- Thread starter Acira
- Start date
DR hand shaking etiquette
the dead fish thing
I am really glad that someone else termed it that because that is just the way I have felt after shaking hands with some people here... like... yeuch... Do You Not Know How to Shake Hands?
Why wpmen? Why do they not know how to shake hands? What is this?
I will not kiss someone I do not know upon first introduction. I only kiss people I like, call me unreasonable.
So I guess I will stop putting out my hand
because I really have gotten far too many of these dead fish here
yeuch
aranoid:
I am really glad that someone else termed it that because that is just the way I have felt after shaking hands with some people here... like... yeuch... Do You Not Know How to Shake Hands?
Why wpmen? Why do they not know how to shake hands? What is this?
I will not kiss someone I do not know upon first introduction. I only kiss people I like, call me unreasonable.
So I guess I will stop putting out my hand
because I really have gotten far too many of these dead fish here
yeuch
aranoid:I do not mind to give a soft hand to women here, its custom to do so, so I do it.
If a Dominican woman tends towards me to kiss me I kiss here back.
I have no problem with that at all and I consider it the polite and correct way to act.
With men, I do prefer my western firm handshake wether its for business or just to say Hi in passing by.
But I still did not get an answer what to do if a man puts his second hand on the handshake...what should I do with my second hand then?
If a Dominican woman tends towards me to kiss me I kiss here back.
I have no problem with that at all and I consider it the polite and correct way to act.
With men, I do prefer my western firm handshake wether its for business or just to say Hi in passing by.
But I still did not get an answer what to do if a man puts his second hand on the handshake...what should I do with my second hand then?
Cheek kisses for hello
Being in business for a long time, I'm a firm hand shaker. The past 5-6 years since we started distributing a European hair salon line , our customers are primarily Dominican salons, mostly women owned. I have never had one of them shake my hand unless I offered mine first - but after all these years I'm still a little uncomfortable with the fact that just about every Dominican woman who comes into my warehouse instantly kisses my cheek when I open the door, before they even step inside (we're not open to the public, so the door is locked). Some of them add a hug. One of them often puts her hand on my shoulder or head while I'm preparing her bill and blesses me in Jesus' name.
Definitely not the normal US business protocol
Being in business for a long time, I'm a firm hand shaker. The past 5-6 years since we started distributing a European hair salon line , our customers are primarily Dominican salons, mostly women owned. I have never had one of them shake my hand unless I offered mine first - but after all these years I'm still a little uncomfortable with the fact that just about every Dominican woman who comes into my warehouse instantly kisses my cheek when I open the door, before they even step inside (we're not open to the public, so the door is locked). Some of them add a hug. One of them often puts her hand on my shoulder or head while I'm preparing her bill and blesses me in Jesus' name.
Definitely not the normal US business protocol
Being in business for a long time, I'm a firm hand shaker. The past 5-6 years since we started distributing a European hair salon line , our customers are primarily Dominican salons, mostly women owned. I have never had one of them shake my hand unless I offered mine first - but after all these years I'm still a little uncomfortable with the fact that just about every Dominican woman who comes into my warehouse instantly kisses my cheek when I open the door, before they even step inside (we're not open to the public, so the door is locked). Some of them add a hug. One of them often puts her hand on my shoulder or head while I'm preparing her bill and blesses me in Jesus' name.
Definitely not the normal US business protocol
I don't know, I got a lot of hugging when in the States, Americans are famous for their hugging
So, I suppose that once on my way in my business I can prepare myself for more then a firm handshake then, more kisses and hugging :cheeky:
Both cultures I suppose. I am willing to adapt to the culture where I am living to a certain extend and I expect the same respect back for my background. But I am sure that I get more and sooner respect for mine if I show respect for the culture where I am living.
If I shake someones hand and they put the other hand on top of mine I usually just leave it at that. I never add my other hand to the mix.
Boundaries!!
Yes, I know that it is part of the culture here. When I first got to Las Terrenas, the maid brought her daughter to work with her and she, the daughter, who was about twenty, came right up to me and kissed me. But WOWOWOW wait, I am not Dominican. And they had no way of knowing, since I was in a weekly rental.... of whether or not I was planning to adapt and reside....
ok. now. i am not going to break down my years of anglo saxon puritan stuff for this one....
middle ground...
I personally am not going around kissing OR hugging people that I do not know.
If we have met a few times, AND if I like you, AND if we have a GENUINE affection for one another, THEN we kiss.
I think that this whole training of women to kiss ... well ... it is how women are trained here......
like the way they have the teenage girls doing the pelvic thrusts in the parades..... I mean... we could use JUST a little more modesty, Ladies.....
and we can go on and on with that one
folds up soap box, exit stage left
Yes, I know that it is part of the culture here. When I first got to Las Terrenas, the maid brought her daughter to work with her and she, the daughter, who was about twenty, came right up to me and kissed me. But WOWOWOW wait, I am not Dominican. And they had no way of knowing, since I was in a weekly rental.... of whether or not I was planning to adapt and reside....
ok. now. i am not going to break down my years of anglo saxon puritan stuff for this one....
middle ground...
I personally am not going around kissing OR hugging people that I do not know.
If we have met a few times, AND if I like you, AND if we have a GENUINE affection for one another, THEN we kiss.
I think that this whole training of women to kiss ... well ... it is how women are trained here......
like the way they have the teenage girls doing the pelvic thrusts in the parades..... I mean... we could use JUST a little more modesty, Ladies.....
and we can go on and on with that one
folds up soap box, exit stage left
A lot of people seem to "hang" on to what they are custom to from wherever they come from originaly but I tend to lean more to learning to get around where I live and try to do that by understanding as much as possible of the local customs.
Still no descent answer to my question...
Still no descent answer to my question...
So, you want an iron-clad, no variance, non-negotiable, bullet-proof, and steadfast rule that will carry through any situation, despite any number of variables, which might come into play?
Good luck with that.
Sometimes it is simply wiser, and more efficient, to assess circumstances as they arise.
Good luck with that.
Sometimes it is simply wiser, and more efficient, to assess circumstances as they arise.
Exactly.
My observations:
A polite handshake is the norm.
A firm and double handshake is respect and a sincere, personal greeting.
Man hugs and wimminzes cheek-to-cheek kisses are total acceptance. Don't return/accept them at the risk of insult.
Variance from these are a little patronizing.
It ain't Kansas, Toto...
Having travelled around the world for my job, visiting numerous continents and countries, I have learned one valuable lesson : regardless of which nationality you are or which country you are visiting...
It doesn't matter whether you are a visitor, someone doing business there, or a resident in that respective country, the same general rule applies : you are still a foreigner and it only shows respect to the inhabitants of the respective country to follow their rules of politiness...
So if you are in Vietnam and people bow to each other in greeting, it is only normal as a foreigner that you adapt to this custom. If you do not, you will only be considered as inpolite, and rightly so.
Hence my question about the hand shaking...and personally I feel and have experienced that no mather what nationality you are, or what reservations you might have because of your upbringing, it is only wise and polite to adapt to the local customs.
Adapting to local customs is one thing. Looking for quick and easy answers to complex social situations is quite another.
I hope you find the answer you are looking for, but as I said, "good luck with that."
I hope you find the answer you are looking for, but as I said, "good luck with that."
I do not think Acira is looking for a quick, perfect all-time solution...
She is just asking about the local customs, in order not to, by mistake, insult people of the Dominican Republic nationality, with whom she does business...
An answer to all possible situations, is of course not possible... but, as in every country I have ever visited, there are general rules...
So thanks, Cobraboy, for that answer, as it actually replies to the actual question...
And, guys and girls... you are living in the Dominican Republic... as visitor, resident, illegal alien (lol)... so, maybe respect the local customs... and that is what Acira was inquiring about...
:squareeye
She is just asking about the local customs, in order not to, by mistake, insult people of the Dominican Republic nationality, with whom she does business...
An answer to all possible situations, is of course not possible... but, as in every country I have ever visited, there are general rules...
So thanks, Cobraboy, for that answer, as it actually replies to the actual question...
And, guys and girls... you are living in the Dominican Republic... as visitor, resident, illegal alien (lol)... so, maybe respect the local customs... and that is what Acira was inquiring about...
:squareeye