Very interesting topic. Having worked in a domestic violence shelter stateside, I can say that I have seen women from different socioeconomic backgrounds. It is just more of a secret the higher the dollars in the bank account. I am glad to see that the DR laws are doing (or trying to do) something about this epidemic. But as we all know, it involves more than just saying the woman needs to get out of the situation. After working on a project where as a social worker we went out with the police on domestic violence calles and after, I can tell you that there are some screwed up people out there. Do whatever you can to get involved, but be SAFE.
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Domestic Violence
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old boy this is interesting post domestic violence. okay for myself I can say I do not get involved with any domestic disputes. not because I am a coward or anything like that only because it doesn't pay. nine times out of 10 the woman will end up back with the abuser. and you end up getting your ass kicked or worse.:I do not like seeing anyone abused. and that goes with physical or mental. but I have seen it too many times. where you get involved in the next day the woman and man are back together for whatever reasons. okay at this time I like to tell you guys a little story. when I was younger I had a friend and his mother and father Faw all the time. one-day my friend get in between his mother and father fighting. doing their fighting my friend got stabbed by either his mother a father accidentally. of course they stop fighting a carry them to the hospital. to tend to his wounds. thank God he was OK but about a month later the fighting began again and again and again. and as far as I know there are still fighting to this very day. PS also I take offense to the word low class barrio girls. my girlfriend lives in a barrio. which does not mean that she is low class. even though she is poor. I don't know if you guys are mixing up low class with poor. but it seems to me that you're grouping everyone that is in the barrio as one type of person. that many people live in a barrio that are hard-working people. maybe someone can tell the difference between low class and high-class. or maybe they are just talking about themselves. as having no class
Que se puede decir......
The person needs to feel like "I will do my part because I believe in it and whatever happens after that is out of my control".
I posted, also, a long time ago, about an incident that happened between my Dominican brother-in-law (RIP) and me.
Since my sister decided to date and then marry him, and me knowing what SOME Dominicans are capable of doing to their girlfriends/wives, while in the DR, I invited him, my then g/f and my sister to "Casa Del Mofongo" in El Malecon.
As soon as we sat, I asked my sister and then g/f to please give us a second because I needed to talk to him.
I went straight to the point and told him something like this:
"Some Dominicans guys have this unpleasant reputation that they like to hit their girlfriends and/or wives, so let me tell you that "RRR" has 6 big brother who WILL defend her with their lives. I don't know who you are and I don't know if we will even become best friends but let me tell you that if I ever hear you raised a hand and hit my sister, I WILL hop into a plane, come here and I will grab a bat and beat the hell out of you. If after that, she decides to go back with you, that's ok with me. Even if she decides to never speak to me again, that's ok also, But just know that even if she or you never speak to me again, every single time to touch her, I WILL look for you and beat the hell out of you. Oooh, and by the way, I am the least violent of my brothers".
AFTER that and as time went by, we became very good friends.
We bacame so good friends that he always took the time to remind me how afraid he was of me, even since I had my little talk with him!!.
See, these people SHOULD be made aware that there are people out there who WILL defend their sisters, mothers, female family members and female friends!!. .
If they are indeed abusers, a "little talk" WILL make them mad. BUUUT:
If they are not abusers, they will NOT get mad since there's nothing to worry about.
Again, these sick bastards are nothing more than cowards....
When confronted with: "man don't hit women, why don't you hit me, a man", see how fast they lower their heads and walk away from you!.
If a person gets involved because he wants to make himself feel better, that's the wrong reason to do it.old boy this is interesting post domestic violence. okay for myself I can say I do not get involved with any domestic disputes. not because I am a coward or anything like that only because it doesn't pay. nine times out of 10 the woman will end up back with the abuser. and you end up getting your ass kicked or worse.:I do not like seeing anyone abused. and that goes with physical or mental. but I have seen it too many times. where you get involved in the next day the woman and man are back together for whatever reasons. okay at this time I like to tell you guys a little story. when I was younger I had a friend and his mother and father Faw all the time. one-day my friend get in between his mother and father fighting. doing their fighting my friend got stabbed by either his mother a father accidentally. of course they stop fighting a carry them to the hospital. to tend to his wounds. thank God he was OK but about a month later the fighting began again and again and again. and as far as I know there are still fighting to this very day. PS also I take offense to the word low class barrio girls. my girlfriend lives in a barrio. which does not mean that she is low class. even though she is poor. I don't know if you guys are mixing up low class with poor. but it seems to me that you're grouping everyone that is in the barrio as one type of person. that many people live in a barrio that are hard-working people. maybe someone can tell the difference between low class and high-class. or maybe they are just talking about themselves. as having no class
The person needs to feel like "I will do my part because I believe in it and whatever happens after that is out of my control".
I posted, also, a long time ago, about an incident that happened between my Dominican brother-in-law (RIP) and me.
Since my sister decided to date and then marry him, and me knowing what SOME Dominicans are capable of doing to their girlfriends/wives, while in the DR, I invited him, my then g/f and my sister to "Casa Del Mofongo" in El Malecon.
As soon as we sat, I asked my sister and then g/f to please give us a second because I needed to talk to him.
I went straight to the point and told him something like this:
"Some Dominicans guys have this unpleasant reputation that they like to hit their girlfriends and/or wives, so let me tell you that "RRR" has 6 big brother who WILL defend her with their lives. I don't know who you are and I don't know if we will even become best friends but let me tell you that if I ever hear you raised a hand and hit my sister, I WILL hop into a plane, come here and I will grab a bat and beat the hell out of you. If after that, she decides to go back with you, that's ok with me. Even if she decides to never speak to me again, that's ok also, But just know that even if she or you never speak to me again, every single time to touch her, I WILL look for you and beat the hell out of you. Oooh, and by the way, I am the least violent of my brothers".
AFTER that and as time went by, we became very good friends.
We bacame so good friends that he always took the time to remind me how afraid he was of me, even since I had my little talk with him!!.
See, these people SHOULD be made aware that there are people out there who WILL defend their sisters, mothers, female family members and female friends!!. .
If they are indeed abusers, a "little talk" WILL make them mad. BUUUT:
If they are not abusers, they will NOT get mad since there's nothing to worry about.
Again, these sick bastards are nothing more than cowards....
When confronted with: "man don't hit women, why don't you hit me, a man", see how fast they lower their heads and walk away from you!.
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Had you taken a bit of time to try to understand, it wouldn't have been necessary to take that "no class" shot.. PS also I take offense to the word low class barrio girls. my girlfriend lives in a barrio. which does not mean that she is low class. even though she is poor. I don't know if you guys are mixing up low class with poor. but it seems to me that you're grouping everyone that is in the barrio as one type of person. that many people live in a barrio that are hard-working people. maybe someone can tell the difference between low class and high-class. or maybe they are just talking about themselves. as having no class
When someone refers to a low class barrio girl, it's because she is not only a barrio girl, but low class too.
Now, my last 2 girlfriends lived and live in barrios, and certainly neither is low class, and far from it.
Perhaps you will take more time to think next time, before you attack folks for using the term "low class".
You need not worry about us.
We do know what it means, and use it when applicable.
Had you taken a bit of time to try to understand, it wouldn't have been necessary to take that "no class" shot.
When someone refers to a low class barrio girl, it's because she is not only a barrio girl, but low class too.
Now, my last 2 girlfriends lived and live in barrios, and certainly neither is low class, and far from it.
Perhaps you will take more time to think next time, before you attack folks for using the term "low class".
You need not worry about us.
We do know what it means, and use it when applicable.
tell em rocky..AZB didnt even post in the thread!!!
I think my gf is from the campo.....not a barrio...but I am not really sure of the difference...
but she has some class....
she gasps when I use bad spanish words and gets totally embarrased....
and she hides when I get mad in town.... she doesnt want to be seen with me....she is the best!!!
it took me days to get her to tell me the word for the womans privates... and then in the end , it wasnt the word that my coworkers used!!!!
I guess there is the nice way to describe it and the gutter way!! ha ha ha
maybe i am looooooow class..
No I cant be ..i fly first class all the time!!!
bad bad bob
I agree 100% Bob.tell em rocky..AZB didnt even post in the thread!!!
I think my gf is from the campo.....not a barrio...but I am not really sure of the difference...
but she has some class....
she gasps when I use bad spanish words and gets totally embarrased....
and she hides when I get mad in town.... she doesnt want to be seen with me....she is the best!!!
it took me days to get her to tell me the word for the womans privates... and then in the end , it wasnt the word that my coworkers used!!!!
I guess there is the nice way to describe it and the gutter way!! ha ha ha
maybe i am looooooow class..
No I cant be ..i fly first class all the time!!!
bad bad bob
That being said, I took a look at eztime's previous posts, and he seems to be a very decent polite guy, and I should have bit my tongue and PMed him, which I would have done if I hadn't reacted so quickly and had taken the time to investigate a bit.
Anyhow, I PMed him to apologize.
I'm sure he simply misunderstood how we were using the term, and he took offense.
Be aware than the women beat the men too. I have treated lots of men with deep nail scratches to the face, machete cuts etc. One of the reasons that Dominican men like European or North American women is that we don't fight as much as Dominican women! I have seen women fighting other women too - I don't condone in any way a man hitting a woman for any reason ever, but nor do I condone a woman beating sh*** out of a man, or their kids. My step kids were badly beaten by their previous stepmother including cigarette burns, and broken bones. The first question my now husband asked me when we were thinking whether he and the kids would move inwith me was would I ever hit the kids. He had her imprisoned for 6 months for what she did to them. Violence is often their only solution (they think) when they are unable to communicate and it is used far to readily here by all sides
matilda
matilda
Unfortunately, too true.Be aware than the women beat the men too. I have treated lots of men with deep nail scratches to the face, machete cuts etc. One of the reasons that Dominican men like European or North American women is that we don't fight as much as Dominican women! I have seen women fighting other women too - I don't condone in any way a man hitting a woman for any reason ever, but nor do I condone a woman beating sh*** out of a man, or their kids. My step kids were badly beaten by their previous stepmother including cigarette burns, and broken bones. The first question my now husband asked me when we were thinking whether he and the kids would move inwith me was would I ever hit the kids. He had her imprisoned for 6 months for what she did to them. Violence is often their only solution (they think) when they are unable to communicate and it is used far to readily here by all sides
matilda
but can we say that no matter where we come from, and how we lived our life there, and want to bring that to the DR...that the DR has developed its own culture and way of life.
And there are many things that are genuinely dominican that counter how we were raised in our own countries...
and that to some extent....we have to accept it.
I mean this country has highly educated people running it...even if they are a little corrupt...
they live there too!!! and they KNOW how life is... and they have done little in reguards to addressing it nationally......so it doesnt rate...OR is just a fact of life
I know that wont sit well with a lot of women...because the DR is male dominate...period.
and they for the most part( males) are not on the short end of the stick...so why make a big fuss
its true..no matter how much the rest of you jump up and down and spew your political( americanized versions) correctness.
so if you go to the DR and you are a male...kiss as many women as you possibly can and spread the good loving around!! ha ha ha
bob
And there are many things that are genuinely dominican that counter how we were raised in our own countries...
and that to some extent....we have to accept it.
I mean this country has highly educated people running it...even if they are a little corrupt...
they live there too!!! and they KNOW how life is... and they have done little in reguards to addressing it nationally......so it doesnt rate...OR is just a fact of life
I know that wont sit well with a lot of women...because the DR is male dominate...period.
and they for the most part( males) are not on the short end of the stick...so why make a big fuss
its true..no matter how much the rest of you jump up and down and spew your political( americanized versions) correctness.
so if you go to the DR and you are a male...kiss as many women as you possibly can and spread the good loving around!! ha ha ha
bob
If a person gets involved because he wants to make himself feel better, that's the wrong reason to do it.
The person needs to feel like "I will do my part because I believe in it and whatever happens after that is out of my control".
I posted, also, a long time ago, about an incident that happened between my Dominican brother-in-law (RIP) and me.
Since my sister decided to date and then marry him, and me knowing what SOME Dominicans are capable of doing to their girlfriends/wives, while in the DR, I invited him, my then g/f and my sister to "Casa Del Mofongo" in El Malecon.
As soon as we sat, I asked my sister and then g/f to please give us a second because I needed to talk to him.
I went straight to the point and told him something like this:
"Some Dominicans guys have this unpleasant reputation that they like to hit their girlfriends and/or wives, so let me tell you that "RRR" has 6 big brother who WILL defend her with their lives. I don't know who you are and I don't know if we will even become best friends but let me tell you that if I ever hear you raised a hand and hit my sister, I WILL hop into a plane, come here and I will grab a bat and beat the hell out of you. If after that, she decides to go back with you, that's ok with me. Even if she decides to never speak to me again, that's ok also, But just know that even if she or you never speak to me again, every single time to touch her, I WILL look for you and beat the hell out of you. Oooh, and by the way, I am the least violent of my brothers".
AFTER that and as time went by, we became very good friends.
We bacame so good friends that he always took the time to remind me how afraid he was of me, even since I had my little talk with him!!.
See, these people SHOULD be made aware that there are people out there who WILL defend their sisters, mothers, female family members and female friends!!. .
If they are indeed abusers, a "little talk" WILL make them mad. BUUUT:
If they are not abusers, they will NOT get mad since there's nothing to worry about.
Again, these sick bastards are nothing more than cowards....
When confronted with: "man don't hit women, why don't you hit me, a man", see how fast they lower their heads and walk away from you!.
Miguel - You sound like a great brother and I am sure your sister, whether she told you or not, was secretly proud you did that for her!
Strangers usually don't like to get involved but for family it should be a no brainer. Abuse is horrible and whether you are a woman, child or even a man, it shouldn't be tolerated and the abusers should have to face stricter laws.
I haven't heard of actual shelters but I mentioned this in an earlier post - NGOs like Profamilia, Mujer y Salud, and Colectiva de Mujeres del Cibao, and several prominent lawyers like Susi Pola all deal with the issue, campaigning about domestic violence and providing hands-on support for victims.
The government has the Ministry for Women running campaigns, there is a Procaduria de Mujeres - a special District Attorney's office for women's legal issues - in Santo Domingo, and a network of special centres like the one on Ave. Betancourt in SD where witnesses or victims can go and report domestic violence and child abuse.
The government has the Ministry for Women running campaigns, there is a Procaduria de Mujeres - a special District Attorney's office for women's legal issues - in Santo Domingo, and a network of special centres like the one on Ave. Betancourt in SD where witnesses or victims can go and report domestic violence and child abuse.
campo people are more humble.I think my gf is from the campo.....not a barrio...but I am not really sure of the difference...
you must be born with class is not something you learn and from the little I know about her she does have class.but she has some class....
she gasps when I use bad spanish words and gets totally embarrased....
gringo loco :cheeky: and she is a woman who would never fight in public or curse or yell in public.and she hides when I get mad in town.... she doesnt want to be seen with me....she is the best!!!
hehehehe I know exactly how she feels.it took me days to get her to tell me the word for the womans privates... and then in the end , it wasnt the word that my coworkers used!!!!
I do not understand why peoples, use the "cultural thing" to saythat it is aceptable to hit a woman. There should be no excuse to hit a woman period.
Porque.......
Why?......Because MANY much rather make an excuse than to get involved!!.
Why?......Because MANY do NOT care about others, even if it happens to members of their family!!.
Why?......Because MANY much rather wait for someone with big cojones (not like them) to get involved!!.
The "WHY?" list is endless.
You know that they say in Spanish:
"Desde que se invento la excusa, NADIE es perfecto!!" ("Since the excuse was invented, NODODY is perfect!!").
Why?......Because MANY much rather make an excuse than to deal with the problem!!.I do not understand why peoples, use the "cultural thing" to saythat it is aceptable to hit a woman. There should be no excuse to hit a woman period.
Why?......Because MANY much rather make an excuse than to get involved!!.
Why?......Because MANY do NOT care about others, even if it happens to members of their family!!.
Why?......Because MANY much rather wait for someone with big cojones (not like them) to get involved!!.
The "WHY?" list is endless.
You know that they say in Spanish:
"Desde que se invento la excusa, NADIE es perfecto!!" ("Since the excuse was invented, NODODY is perfect!!").
well both of you need to go to Iran and work as cultural care workers...you will get the most bang for your buck.
thats how they live and they would rather blow themselves up that listen to you tell them they should live differently...and they dont care about being politically correct( at least YOUR version of that term)...you obvioulsy could care less about THEIR version of politically correct!!!
people have developed their way of life over generations!!!!!!
dont call everyone that recognizes that it is against their will to force YOUR views on them...as being BAD and part of the problem
the problem is people who want everyone to be JUST LIKE THEM!!!
thats how I see it any way... and it doesnt mean I accept abuse to women..
bob
thats how they live and they would rather blow themselves up that listen to you tell them they should live differently...and they dont care about being politically correct( at least YOUR version of that term)...you obvioulsy could care less about THEIR version of politically correct!!!
people have developed their way of life over generations!!!!!!
dont call everyone that recognizes that it is against their will to force YOUR views on them...as being BAD and part of the problem
the problem is people who want everyone to be JUST LIKE THEM!!!
thats how I see it any way... and it doesnt mean I accept abuse to women..
bob
Bob, wtf? It is not 'part of the culture' any more than it is part of the culture in any other country. It is a social problem, caused by a range of factors that Dominicans themselves recognise needs to be addressed. Just like it needs to be tackled, to a lesser or greater extent, in practically every country on earth.
tu, tiene razon, Miguel
but, it does **** me off, when no one do something about it, just a few like you and i. Matter of fact, every time we have get together with family and friends, i tend to emphasized about domestic violence.
Why?......Because MANY much rather make an excuse than to deal with the problem!!.
Why?......Because MANY much rather make an excuse than to get involved!!.
Why?......Because MANY do NOT care about others, even if it happens to members of their family!!.
Why?......Because MANY much rather wait for someone with big cojones (not like them) to get involved!!.
The "WHY?" list is endless.
You know that they sat in Spanish:
"Desde que se invento la excusa, NADIE es perfecto!!" ("Since the excuse was invented, NODODY is perfect!!").
but, it does **** me off, when no one do something about it, just a few like you and i. Matter of fact, every time we have get together with family and friends, i tend to emphasized about domestic violence.
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