Why do dominicans have no manners?

[bob saunders]

Buen Provecho is one of the most common saying I hear in the DR, as well Con Permiso. Almost every store clerk say" a sus ordenes " Our office staff always say it, whether talking on the phone or in person.
Many/most parents when dropping their children off wish you a good day/afternoon....etc.

Darme un menta from a child gets Darme nunca obtiene ( nunca nada) . It interesting that having bad manners in Spanish is thought of as having bad education. For every Bruta/o , there are a hundred with proper manners.

 

[SteveK]

Aguaita...That was Awesome...couldn't have said it any better!:classic:

 

[MerengueDutchie]

It may have a lot to do with the company one keeps amd how one behaves.

My family and friends are very plite and courteous.

 

[jd426]

In many ways most Dominicans are extremely polite and courteous. For example, children here are taught to greet people politely and answer their questions, unlike kids in other countries where they blank you while their parents shrug helplessly. In other ways they are not so polite, especially in the way in which many people interrupt and talk over each other.

English speakers often criticise Spanish speakers for not saying please, because they miss the subtlety in the way polite requests are formulated in Spanish to convey "please" without actually saying it. There is also the use of "usted", "don", "do?a" etc. to convey respect that does not exist in English.

Very good Point, it does exist in Europe as well, in German for example DU, and SIE would be the exact same comparison..
One would never address a grandmother or the family Matriarch with DU , always Sie (much more polite).. Du is very abrasive and suggests you are = to or even above the person.. but would be fine while speaking with a friend, or to a Waiter where it would be in fact strange to say Sie.
... Other Latin languages use a variation of Donia as well like in Rom. we used it .. it is a sign of Respect.. which any child or young person should know.
I think it is slowly fading away however in the younger generation. whereas the DR is still keeping it up..

 

[jojo2130]

I have to comment as this is a bit of a former pet-peeve of mine. After 11 years here and in the DR , I have to say I have stopped letting it bother me. I see it like eposters here say as well, no thank you's at an appropriate time when for us its normal , like after a purchase at a tienda or when I relinquish right of away to a motorist, never wave of thank you. BUT on the other hand as some have pointed out, for exampole I had a minor surgery last month and almost everyone knew and most came to visit to wish me well, even many that don't visit so often. I love how Dominicans greet the whole room and never pass on the street without saying a genuine hello or ask about the family. When you walk own a tourist beach for example the Dominican's will almost always say Hola or Buen dia but most tourists and foreigners walk past staring at the sand.
Living here in Gaspar Hernandez for all of these years , I see Dominicans greeting each other and having a moment all over town, every day. The town is always bustling and everyone is always waving and smiling and taking that moment to interact. I don't consider it a lack of manners, I consider it all a cultural difference. Like they probably find it rude that we don't greet the room or say a welcoming hello to strangers as we pass or stop for a moment to ask about their family. My Dominican wife is one of the most gentle and kind people I have every known and though she tries to remember , its not a reflex for her, its more of a compliance to my requests to say please and thank you.........usually she remembers. I have tried to make her speak to our children using manners, and promised her better results , but they love her either way. And by the way, my kids seem to have adapted to both, as kids do, displaying a different mannerism when i am in the room ! LOL.

 

[jojo2130]

Yes and a couple of weeks ago , my brother in law referred to his Mom (My suegra) as VIEJA I told him to apologize and not to talk that way to her, especially in front of my kids, and he looked at me with a tilted head asking why???? when SHE chimed in and said no ,no no , you don't understand...... Its a term of respect and carino ............ go figure............ If i ever called my Mom Old lady or Old one ........... well......it wouldn't be pretty ............

 

[Harleysrock]

I think it is just cultural differences, I am almost used to the non thank you's, budging in lines etc... I am sure they find me pointing at things rude. Meh ya gotta get used to it or well it sux for you!

 

[the gorgon]

WE CAN SAY THE SAME ABOUT americans or canadians : No one say "Good morning or anything" when you approach
at any time. When they're talking do not stop to acknowledge your presence etc...
The culture teaches to IGNORE you at all times but are totally friendly with PETS... Just. figure this one!!

i could not have said this better myself...

 

[Lobo Tropical]

yes , I think it is a question of age in the USA and elsewhere also. I used to have an appalling habit of judging people by their table manners ..It was quite a good test but as there were so many failures I gave it up !!

One could also judge people by the company they keep.

 

[keepcoming]

Words we as expats may find offending are often terms of endearment for Dominicans. I always believe lead by example. Saying please, thank you, your welcome, etc... My nieces and nephews all know that unless there is a please and thank you then they can forget it.

 

[bob saunders]

WE CAN SAY THE SAME ABOUT americans or canadians : No one say "Good morning or anything" when you approach
at any time. When they're talking do not stop to acknowledge your presence etc...
The culture teaches to IGNORE you at all times but are totally friendly with PETS... Just. figure this one!!

Not where I come from in Canada, people are in general very polite and friendly. Manners were extremely important to my parents. Most people in most cultures don't stop in the middle of an important conversation to acknowledge a newcomers presence. Most Dominicans certainly don't. Of course many Dominicans will interject themselves into the conversation, and yes most North Americans will think this is very rude.
I try to go with the flow and not get upset by things that annoy me, although it's hard to hide your annoyance. Dominicans are without doubt closest to the rudest drivers in existence. I often wave pedestrians across the road and my Dominican wife tell not to as it confuses them.

 

[Ecoman1949]

Not where I come from in Canada, people are in general very polite and friendly. Manners were extremely important to my parents. Most people in most cultures don't stop in the middle of an important conversation to acknowledge a newcomers presence. Most Dominicans certainly don't. Of course many Dominicains will interject themselves into the conversation, and yes most North Americans will think this is very rude.
I try to go with the flow and not get upset by things that annoy me, although it's hard to hide your annoyance. Dominicans are without doubt closest to the rudest drivers in existence. I often wave pedestrians across the road and my Dominican wife tell not to as it confuses them.

First time I drove through the POP malecon, I stopped to let a couple cross in the crosswalk, I was almost rear ended. I heard the screech of tires behind me and got the one finger salute from the driver of the car behind me. Being a courteous driver here has its risks. Lesson learned.

 

[bonao99]

Very good Point, it does exist in Europe as well, in German for example DU, and SIE would be the exact same comparison..
One would never address a grandmother or the family Matriarch with DU , always Sie (much more polite).. Du is very abrasive and suggests you are = to or even above the person.. but would be fine while speaking with a friend, or to a Waiter where it would be in fact strange to say Sie.
... Other Latin languages use a variation of Donia as well like in Rom. we used it .. it is a sign of Respect.. which any child or young person should know.
I think it is slowly fading away however in the younger generation. whereas the DR is still keeping it up..

To add to this You would not say Usted to someone slightly older than You. It will make Him feel old. Male friends would address
the friend wife/or friend's mother in law as La do?a same for women friends.

Dominicans kids in the US called older people Tu until corrected by their Parents, in DR is always Usted.

Bonao99

 

[bienamor]

First time I drove through the POP malecon, I stopped to let a couple cross in the crosswalk, I was almost rear ended. I heard the screech of tires behind me and got the one finger salute from the driver of the car behind me. Being a courteous driver here has its risks. Lesson learned.

Now now this is my new form of entertainment. Love hearing the horns honk while I let everyone that wants to cross goahead also try to make sure when I stop that they can't go around me. My old form was watching dominican drivers try to parallel park. Even though that is part of their drivers test. great fun.

 

[Ecoman1949]

Now now this is my new form of entertainment. Love hearing the horns honk while I let everyone that wants to cross goahead also try to make sure when I stop that they can't go around me. My old form was watching dominican drivers try to parallel park. Even though that is part of their drivers test. great fun.

It's only fun till you lose control of your bladder or bowels! Six years of renting cars here and driving country back roads have steeled my nerves. Still try to be as courteous as possible. Even helped one DR lady learn to drive. Taught her the basics around the roads at the old resort in Luperon. I'm using the term roads here loosely. Getting her to buckle up was the hardest part. She took private lessons after that and was grateful I gave her the confidence to do it. She buckles up and drives with some courtesy so it's one driver at a time I guess.

 

[Jaime809]

First time I drove through the POP malecon, I stopped to let a couple cross in the crosswalk, I was almost rear ended. I heard the screech of tires behind me and got the one finger salute from the driver of the car behind me. Being a courteous driver here has its risks. Lesson learned.

DR is not the only place you shouldn't stop like that.

 

[rfp]

It is a quasi failed state with very little functioning public infrastructure, 90 % of people even at the highest echelons of society come from non functioning families. Is there any wonder as to why people are insular and have no interest of the well being of others ?

 

[Derfish]

It is a quasi failed state with very little functioning public infrastructure, 90 % of people even at the highest echelons of society come from non functioning families. Is there any wonder as to why people are insular and have no interest of the well being of others ?

Not quite sure what meaning you are attaching to Insular, but I feel the people here care a lot more about each other's well being here than anywhere else I have ever been or am aware of.
Der Fish

 

[Criss Colon]

Now, before y'all go gettin all wrapped around the axle, please understand that this is not an indictment against all Dominicans. I'm simply speaking of the ones generally come into contact with.
Ex; gf will say, "send me photos of xyx". And I'll shut her down with a "no". She will ask why, and I explain that its because she didn't ask properly (not the first time). "but I asked you to send me the photos correctly". At that point, I simply move onto another subject, and in true dominican fashion the issue of the photos is quickly forgotten.

It is a cultural thing that the words please and thank you are virtually non-existent, or am I missing the mark altogether? Call me an a-hole, but this chaps my ass like not much can.

"Manners" have to be "TAUGHT"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
End of story.

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[mofongoloco]

"Manners" have to be "TAUGHT"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
End of story.

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Clearly, you skipped that class!