Help, Moving from US to Santo Domingo due to Husband's Deportation.

[A.J.]

Just to add another woman's two cents - one thing many of the people who are on this board and reside in the DR know about it is the predjudice against dominicans who have been deported for whatever reason. Many people make their assumptions that someone was involved in drugs or in a gang to be deported, however that is not true - there are many who have been deported from the US on crimes that many see as not very serious. You need to be prepared for this kind of predjudice - I would advise you to only give people as much information as they really need i.e. you are married to a man who is dominican and decided to move back.

I would also advise you that your children - however old they are will have a period of adjusting to living there as may you and your husband. You all have to be patient with different things. Remember this is a different culture (even though your husband is dominican) than anywhere in the US including Washington Heights and Lawrence. The government is different, the way things are done can be different, and you all just need to remember that your patience with the adjustment will help you out in the end. You are making the commitment to the move which is not 2 weeks or a 4 week visit. I have alot of friends who have moved from the US back to the DR and back again and back again.

Your degree is helpful - you will need to look beyond the area of your study to see where you can get to. Networking is essential in looking for a job, try to go places or do things where you can meet people outside of the family. The people here are DR1 are very well connected and given how wonderful the majority are, they may be able to lead you in a direction. Most companies would rather hire a foriegner who has ties to the country than one who can up and leave at any point.

Feel free to PM me if there is anything you feel I could help you with.

 

[gringosabroso]

Qs for Diane

How old are you? How old are the children? I assume that your husband is a Dominican. I assume that you are not a Dominican. Is your husband being deported? Or, is he returning to the DR voluntarily?

 

[marliejaneca]

Diane,
I sincerely hope that you were not offended to my post regarding your situation. You were very vague about your situation, and of course, mentioning "deportation" does raise a lot of red flags. That is why I asked if you could be more specific, so that we could give you useful advice and not alot of information that would not concern you.
I am not without compassion in regards to your situation, I think it must be a horrible situation for you to be going through, uprooting your lives like this, and like Hillbilly said - I also admire your tenacity and devotion.
Although, many posters showed you alot of compassion, you still need to get your questions answered, re: schooling, affordable housing, employment. I am not able to help in these areas, so I am not going to post anymore in this thread.
I wish you all the best, good luck in your move. By the sounds of it, your husband is a hard worker, so I am sure it will not be hard for him once he is here to find a job.
Again, I am sorry if I offended you.
Marlie
P.S. I did notice that other posters said some of us jumped to conclusions too fast and assumed things, tell me - do you have a degree? I noticed that you just mentioned that your husband worked 80 + hours a week, while you went to school and raised the children. NOWHERE, did it mention that you were getting a degree at this time. I wonder if these same posters just "assumed" this. Of course, you could have had a private conversation with them as well, but I thought it was an interesting observation!

 

[dteferreira]

Sorry but nobody gets deported for a misdeameanor committed as a juvenile. If he told you that he is not telling the truth. I wish you nothing but the best.

Actually YES they do, if they never hired an attorney at 18 years old and got Youthful Offender status, therefore prohibiting him from qualifying for AR...oops you might not know that stands for Accelerated Rehabilitation! As for what he tells me, suprise suprise I myself work in the courts as a Immigration Paralegal, thank you!!!

 

[dteferreira]

Apologies and Thank You

Just wanted to take a moment and thank once again those of you who were kind enough to retract certain assumptions and offensive comments. When I entered this forum and posted my dilemna, I was sincerly looking for genuine guidance and advice and did not feel that such a personal crisis was relevant to what I was asking. I may be naturally cynical but here I just assumed people would spend more time answering someone's questions, rather condemning an individual man they have never met and criticizing my stance as a mother and parent. Although I recognize perhaps my original posting may have led some to believe the worst, I will hereby answer questions that might be pertinent in helping those special individuals who seem concerned enough to offer true guidance and support to those less knowledgable such as myself when it comes to living abroad. I do not intend to be rude, however I must admit I am somewhat taken aback and genuinely doubt that some can still be so malicious...but oh well. I truly enjoyed those comments regarding my ability to stand up for what I believe in and thank you as it truly made my day. Hopefully the following will give you some additional insight as to my background and scenario. Although we are in the midst of trying to establish and qualify under hardship, it is certainly possible we will be able to fight the deportation order, especially considering the offense committed had mitigating factors and did not involve something as grotesque as murder, rape, assault, or whatever else inquiring minds might assume. However, I am still trying to prepare myself for the unknown and make lemonade or jugo out of whatever life throws at us....so here goes!

My children are 9,11 and 13 years old. As for myself I have an A.S. Degree in Criminal Law and Justice, in addition to a Paralegal Certification with specialities in Criminal Law and Immigration. I am about 20 credits shy of a B.S. in Human Services and have also worked in the Judicial sector in both Civil and Criminal Law and Human Services field. Currently I work for a company that specializes in assisting clients mandated by the Department of Children and Families to engage in Substance Abuse treatment and my spanish including written is about 80% proficient. Hopefully this helps answer any questions regarding my capabilities. In addition, I have extensive experience in providing Customer Service within a Call Center environment and hold a Certificate in that, as well as being a licensed Insurance Sales Producer here in my State. As usual, any thoughts both kind and witty are much appreciated.

Have a great evening,
Diane

 

[Mr_DR]

Sorry but nobody gets deported for a misdeameanor committed as a juvenile. If he told you that he is not telling the truth. I wish you nothing but the best.

Well, if you are a little familiar with immigration laws, the three strikes you are out law apply deportation if you are an immigrant.
Immigration can also deport you if you are convicted for 3 DUIs.

 

[Mr_DR]

Just wanted to take a moment and thank once again those of you who were kind enough to retract certain assumptions and offensive comments. When I entered this forum and posted my dilemna, I was sincerly looking for genuine guidance and advice and did not feel that such a personal crisis was relevant to what I was asking. I may be naturally cynical but here I just assumed people would spend more time answering someone's questions, rather condemning an individual man they have never met and criticizing my stance as a mother and parent. Although I recognize perhaps my original posting may have led some to believe the worst, I will hereby answer questions that might be pertinent in helping those special individuals who seem concerned enough to offer true guidance and support to those less knowledgable such as myself when it comes to living abroad. I do not intend to be rude, however I must admit I am somewhat taken aback and genuinely doubt that some can still be so malicious...but oh well. I truly enjoyed those comments regarding my ability to stand up for what I believe in and thank you as it truly made my day. Hopefully the following will give you some additional insight as to my background and scenario. Although we are in the midst of trying to establish and qualify under hardship, it is certainly possible we will be able to fight the deportation order, especially considering the offense committed had mitigating factors and did not involve something as grotesque as murder, rape, assault, or whatever else inquiring minds might assume. However, I am still trying to prepare myself for the unknown and make lemonade or jugo out of whatever life throws at us....so here goes!

My children are 9,11 and 13 years old. As for myself I have an A.S. Degree in Criminal Law and Justice, in addition to a Paralegal Certification with specialities in Criminal Law and Immigration. I am about 20 credits shy of a B.S. in Human Services and have also worked in the Judicial sector in both Civil and Criminal Law and Human Services field. Currently I work for a company that specializes in assisting clients mandated by the Department of Children and Families to engage in Substance Abuse treatment and my spanish including written is about 80% proficient. Hopefully this helps answer any questions regarding my capabilities. In addition, I have extensive experience in providing Customer Service within a Call Center environment and hold a Certificate in that, as well as being a licensed Insurance Sales Producer here in my State. As usual, any thoughts both kind and witty are much appreciated.

Have a great evening,
Diane

Have you checked with the U.S Government about a possible job in the embassy or consulate in the Dominican Republic or even Haiti?

It would be nice if you can get in with them because you would be getting paid in U.S standards and your children would get to take advantage of the best schools there, paid by the government.

 

[Mr_DR]

Hello Everyone,

I am hoping someone will take the time and understand my dilemna and offer any advice or guidance, as this would be very much appreciated. As stated above, I am forced (by my heart anyways) to relocate with my husband and 3 children and am very conmcerned as although he has some family in the Dominican Republic, they are by no means well off and I am at a loss as to how to find English Schools for my children and work for myself and husband, along with the necessity of housing, food etc. We will not have any US income to rely on as we are too young for pensions, etc. and were always low income to middle class in the US. Once again, any advice, thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!! I may be emailed at ferreirad3@aol.com

Diane

Just don't shortchange the future of your kids to be somebody through proper opportunities and education they deserve. After all, your kids were not the ones who broke the laws, why should they havr to pay for his mistakes?

And please dont tell me that you have been married to this guy for less than 5 years. Because from another post i think you state that these are not even his kids. Am I right?

 

[Lambada]

No you aren't! Diane refers to a 15 year marriage & 'our' children. Please read what the lady says, she hasn't changed her story.

 

[jruane44]

Youthful Offender status is for Fenony convictions for someone under the age of 18 years old. Usually for someone that has never been in trouble before. If he received Youthful Offender status he is therefore a convicted felon. As for being deported for 3 DUI convictions.I've never heard of a juvenile getting convicted of 3 DUI's.

 

[Kaizen68]

Whatever may be the reason for deportation, PUT YOUR KIDS' BEST INTEREST ABOVE ALL!, I SAY AGAIN... YOUR KIDS COME FIRST!, your loving husband must understand this, (his "stand by me through thick and thin" attitude, (if any) will not help keep your family together). Make sure you and him have lots of long talks (not in front of the kids of course ).

Watch for his attitude changes when you ask questions regarding this abrupt change in life style. Do not succumb to his if you love, you'll..... bs. At this point in time, take it one day at a time, simply ask him questions concerning the future of the children, you can deduce from his answers (or lack thereof) if he really wants to put YOU and the CHILDREN first.

ps...Perseverance breaks resistance...

...Suerte...

 

[Dolores1]

If the parents can find a source of income in the DR to cover their expenses, then I don?t see a problem and would support keeping the family together. Probably Diane could market her services to a law firm here, or could at least teach English and do translations.

With parental supervision, the children could get a good enough education here, even if they go to the public school system, or to a neighborhood private school in Spanish. If they do well in school, they could apply for scholarships to study college or masters program in the US. The parents could help them keep up their English speaking English at home and making sure they read at home in English. In this age of the Internet, there is lots out there that the children can easily have access to, to not miss out on what's happening.

Personally, I would support Diane?s feeling that her children would be better off growing up with both parents than separating. When choosing between being a mother raising alone three teenagers in the US and doing so in the DR with the father, I would chose the second option when putting first the interest of my children.

The support she is showing to her husband, and even the difficult situation the family is confronting, are valuable life lessons for the children. Yes, they will have less material goods, but they will have family, which could be more important.

 

[trina]

If the parents can find a source of income in the DR to cover their expenses, then I don?t see a problem and would support keeping the family together. Probably Diane could market her services to a law firm here, or could at least teach English and do translations.

With parental supervision, the children could get a good enough education here, even if they go to the public school system, or to a neighborhood private school in Spanish. If they do well in school, they could apply for scholarships to study college or masters program in the US. The parents could help them keep up their English speaking English at home and making sure they read at home in English. In this age of the Internet, there is lots out there that the children can easily have access to, to not miss out on what's happening.

Personally, I would support Diane?s feeling that her children would be better off growing up with both parents than separating. When choosing between being a mother raising alone three teenagers in the US and doing so in the DR with the father, I would chose the second option when putting first the interest of my children.

The support she is showing to her husband, and even the difficult situation the family is confronting, are valuable life lessons for the children. Yes, they will have less material goods, but they will have family, which could be more important.

Excellent reply, Dolores, you encompassed my sentiments exactly. I'd like to add that the poster sounds like a very intelligent lady, perhaps homeschooling (as mentioned earlier) is a viable option.

 

[Hillbilly]

As usual, Dolores, being a Mom herself, has said it most correctly.

With those qualifications you should be able to work with some of the law firms here. There are also call centers here that work in Canada and the US.

I hope to God that you finish your degree. In the DR you could probably teach some of your talents at the college level. There are ONGs that can use your expertise in Drug Rehab.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you can make it here with your children. It will not be easy, but it can be done.

Luck,

HB

 

[A.J.]

For your children's education you can also supplement it with some of the online learning opportunities.

You should make sure wherever they finish from it will be accepted by US colleges and Univeristies if they are planning on going to school in the States.

 

[ustelephone]

Sorry but nobody gets deported for a misdeameanor committed as a juvenile. If he told you that he is not telling the truth. I wish you nothing but the best.

Are you questioning the honesty in this woman's marriage? You must be a federal attorney to be certain of your statement. I guess she should listen to you and get a private invetigator to do a backround check on her husband. The question was about moving here. I didn't see her asking for legal advise.

 

[ustelephone]

Just wanted to take a moment and thank once again those of you who were kind enough to retract certain assumptions and offensive comments. When I entered this forum and posted my dilemna, I was sincerly looking for genuine guidance and advice and did not feel that such a personal crisis was relevant to what I was asking. I may be naturally cynical but here I just assumed people would spend more time answering someone's questions, rather condemning an individual man they have never met and criticizing my stance as a mother and parent. Although I recognize perhaps my original posting may have led some to believe the worst, I will hereby answer questions that might be pertinent in helping those special individuals who seem concerned enough to offer true guidance and support to those less knowledgable such as myself when it comes to living abroad. I do not intend to be rude, however I must admit I am somewhat taken aback and genuinely doubt that some can still be so malicious...but oh well. I truly enjoyed those comments regarding my ability to stand up for what I believe in and thank you as it truly made my day. Hopefully the following will give you some additional insight as to my background and scenario. Although we are in the midst of trying to establish and qualify under hardship, it is certainly possible we will be able to fight the deportation order, especially considering the offense committed had mitigating factors and did not involve something as grotesque as murder, rape, assault, or whatever else inquiring minds might assume. However, I am still trying to prepare myself for the unknown and make lemonade or jugo out of whatever life throws at us....so here goes!

My children are 9,11 and 13 years old. As for myself I have an A.S. Degree in Criminal Law and Justice, in addition to a Paralegal Certification with specialities in Criminal Law and Immigration. I am about 20 credits shy of a B.S. in Human Services and have also worked in the Judicial sector in both Civil and Criminal Law and Human Services field. Currently I work for a company that specializes in assisting clients mandated by the Department of Children and Families to engage in Substance Abuse treatment and my spanish including written is about 80% proficient. Hopefully this helps answer any questions regarding my capabilities. In addition, I have extensive experience in providing Customer Service within a Call Center environment and hold a Certificate in that, as well as being a licensed Insurance Sales Producer here in my State. As usual, any thoughts both kind and witty are much appreciated.

Have a great evening,
Diane

It is harder to make things happen here, but you can make things happen here.

I am in the call center business and I am hiring for several positions which have excellent compensation packages. I have an ad under employment on DR1 (National Health & Wellness Bureau). Please feel free to send me a PM or call the number in the ad between 9-5 Eastern time.

 

[dteferreira]

Just don't shortchange the future of your kids to be somebody through proper opportunities and education they deserve. After all, your kids were not the ones who broke the laws, why should they havr to pay for his mistakes?

And please dont tell me that you have been married to this guy for less than 5 years. Because from another post i think you state that these are not even his kids. Am I right?

TOTALLY WRONG ON BOTH COUNTS. Sorry but I don't know who you are referring to, however regardless of that fact, we have been together for 15 Years and married for 12 years and ALL 3 children are his. Hope this clarifies your confusion.

 

[dteferreira]

Please clarify the facts before you comment!

Youthful Offender status is for Fenony convictions for someone under the age of 18 years old. Usually for someone that has never been in trouble before. If he received Youthful Offender status he is therefore a convicted felon. As for being deported for 3 DUI convictions.I've never heard of a juvenile getting convicted of 3 DUI's.

I have never come across so many different versions of my life before :tired:
First of all Youthful Offender Status is NOT here in CT atleast used for Felony Convictions only, it CAN be applied to misdeameanors for first time offenders provided you apply for it and have knowledge of it, which my husband did not at the time. 2nd of all he has never even had 1 DUI nor less 3, so please stop assuming or referring to someone else's inaccurate postings. Between the comments regarding who's illegitimate children I have and my supposed marriage of less than 5 years I myself am beginning to understand why people give the internet a bad rap rather than appreciating it for what it is. Let's all stop playing camp games of telephone and stick to the facts please.

 

[dteferreira]

Finally....

Hello Everyone,

Whoosh, I never thought I would encounter so many sentiments, but now that my adrenaline is flowing smoothly once again, Many thanks as I finally feel I am getting the answers for questions I was so desperately seeking and never anticipated on things becoming such a contraversy. However, some of your impassioned statements have truly touched me and many of you that have posted replies offering best wishes, thoughts, prayers and offers of contact genuinely mean the world to me and my family. My husband has also been privy to these postings as he has been genuinely concerned about the effects on the children and it has been heartbreaking to watch the exspression on his face as he reads some of these things said, so thankfully they have been countered by such positive statements and defensives. I just wish to state that again any thoughts,advice or comments are always welcome and many of you have helped open my eyes to the possibilities abound and helped strengthen my resolve and committment to do what I feel is the right thing. Ultimately, it is I and my children who must live with the consequences of my decision and all of the animosity I have felt the past few days have widened my eyes to the values that I wish to instill in my children and the importance of family, commitment and love. I think in the beginning I like some of those who have posted dwelled upon the loss of materialistic possessions rather than embracing this adventure that we may or may not have to take. God willing, when and if we go...I already feel truly blessed to have encountered a few of you who have so genuinely and compassionately helped make a difficult decision alittle easier.

Have a great night,
Diane

Ps. I especially LOVE the comments regarding my intelligence....I feel honored although a little embarrassed. You can actually tell all this from my postings? The fact that I would even be considered for such employment opportunities boosts my self esteem triple fold as my career and education are something I truly value and wish to expand upon. So again thank yous all around! :nervous: