"Married" in the sense of common law. I was lead to believe that documentation of my support in this relationship for more than 4 years would be enough. Our attitude is,and was,she had the interview: Simply, we don't need you (this vacation to Spain) Spain needs us. We will not rely on the decisions of a clerk judging our intentions. ("She will not return to DR"). We have dropped any desire to go to Spain.1. I'm really sorry to hear about this.
2. Is the Spanish embassy the only option for you guys? I'm having hard time understanding this as while things may have of course changed recently, as you are in fact married, whenever we have applied for a visa (Schengen Visa via German Embassy), we have provided a very small amount of documentation and we have never once got a negative result and we have always had the results back incredibly fast. Add to that, we have never paid anything for the visa due to being married, so 150 EUR? So this makes me wonder is the problem somewhere in your documentation (I'm not saying you don't qualify, but rather something that the embassy thinks they see or something?) or something with the embassy? I'm saying this as being legally married should be a strong case, so why are they turning you guys down?
BTW in my search while forming our strategy several people advised to apply at the French embassy for the visa but then just go to Spain instead. I rejected that idea because we try to live stress free. Especially ,when spending a lot of money to go on vacation. I wasn't comfortable with that in spite of it looking good on paper.