Women who fall for Sankies

[CJnNJ]

Yes, my thoughts exactly. I just couldn't put it into words. There is one woman who keeps going back to the same resort and dating different guys.

Maybe this whole sankie thing is just a world that we will never understand, as there are so many different factors involved that I feel uncomfortable labeling either side as being worse than the other.

It may be very convenient to label all sankies as dirtbags or whatever, but the truth of the matter is we never really focus on the behavior of the women who consciously seek them out and how they behave when they are at these resorts.

I just do not think it is as cut and dry as some may want us to believe.

After reading many of the sankie stories, I have to agree. While no one deserves to be taken advanatage of, one has to question why so many women fall into this trap. There was an interesting article on the Kenyan version of male prostitutes, and the white british women who frequent them. They seem to realize this is about the sex, companionship, and $$$.

Why does it seem so many women come to DR and get all caught up in this emotional, financial drama?

Having looked at the facebook photos posted at the link above, the men are generally attractive, young, seemingly having fun, young, and young. So the next question would be are these young, fun loving, attractive men available to you in your home town? if not, why would anyone believe these men magically fall in love the minute you grace their resorts with your presence?

Again, while no one deserves or is looking to get taken advantage of, this song has been playing across many islands and countries where poor, generally brown skin men and women are available for a price.

I would welcome one of the sankies perspective on this. I'm sure that side of the story is quite interesting as well.

CJ

 

[Kyle]

in the words of an english speaking sankie i met once :

don't hate the player, hate the game....:laugh:

sankies have taken survivability to a new level...

 

[Rocky]

in the words of an english speaking sankie i met once :

don't hate the player, hate the game....:laugh:

they have taken survivability to a new level...

Tell that to the OP.
Calling what they do a game is just a slimy way of embellishing the truth, that they are low life scumbag con artists.
Anyone who says or thinks differently, has some moral and ethical problems... Big ones !!!!!

 

[CJnNJ]

Tell that to the OP.
Calling what they do a game is just a slimy way of embellishing the truth, that they are low life scumbag con artists.
Anyone who says or thinks differently, has some moral and ethical problems... Big ones !!!!!

I see it as a game where the tourists don't know what the rules are until it's too late.

I have neither moral nor ethical problems.. big nor small.

CJ

 

[Rocky]

I see it as a game where the tourists don't know what the rules are until it's too late.

I have neither moral nor ethical problems.. big nor small.

CJ

I see....
Like the bank robbing game, or the pedophile game or the rape game.
Yeah...
I get it.
It's just a game when the victims don't know the rules until it's too late.

 

[johnsantodomingo]

I saw an execellent Sanky movie on TV here the other day. It was a movie taking place in the Seventies in Haiti. It was these middleaged women from the US and Europe all in love with a locel Haitian Sanky and hanging out with them on the beach.

 

[AnnaC]

Play for pay?

Like we've said at least two million times here, that's fine if people know what they are doing. Play for pay? Who cares, we don't even need to discuss this topic but it's the con artist that makes women feel that they have a future together and she is the one and only in his life, that is the reason these forums exist.

Manipulative con artist taking advantage of women that want a relationship and are maybe caught at a vulnerable stage in life. Like after a divorce, end of a long relationship or death in the family. BS land sounds like such an escape in comparison and this is when a con artists makes his move.

 

[Musicqueen]

In reality I see it as the women being too damn naive...who in their right mind BELIEVES all this crap in only a few hours???

Vulnerable yes...I understand...but you have to be accountable for your actions also...if you believe in all those lines being fed to you...accept the consequences ...

The question women should post themselves when confronted with this should be:

Would I trust a guy BACK HOME telling me he loves me the same night we meet?

Maybe we should make this a sticky for the newbies...

 

[John Evans]

everyone like to be flattered I suppose.......even when a prostitute whistles at you lol.....hmmm for one moment I almost believed ........

 

[CJnNJ]

I saw an execellent Sanky movie on TV here the other day. It was a movie taking place in the Seventies in Haiti. It was these middleaged women from the US and Europe all in love with a locel Haitian Sanky and hanging out with them on the beach.

I think the movie you're referring to is Going South.

Haiti was a known sex spot for years. So see, the two sides of the island do have things in common

CJ

 

[johnsantodomingo]

On my second trip to Cuba I went with a group of people from Denmark for a salsa course in Havana. It was great fun. The group was full of middleaged Danish women. They where all professionals in Denmark. Intelligent and educated women. Typically leftwing and feminist which was very ironic. And they all fell in love with one of the dance instructors. It was very interesting to observe. It was all like an act. The Cuban lover would write poems, bring flowers and sing and dance for them. They loved it. Mostly it ended with them crying and being heartbroken. A huge drama. Which I think most of the time was an act to so they could justify the romance they had had. They would always buy them stuff. Gifts for him and the family etc. Seldom I think direct cash was involved.

 

[Berzin]

Tell that to the OP.
Calling what they do a game is just a slimy way of embellishing the truth, that they are low life scumbag con artists.
Anyone who says or thinks differently, has some moral and ethical problems... Big ones !!!!!

I don't agree with this. There are many subtleties that we are not privy to with these relationships. When you go somewhere and are feeling vulnerable and lonely, who is supposed to tell you that maybe that beautiful persons' intentions towards you aren't 100% genuine? And would you be in the frame of mind to believe them?

Have you, in your infinite wisdom ever thought why a young, good-looking chica would want to be with a tourist? Could you honestly tell me that you've never seen a tourist throw common sense to the wind knowing that this particular chica wouldn't look at them twice if she wasn't any combination of poor, desperate, manipulative and lazy?

And have you ever had customers come in with a prostitute on their arms and they are so smitten that they believe the chica is with them because they sincerely love them?

Ever try talking someone out of such a particular relationship? They more than likely would not want to hear it. If the person has a decent support system of friends who can talk sense to them more often than not those words will fall on deaf ears.

This is something that we never hear. We never hear any of these victims tell us that their friends did not approve of their relationships, as if they existed in some sort of vacuum.

Whenever I proclaimed that I had a dominican girlfriend almost to a man every single one of my friends told me it was a dumb idea and they told me why. Everything they said made perfect sense. Did I listen to them? No I did not. Would I consider myself a victim? No. A fool? Yes.

There is a level of naivety that cannot be excused by not knowing. We are all adults and did not suddenly appear fresh out of the womb. This is no knock on the OP, just clarifying my viewpoint.

 

[Janin]

Holiday With A Purpose?

Sankies are suave businessmen.
They exist as there is a demand for their services.

In their world you don't tell them to be good.... :tired:
They are always told to be good at it. :cheeky:

In most cases the right people meet and hook up.

Oh well, some wrap a love story round it.... :bunny:

Janin

 

[shadInToronto]

...Oh well, some wrap a love story round it.... :bunny:

But, the underlying reason is the exchange of money or 'gifts' for carnal pleasures :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

[Rocky]

Originally Posted by Rocky
Tell that to the OP.
Calling what they do a game is just a slimy way of embellishing the truth, that they are low life scumbag con artists.
Anyone who says or thinks differently, has some moral and ethical problems... Big ones !!!!!

I don't agree with this. There are many subtleties that we are not privy to with these relationships. When you go somewhere and are feeling vulnerable and lonely, who is supposed to tell you that maybe that beautiful persons' intentions towards you aren't 100% genuine? And would you be in the frame of mind to believe them?

Have you, in your infinite wisdom ever thought why a young, good-looking chica would want to be with a tourist? Could you honestly tell me that you've never seen a tourist throw common sense to the wind knowing that this particular chica wouldn't look at them twice if she wasn't any combination of poor, desperate, manipulative and lazy?

And have you ever had customers come in with a prostitute on their arms and they are so smitten that they believe the chica is with them because they sincerely love them?

Ever try talking someone out of such a particular relationship? They more than likely would not want to hear it. If the person has a decent support system of friends who can talk sense to them more often than not those words will fall on deaf ears.

This is something that we never hear. We never hear any of these victims tell us that their friends did not approve of their relationships, as if they existed in some sort of vacuum.

Whenever I proclaimed that I had a dominican girlfriend almost to a man every single one of my friends told me it was a dumb idea and they told me why. Everything they said made perfect sense. Did I listen to them? No I did not. Would I consider myself a victim? No. A fool? Yes.

There is a level of naivety that cannot be excused by not knowing. We are all adults and did not suddenly appear fresh out of the womb. This is no knock on the OP, just clarifying my viewpoint.

Why in the world do you quote my words and then go off on a tangent that had absolutely nothing to do with them?
I make 3 points.
1)That it shouldn't be called a game.
2) That they are low life scumbag con artists.
3) That anyone who doesn't think so, has moral and ethical problems.

Where in all those paragraphs do you address any of the three?

Please don't quote me when addressing other issues.

 

[WebDev]

I think the movie you're referring to is Going South.

Haiti was a known sex spot for years. So see, the two sides of the island do have things in common

CJ

I have to make a correction here:

Original title is "Vers le sud" (2005), the English title "Heading South" filmed mostly on Playa Bonita and Coson near Las Terrenas with some local talents. Franco-Canadian production on the cheap.

It's D.R. related!

WebDev

 

[Janin]

Haitian Competition

... "Vers le sud" (2005).... filmed mostly on Playa Bonita and Coson near Las Terrenas with some local talents.

Vers le sud - Bildergalerie, Postkarten

Haitian sankies entonces....ideal for the French 'love tourists'...

Janin

 

[CJnNJ]

I have to make a correction here:

Original title is "Vers le sud" (2005), the English title "Heading South" filmed mostly on Playa Bonita and Coson near Las Terrenas with some local talents. Franco-Canadian production on the cheap.

It's D.R. related!

WebDev

Yes. Heading South. I'm adding it to my NetFlix queue.

CJ

 

[Bijoux]

I read all posts generated by my original posting yesterday. I would like to put some perspective to my personal story.

1. I do not travel to the Caribbean often. And before knowing about this site, I knew nothing about Sankies…Did I believe that these local men/women would want to hook up with a stranger in hope of better life? Of course. Did I realize the length of the deception some go through? Of course not.
2. I was a fool. I tend to believe in the best of peoples. Until him, everyone I consider a friend is straightforward and loyal. Being deceitful and manipulative is not something I normally expect from the people around me. I do not intend to change this about me but I will not be fooled again...
3. I never dated him long distance. He was already in Canada when we started dating. We were talking and/or seeing each other daily. Like any other relationship I ever had.
4. While we were dating, we talked about everything, our past relationships and why they had not worked, our dreams, our life goals,...there was nothing different from any other relationship I ever had except one of us was acting in good faith, the other did not.
5. Did my friends warn me about him? Of course, they did. And I listened to them. They told me to make sure I was protected and then see where this went. I did not need them to tell me this as I was going to do just that. I met a stranger who told me about this site, and I listen. I came, read and educated myself. I was looking for signs, big time…I did not get married to the guy, I did not get pregnant, I got my house evaluated before he moved in, I made him see a lawyer and sign a contract protecting my financial situation.
6. Is his behavior unique to DR men/women? Absolutely not! I'm sure you know peoples who got cheated on by their partners...This type of behavior is not limited to poor peoples...no one is immune. I was simply lucky never to have run into such a scam before and that most, if not all, of my friends don't behave that way.
7. I was fully aware that we had more differences than similarities. To name a few: economic, cultural, academic, age, ....I was careful in my involvement, I was still using my head. But in a committed relationship, I will give myself 100% to it, otherwise what is the point.
8. Are there women/men who do not believe they can do better than a Sankie? Who have some dependence issues? Of course, there are. This is not my case.
9. Is it possible for a gringo/gringa to be in a committed relationship with a DR man/woman? I certainly hope so. The whole country can’t be filled with lying low life persons. I’m sure there are more than a few decent individuals in that country. Some of you are involved with them. Consider yourself lucky. If it was so easy to tell who is honest and who is not, there will be no problem. This always reminds me of the comment regarding women who get raped, they often say but he looks so nice. It is not written on their forehead. There is no caution sign with arrows pointing down to trouble.

I got out of the relationship when I thought it was not meeting my needs and my desires. I found out the dirt after the breakup. I find comfort knowing that each morning I can look at myself and smile. I like the person I see. I do not know how he can look at himself daily and feel good about it. But this is between him and his conscience.

Finally, I hope I will be able to trust another man again otherwise my sankie will win. And I don’t want him to win.

I admit it, I was not as savvy as others. I hope this shade some lights on my motives.

I am not a victim. My goal here was simply to present the perspective of a woman, hopefully articulated and grounded, who got fooled big time by Master Sankie. I went in the relationship in good faith. He did not. And he knew I thought he was in good faith. He lied and lied and lied until while after I asked him to leave. This is a bottomless hole...

If this helps one other person, I will be happy.

 

[sollie]

I stand impressed.

Sollie