Do Dominican women make good wives?

[POPNYChic]

Based on experience of both? :surprised

LOL funny!

well, i havent been married to a dominican man OR woman but growing up this was the usual scenario: loyal, martyr housekeeper/wife who held down the entire household vs. often abusive, unfaithful, tyrant of a husband. thats not to say it didnt vary but that was the general gist of the countless couples i came across.

therefore i hold the same views: there are more decent dominican women than dominican men due to our cultures machismo. this doesnt mean all dominican men are bad or that all dominican women are good...just that the scales are definitely tipped due to the common man/woman dynamics.

 

[JFD]

there are more decent dominican women than dominican men

My point exactly, and after now a few years in this country i strongly feel it's a fact.

 

[ExtremeR]

LOL funny!

well, i havent been married to a dominican man OR woman but growing up this was the usual scenario: loyal, martyr housekeeper/wife who held down the entire household vs. often abusive, unfaithful, tyrant of a husband. thats not to say it didnt vary but that was the general gist of the countless couples i came across.

therefore i hold the same views: there are more decent dominican women than dominican men due to our cultures machismo. this doesnt mean all dominican men are bad or that all dominican women are good...just that the scales are definitely tipped due to the common man/woman dynamics.

Hahahahaha, you would be surprised, I learned the contrary the hard way. There's a reason the Dominican man sometimes acts a tyrant as you call it, if he doesn't do that he wouldn't get any respect from his partner. Hard to understand it but it is like that.

Even though there's really good gems out there, Dominican women are really good at posing what they aren't specially before you give them any kind of power.

 

[ExtremeR]

Responding the OP question: Yes, there are good Dominican women, but you have to know where to look for them. If she comes from a good family is a start, also have in mind where you meet the lady in fact. If it was in a club or bar and you get the sense that everbody knows her in that place stay away. If you met her in another place (the street, the bank, shopping) them give her a try and refer to point No. 1 - Family. Pay close attention as how they talk with their girlfriends, the tone of voice and the subjects, if you only hear materialistic stuff out of their mouth stay away, do the same , stay away (for marrying purpose, if for fun the story is different).

Watch closely how she reacts when she gets mad and how she treats her family when mad, the same will happen to you when you marry her.

These are just a few tips, will add more when I get more time.

 

[Lando calrisian]

After seeing one in action for more than 3 decades,(my mother) my answer is hell to the yes.

Good wives and partners, my brother in law is a gringo from Ohio and he loves his Domincana, he even talks spanish Dominican style. Double hell to the yes.

 

[jrhartley]

so basically the answer is yes and no ...... now can anyone answer how long is this piece of string I am holding ?

 

[Vacara]

11 years, already, and no complaints worth airing. Observation #1 - Dominican women in general are very feminine. My wife is compassionate, independent, strong willed, and intelligent - none of these charaterictics are related to her being Dominican. Her lack of imagination when it comes to food - this is related to her being Dominican.

This post probably deserves its own thread. Please elaborate Bob.

 

[POPNYChic]

extremeR, in a sense i agree w you as well. i think we all know some dominican women who seem to require some "wrangling" (though i wouldnt advocate that either). thats why i said it definitely varied and its not a "rule" or anything.

however, being that dominican society accepts (and even celebrates) lots of bad male behavior and looks down severely at women who do the same, undoubtedly it tips the scales somewhat--more men are free to do as they please and comparatively less women do the same. this doesnt mean there arent all kinds anyway LOL

 

[RacerX]

Hahahahaha, you would be surprised, I learned the contrary the hard way. There's a reason the Dominican man sometimes acts a tyrant as you call it, if he doesn't do that he wouldn't get any respect from his partner. Hard to understand it but it is like that.

Even though there's really good gems out there, Dominican women are really good at posing what they aren't specially before you give them any kind of power.

I agree, I experience when these women talk about their guys about how they seem to demean his masculinity because he was crying or something. I tell them "Well, he cares about you a lot. It would be different if he beat you all the time just for breathing too much or something." To me it means that they are so self-centered that they cant see a good thing for what it is. Doesnt matter much anyway as I dont take them seriously after you encounter that. So with that I tend not to believe that "the men are awful but the women are saints" recantation.

Almond Joys got nuts, Mounds dont. So there are good women and bad women out there. As well as men. I think the women get a pass because of beauty so they can hide the beast within them until they have the guy engaged a little.

If you want to know what she is about, listen to what she talks about when you are with her. Dunderheads talk about dunderhead stuff. What does she do when you are at her place? Read a magazine in the dark? And what does she want to do when she is with you? Ir a compras?

And you can never go wrong with the DeNiro example from a A Bronx Tale. Here you cannot always see if she will open a door for you, but you can see if she offers you food when you go to her house or to cook for you at yours. Does she offer to wash/iron your clothes. Junk like that.

I met some also who were all "You aint...." "You aint..." Hey "I aint" coming back so dont worry about much.

 

[brooklolly]

White or Black Americans with Dominicans

We have a support group on Facebook called American and Hispanic Latino couples. We like to hear experiences from other Whites or Blacks who are married to Dominicans.

Welcome to Facebook

 

[anthony]

It worked out well for me. Im an American that traveled to Puerto Plata over 10 years ago and fell inlove with a beautiful Dominican woman . Long story short , we got married 2 years later then brought her here to New York . She is the best thing that ever happened to me ( along with our wonderful son )

 

[Lambada]

before you give them any kind of power.

So assuming we're not talking electricity :cheeky: doesn't this somewhat presume that the male could & should hold 'the power' & at some point he decides whether to allow some of it to be shared.........??

You know, I was engaged in the struggle against notions like this back in 1961. Seems like retirement is not in sight yet.............:laugh:

Does she offer to wash/iron your clothes. Junk like that.

Does this mean you think that's always a good thing, RacerX? Would it surprise you to know that there are some men who would be horrified if the lady arrived at his home and started offering to do the washing etc, because they are perfectly capable of doing this themselves.

Remind me which year we're in again, please, folks.

 

[Allesandra]

The first step is admitting that you have a problem

You know, its not easy to acknowledge a characteristic that you don't like, and confront it. I admire and respect your candor. Although my exposure to dominican people is limited (I have visited DR only twice, and my brother's ex-wife is Dominican) I do agree that there does seem to be some emphasis on money and "things." However, I didn't get the impression that that this was the core nature of the dominican people. I fell in love with your country and your people while I was there. As a black American woman, I felt at home in DR, and they seem to be a hard working and dedicated bunch of people that have made the most of the little resources at their disposal. Don't be too hard on them, or yourself. I think you're wonderful people and I look forward to visiting again.

I have American and European friends who have asked me this question. Honestly, I have been quite negative lately on all things Dominican even though I am Dominican.

So to be fair to my friends, I'd like the DR1 community to voice their opinions on this. Then my friends can read it here for themselves and make up their own mind.

My counter points are that generally speaking many Dominican women are quite materialistic, selfish and not predisposed to being the lovey dovey type. Many men also fall into this genre myself included. I am working diligently to change that behavior though. It is an ugly trait.

Those out there in DR1, please prove me wrong.

 

[Onions/Carrots]

Responding the OP question: Yes, there are good Dominican women, but you have to know where to look for them. If she comes from a good family is a start, also have in mind where you meet the lady in fact. If it was in a club or bar and you get the sense that everbody knows her in that place stay away. If you met her in another place (the street, the bank, shopping) them give her a try and refer to point No. 1 - Family. Pay close attention as how they talk with their girlfriends, the tone of voice and the subjects, if you only hear materialistic stuff out of their mouth stay away, do the same , stay away (for marrying purpose, if for fun the story is different).

Watch closely how she reacts when she gets mad and how she treats her family when mad, the same will happen to you when you marry her.

These are just a few tips, will add more when I get more time.

Excellent response, succinct and to the point. Why do so many guys fail to notice these key points?

 

[RacerX]

So assuming we're not talking electricity :cheeky: doesn't this somewhat presume that the male could & should hold 'the power' & at some point he decides whether to allow some of it to be shared.........??

You know, I was engaged in the struggle against notions like this back in 1961. Seems like retirement is not in sight yet.............:laugh:



Does this mean you think that's always a good thing, RacerX? Would it surprise you to know that there are some men who would be horrified if the lady arrived at his home and started offering to do the washing etc, because they are perfectly capable of doing this themselves.

Remind me which year we're in again, please, folks.

I was making a reference to being hospitable. The woman who(lets assume was a wee bit similar to you) made every act of hospitality a challenge to her independence wouldnt be the woman most men would want to see, repeatedly. I didnt say she should be obliged to wash your underwear in the kitchen sink on the first date. But lets remember the objective from the question posted was to find a "long term" companion. And I will say flatly, I aint getting combative with no woman. Screw that, I ll buy a dog....one of them wiener dogs.

And by the way, its 2010 in North America but its still 1950 here. Many women here look forward to being a housewife as if the current economic state could support that sentiment. This is a symptom of poor education and a lot of gossip/fairy-taling going on.

 

[cobraboy]

My wife doesn't cook. She has the ability but hates to. I, however am an excellent cook. I cook, she cleans, we all eat.

That is a deal!:cheeky:

I agree about cooking inagination. Maybe it's because I've always been a good cook (thanks, Mom CB...who bought me my first clothes iron and own ironing board @ 12), but I end up doing most of it. Otherwise we'd have chicken cooked in a pot with rice a LOT.

Actually Alida really, really liked eating in her first visit to the states. Especially the Thai and Chinese.

But on topic: Dominicans make wives as good, if not better than other nationalities. It just depends on what each other is looking for in a mate.

But certainly seems to me (in general) Dominican women enjoy being a woman more than their American counterpart. Family and children come way before career and radical feminism bona fides. And I suspect that's one reason many American men like them.

I don't like competing with a mate. I'd much rather have a mellow, harmonious life with her. I look for a compliment, not adversary.

 

[Lambada]

And I will say flatly, I aint getting combative with no woman.

Splendid. If it is an 'equal' type of relationship there is no need for anyone to be combative.

I was making a reference to being hospitable. The woman who(lets assume was a wee bit similar to you) made every act of hospitality a challenge to her independence wouldnt be the woman most men would want to see, repeatedly.

There is a difference between being hospitable (either party) and the issue I mentioned above. I was talking about men who shudder inside when the woman only values herself in a domestic role and sees herself as having domestic skills to offer. I believe most men would actually like a little more than this, otherwise they would settle for a housekeeper :cheeky:.

And what makes you think I make every act of hospitality a challenge to my independence, h'mmm ? I won't bore you with the domestic household functions I routinely perform, in a mutually respectful, equal relationship but I don't only value my domestic abilities & more importantly, neither does my partner.

And yes, I agree in some respects it is 1950 here but I also see a lot of change in that. In the nearly 18 years I've been living here I have seen many Dominican women who had not had the advantage of educational opportunities, realise that some of their home management skills are translatable to community organising, for example. Look at the leading lights in many barrio Junta de Vecinos..................women.

 

[cobraboy]

"Equality" in a relationship gets to be defined by the two people in the relationship.

Men who "shudder" over a woman who chooses to be domestic and nurture children shouldn't be in a relationship with her. And a woman who chooses to be a breadwinner, eschewing domestication, should not be with a man who wants a more "traditional" woman as his wife.

I WILL say this: many, many gringos who live in the DR and are possibly married or in a LTR with a Dominicana say this: they LIKE the more traditional role MANY Dominicanas STILL enjoy. They have had enough of the PC uber-career bitches from the first world. They find the kind of quiet harmony they seek with a latina.

One trait I've noticed, even within high-level career women I do businees with in the DR: unlike their American counterpart, they STILL enjoy their family-focused "traditional" role of wife, mother and chief home domestic. Many career women in the states do NOT enjoy the more "traditional" role. And those American women tend to be the ones who complain about lack of available men. They never analyze the ~why~ men avoid them...or they're in denial.

But don't listen to me. I'm just a linear-thinking small-brained Neanderthal...:cheeky:

 

[RacerX]

Lambada said:
"I was talking about men who shudder inside when the woman only values herself in a domestic role and sees herself as having domestic skills to offer. I believe most men would actually like a little more than this, otherwise they would settle for a housekeeper."

And I m one of these guys. I wouldnt compare her to a housekeeper because you have to pay them. But a piece of furniture is more appropriate.
And the rest of it? Cobraboy was right, give that guy a Tony. "Equality" in a relationship gets to be defined by the two people in the relationship." Its true. The question should be what is it about "these" women make better partners in a relationship than "those" women? And then fill in the blanks for these and those.
I cant say allll American women are deranged because some Southern women take the cake, especially them Carolina girls and those Maryland girls. Virginia girls, Georgia girls are ok too. But NY women, hahahahahahaha! Screw that! If everything you want to do with a woman sounds like you re about to lose some teeth, noooooo way Felipe! Get fat by yourself with your cats, your magazines with pictures of tea cups and leather couches and your luxury SUVs. This is your sanky demographic right here.


"These" vs "those" to me is like this: 1. kind and gracious with a lot of humility vs. obsessed lunatics who complain about everything. Why do "those" complain about the lack of available men? There are plenty of good men out there but the thing is some of them arent good enough for what those women dreamed of having. So they accept nothing less(which really means they accept nothing). Reminds me of that Bag Lady song by Erykah Badu.

And I m a "Bro"-Magnon.

 

[cobraboy]

And I m a "Bro"-Magnon.