Dominican women and cheating

[SKing]

Ummmm...let me see....my daughter is 17 so I guess she should be already doing this "acting out" right? Because all of them are going to do it because mommy is dysfunctional right?
Let's see, over half of her classes AP. So many high school credits she could graduate NOW. Same boyfriend since 10th grade. Never a drug or alcohol problem, tutors illegal Hispanic children twice a week ESL, works her job at Outback once a week for her spending money.....God let me call Dr. Phil!!
And if I do go out please tell me how 3 children under the age of 11 know when they are all asleep by 10pm (usually 9) and I'm out at midnight, back by 4am and I'm trying to wake their asses up at 9am to eat breakfast.
Wow....I really need help. How will I ever get them to forgive me???

SHALENA

 

[SKing]

pretty clear who you mean, shalana, like it's not transparent. Real classy. Does "that person" talk sh!t about you?
definitely
i don't recall i ever called anyone "god's gift to parenting." that doesn't mean i don't admire what they do, because i do. Men (the generic "humankind" men for the uber-pc crowd), as i have repeatedly said, are flawed. Some more than others. Some less than others.

My dad used to tell me: "son, if you want to see what a girl will become, just look at her mother." after 59 years of observation, i can say he's right. Again. Same holds true for fathers. My solid male friends have solid kids. My dysfunctional male friends largely have dysfunctional kids.

Funny how it works that way. Amazing.:cheeky:

And after hiring thousands of rns, lpns, hhas, msw, pts, etc, over the years, i could write a book about high-functioning codependants and their children.

shalena

 

[Acira]

Perfect example-there is a Dominican in my building who by all external accounts appears to be the perfect family man. Goes to work, comes home, provides for his family-"un hombre serio" as Dominicans say. Two years ago his daughter developed into a young woman and all she does is prance about in the most ridiculous hoochie outfits I've ever seen. Her boyfriend is the prototypical teenage jag-off who is allowed to visit her home wearing his pants so low every bit of his underwear shows.

If this cat were any type of father he wouldn't allow this. He lives under the same roof as his kids but apparently has no control over this, or he sees nothing wrong with it. When there are no standards at home, kids gravitate to whatever will garner them the most attention for the least amount of effort. This is especially true of young girls, whose self-esteem issues always play themselves out in a sexual fashion.

Sometimes it's not always about the example one sets as a parent, but of the example one fails to project.

Do you have a family Berzin? Do you know anything about young girls?
I do, I have a 14 old stepdaughter who goes around wearing sweaters with the logo BITCH written on it. Its called fashion and being part of a group which if I remember correctly from my own childhood was something you just wanted, you wanted to belong to a group, you did not want to be an outsider. For sure she is told not to wear that in the house and she respects that but equally I know that she has one stacked away at some of her friends and puts it on as soon as you drop her off at school...just for 5 minutes because school doesn't allow it either but after school and in weekends when visiting friends, she will wear it.

 

[Tamborista]

Do you have a family Berzin? Do you know anything about young girls?
I do, I have a 14 old stepdaughter who goes around wearing sweaters with the logo BITCH written on it. Its called fashion and for sure if she is told not to wear that in the house, she doesn't but equally I know that she has one stacked away at some of her friends and puts it on as soon as you drop her off at school...just for 5 minutes because school doesn't allow it either but after school and in weekends when visiting friends, she will wear it.

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Berzin]

Ummmm...let me see....my daughter is 17 so I guess she should be already doing this "acting out" right? Because all of them are going to do it because mommy is dysfunctional right?
Let's see, over half of her classes AP. So many high school credits she could graduate NOW. Same boyfriend since 10th grade. Never a drug or alcohol problem, tutors illegal Hispanic children twice a week ESL, works her job at Outback once a week for her spending money.....God let me call Dr. Phil!!
And if I do go out please tell me how 3 children under the age of 11 know when they are all asleep by 10pm (usually 9) and I'm out at midnight, back by 4am and I'm trying to wake their asses up at 9am to eat breakfast.
Wow....I really need help. How will I ever get them to forgive me???

SHALENA

Did you miss this part of my post?

Funny how fast people forget what it was like to be children, and I'm speaking in general here so please no one take any particular offense.

I wasn't talking about your specific situation, but of the topic in general. The example I used was one I am familiar with and see every day, which is different than yours.

Do you have a family Berzin? Do you know anything about young girls?

Like I said, parenthood, or in this case pseudo-parenthood, is the last bastion of the self-righteous. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you know what you're doing. It's obvious from the way kids are raised many parents don't have a clue, and judging from the defensive nature of some of the responses it is offensive to some people to hear an opposing point of view on the subject.

 

[SKing]

And I was not answering you in particular

SHALENA

P S. I, of all people, welcome opposing views but laugh when those who have no children or do not physically live with them, seem to know everything there is to know about child psychology and development....it boggles the mind.

 

[Acira]

Did you miss this part of my post?



I wasn't talking about your specific situation, but of the topic in general. The example I used was one I am familiar with and see every day, which is different than yours.



Like I said, parenthood, or in this case pseudo-parenthood, is the last bastion of the self-righteous. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you know what you're doing. It's obvious from the way kids are raised many parents don't have a clue, and judging from the defensive nature of some of the responses it is offensive to some people to hear an opposing point of view on the subject.

Pseudo parenthood...where do you get it :disappoin

 

[RacerX]

I just saw another thread and like I said.....
I would KILL myself

SHALENA

This guys major beef is trying to put a square peg in a round hole and when it doesnt fit he goes to customer service and says these parts are "dysfunctional". Alternate realities say that every piece has different but just as useful purpose.

 

[RacerX]

Ummmm...let me see....my daughter is 17 so I guess she should be already doing this "acting out" right? Because all of them are going to do it because mommy is dysfunctional right?
Let's see, over half of her classes AP. So many high school credits she could graduate NOW. Same boyfriend since 10th grade. Never a drug or alcohol problem, tutors illegal Hispanic children twice a week ESL, works her job at Outback once a week for her spending money.....God let me call Dr. Phil!!
And if I do go out please tell me how 3 children under the age of 11 know when they are all asleep by 10pm (usually 9) and I'm out at midnight, back by 4am and I'm trying to wake their asses up at 9am to eat breakfast.
Wow....I really need help. How will I ever get them to forgive me???

SHALENA

Why would they need to forgive you?

 

[RacerX]

Ummmm...let me see....my daughter is 17 so I guess she should be already doing this "acting out" right? Because all of them are going to do it because mommy is dysfunctional right?
Let's see, over half of her classes AP. So many high school credits she could graduate NOW. Same boyfriend since 10th grade. Never a drug or alcohol problem, tutors illegal Hispanic children twice a week ESL, works her job at Outback once a week for her spending money.....God let me call Dr. Phil!!
And if I do go out please tell me how 3 children under the age of 11 know when they are all asleep by 10pm (usually 9) and I'm out at midnight, back by 4am and I'm trying to wake their asses up at 9am to eat breakfast.
Wow....I really need help. How will I ever get them to forgive me???

SHALENA

Can anyone state with a certainty that these children havent learned adaptive concepts to construct, and manage interpersonal relationships? Of course that would appear to be "dysfunctional" if a self-proclaimed authority on child rearing(with complementary books to sell and seminars to book) told you that "looks wrong because it is not what the other guy is doing. By the way, his kids are successes because..." You cant trust any such inferences to those conclusions. The lop-sided 'War on Drugs' is proof of that.

But another way of looking at the issue is that the "functional way" must not be that relevant because people abandoning the patterns and practices it adheres to. You flee a house when its burning down. Could also be why people depart from middle America no-man's-lands to establish themselves in self-contained universes like NY, Miami, LA, New Orleans, SF, etc. They couldnt function in that environment so they sought another one, a subjectively better one where they function better.

 

[greydread]

Pardon ,my SPELLING, Iam Just ANGRY............MY UNCLE Live in CapeTown South AFRICA, He Speack AFRIKAANS, Not Netherland?

This is why we should never post ANGRY ... or DRUNK.

The percentages of how much of this and 16% of that have nothing to do with the kind of people you are. I just met a guy visiting Santo Domingo from the Netherlands (Rotterdam). The guy is of Turkish descent and is Muslim and is a single Dad with a babymomma from Surinam who is using his kid in a game of emotional ping pong. This guy became an instant friend when I saw what was in his eyes when he spoke of his Son and beamed at his pictures. He's a hard working guy who isdealing with a set of circumstances outside of his control. If that makes him "dysfunctional" then welcome to the club. My advice, keep your head up, cherish every moment with your kid and keep doing what you do. Work hard and spend less time telling your Son how to be a Man than you spend showing him how to be a Man. He's going to meet my Son (his age) on our next trip.

This World is big enough for all of us and one person's idea of "dysfunction" is the next person's idea of normalcy. I haven't had the pleasure of ever meeting any "normal" people in almost 57 years in this life. Everybody has something about them that the next person is going to consider abnormal so I try to save the judgements for myself. It's the only place they'll do any good anyway. It's been my experience that the people pointing fingers the quickest are also the ones with the most bones in their closets.

 

[SKing]

It's been my experience that the people pointing fingers the quickest are also the ones with the most bones in their closets.

Wow.....I could not have said it better myself.

SHALENA

 

[Berzin]

Exactly, Greydread. But parenting is one of those hot-button, third-rail type issues that denigrates into the cesspool of misunderstanding we have before us.

Part of being an open-minded person is the ability to take the experiences and words of others to broaden one's horizons. Acira immediately made the assumption that I don't have kids, as if that makes anything I wrote any less valid. Whenever I get this response, I laugh to myself and simply say, "...if only they knew".

But since I don't live my life on the internet for all to see, she has no clue what my life experiences are. It's very easy to ascertain whether someone knows about what they speak or not. it's all in the elocution. And when someone gets defensive, I already know that whatever I write will be either misunderstood or disregarded.

 

[SKing]

On july 28 i Will be Going back to the contry ,i was borne. juan lopez, MOCA....AFROAMERICAN.... This Is Dominican Rep.We are no....NOT..NOT P C. Political correct,..16% White, 70% MULATO, yes Dominicans Knows That.WE Don Care?.........You AFROAmericans,You Look Haitians .for us....White American ,deal with your KIND. We don t have to ., don t believe me ,in Juan lopes i Got 200 Mulatos,they don t mind being called MULATOS., as long you don t CALL them. haitianos or Afroamericans...maybe ROBERT WILL ban ME, After yhis guy dnyel, the RACIST Against WHITE , Ever..........I am Dominican ., in1937... My Father Lef Gijon, ASTURIAS.....in 1940 .My Mother Lef HAARLEM.Netherland...I was Born in Moca , Ce s la vie.

Wow...I am very glad that you are Dominican. NEWS FLASH: You're just black to the rest of the world, my n*gga.

With that said, let's not turn this into a race thread, it has already gotten a little off topic.

I should not have worry about ANYTHING I say if this fool doesn't get banned for that nonsense......

SHALENA

 

[SKing]

Exactly, Greydread. But parenting is one of those hot-button, third-rail type issues that denigrates into the cesspool of misunderstanding we have before us.

Part of being an open-minded person is the ability to take the experiences and words of others to broaden one's horizons. Acira immediately made the assumption that I don't have kids, as if that makes anything I wrote any less valid. Whenever I get this response, I laugh to myself and simply say, "...if only they knew".

But since I don't live my life on the internet for all to see, she has no clue what my life experiences are. It's very easy to ascertain whether someone knows about what they speak or not. it's all in the elocution. And when someone gets defensive, I already know that whatever I write will be either misunderstood or disregarded.

I find it funny how folks straight degrade someone and then expect them not to be defensive. They put smiley faces on the ends of sentences or say "no one on particular" while they sit there and call you a piece of sh*t. And then if you dare to defend yourself they say "See!! If he/she really isn't a piece of sh*t, they wouldn't be getting upset!!"
Crazy

SHALENA

 

[RacerX]

Pardon ,my SPELLING, Iam Just ANGRY............MY UNCLE Live in CapeTown South AFRICA, He Speack AFRIKAANS, Not Netherland?

WTF!!!! Damn bro, enema perhaps? You sound hostile. Do you BEAT your eggs for breakfast?

 

[Tamborista]

Why does every MFing thread on this site evolve into a RACE riot?

 

[Mariot]

On july 28 i Will be Going back to the contry ,i was borne. juan lopez, MOCA....AFROAMERICAN.... This Is Dominican Rep.We are no....NOT..NOT P C. Political correct,..16% White, 70% MULATO, yes Dominicans Knows That.WE Don Care?.........You AFROAmericans,You Look Haitians .for us....White American ,deal with your KIND. We don t have to ., don t believe me ,in Juan lopes i Got 200 Mulatos,they don t mind being called MULATOS., as long you don t CALL them. haitianos or Afroamericans...maybe ROBERT WILL ban ME, After yhis guy dnyel, the RACIST Against WHITE , Ever..........I am Dominican ., in1937... My Father Lef Gijon, ASTURIAS.....in 1940 .My Mother Lef HAARLEM.Netherland...I was Born in Moca , Ce s la vie.

what?

 

[jrjrth]

I haven't had the pleasure of ever meeting any "normal" people in almost 57 years in this life.

Really ??What is the definition of "Normal"??...what might be normal to you is not normal to me and so on and so on.....

 

[greydread]

I haven't had the pleasure of ever meeting any "normal" people in almost 57 years in this life.

Really ??What is the definition of "Normal"??...what might be normal to you is not normal to me and so on and so on.....

Yah....I think that was my point. Thanks loads for clarifying it for me.

On "experience":

"Experience is not what happens to you. It's what you do with what happens to you"

-Aldous Huxley