DR1 members home burgled...again!

[laurajane]

Laura I have successful and professional Dominican friends who now live in Toronto who have told me the same frustrations about their 'own country' that you just mentioned, and that is why they have left and their friends and collegues have too or are planning to. Within the next year, 20 more couples/families are immigrating to Toronto. And these are not Dominicans who have to, due to financial reasons they, are tired of the negatives in their country and that is why they have left. That is what concerns me the most.
The sense of hopelessness about the future progress that these Dominicans have about their own country is not a good thing. If the people who are in a position to make and effect change in a country feel hopeless to the point they want to make an exodus, that is concerning but also telling.

I think it is important to talk about the realities of living in the DR, the good and the bad. So people are informed, who may be thinking about moving to paradise! Some people only want to talk about the good side or deflect the bad with a 'it happens everywhere and things are blown out of proportion'. Thats not true.

Thats interesting! I absoloutly dont want this thread to become a bashing or the DR as there are many things i fell in love with and my husband is a good man and my daughter is Dominican too. But i have to think with my head and NOT my heart!!

There are many things about the U.K i dislike, but over the last 5 years i have learned that many of these things are for a reason. I made a comment to one of the Mods here on dr1 a short while ago about what i thought were the best and worse things about living in the DR which made her laugh at its truthfulness.

1. The Best - The freedom to pretty much do as you please

2. The worst - Everyone around you also has the freedom to do pretty much as they please too!

What i dont want to do is place my husband in a enviroment where he would be unhappy also, Im just trying to do whats best for my family. Financially we would be better off here, but thats not the be all and end all to me.

 

[donP]

Priorities

Some people only want to talk about the good side or deflect the bad with a 'it happens everywhere_

$$$$$$$$$$$ beats truth. :tired:

 

[Freefallfatty]

Laura

I can see your dilemma and I can see how you must feel torn between two evils or maybe trying to find the balance that will not only help you but where you need the child to be brought up, and the environment she will be living within.
I myself am expecting to become a father this year and am also wondering how I deal with such things. As I would like my child to gain the best education and be screened off from such an aggressive and heartless lifestyle, yet I work out of the country I am torn between how to deal with things.
It is so much more complicated now i am understanding this country. And by that I mean buying a home and expecting her mother to make her a better life than she herself has had while I am away alot.
My ideal of taking them to Saudi with me seems as though it is not an option unless I marry and not something I want or would be prepared to do only because we are having a child together.
It looks as though I am going to have to be a long time frequenter and long distant part time farther, but I would prefer to get them a nicer area, somewhere to live away from all the corruption, and obviously it is a place I will live when not at work.
I still have yet to find this area in DR. I have been looking for a house for a little while now, but security with a social scene for her along with security in mind for me does not appear to be accessible anywhere in DR. It is almost as if people convince themselves they are living in a paradise that I can not see, far from it in reality.

 

[liam1]

When i first moved to DR for a while i was living under the impression that i was in paradise. Lack of paying attention to the world outside of my "happy-go-lucky" lifestyle, not reading about the crime reports, very limited knowledge of Spanish and so on were the reason for that illusion. I thought DR was the place i wanted to be for the rest of my life! Now that i am more aware, more mature, think about the future and what this country has to offer to my future children, i can not wait for my wife to get her visa so we can go to Canada and live there, and visit DR every 2-3 months. Lately i have so much disappointment in DR and the way things are done here, mostly the lawlessness and the lack of REAL government in place, unfortunately the people too, i am ready to leave. The "old-timers" were right; DR IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. I used to hate how in Canada everything is "controlled", now that "control" is what i miss the most.

 

[laurajane]

When i first moved to DR for a while i was living under the impression that i was in paradise. Lack of paying attention to the world outside of my "happy-go-lucky" lifestyle, not reading about the crime reports, very limited knowledge of Spanish and so on were the reason for that illusion. I thought DR was the place i wanted to be for the rest of my life! Now that i am more aware, more mature, think about the future and what this country has to offer to my future children, i can not wait for my wife to get her visa so we can go to Canada and live there, and visit DR every 2-3 months. Lately i have so much disappointment in DR and the way things are done here, mostly the lawlessness and the lack of REAL government in place, unfortunately the people too, i am ready to leave. The "old-timers" were right; DR IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. I used to hate how in Canada everything is "controlled", now that "control" is what i miss the most.

I totally understand, Many may question why i had a child if i had concerns or planned better. I waited a good few years into my relationship and till i was in a financial position to support a child well, but after you have a child your prorities change and you are no longer the important one.

The kind of business we have would not be as successful if doable in the U.K, and i worry Mr Lj would loose everything i love about him living in a controlled and unfamiliar place. I have thought about keeping our business here and visiting every three months or so and finding a manager to run things so we would still have an income.

Just the thought of being able to walk down the road on a pavement with out holes in to a park where i can feed the ducks with my little would be wonderful, something poeple who still live back home take for granted...something i used to take for granted. Knowing that if something bad does happen i can call the police with confidence or take my daughter to a doctor that i can trust.

Oh dear it seems i have alot of thinking to do and even more talking with Mr LJ.

 

[DOMINCAN JOE]

After get robbed twice have they thought about installing CTV
had mine done just over ?400 two infra red camera,s and a hard drive

 

[pedrochemical]

Please dont take this the wrong way

How many times when you were burgled in your home country was a knife put to your throat or a gun to your head?

How many times did you feel you could not call the police as it would be a waste of time and they would laugh in your face?

How many times was your wife or daughter assaulted during a burglary?

Dont get me wrong being burgled anywhere is a terrible experience, but here you better have something worth stealing or your life is on the line!

You make a fair point.
Life is cheap in the D.R. and sometimes brutal.
So where to live?
There are some undeveloped places round the Mediterranean that are less than a day's travel from England.
Seriously thinking about moving back to the Med myself.

Where is a good place to live in this world?

 

[Lambada]

1. The Best - The freedom to pretty much do as you please

2. The worst - Everyone around you also has the freedom to do pretty much as they please too!

Laura, these are classic! Very well put.

Wish you well, whatever you decide. Before you do decide, why not get MrLJ to talk to Mr. Saskia (he's from Puerto Plata but has been in UK some time now, in Hertfordshire). They too have a child & are probably near you in age. I can arrange an email into if you don't already know each other.

 

[laurajane]

Laura, these are classic! Very well put.

Wish you well, whatever you decide. Before you do decide, why not get MrLJ to talk to Mr. Saskia (he's from Puerto Plata but has been in UK some time now, in Hertfordshire). They too have a child & are probably near you in age. I can arrange an email into if you don't already know each other.

Thank you, I know them very well actually. They seem to be doing very well and are really nice people. Trouble is Mr Lj has never been fond of the idea of living in the U.K, But then he has never even visited.

I think we would have to keep the business here and leave it in capable hands, however i think one of my problems is the area we are in. I think i should try moving to Bavaro in a gated community where i would feel safe and also meet people of a similar background to myself and see how it goes.

Decisions....Decisions!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[laurajane]

You make a fair point.
Life is cheap in the D.R. and sometimes brutal.
So where to live?
There are some undeveloped places round the Mediterranean that are less than a day's travel from England.
Seriously thinking about moving back to the Med myself.

Where is a good place to live in this world?

I think the only other place in this world where Mr Lj would thrive is Las Vegas!!!....Bit of a show off.

As for me a beautiful hillside villa in greece would be lovely.....or maybe melbourne, Australia....or maybe a different caribbean island...or maybe.................................................................

 

[Thandie]

Just the thought of being able to walk down the road on a pavement with out holes in to a park where i can feed the ducks with my little would be wonderful, something poeple who still live back home take for granted...something i used to take for granted. Knowing that if something bad does happen i can call the police with confidence or take my daughter to a doctor that i can trust.

Funny that the simple, but sometimes the most important things are the things that we miss most and realize we take for granted.
After coming back from the DR to Toronto I do a paradigm shift mentally.
I love being able to pull out my IPOD or cell phone without fear of robbery, walk around at all hours of the night by myself as a woman in relative safety in downtown, or being able to go to a downtown city park with my expensive laptop without even thinking twice like I did this morning.
My swedish friend who lives in the DR 8 months of the year says the same thing too when he returns home. His wife has to remind him for the 1st 2 weeks that he can 'let his guard down'. He is so used to having it up for 8 months of the year. Not a comfortable way to live if you dont like living in a bubble.

When I question my Dominican friends why they are so happy in Toronto (they werent even turned off by the -25 weather lol) its those simple things they mention, like safety, feeling comfortable the majority of the time and a better future for their children and how friendly and helpful people are just because, not to gain something.
When I pressed one couple and asked 'but you have to hate the cold Canadian winters' they said no, vacations and warm clothes help with that.... but not feeling COMFORTABLE in your own home that is suppossed to be your refuge, or a bright future for your kids, etc. and little hope that the future would get better, feeling that things are just getting worse was the reason why they packed up and left

 

[Thandie]

As for me a beautiful hillside villa in greece would be lovely.....or maybe melbourne, Australia....or maybe a different caribbean island...or maybe.................................................................

The only other problem is all those other places are much MUCH, more expensive to live than the DR. Lower cost of living is one of the most attractive reason why many choose to live in the DR in the first place.

 

[Chip]

Dominicans will get involved here but you have to engage your neighbors and assure them you are just like them and will help them in time of need too.

 

[laurajane]

Dominicans will get involved here but you have to engage your neighbors and assure them you are just like them and will help them in time of need too.

Oh i have helped many people as i am a real soft touch and i have had it thrown back in my face every time. I still kick myself when i do someone a favor or cave into one of their sob stories and i always seem to get stitched up!!!

I have never tried to be a "us and them" type of person and dont think of myself better than anyone on this planet, but in my own opinion from experiences it is my dominican neighbors and so called friends that have a chip on their shoulder not me!

Maybe i have just been unlucky...but either way i am tired of feeling nervous, afraid, worried and angry. I need to find a way of living here that does not make me feel bitter and so i can concentrate on the positives (which escape me currently), or get out of here before i pass on my negative feelings to my child.

 

[Lambada]

His wife has to remind him for the 1st 2 weeks that he can 'let his guard down'. He is so used to having it up for 8 months of the year. Not a comfortable way to live if you dont like living in a bubble.

I'm alert to security issues here in DR, of course, but it's so much second nature that it never feels like having one's guard up - just something automatic. I obviously didn't have my guard up enough in UK - only time my purse got snatched was in Tesco's in High Wycombe on a visit in 2000...:ermm:

Thank you, I know them very well actually. They seem to be doing very well and are really nice people. Trouble is Mr Lj has never been fond of the idea of living in the U.K, But then he has never even visited.

I think we would have to keep the business here and leave it in capable hands, however i think one of my problems is the area we are in. I think i should try moving to Bavaro in a gated community where i would feel safe and also meet people of a similar background to myself and see how it goes.

Decisions....Decisions!!!!!!!!!!!

Does Bavaro have any predominantly Dominican gated communities? Because, having lived both in the centre of Puerto Plata & the outskirts and now in upmarket Bayardo, I would always recommend an upmarket Domincan majority location. Having said that, I've never lived in a location with expats so have no experience of such. And of course I feel very safe where we live, aware that crime could happen but unperturbed by the prospect - mind you, I don't have a child.

 

[laurajane]

I think the only other place in this world where Mr Lj would thrive is Las Vegas!!!....Bit of a show off.

As for me a beautiful hillside villa in greece would be lovely.....or maybe melbourne, Australia....or maybe a different caribbean island...or maybe.................................................................

Damn it!! I just realized this was my 500th post and i am Gold! Wish id have thought of something a bit better.

So do i win something....oh i know i think its time to dig out that spandau ballet cd and have a warble to that famous 80s number...GOLD, GOLD, Always believe in your sooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuul...your indestructablllllllllleeeeeeeeee....

 

[Thandie]

I'm alert to security issues here in DR, of course, but it's so much second nature that it never feels like having one's guard up - just something automatic.

I'm alert to security issues here in DR, of course, but it's so much second nature that it never feels like having one's guard up - just something automatic.

Just a question Lambada. Why do you think you are able to make it so second nature or automatic, while others dont find doing that so easy/automatic?
Personality type?
Or maybe your old job in the UK working in the criminal justice field?

Just curious, thanks!

 

[Lambada]

Yes all of the above, Thandie, plus a developed sense of non-verbal communication (helped by having no Spanish when we first moved here, so I had to be able to read vibes rather than lips :cheeky. I can sense vibes in areas, even if I don't know what is going on (the Irish witch in me). I was walking round PP one day with two elderly (my age) slow-to-move tourist friends & saw these 2 guys approach together then split apart - I knew it was a pickpocketing/robbery deal (probably for tourist camera) so I rapidly moved in front of the tourists so the guys were facing.... me. No camera, both hands free and body language which said 'don't mess with me, brother'. And they didn't of course. The look was enough to convince me the hunch had been right. But I suppose above all, getting all precautions one can in place, then forgetting about it & getting on & enjoying life. Plus of course the deep seated belief, as Laura is singing, that I'm indestructablllllllllleeeeeeeeee....

 

[pedrochemical]

Spandau Ballet?
They just wouldn't stand for it in D.R.

 

[donP]

Automatic Life

I'm alert to security issues here in DR, of course, but it's so much second nature that it never feels like having one's guard up - just something automatic.

All right.
Watch the pavement with one eye (deep holes, dog sh...), the following tigueres with the other eye, avoid the oncoming 'pasola calibrando' and shaking the Haitian kid off your arm... :tired:
Just a pleasant morning walk, I guess.