angel2fire
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Dominican Men, good looking, but good boyfriends????
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Fine, many Dominican men treat women as property. I must clarify that I have dated a few Dominican men, and promptly ended the relationships over lack of a mutual understanding, ie, I am a human being with my own beliefs and personality and feelings, not a thing. I made one big mistake and married a Dominican man. After 5 years I divorced him when I became convinced that his habit of picking up women was not going to end because of our marriage. I was right, he is still practicing the habit of picking up women even though he is married again (for the 3rd time). I am on a friendly basis with many Dominican men. My father is Dominican, I was raised in the Dominican Republic, most of my cousins are Dominican men and the cousins who are female are married to Dominican men. I can say I know of about 300 Dominican guys, among friends, friends' husbands, cousins, uncles and finally ex boyfriends and an ex husband. Of all of these, I know of only two who have not been unfaithful to their wives, and of the two only one does not treat her as property but as an equal partner.
I am currently married to a wonderful gringo who shares my views. Cheating is not exclusive of the Dominican Republic, nor of Latin America for that, but it is one of the few places where it is not only condoned, it is expected! My husband and I just got back from a trip to the DR, his first, and he was pretty amazed at the interaction between men and women and could not understand why the women put up with it. I think that my explanation summarized it pretty well, it is a part of the culture. It is very normal, expected and proper for a guy to do these things. When we were last in the DR my father, some cousins (I did not see everyone), and some male friends kept pushing my son (17 years old) to drink and go out and find himself some _____ - you fill in the blanks. In the meantime, my son was trying to (in his words) stay true to his latest girlfriend in NY, where we live. For this he is now labeled a Ma___con. As you can see, I have some pretty strong reasons for believing that Dominican men do not and will not respect women as equals for the near future. Oh, and by the way the sampling of people I know belong to upper-middle class, well educated people. I am fond of all and love many of them. I respect their traditions, but I will not be a willing participant. I advised this girl to RUN, because as confused as she sounded, she probably was not aware of these customs and the fact that she was not going to change this guy.
It is not critisism, who am I after all to belittle an entire culture. It is just my opinion on that culture. Since I have that opinion and the chances of my having met a Dominican man who did not follow his culture pretty slim, I swore off Dominican men and found my gringo.
Miguel, since you are so offended by my opinion, I guess you are one of a few and my hat goes off to you! Ole man!
I am currently married to a wonderful gringo who shares my views. Cheating is not exclusive of the Dominican Republic, nor of Latin America for that, but it is one of the few places where it is not only condoned, it is expected! My husband and I just got back from a trip to the DR, his first, and he was pretty amazed at the interaction between men and women and could not understand why the women put up with it. I think that my explanation summarized it pretty well, it is a part of the culture. It is very normal, expected and proper for a guy to do these things. When we were last in the DR my father, some cousins (I did not see everyone), and some male friends kept pushing my son (17 years old) to drink and go out and find himself some _____ - you fill in the blanks. In the meantime, my son was trying to (in his words) stay true to his latest girlfriend in NY, where we live. For this he is now labeled a Ma___con. As you can see, I have some pretty strong reasons for believing that Dominican men do not and will not respect women as equals for the near future. Oh, and by the way the sampling of people I know belong to upper-middle class, well educated people. I am fond of all and love many of them. I respect their traditions, but I will not be a willing participant. I advised this girl to RUN, because as confused as she sounded, she probably was not aware of these customs and the fact that she was not going to change this guy.
It is not critisism, who am I after all to belittle an entire culture. It is just my opinion on that culture. Since I have that opinion and the chances of my having met a Dominican man who did not follow his culture pretty slim, I swore off Dominican men and found my gringo.
Miguel, since you are so offended by my opinion, I guess you are one of a few and my hat goes off to you! Ole man!
Something rotten in Denmark
I don't believe this poster, something doesn't feel right. Just keep asking questions, she'll get caught up in her tales sooner or later.
Smooches.. Clip.
I don't believe this poster, something doesn't feel right. Just keep asking questions, she'll get caught up in her tales sooner or later.
Smooches.. Clip.
this has NOTHING to do.....
with him being dominican and everything to do with you letting him take advantage.....
Listen, don't fall for that BS about it's my culture. A man is a man is a man and if you allow for this kind of treatment towards u, not only will a dominican man do it, but so will a puerto rican, an indian, a mexican, an italian....careful, a chick will do it to you too.......get it? It's all about what you allow.....
Why are you even ASKING if its a culture thing? what if it was? would it excuse his behaviour and you would stick around?
Come on, get the F*CK outta there...I'm sure you won't, but TRY and run like hell...this guys a d*ck head....or wait, maybe he's not the bad guy....he's just doing what your allowing him to do......
why do women ask these F*cking stupid questions....if you dont like the treatment then bounce the hell outta there, no bad behaviour should be excused....
with him being dominican and everything to do with you letting him take advantage.....
Listen, don't fall for that BS about it's my culture. A man is a man is a man and if you allow for this kind of treatment towards u, not only will a dominican man do it, but so will a puerto rican, an indian, a mexican, an italian....careful, a chick will do it to you too.......get it? It's all about what you allow.....
Why are you even ASKING if its a culture thing? what if it was? would it excuse his behaviour and you would stick around?
Come on, get the F*CK outta there...I'm sure you won't, but TRY and run like hell...this guys a d*ck head....or wait, maybe he's not the bad guy....he's just doing what your allowing him to do......
why do women ask these F*cking stupid questions....if you dont like the treatment then bounce the hell outta there, no bad behaviour should be excused....
I don't want to upset you Angel2fire but here goes...
How, and I mean HOW can you be in Harvard and have so many spelling mistakes and grammatical errors?
I know someone will attack me for this, but for the life of me, I would just expect someone with the intelligence that is required to become a doctor and the high standards of Harvard to at least know how to spell correctly as well as speak proper grammer.
As they say - anybody can be anybody on the internet!!!!
Now, I have to go back to the lab and continue working on my latest rocket ship. LOL
Marlie
How, and I mean HOW can you be in Harvard and have so many spelling mistakes and grammatical errors?
I know someone will attack me for this, but for the life of me, I would just expect someone with the intelligence that is required to become a doctor and the high standards of Harvard to at least know how to spell correctly as well as speak proper grammer.
As they say - anybody can be anybody on the internet!!!!
Now, I have to go back to the lab and continue working on my latest rocket ship. LOL
Marlie
Nothing is more charming and attentive than a Dominican Man...
...that wants to get in a woman's pants! He gives her 100%! She thinks she is the only woman in the world for this man,and that he loves her more than Life it'self! Once he gets in her pants,things soon begin to cool off! He gives her less and less of his time,and he is making a transition to his next target!The woman does not even have to be that great looking! If she is a "Rubia",she can even be pretty fat and be acceptable!That blond hair and white drive most Dominican men "Loco"!Sooooooooooooooooo if your man has been screwing you for a few months,your time is drawing to a close! He will still see you when he needs a sure piece of ***,but you are on your way out! cris Colon
...that wants to get in a woman's pants! He gives her 100%! She thinks she is the only woman in the world for this man,and that he loves her more than Life it'self! Once he gets in her pants,things soon begin to cool off! He gives her less and less of his time,and he is making a transition to his next target!The woman does not even have to be that great looking! If she is a "Rubia",she can even be pretty fat and be acceptable!That blond hair and white drive most Dominican men "Loco"!Sooooooooooooooooo if your man has been screwing you for a few months,your time is drawing to a close! He will still see you when he needs a sure piece of ***,but you are on your way out! cris Colon
...a parents perspective...
Dear Angel2fire (and or any young women),
This thread is dedicated to giving advice and providing the much needed perspective of people living in the DR when it comes to relationships (both short and long term). All of the posters are people who have unique perspectives and truly use this forum to help you in your decision making. Some will be harsh for good reason, some will be kind for the same good reason, please understand that the good reason is to convey an understanding that all these people want you to be safe and secure.
As a parent I have the highest hope for my children and project these hopes towards her peers. I give my advice freely to you as I would to my daughter and her friends in the hopes that you will make safe decisions for your future.
Please know that your parents are helping you get the best education possible and that this education at this time in your life should be your primary focus. Although school can be very demanding and lonely at times, remember your family can and will be there to stem the flow of loneliness, and a call home or a visit to them will help you through your personal delemas with your current boyfriend. Boyfriends will come and go, but your education will be the mainstay for your future.
Please consider the importance of your health and wellbeing as prize possesions. You are valued as a citizen and as a future professional and will be judged by your acomplishments in the future. The present is one of massive changes and huge learning lessons on relationships, sexuality,personal growth, taking chances,and learning from mistakes. Please know that your future ultimately rest on the structure of your health and well being (your safety net) without which you will never be able to fully experience all life will be able to give you. Be careful,use good judgement, be self respecting and pace yourself and your future will be richer for it.
Do on to others... as they will do onto you. Your life may be at the cross roads right now and confusing emotions may be clouding good judgement. But walk a mile in the other persons shoes. The people of this forum of discussion have seen countless victims at the hand of perposefully preditory people looking to make a notch on the bedpost or a new sourse of revenue. In some cases they have even had to rescue people from dangerous situations. They are and do live in the real DR and speak from experience. There are those who also have had wonderful and fulfilling experiences and relationships and thier advice is always gladly recieved. Take some time to digest the information given, discuss this with family, or a guidance councillor at your school and personally reach constructive conclusions as to how this relationship can, has or will effected your future. You will find that after some thought and time your self respect is the most important product of your soul, and how you are treated is the berometor for how you treat others.
Lastly, let me just say that change in all forms is the only constant in this world. You have a long and productive life ahead of you,are in the process of collectiing experiences to help you make long standing decisions. Give yourself some time to develop in school, and learn from your present and past life lessons and you will eventually be in proper form to committ to any change or relationship that will be gratifying and healthy.
Best of luck in the future and move forward with every change in life.
Toby
Dear Angel2fire (and or any young women),
This thread is dedicated to giving advice and providing the much needed perspective of people living in the DR when it comes to relationships (both short and long term). All of the posters are people who have unique perspectives and truly use this forum to help you in your decision making. Some will be harsh for good reason, some will be kind for the same good reason, please understand that the good reason is to convey an understanding that all these people want you to be safe and secure.
As a parent I have the highest hope for my children and project these hopes towards her peers. I give my advice freely to you as I would to my daughter and her friends in the hopes that you will make safe decisions for your future.
Please know that your parents are helping you get the best education possible and that this education at this time in your life should be your primary focus. Although school can be very demanding and lonely at times, remember your family can and will be there to stem the flow of loneliness, and a call home or a visit to them will help you through your personal delemas with your current boyfriend. Boyfriends will come and go, but your education will be the mainstay for your future.
Please consider the importance of your health and wellbeing as prize possesions. You are valued as a citizen and as a future professional and will be judged by your acomplishments in the future. The present is one of massive changes and huge learning lessons on relationships, sexuality,personal growth, taking chances,and learning from mistakes. Please know that your future ultimately rest on the structure of your health and well being (your safety net) without which you will never be able to fully experience all life will be able to give you. Be careful,use good judgement, be self respecting and pace yourself and your future will be richer for it.
Do on to others... as they will do onto you. Your life may be at the cross roads right now and confusing emotions may be clouding good judgement. But walk a mile in the other persons shoes. The people of this forum of discussion have seen countless victims at the hand of perposefully preditory people looking to make a notch on the bedpost or a new sourse of revenue. In some cases they have even had to rescue people from dangerous situations. They are and do live in the real DR and speak from experience. There are those who also have had wonderful and fulfilling experiences and relationships and thier advice is always gladly recieved. Take some time to digest the information given, discuss this with family, or a guidance councillor at your school and personally reach constructive conclusions as to how this relationship can, has or will effected your future. You will find that after some thought and time your self respect is the most important product of your soul, and how you are treated is the berometor for how you treat others.
Lastly, let me just say that change in all forms is the only constant in this world. You have a long and productive life ahead of you,are in the process of collectiing experiences to help you make long standing decisions. Give yourself some time to develop in school, and learn from your present and past life lessons and you will eventually be in proper form to committ to any change or relationship that will be gratifying and healthy.
Best of luck in the future and move forward with every change in life.
Toby
Listen love!!!
All that I was trying to say is that if you let a person walk all over you, if you stay with him, you are worse than him. If he was treating her badly, whether he was dominican for from the moon, she should leave him. I know of other cultures where the men are even worse than dominican but to each their own. For me to say that 99.9% of dominicans are alike, that would be making an assumption and you know what happens when one assumes. For every dominican that you say that are bad, I know of one that is good. I know that many dominicans are jack axxes, are you willing to tell me that some dominican females are not doing the same as the dominican males?. The ones you know are like and some that I know are also like that, but I would not say that 99.9% of them are bad since I don't know that whole 9,000,000.00 of the island habitants. Again, you are being disrepected, demand respect and if you don't get it, get that hell out. That's all I am saying. See, that your husband is a good man, good for you. You demanded respect and when you did not get it, you moved on. Like the saying goes " no metas tus manos en candela por nadie". Don't you think that respect should be demanded when you think that someone is treating you like dirt?.Klugla said:
University Degree
Well, to fall for a sankie, she need not have a university degree.
But from all I know, it sure helps.
M?frog
Well, to fall for a sankie, she need not have a university degree.
But from all I know, it sure helps.
M?frog
Naguagirl, you?d be surprised.
We happen to know an apparently successful sankie operating here in Las Terrenas.
He has "done" 11 victims so far and is currently feasting on two.
I could break down this number in nationalities and education level.
You?d be surprised, Amber.
M?frog
We happen to know an apparently successful sankie operating here in Las Terrenas.
He has "done" 11 victims so far and is currently feasting on two.
I could break down this number in nationalities and education level.
You?d be surprised, Amber.
M?frog
lol
Yep, I do tend to lose my temper sweetie
About sankies, Frog, you may not know this, but I know quite a few declared and undeclared ones and I've heard some stomach turning boasting about their operating modes. But the problem here isn't sankies.
My dear girl, you are getting worked over by a US based Dominican, which surprises me since I have found that Dominican men raised abroad seem to have a SLIGHTLY better behavior towards women. I was married for 15 years to a Domican, born and bred in Nagua and spent most of that time in absolute culture shock, having been raised in the US away from other Dominicans myself. It seems that not even living here for nine years helped the matter any. The man you have described fits the description of some Dominican men I know who have lived outside of the DR, but have never and will never let go of their he-man player attitudes. Not to say that men from other cultures can be just as bad, but your problem right now is recognizing that the way he is treating you isn't acceptable coming from ANY man. Value yourself. It's better to be alone than in bad company. :bandit:
Yep, I do tend to lose my temper sweetie
About sankies, Frog, you may not know this, but I know quite a few declared and undeclared ones and I've heard some stomach turning boasting about their operating modes. But the problem here isn't sankies.
My dear girl, you are getting worked over by a US based Dominican, which surprises me since I have found that Dominican men raised abroad seem to have a SLIGHTLY better behavior towards women. I was married for 15 years to a Domican, born and bred in Nagua and spent most of that time in absolute culture shock, having been raised in the US away from other Dominicans myself. It seems that not even living here for nine years helped the matter any. The man you have described fits the description of some Dominican men I know who have lived outside of the DR, but have never and will never let go of their he-man player attitudes. Not to say that men from other cultures can be just as bad, but your problem right now is recognizing that the way he is treating you isn't acceptable coming from ANY man. Value yourself. It's better to be alone than in bad company. :bandit:
angel2fire said:
First of all intellect has nothing to do with matters of the heart.There is no rhyme or reason to why you fall for one person over the other.Everyone makes mistakes.The important thing is to know that you can learn from even your worst mistakes. All guys have the ability to be as good as gold in the beginning and then turn once they think they've got you but it does seem to me that Dominican guys are more talented at it.Cultural or not if it's not what you want for your life you shouldn't accept it.You are right, you do have more to bring to a relationship than sex.No one should be telling you what you should and should not do. It's ok for him to say I like it when........but it's not ok to insist that it be a certain way.I am happy to hear that you dumped him I just hope he doesn't sweet talk his way back into your life.Good luck with your studies and hopefully you'll find a guy that's right for you.
I agree with callik...education/intilect and common sense are 2 very different things. First of all, it takes great maturity to establish a lasting relationship, even in a situation where the couple are from a similar culture. When taking 2 people from different backgrounds/cultures completely, it will take an exceptional level of maturity, understanding, trust, mutual love (that is, without jealousy and posessiveness), and I also believe a good amount of experience that comes with age. In other words, this type of relationship is not for beginners.
Furthermore, if you feel you have the qualifications but your prospective partner does not exhibit these traits, frankly, you are wasting your time.
Furthermore, if you feel you have the qualifications but your prospective partner does not exhibit these traits, frankly, you are wasting your time.
Everyone is forgetting one very important thing....
GREAT DAMN SEX!!!!
i dont care what anyone says....u can be head over heels for someone, then u hit the sack and they dont so much as cause a tremor in your world :bored: , ur attitude changes......
i dont wanna hear the "theres more important things then sex and true love over comes blah blah and u can teach them trick blah blah blah lbah"
good sex good sex!!
GREAT DAMN SEX!!!!
i dont care what anyone says....u can be head over heels for someone, then u hit the sack and they dont so much as cause a tremor in your world :bored: , ur attitude changes......
i dont wanna hear the "theres more important things then sex and true love over comes blah blah and u can teach them trick blah blah blah lbah"
good sex good sex!!
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