And I recall mentioning good luck to you. Try to get a minor with a visa out of any airport or port in the DR without BOTH parents approval and you'll understand me
- Thread starter Anastacio
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Got a hooker pregnant, now she has turned really nasty.
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And I recall mentioning good luck to you. Try to get a minor with a visa out of any airport or port in the DR without BOTH parents approval and you'll understand me
In the DR if you don't have written consent from the mother that is also legalized by an attorney you can't take the child out of the country. Vice versa if it was a woman trying to take her son...father would have to give approval. It's the law.
I am at the stage where I have the birth certificate (and convincing the lady at the offices I was the father was not an easy undertaking either) I only need to legalize it and then I can have the Passport in a very short time.
I have considered just leaving with her and hiring a nanny to help out but have put everything on hold incase I need to accept supporting from a distance as it is just plain unsafe for me the be in the country with her making my life so difficult or dangerous.
I have paid for quite a few DNA tests (called ADN here) for Dominicans who found themselves in sticky situations. Usually when to me it was obvious the expected child or the actual child could not be theirs. (They appear not to know that pregnancies last 9 months!). Anyway the last one I paid for cost 14,000 RD$. Well - that is how much he said it cost, which could be a different matter!! As far as I know you can have them done at most hospitals - but I am sure that there are others on this board who know more than me about it.
Matilda
Thankyou Matilda, I have a ballpark figure now. I wonder on the accuracy of the returned report. I know when I left the country I had no idea she was pregnant as after 5 trips to the local clinic for bloods proved she was not pregnant, unless she only went though 7 months of pregnancy this couldn't be the case, so you see my problems with trusting certain medical tests/reports. Obviously this is alot of money for me to be throwing around so would prefer to get it right first time.
yea man, in order to get a United States passport both parents have to show up at the Consulate.
You re screwed bro, not because of the aggravation but because you dicked the wrong babe, that is your real problem. You cant make ho a housewife. ut you tried. Always look for the pitch which you werent.
Well if you got the funds get a lawyer here and protect yourself and your assets. If you re going to live here petition for custody of the child and hire a nanny. It wil the same cost as if you had to give this chick your dough. Or you could just leave DR and move to Trinidad or some other Carribbean paradise and leave this woman to raise the child alone(it may sound harsh but seriously folks he wouldnt be the 1st, internationally or domestically).
That is not an option, the child deserves better than what her mother will offer. And you are correct, I dicked the wrong girl, but this is not the childs fault. I don't have the cash but I suppose it will just all take a little longer for me to do as I find the cash as I go along.
Anastacio:
1. you must be a cop, cause only a cop can love a whore.
2. if you didn't think of a DNA test yourself, you're too dumb to do more complex stuff.
3. your homelife is just like being married. what's the problem?
1. you must be a cop, cause only a cop can love a whore.
2. if you didn't think of a DNA test yourself, you're too dumb to do more complex stuff.
3. your homelife is just like being married. what's the problem?
Haha, very good.
1. I have never mentioned loving a whore, quite the opposite infact.
2. It had crossed my mind, but I have decided I will support the child (I feel I am the only hope for a good life)and so finding out the child wasn't mine would only cause stress on a matter that isn't relevant on the initial outcome. If the mother plays serious bitch games then I may have to follow through with this to see if I have weight to balance her out a bit. Either way I am here for the child.
3. lol, accepted, maybe I do need to put up and shut up. I expect that if this isn't dealt with sooner rather than later it will at some point become violent rather than threatening, that is something I am not prepared to risk.
Anastasio if you just want to help the kid regardless if it's yours or not, just pay for his school and buy him clothes. Don't put your name on the kid's acta because that will bring a lot of unwanted problems that you may not understand right now. Really, follow everybody's advices here and don't get engaged just because, act intelligently.
The issue of child support is a tricky situation.
The problem being that the money you pay will be administered by the mother. From what you have described, she seems like a typical barrio rat with bad intentions for you. There is no doubt in my mind she will pass that on to the child, and that money will more than likely be misappropriated and not benefit your child.
If you split from her and leave her to raise your child alone, the poor kid is under the influence of this woman's lifestyle. She will teach the child the morals that she has, and no amount of deprogramming on your part will deter this brainwashing.
In other words, no amount of money you pay will stop this woman from raising your child to be an ungrateful tigre, resentful of anything you do for him because he will be programmed to expect more and more. Nothing you do will be good enough. Whenever he asks his mother why he doesn't have this or that, she'll blame YOU for being cheap even if it's not true. He'll grow up to resent the hell out of you.
The tendencies illustrated by the mother follows a completely predictable MO that I've seen a million times. These type of women all read from the same tired, worn-out playbook. It's all just a matter of catching out the right victim.
Just to let you know, the worst case, or in this case, the more typical scenario will be that even though you feel duty-bound to the child, the money you pay out won't make a difference. By the time he is 18 years of age, you are going to wonder how the money was spent because more than likely he will lead the lifestyle and have the morals of a young, poor Dominican tigre raised by a prostitute.
I do not envy you.
The problem being that the money you pay will be administered by the mother. From what you have described, she seems like a typical barrio rat with bad intentions for you. There is no doubt in my mind she will pass that on to the child, and that money will more than likely be misappropriated and not benefit your child.
If you split from her and leave her to raise your child alone, the poor kid is under the influence of this woman's lifestyle. She will teach the child the morals that she has, and no amount of deprogramming on your part will deter this brainwashing.
In other words, no amount of money you pay will stop this woman from raising your child to be an ungrateful tigre, resentful of anything you do for him because he will be programmed to expect more and more. Nothing you do will be good enough. Whenever he asks his mother why he doesn't have this or that, she'll blame YOU for being cheap even if it's not true. He'll grow up to resent the hell out of you.
The tendencies illustrated by the mother follows a completely predictable MO that I've seen a million times. These type of women all read from the same tired, worn-out playbook. It's all just a matter of catching out the right victim.
Just to let you know, the worst case, or in this case, the more typical scenario will be that even though you feel duty-bound to the child, the money you pay out won't make a difference. By the time he is 18 years of age, you are going to wonder how the money was spent because more than likely he will lead the lifestyle and have the morals of a young, poor Dominican tigre raised by a prostitute.
I do not envy you.
That may be a bit late. I have been to the offices, signed the dotted line along with our witnesses (who I didn't even know,shheeeesh I feel a little dumb when I think back on it), the entire thing was a bit of a blur and sort of taken out of my hands. I have not legalized the certificate yet, so I may leave this for a while until I get legal advice or at least have had time to rethink my options.
Others,
I thank you all for the advice, some of it really good and some just outright negative, I feel for the sakes of it, although yes, you do have alot of knowledge and I did ask for it. Not every case can be the same and I know not every child to be born to a prostitute and some ignorant guy such as myself has gone onto live a pointless and meaningless life. Surely my well meaning and hopeful attitude can go someway to making this a workable situation.
Again, I think this will take a while to play out
The OP said that she claimed to get a shot of Depo provera or other BC. He and the GF were also tested for STDs after 3 months. What more could he have done? Maybe watch as she got the shot?
That is hardly "one good way to look at this". :ermm:
So it is better that you both have nothing? :ermm:
Wouldn't it be better that she gets something as this would mean that you have something to give? :ermm:
How can you provide for this child if you are broke and unemployed?
How are you going to provide for yourself?:ermm:
This story could make for a good condom commercial. :cheeky:
I appreciate your concern for my financial security, but I am sure that I can support us until I make decisions, in which time I will have made decisions on where to take employment.
As far as the condom commercial goes, I consider my actions to be responsible and anything but care free and reckless. 3 month condom use followed by STD/STI tests (as advised by my doctor as the maximum incubation period) before moving onto alternative contraception is not the actions of a reckless idiot, rather someone who has made mistakes in trusting someone, we have all made mistakes, some bigger than others.
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