Married Men .... and Dating .....

[AnnaC]

I know so many guys who just aren't getting sex at home, and I mean like they get it only on special occasions 3 or 4 times a year, tops, from their wives. Not only are they not getting their physical needs met but their emotional need for intimacy can cause them to look for it elsewhere.

I hope you've heard this theory from women and not men. Cheating men have no problem with lies. It's a good story to tell women so they have pity on them .

 

[Nelly]

No, I'm not THAT dumb. lol I believe that it is a real problem. I hear stories from both men and women (coworkers, good friends, family, etc.)in sexless relationships and marriages. It's nothing new but I've only been able to look at it objectively (the infidelity part) over the last few years. To get back on topic, my point is that I think the infidelity manifests itself differently between our cultures as well as how it is percieved and dealt with by the spouses.

 

[sunshine_79]

I'm so good I call out my own name. hehe

Seriously though, Sunny, I love your perspective on this. Cheating doesn't mean you don't love or want to be with the person you are with.

In my opinion, from a cultural perspective I think that NA women are mostly oblivious or in denial where there is a cheating spouse. I also think that most NA men cheat for different reasons than Dominican men and discretion is on a different level. From what I have seen with NA men, generally, is that nobody knows what is going on except the two people involved. Usually it is not about getting laid but rather intimacy. I know so many guys who just aren't getting sex at home, and I mean like they get it only on special occassions 3 or 4 times a year, tops, from their wives. Not only are they not getting their physical needs met but their emotional need for intimacy can cause them to look for it elsewhere. Yet, they love their wives dearly. And yet, if their wives ever found out, they'd be in divorce court faster than you can say "child support".

Also, in my opinion, and generally speaking, Dominican men seem to cheat, mostly, for conquest, status, to look good for their friends and because they can as CC would say. Dominican woman do not usually withhold sex from their men as is so typical for NA woman. Dominican women tend to enjoy sex and to withhold would be to punish herself. (They aren't stupid!) I also think that Dominican women know how to relate to men by being more outwardly loving, sexual, passionate, etc. and to know that sometimes men just stray, and it is just part of life. So, I think they tolerate it better than their NA counterparts but if you get caught red handed, you better know how to run real fast!

You are right on the money, honey.

And I never undersood withholding sex as punishment. Why, oh why, would I inflict such torture upon myself??? Oh, the humanity.

I also think that men cheat for physical reasons and women cheat for emotional reasons.

A man will cheat if he sees a good lookng piece of a** that seems available. As I always point out, a man is only as faithful as his options!

Women, on the other hand, tend to stray when they feel that their relationship is emotionally hollow. Their husband is spending more time in front of the TV, etc, not paying eough attention to them and before you know it, the're having an affair with that cute co-worker who always says the right things and always makes it a point to be concerned with the woman and her feelings. Basically, he's fulfilling her emotional needs that aren't being met by her husband.

And why is that women who cheat usually fall "hopelessly in love" with the other man?

 

[amy2761]

Yeah, but does she do floors?

Only if she has time between caring for the baby and her work ..... :tired:

Stay well,
Amy

 

[Potato_Salad]

Cheating happens in every country.

Cheating also happens at school, work, the bank, the swimming pool cross-eye ), etc. everywhere.

Oh well.

Life goes on.

Happy Holidays!!! :classic:

 

[Jersey Devil]

Disclaimer - After a bottle of red wine this seems like a good topic to explore .....

The debate:
How do Dominican women feel regarding infidelity in comparison to "Western" women? Is cheating (for women or men) acceptable in Dominican culture because it?s a common occurrence? Or when is it a common occurrence? Low or middle or high class cheating..... Is there a difference?

Stay well,
Amy

Based on a limited sample of Dominican women cheating is not exactly accepted but it is sometimes tolerated. Without going into specifics I have seen it myself. Out of sight, out of mind is one phrase that seems to fit SOME situations. These examples come from low and middle class families.

Merry Christmas,

JD

 

[chuckuindy]

I believe that most of the Dominican women that cheat only do it for 2 reasons. First is romance, and second for a financial need.

Chuckuindy

 

[xamaicano]

True. Countless American men (and women) cheat. Countless American women stay with men who have cheated on them many times.

Cheating happens in every country.

Cheating also happens at school, work, the bank, the swimming pool cross-eye ), etc. everywhere.

Oh well.

Life goes on.

Happy Holidays!!! :classic:

 

[baileyboy]

As a single female dating here, I see the cheating all the time. I personally don't want to be the mistress.

My observations have been that the wife being cheated on usually knows what is going on. She will tolerate it as long as her needs are being met! She usuallly will not tolerate it being blatant, her ego has needs. She will usually tolerate it if her financial needs are being met, but if this changes or he spends more on the girlfriend then all hell can break loose.

I'd never want to be the mistress - I'm afraid of the wives!

I agree, with Planner.

I personally have known a well-off Dominican who runs a hotel, and was sleeping with one of his staff. And I would see the two out, all the while the wife and kids are living at the hotel, and being very well taken care of. Now I can't comment on how well he was taking care of the wife in the bedroom, she was financially well off, as were her kids. Driving around in a brand new SUV, having all designer clothing from the US, and the kids in Private schools, and having maids etc at the hotel...how could she NOT know he was sleeping with one of the girls who works at the hotel??!! But did she really care, was that interfering with her life, NOPE!
Although, when the two split, the wife is still at the hotel, and the girlfriend...fired and left her with a baby....but not getting ANY financial support, guess that trap didn't work!! And being fired avoids any cat fights around the pool! LOL
Baileyboy

 

[Potato_Salad]

I agree, with Planner.

I personally have known a well-off Dominican who runs a hotel, and was sleeping with one of his staff. And I would see the two out, all the while the wife and kids are living at the hotel, and being very well taken care of. Now I can't comment on how well he was taking care of the wife in the bedroom, she was financially well off, as were her kids. Driving around in a brand new SUV, having all designer clothing from the US, and the kids in Private schools, and having maids etc at the hotel...how could she NOT know he was sleeping with one of the girls who works at the hotel??!! But did she really care, was that interfering with her life, NOPE!
Although, when the two split, the wife is still at the hotel, and the girlfriend...fired and left her with a baby....but not getting ANY financial support, guess that trap didn't work!! And being fired avoids any cat fights around the pool! LOL
Baileyboy

Is the baby his? If it is, shouldn't he be paying child support?

 

[baileyboy]

Is the baby his? If it is, shouldn't he be paying child support?

Well when she had the baby, I swear the baby was the spit out of HIS mouth b/c they looked EXACTLY alike. But then again she had a boyfriend as well....and now that the "father" dumped her, she is claiming the child as her boyfriends.... Sooooo either way I guess she is getting something....
Obviously she is o.k with it, as is the boyfriend, who is either ignorant, and willing to turn a blind eye, or dumb? Who knows...but they are happy, so who am I to judge?

 

[Potato_Salad]

Well when she had the baby, I swear the baby was the spit out of HIS mouth b/c they looked EXACTLY alike. But then again she had a boyfriend as well....and now that the "father" dumped her, she is claiming the child as her boyfriends.... Sooooo either way I guess she is getting something....
Obviously she is o.k with it, as is the boyfriend, who is either ignorant, and willing to turn a blind eye, or dumb? Who knows...but they are happy, so who am I to judge?

Hi there

Wow, it sounds like a soap opera!

My former manager in Korea got his secretary pregnant. He was in his late 40s and the secretary was only 20. The secretary's father was p*ssed off big time!!! Oh the drama~~~ :cross-eye

Take care.

 

[baileyboy]

Hi there

Wow, it sounds like a soap opera!

My former manager in Korea got his secretary pregnant. He was in his late 40s and the secretary was only 20. The secretary's father was p*ssed off big time!!! Oh the drama~~~ :cross-eye

Take care.

It is like a soap opera...I sometimes call it "As the Dominican Turns" instead of "As the World turns" :lick: (A soap opera in Cda and the US)
LOL
Lisa

 

[leona]

". no one thinks the way he has put it in words in latin america"

thats the only thing that makes your point.

You put it in the context of YOUR life. I did say that it certainly could be different in the DR because of up bringing. I guess civilized society would frown upon your dissreguard for marriage. Ban to me to Kansas thats fine........I know i am this different creature than your used to huh?

that dont bother me. I dont care about being cool, I dont care about sprouting my machoism...it will show when its NEEDED believe me. I speak my mind, if it makes me look like a sissy, a murderer, a jerk...i dont care......i am comfortable being it, i am comfortable saying it. I listen to Andrea Bocelli, and Josh Groban, and Metalica... and i get looks and i dont care.

Just like I dont think you have drive a woman into the ground to prove your a man

bob

Thank you bob. I don't think that some of these guys realize the emotional/ psychological effects their infidelity has on their girlfiends/wives.

 

[lindalin1]

I just don't understand this whole "adultry" thing...Why would you marry someone,if you know that you can not be with them only?? Yes I am educated and understand the historical and theoritical perspectives associated with this culture. .. I know this couple who have been married for 30 years..they are is such sync with each other..and still soo romantic with each other, it makes me wish I had that and admire the fact that they have been together for so long...which is really sad!!! to think that in this day and age one admires the longevity of a marriage, when it is supposed to be that way.

 

[carina]

It is like a soap opera...I sometimes call it "As the Dominican Turns" instead of "As the World turns" :lick: (A soap opera in Cda and the US)
LOL
Lisa

LOL...and when it comes to sankiettes... "the BALD and the BEAUTIFUL"

For both sexes, after marriage, it becomes " Family Matters":classic:

 

[amy2761]

LOL...and when it comes to sankiettes... "the BALD and the BEAUTIFUL"

For both sexes, after marriage, it becomes " Family Matters":classic:

Too funny! :laugh:

Stay well,
Amy

 

[carina]

Too funny! :laugh:

Stay well,
Amy

And the sankies dream, to become " Fresh prince of Bel Air":classic:

 

[bill11]

Amy,
Dominican whomen living in the Dominican Republic in no way exept the infidelity of their husbands.

And there are a lot of fights in the dominican families because of that..... but ...there is one big BUT...you will never see that in public.

I do not know why, though.

And I would like to hear the opinions of the dominican themselves regarding that.

 

[Mr_DR]

Cry, cry, cry and cry

That is all you women do.

When are y'all going to realise that there are 7 women and 1 old lady extra for every man?