- Thread starter Kathty
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Dominican Postal Service dilemma...
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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/AQGXa3FiXKM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>.....................
yes, a temptation to go into a long rant on sankies is strong on this one. i cannot even side with alterego because hell, i have never passed more than 24 hrs without being in touch with miesposo, not even when one of us travels abroad. we always find effort to communicate. heck, my parents have no internet and i have no roaming so i take a ride to the city center just to spend half an hour in an internet cafe...
all i could say in my defense is that every time i think of my usual smart ass response i remember the thread from the guy who did not hear a while from his brother in santiago and came to DR only to find out his brother was killed in an accident...
Do you mean if the guy wasn't up to something she would have the phone number of at least SOMEONE in the family ????
OR
Did you mean if something had happened SOMEONE in his family would have remembered he had a wife ?????
My family is from Africa, I could get in contact with ANYONE within, at worse, a couple of days, so it is very hard for me to understand "a silence" of 3 weeks in DR
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Flying below the radar
The hubby, if he had any kind of real attachment to his wife would have made contact phone numbers available to her, the mother or other family member. A responsible hubby would have contacted his wife after a reasonable length of time to assure his partner of his well being.
Yet, when does a Dominican demonstrate responsibility ?
Suspect there is other activity and he is flying below the radar on purpose.
Regards,
PJT
The hubby, if he had any kind of real attachment to his wife would have made contact phone numbers available to her, the mother or other family member. A responsible hubby would have contacted his wife after a reasonable length of time to assure his partner of his well being.
Yet, when does a Dominican demonstrate responsibility ?
Suspect there is other activity and he is flying below the radar on purpose.
Regards,
PJT
Some people are suggesting that he hasn`t called her because he might be too busy fooling around with other women. What I`m saying is that a guy in this situation will call the wife, at least once, and make her believe he`s being attentive to her, so that she wouldn`t be suspicious of his activities.
I know, I can't say that I didn't think the same things after reading the OP's posts. But I also know that it's harder being the one who's left behind than the one who is traveling. Several years ago, two of my female cousins and I went to Italy for a few weeks. We made no hotel reservations, we just landed, rented a car, and off we went, driving all over from the Adriatic to the Mediterranean. We never called home, not once. Well, one of them did call home on her son's birthday. No one could reach us, because we had no itinerary. Our husbands were fine with that, they know we're three independent NYC born-and-raised women.
So why is that so very different than the OP's situation?
When we're in NJ, we talk to our daughter and grandsons every day. Sometimes several times a day. Our son, not so much. When we go to DR, both of them are afraid and worried about us, sure someone is going to kill us in our sleep. In DR I sometimes go whole days without even turning on the computer, never mind checking in with them. Several days sometimes pass before I plug in the MagicJack or open Facebook to leave a message that we're still alive. DR does that to you.
I agree it doesn't look good that 3 weeks have passed. I'm curious how she addressed the envelopes, because she didn't even have the correct spelling of the city he went to. She initially said he was in Santo Domingo - but that's probably because a lot of Dominicans refer to the whole country as Santo Domingo. Then she said Francisco Macori [I think the mod corrected it for her]. I question whether the mail even COULD be delivered without a proper address.
Which doesn't explain why he hasn't called or e-mailed his wife.
It defies explanation. If he's playing her, he'd call. If he loves her, he'd call. If he doesn't love her but has the tiniest shred of consideration, he'd call.
Something may have happened to the guy or he's planning on never seeing the OP ever again.
I opt for one of the 2 following:
1. he has met untimely demise similar to another recent very sad post about a missing person, we hope not the case.
2. Hes leaving the OP and is a spineless loser afraid to even call her and tell her, "Listen, I've fallen in love with Maria, I know shes 25 years my junior but really it like I'm 25 years younger, we're in Love, really" so I'm leaving you.
g'luck
otherwise probably best bet is if you know somebody here to hire a PI with a locals help, to hopefully learn the truth spelled out in #2
1. he has met untimely demise similar to another recent very sad post about a missing person, we hope not the case.
2. Hes leaving the OP and is a spineless loser afraid to even call her and tell her, "Listen, I've fallen in love with Maria, I know shes 25 years my junior but really it like I'm 25 years younger, we're in Love, really" so I'm leaving you.
g'luck
otherwise probably best bet is if you know somebody here to hire a PI with a locals help, to hopefully learn the truth spelled out in #2
Ok I`ll give you an example. There was this guy who got a job in another town. He would live there during the week and go back home on fridays. A few weeks after he starts working there, he starts telling his wife how boring this town is, how shameless the women are how the place is filled with prostitutes. He keeps warning her that she shouldn`t go there because there are many whores in this town. This is the city of sin and no decent lady should go there!
All of sudden, the wife, who had absolutely no interest in going to that place, thinks this is all too weird. One day she shows up unanounced and finds out that he was engaged to a local girl.
Many times, when a Dominican male is with his woman, he tends to trash other women just to make her feel confident. If he sees a lady with a tramp stamp and he?s like "Wow, what a trashy woman", the truth is he might actually be into tattoos.
If he sees a short girl pass by and he stares at her and says that he doesn`t like short women, it`s very probbable that he does have a thing for short girls.
Sometimes you hear a guy talking about how ugly a girl is, and later you learn that he`s he`s tried to date her.
If a guy is fooling around, and he wants things to be cool with his wife back home, he will call his her and tell her how how much he misses her, how he`s dying to go back home, and perhaps throw in a little comment dissing the local ladies . That`s very common!
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i do not know, alterego. maybe it is the time you have been married: it is either murder or a convenient trip with friends to cool off 
all i know it that i cannot imagine 3 weeks with not a single word from miesposo, unless he was on a trip to the south pole (who knows what mysterious force would drag him there, he already has the only pole he needs). i just need to know all is well. with how crazy driving in DR is i need a message or a call every day when he is out travelling on business. and whenever i have to drive to santiago or cabarete i also give him a call to say that i arrived or i am leaving to go back home.
of course, after 20 or 30 years together i may just snap, like my mom, who calls dad affectionately diarrhea because she thinks he is a real bother asking for dinner when she is watching reruns of betty la fea...
all i know it that i cannot imagine 3 weeks with not a single word from miesposo, unless he was on a trip to the south pole (who knows what mysterious force would drag him there, he already has the only pole he needs). i just need to know all is well. with how crazy driving in DR is i need a message or a call every day when he is out travelling on business. and whenever i have to drive to santiago or cabarete i also give him a call to say that i arrived or i am leaving to go back home. of course, after 20 or 30 years together i may just snap, like my mom, who calls dad affectionately diarrhea because she thinks he is a real bother asking for dinner when she is watching reruns of betty la fea...
i do not know, alterego. maybe it is the time you have been married: it is either murder or a convenient trip with friends to cool off
of course, after 20 or 30 years together i may just snap, like my mom, who calls dad affectionately diarrhea because she thinks he is a real bother asking for dinner when she is watching reruns of betty la fea...
Well, we're both married to Dominicans, but remember the huge age gap, maybe we were all just raised differently. You are the age of our children. Our daughter and her husband are like you and your husband.
We're baby boomers. We're independent sorts, neither of us has a 'needy' gene. We've reached the stage in our life where we almost read each others minds. We have a good life together, but we each have other lives and interests. If he went to DR and I didn't hear from him for a week at a time, I'd be okay with that.
Tomorrow is Mr. AE's birthday, he'll be 65. Where did the years go????
yeah, i don't know where it all came from since my parents both run away from their parents and never maintained much of a contact with the family. but if my dad does not come back home for dinner my mom is worried that he got drunk and had an accident. especially in the winter... come to think of it my parents have never been apart on holidays in 39 - damn, 40 years this year - of their marriage...
Then there are those in-between. I'm of the "Call when you can, if I don't hear from you by next Friday, I'll start worrying". It really depends on what kind of agreement they have. The fact that she's come to the forum obviously means she's concerned, based on her expectations.
Still can't understand why she would expect a letter to get there. I just can't imagine a Dominican telling her to write him if she needed to. Which also makes me wonder his ties to the DR, was he more raised in the US and doesn't speak Spanish or understand the country at all? In this day and age, too many people have cell phones for you not to get a message to someone.
If he's hurt, we're insensitive, if he's not and just went incommunicado, he's scum.
Don't know if we've lost the OP, but I'm hoping for a positive outcome for her.
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