The attorney's information is correct. NY State, unlike some states, requires that the papers are personally served (given) to the respondent (spouse) in a divorce proceedings. This is to prevent fraud. The exception to the rule, as the attorney informed you, is to inform the judge that you do not know your husband location and to provide details. The judge can then permit you to use another form of service, like certified mail, publication in a newspaper, posting the complaint on the door of his last known address, etc.
From the information you provided, you may be able to do this yourself. This would include the length of time of the separation, no children and no property to divide. You must file the complaint, and then arrange to discuss the matter with the judge. You probably would have to file a motion. Call the clerk of the court and explain your situation and asked for assistance. Sometimes, especially in non-complex cases they can be of great assistance.
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