Latino Men (especially Dominican) and white women

[deelt]

Not to say that some inter-racial relationships are not genuine. But to me their is a problem when a pattern exists. The OP sounds to me more like a fleshing out Latino fetish vis-a-vis white fetish. To me these cultural-type fetishes are insulting and those that fall into it are all about self-hate.

fet·ish also fet·ich Audio pronunciation of "fetish" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ftsh, ftsh)
n.

1. An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.
2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
3. Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
4. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.

In the attached article below if we change Asian for Latino and switch negative stereotypes I think it would fit into this discussion nicely.
http://www.modelminority.com/article935.html

 

[Yari]

Great article. Thanks deelt.

In the attached article below if we change Asian for Latino and switch negative stereotypes I think it would fit into this discussion nicely.
http://www.modelminority.com/article935.html

 

[Talldrink]

I have been told that American men (both white and black) who are attracted to black features usually like Caribean women (I.e. Cuban, PR, Dominican) because they have the curves, the hair, and the 'spice' they are looking for and sometimes cannot find it in American women.

**I know this is a vague post, but I'm trying to be as politically correct as possible, forgive me if I wasnt!

 

[deelt]

Yari and TD

Yari- thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. Do you think there is some truth to it? Personally, I do. A lot of it comes down to "how will my children look like?" or some crazy "mejorando la raza" skewed thinking.

To Talldrink:
True that. But old-school Latinas are also more likely to be less demanding (than both white and African-American), less argumentative and just take what's given. They also tend to be more mothering...cook every night and are apparently comfortable being worked like a hebrew slave...etc. I see all that as power dynamics in a relationship.

I would just be curious to look at data on this. My theory is that in genuine x-Latin relationships (not fetish induced) the men actually contribute to the housework more and participate more in the childrearing. That it in fact would be a more equal relationship based on respect, because both are professionals, etc. But like I said this is just my theory.

I have been told that American men (both white and black) who are attracted to black features usually like Caribean women (I.e. Cuban, PR, Dominican) because they have the curves, the hair, and the 'spice' they are looking for and sometimes cannot find it in American women.

**I know this is a vague post, but I'm trying to be as politically correct as possible, forgive me if I wasnt!

 

[Talldrink]

Deelt - I do believe we are more mothering and homemakers. I was raised this way - yes in this day and age, I was 'taught' to take care of the man in the house and 'keep' him happy - in all sense of the word!! Whatever it takes to keep him happy, day in and day out. It is part of our culture and it is part of what makes us the way we are. This is where our passion comes from too - we do all that we do and we will not let just anyone take what 'belongs' to us just like that.

This post actually goes back to another trend. The Latinas marrying American men becuase they in turn have been on their own for some time - thus they can actually wash a spoon and know what Clorox is for. Unlike most Dominican men who went from their mother's house to living with another woman.

 

[Larry]

Deelt - I do believe we are more mothering and homemakers. I was raised this way - yes in this day and age, I was 'taught' to take care of the man in the house and 'keep' him happy - in all sense of the word!! Whatever it takes to keep him happy, day in and day out. It is part of our culture and it is part of what makes us the way we are. This is where our passion comes from too - we do all that we do and we will not let just anyone take what 'belongs' to us just like that.

I, as a white American, definately think that Latinas make better homemakers, make better mothers, make better wives and in general are more loving than American white women. Talldrink talks about keeping a man happy as part of a womans responsibility and she is right. Todays white American woman is too concerned with making "something" of herself. Oprah Winfrey tells her that is she does not have a successful career where she is making alot of money then her life is a failure. Thats what todays white American woman hears. She is not worried about making her husband happy. She dosent attend to his needs. Then she wants to know why her marriage fails. More and more white American men are either going through life single or going out with women from other cultures. White American women are no longer what a woman is supposed to be.

Larry

 

[Yari]

Yari- thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. Do you think there is some truth to it? Personally, I do. A lot of it comes down to "how will my children look like?" or some crazy "mejorando la raza" skewed thinking.

I definitely think that there is truth to it & it was nice to see it from the perspective of someone from another culture. The mejorando la raza way of thinking is not restricted to Dominicans as we can see. What people don't understand when they think in that way is that they are in fact hating themselves and also giving credence to the belief that there is a higher, & purer race!!

 

[Yari]

White American women are no longer what a woman is supposed to be.

Larry

Goodness gracious:tired: ...Why do men always find a way of squeezing in this argument?? White women aren't the only ones who have woken up & smelled the coffee. Women all over the world have realized that we don't have to live our lives just for a man. Why cant there be a balance? Stop taking women for granted. We are people with desires to be things other than a housewife. What is so wrong with that?? Men like you are just intimidated by a strong woman!!

Yari

 

[mofi]

I, as a white American, definately think that Latinas make better homemakers, make better mothers, make better wives and in general are more loving than American white women. Talldrink talks about keeping a man happy as part of a womans responsibility and she is right. Todays white American woman is too concerned with making "something" of herself. Oprah Winfrey tells her that is she does not have a successful career where she is making alot of money then her life is a failure. Thats what todays white American woman hears. She is not worried about making her husband happy. She dosent attend to his needs. Then she wants to know why her marriage fails. More and more white American men are either going through life single or going out with women from other cultures. White American women are no longer what a woman is supposed to be.

Larry

Interesting you could also make a similar argument about white men.

 

[Larry]

Interesting you could also make a similar argument about white men.

Really? I am not sure how. White men have always taken the same role in the family, that of the man. Now our wives are no longer wives and mothers, they are lawyers, and executives who put in 50 hour weeks. The husband never sees his wife. The children never see their monther. When they do, she is too tired to be a mother..she just microwaves something for herself to eat and then rests up for the next day. White women are all about success and beoming "equals" with their male partners. Latinas, on the other hand, still know how to act like a woman and give their husbands and children what they need....a wife and a mom.

Larry

 

[Larry]

Goodness gracious:tired: ...Why do men always find a way of squeezing in this argument?? White women aren't the only ones who have woken up & smelled the coffee. Women all over the world have realized that we don't have to live our lives just for a man. Why cant there be a balance? Stop taking women for granted. We are people with desires to be things other than a housewife. What is so wrong with that?? Men like you are just intimidated by a strong woman!!

Yari

Hmmm...Yari, I think you might make a good wife. I would just have to put some manners on you first. You have potential though.

Larry

 

[Ricardo900]

hahahaha

Hmmm...Yari, I think you might make a good wife. I would just have to put some manners on you first. You have potential though.

Larry

Let's bring Yari back to the homeland for some re-education:laugh: :laugh: We'll clean her up and she'll make a perfect wife.

 

[Yari]

Hmmm...Yari, I think you might make a good wife. I would just have to put some manners on you first. You have potential though.

Larry

lol, I give up!! It's ironic that today, Dr. Phil's topic is this very same topic!!

 

[Larry]

lol, I give up!! It's ironic that today, Dr. Phil's topic is this very same topic!!

Listen to DR. Phil, he is a good man! I'll bet you a million dollars he is saying the exact same things I did.

PS---Don't worry Yari, next time you come to Santo Domingo, come see me and I will put some manners on you.

 

[Talldrink]

Larry, actually Mofi is right, you CAN make the same argument about white men...

 

[Larry]

Larry, actually Mofi is right, you CAN make the same argument about white men...

Whats the arguement?

Women are supposed to keep the household together while the husband goes around being the man (drinking, girlfriends, gambling, sports, having fun with buddies, etc.) As long as the man provides for his family, he gets to enjoy a mans extracurricular activities. Now that women want to be out in the workforce 55 hours per week, there is no one to take care of the household and kids. Also, no one to have the mans dinner ready when he comes hom from wherever he was.

See my point?

Larry

 

[Yari]

See my point?

Larry

ummmm no!!
so when does the man take the time to actually be a father to his children. It's a reason why so many of us are screwed up. Because men like yourself have this attitude & leave everything, including ALL OF THE CHILD REARING, to women.

 

[Larry]

ummmm no!!
so when does the man take the time to actually be a father to his children. It's a reason why so many of us are screwed up. Because men like yourself have this attitude & leave everything, including ALL OF THE CHILD REARING, to women.

Not true. We take our sons to little league games and have the "birds and the bees talk" with them when the time comes. These are important fatherly duties.

Larry

 

[Talldrink]

Mofi, Yari, and the others... it will be a matter of time before Badpiece, AZB, Chucky and the others chime in this one too...

LET IT GO NOW WHILE YOU CAN AND BEFORE YOU GET YOUR PANTIES IN A BUNCH WITH THEM!!

Trust me, we've had this argument way too many times!

Talldrink - been there, done that...

 

[Yari]

Not true. We take our sons to little league games and have the "birds and the bees talk" with them when the time comes. These are important fatherly duties.

Larry

Excuse me, I forgot those two days out of the 18 years that you all took out of your lives to actually DO SOMETHING ...my apologies