The rules of evidence that you allude to are a reflection of how things are done back home. It is not a safe assumption to make that the same requirements are in place here. I agree with you though, with no working pens, no latex gloves, no sterile sample containers, no refrigerators to preserve the sample, yeah, the only possible result from any testing would be "nonviable sample" or possibly "contaminated sample" containing 2 or more DNA sequences.
As an aside, they are pretty good at taking finger prints these days thanks to the electronic scanners - they never could get the ink roll and press technique to work as well.