all is not as it seems of the surface!!
I love the DR for many reasons, but most of all for the familly component.
In North America and Europe we have "Retirement Homes" where we park our parents so that people can take care of them.
I have not seen this in the DR, famillies take care of their old parents. They do this with love and respect in most cases. Old parents will help with the children and participate in the familly life, they don't sit in an aseptic room waiting to see il they will have a visit from their children.
We have alot to learn from Dominicans.
I used to think like this and wish we could return to a less complicated lifestyle which is more family focused but often it's often not because people in US and Europe dont care and just park their parents but that they have moved areas for opportunities (encouraged by their parents who have pushed for their education and bigger and better opportunities) and as in many cases both parents go out to work for the improved lifestyle that more cash offers for themselves and their own kids the 'growing up years' are more family focused - but don't be fooled and think things would be the same in DR if they had more opportunities and a better economy and a better education - in better off families there is often a nurse maid to help! Culture is only at the root of this because there is not many choices and it used to be the same in US and Europe but things change and adapt.
To be truthful the only thing i have learnt from my dominican husband of 11 years and many of his friends is that he - and only some of them send money home to mum as is expected by them - in his case subsidised by me! but he and they do nothing else but expect aunts, sisters or neighbours (rarely men) to help and do the caring and if god forbid anyone dies or is seriously ill they nearly ask their friends (well the ones who've abandoned their gringo families for a street lifestyle) to help with money (no saving ever going on) so they can go home - which always involves some partying and not sitting by bedsides mopping brows and doing housework.
my husband has shown no respect for me or my family and even on the day of my dad's funeral was calling a latina to say te amo and when my mum had a severe stroke a few weeks later he was busy doing the business with her whilst i was looking after my mum with him shouting abuse at me when I cried and complained about the other woman who was equally disrespectful
I also think many abuse their exended families by getting them to look after their kids whilst both the men and women are out partying, living with other partners who dont want to bring up another persons kids (there is a lot of resentment in this area with families suffering because of dads philandering) - and as is often the case, living in another country looking for an opportunity, which often means marrying a gringo
i used to visit a friend in DR (not very well off or educated but ok people) and never knew whose kids were whose but whilst the adults sat around drinking and talking about music and showing off their mobile phones and taking photos of themselves, the oldies were cooking and cleaning anf the kids had nothing to play with, nothing to do and no one to talk to - there seemed to no interest shown in their education, no books for them to read and pens for them to draw. the most entertaining thing expected of them was to wiggle their asses to music.
the old people i know who are too infirm to care for the family will i know be cared for by their families (as will any disabled or mentally handicapped which most families seem to have) but for the rest who are just getting on in years and still healthy are dumped on to do the cooking, cleaning and caring
at least our fit old people have a chance to have a second wind like recycled teenagers and do enjoyable things for themselves - it's about balance and giving everyone the chance for fullfilment :ermm:
