This is a bit of a rant but it's a clean rant; more or less a cultural observation of extranjeros and how we're treated better or for worse
I have visited here for more than 10 years and have lived here for nearly a few now - have a Dominican family. I am young and have adapted to the language, customs, lack of punctuality and straight up lowered my expectations with services; I have seen the good and tried to adopt some of that friendliness into my own personality.
The first year was fun, puppy love, everything was new, the lack of rules was cool etc. The second year was more or less falling out of love with it because of the lack of any good services to be honest, taught myself to be really self-sufficient imported tools/products from my country; has helped so much and saved me headaches, but one thing that remains to frustrate me and that's community.
Dominicans treat each other horribly anyone who has spent time here knows how they treat a gringo vs their own ( stranger ) is very different, there is an immediate lack of trust, competition among other things - this is totally void if it is family as they are really warm with one another or close friends.
It didn't really bug me until last year when my son had his birthday party and I spent about 40,000 pesos on everything and had a bunch of kids and family come, out of the 25 kids that were there one brought him a present but wanted seconds to take home along with the cake. This really pissed me off, because I have attended other birthday parties here and the kids normally get presents, it's not the cost of the toy it's the thought for the kid.
There has been lots of things in between like people trying to help me i.e unloading my bike from my truck and flat out asking for money to the point I tell people " si queres ayudame bueno, pero es por gratis " 7/10 they stop helping.
There is fruit trees in the back of my pretty good neighborhood which are mine, there are other trees as well on other people's properties - they come over to me to ask if they can go up my house to pick the avocados they want and I know if I let them they would clean out the whole tree with a smile but they don't do this to the other Dominicans.
I get this subtle communist vibe here when people tell me or talk about others how they should openly share resources; like that one of the biggest economic handicaps here is Hermano works so he will give me some too and I won't work.
The maid comes to my house and tells me she makes 2,500 a day cleaning but she's doing it for 1,000 cause she's friends with X then goes on a low key 8 hour begging spree that she owes 24,000 peso and needs help bla bla I don't care. I know from being submerged in Dominican culture for 11 years that if she did this to a Dominican she would have received a horrible-normal response
these are weekly things and sometimes semi-daily. I am venting a bit here but my reasons are valid, lots of extranjeros who come here are retired and like the weather or love travel/ nature and want to try a business or something other come here for family or attempt to find greener pastures. I think as a demographic compared to some other countries we add a lot of value, education, businesses, and foreign income into the local economy, not every extranjero here is good of course but as a whole, we're not bad and the government tends to agree.
Do Dominicans honestly just think foreigners have enough that their plates are full so they should share obligated cause thats what a nice gringo does? I am always a bit stuck in between how to respond to these things cause they are generally nice people surface level but without sounding like a total A hole I feel it's very hard to have a real friendship with one unless they're on a similar economic level and have their own things - friends which I do have but, obviously, when you go out to the gym, supermarket you are not dealing with your circle you're dealing with the general population.
What I have done instead of just complaining about it is going back to my country for a month at a time and this helps and quite honestly have been more of a A-hole here which helps as well because people don't bug me but it comes with a side effect of becoming a bit dumb to others which I wasn't before.
Was a rant but a clean rant
I have visited here for more than 10 years and have lived here for nearly a few now - have a Dominican family. I am young and have adapted to the language, customs, lack of punctuality and straight up lowered my expectations with services; I have seen the good and tried to adopt some of that friendliness into my own personality.
The first year was fun, puppy love, everything was new, the lack of rules was cool etc. The second year was more or less falling out of love with it because of the lack of any good services to be honest, taught myself to be really self-sufficient imported tools/products from my country; has helped so much and saved me headaches, but one thing that remains to frustrate me and that's community.
Dominicans treat each other horribly anyone who has spent time here knows how they treat a gringo vs their own ( stranger ) is very different, there is an immediate lack of trust, competition among other things - this is totally void if it is family as they are really warm with one another or close friends.
It didn't really bug me until last year when my son had his birthday party and I spent about 40,000 pesos on everything and had a bunch of kids and family come, out of the 25 kids that were there one brought him a present but wanted seconds to take home along with the cake. This really pissed me off, because I have attended other birthday parties here and the kids normally get presents, it's not the cost of the toy it's the thought for the kid.
There has been lots of things in between like people trying to help me i.e unloading my bike from my truck and flat out asking for money to the point I tell people " si queres ayudame bueno, pero es por gratis " 7/10 they stop helping.
There is fruit trees in the back of my pretty good neighborhood which are mine, there are other trees as well on other people's properties - they come over to me to ask if they can go up my house to pick the avocados they want and I know if I let them they would clean out the whole tree with a smile but they don't do this to the other Dominicans.
I get this subtle communist vibe here when people tell me or talk about others how they should openly share resources; like that one of the biggest economic handicaps here is Hermano works so he will give me some too and I won't work.
The maid comes to my house and tells me she makes 2,500 a day cleaning but she's doing it for 1,000 cause she's friends with X then goes on a low key 8 hour begging spree that she owes 24,000 peso and needs help bla bla I don't care. I know from being submerged in Dominican culture for 11 years that if she did this to a Dominican she would have received a horrible-normal response
these are weekly things and sometimes semi-daily. I am venting a bit here but my reasons are valid, lots of extranjeros who come here are retired and like the weather or love travel/ nature and want to try a business or something other come here for family or attempt to find greener pastures. I think as a demographic compared to some other countries we add a lot of value, education, businesses, and foreign income into the local economy, not every extranjero here is good of course but as a whole, we're not bad and the government tends to agree.
Do Dominicans honestly just think foreigners have enough that their plates are full so they should share obligated cause thats what a nice gringo does? I am always a bit stuck in between how to respond to these things cause they are generally nice people surface level but without sounding like a total A hole I feel it's very hard to have a real friendship with one unless they're on a similar economic level and have their own things - friends which I do have but, obviously, when you go out to the gym, supermarket you are not dealing with your circle you're dealing with the general population.
What I have done instead of just complaining about it is going back to my country for a month at a time and this helps and quite honestly have been more of a A-hole here which helps as well because people don't bug me but it comes with a side effect of becoming a bit dumb to others which I wasn't before.
Was a rant but a clean rant
