- Thread starter gringobachata7
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18 year old Dominican Stepchild in the USA
I honestly do not think it will make him better. I never met a person with the rotten heart that he is, it is very unique. WHen I met him, he was all skin and bones with no future or a father and I immediately began to support him but so far nothing has made him nicer to me. He loves and respects everyone but me!
irate::cheeky:
Tell them off!!!!
Have 3 stepchildren myself and when I moved here to also take care of them I told my wife as well as the kids that I'll take care of them till they're 18. If they show me that they're doing their best I'll support them if not it's the road. The oldest one is 15 and I must say they do their best.
My in laws I told them to f..k off, they respect me now, they might not like me but I don't give a damn I'm not here for a popularity contest.
I was also raised by a stepfather and I always respected him because he took better care of me than my biological father ever did.
My step kids are happy but they also have the common sense to respect what I'm doing for them.
Apparently your stepson nor your wife have that. Put your foot down otherwise you'll be in for a lot more trouble!!!!
Have 3 stepchildren myself and when I moved here to also take care of them I told my wife as well as the kids that I'll take care of them till they're 18. If they show me that they're doing their best I'll support them if not it's the road. The oldest one is 15 and I must say they do their best.
My in laws I told them to f..k off, they respect me now, they might not like me but I don't give a damn I'm not here for a popularity contest.
I was also raised by a stepfather and I always respected him because he took better care of me than my biological father ever did.
My step kids are happy but they also have the common sense to respect what I'm doing for them.
Apparently your stepson nor your wife have that. Put your foot down otherwise you'll be in for a lot more trouble!!!!
Please, please not another parasite that will not contibute anythng positive to our society and will only become another statistic.
Send him back to where he came from ASAP for your sake and ours.
No wonder the family keeps nagging at you, good riddance, they're probably happy you took him away.
Send him to DR and pay for his therapy maybe one day he can become a productive individual. That will be YOUR contibution to society.
Send him back to where he came from ASAP for your sake and ours.
No wonder the family keeps nagging at you, good riddance, they're probably happy you took him away.
Send him to DR and pay for his therapy maybe one day he can become a productive individual. That will be YOUR contibution to society.
He's no longer your problem if he is 18, working and living somewhere else. If he has permission to work, fine, let him work. Let him learn how tough life can be, and how good he had it until he blew it with you. He can worry about his own passport and his own permanent residency if that's what he wants.
If he hates the US so much, he'll go back on his own. Also tell your wife that your home is off-limits to this creep. Would you do any different if he was your biological son? I wouldn't until he shaped up.
If your wife continues to nag on you, then lay it down with her too - turn off the spigot, or go live with her son, or go back to the DR, but you're not going to take it from her anymore either. Tell the in-laws to go to hell, and phooey to the idea of supporting this parasite if he goes back to the DR too.
Some people don't appreciate what they have until they lose it, and they won't appreciate "nice" - show them what hard-ass looks like, and let them make their choices.
If he hates the US so much, he'll go back on his own. Also tell your wife that your home is off-limits to this creep. Would you do any different if he was your biological son? I wouldn't until he shaped up.
If your wife continues to nag on you, then lay it down with her too - turn off the spigot, or go live with her son, or go back to the DR, but you're not going to take it from her anymore either. Tell the in-laws to go to hell, and phooey to the idea of supporting this parasite if he goes back to the DR too.
Some people don't appreciate what they have until they lose it, and they won't appreciate "nice" - show them what hard-ass looks like, and let them make their choices.
Hes young and stupid i dont agree that shiping him off will solve the problem maybe in the short term but not the long term. You say yourself he was in a bad way when u met him .He sounds troubled to me maybe this has something to do with his biological father rejecting him maybe this is why he resents you and has problems accepting you as his father he is obviously crying out for help just not neccesarly doing it in the right way i think you need to work on breaking down boudarys.By shipping him back to DR you are actually contributing to his road of rejection and the situation will probably worsen.
Also as a mother myself i find a previous comment about the fact that you married your wife and not her son totally unacceptable when you married your wife you got a package and i would put NO man before my son EVER no matter how bad he was and it looks like your wife feels the same.
I know others will probably disagree with my comments but its just my take on it .
Also as a mother myself i find a previous comment about the fact that you married your wife and not her son totally unacceptable when you married your wife you got a package and i would put NO man before my son EVER no matter how bad he was and it looks like your wife feels the same.
I know others will probably disagree with my comments but its just my take on it .
Why do you want to send him back?? Is true that he was a punk with you, but he is already out of your house and living on his own. Is he in the USA with a visitor visa or with a residence?? If he is with a visitor visa, he will be illegal after 6 months of entering the US and will be deported if caught, if he has residence, you have no grounds to send him to the DR, the only way to do that is if he does some felony, do some time and then gets his residence removed, you don't have the power to remove him, even if you sponsored him. I'll say let him be on his own, maybe he is just a ni?o malcriado with lacks of manner, but at least he is already living in his own.
If you are helping him in any sorts, stop it right away, don't pay for any cell phone, his mother would help him anyway, so you don't have the obligation, you were good to him and he didn't appreciate it. I don't believe deportation will be the solution of your problem, but drastic measures are needed. I know every expat here believe deportation is the best solution, but I don't find that's the case, the kid hasn't done a felony in the US, he is just an extremely spoiled kid who needs a good spankin. How about you send him to the US Army?? That's what I would do, or send him to one of the tough loves camps.
If you are helping him in any sorts, stop it right away, don't pay for any cell phone, his mother would help him anyway, so you don't have the obligation, you were good to him and he didn't appreciate it. I don't believe deportation will be the solution of your problem, but drastic measures are needed. I know every expat here believe deportation is the best solution, but I don't find that's the case, the kid hasn't done a felony in the US, he is just an extremely spoiled kid who needs a good spankin. How about you send him to the US Army?? That's what I would do, or send him to one of the tough loves camps.
Cant
Unless he joins the army you cant send him same with a tough love camp those normally have some thing to do with incarceration. Good idea maybe, but when I was in the military did not really like serving with those types were never sure whos back they were covering
Unless he joins the army you cant send him same with a tough love camp those normally have some thing to do with incarceration. Good idea maybe, but when I was in the military did not really like serving with those types were never sure whos back they were covering
She is absolutely right! You can't possibly think that when you marry a woman, her children are not proverbially "part of the package."
But aside from that, a lot of these of people are right to say that you have demonstrated weakness as a man and that the boy and his mother probably don't respect you. One of the many reasons I decided that I'd prefer dating a dominican man who lives X amount of miles and a plane flight away is because I find that, despite their reputation for being unfaithful, these men demand and receive respect from their friends and family; they are strong and don't take sh*t from anyone... something many american men find hard to achieve...some because they're scared to, some because they don't know how. Decide which one you are and move on from there. Please know that if it's the former as opposed to the latter, you will be heading for divorce soon.
On another note, I have been considering moving to DR and plan to spend next summer there. I have been researching a lot of issues related to the adjustment phase of living in a foreign country. One of the things that I have found is that the adjustment process is much longer than one might expect. And as difficult or poor as his life may have been in the DR, there's no changing the fact that his coming here took him away from all that he ever knew. American teenagers act up with less of a reason. He doesn't have an american education, likely doesn't speak very good english or he may with a heavy accent, and unless you live in a neighborhood where this is common he's probably having a really hard time adjusting to everything (and by the way, probably having equally as hard of a time finding and keeping a job for the same reasons... you know one cannot live by themselves off of minimum wage in the states). I'm not sayinig he's right or that you should give him a break. But try to understand his position and put yourself in his shoes. Seek out a counselor for yourself and get a plan of action. Ignoring, forgetting or deporting him is not the answer you need.
Yea owl41, IT sounds like a good idea to take a 3-5 hour plane ride to be with a Unfaithful cheating Dominican man because the Barrio dweller unemployed loser gets respect from his fellow barrio tigaras.
Thats the problem with this 18 year old kid, and most of the lower class Dominican male population, they want and demand respect that is not warranted. The Dominican male can be standing in a barrio broke and homeless and still think he is the greatest thing since rice and beans.These males all try to demonstrate their supreme machoism that leads to their abuse and violance of women and children.
Owl41, Is the respect the reason you choose to come to the DR to date these respected Macho men, or is it that you are over 40 and come to the DR to date all those respected 20 year old hard body resort sankies?
Hm.. well... I can see how this is complete nonsense to an outside viewer... good thing I don't run my life but what other people think. I appreciate your opinion though.
In my humble opinion, I think that all men should garner and expect respect, regardless of socioeconomic class or other status. In my opinion, the breakdown of the man as the head of household or cornerstone of the family is the biggest culprit in divorce and abuse rates in America. May seem simple or old-fashioned, or ripe for abuse, but I like my men that way and I guess that's the risk I'm willing to take. I'd much rather that than having a man be subservient to me... and essentially not a man at all.
But please tell me rsg...what makes you think I'm over 40? And what makes you think that the Dominican man I am dating is in his 20's or younger than me? I suppose it doesn't matter. But if it makes you feel any better, neither of those assumptions is right.
In my humble opinion, I think that all men should garner and expect respect, regardless of socioeconomic class or other status. In my opinion, the breakdown of the man as the head of household or cornerstone of the family is the biggest culprit in divorce and abuse rates in America. May seem simple or old-fashioned, or ripe for abuse, but I like my men that way and I guess that's the risk I'm willing to take. I'd much rather that than having a man be subservient to me... and essentially not a man at all.
But please tell me rsg...what makes you think I'm over 40? And what makes you think that the Dominican man I am dating is in his 20's or younger than me? I suppose it doesn't matter. But if it makes you feel any better, neither of those assumptions is right.
Sorry Owel41 I was trying to give my opinion on why this young 18 year old is so out of controll. The Respect and male supremecy that you speak of should be earned and not giving to most of these males that go around having kids and not supporting them.How can the male be the cornerstone of the family when he has 5 chicas and hangs on the corner all day? Back on topic.....
This kis is ot of controll and should be sent back to the DR for his family to take care of. The OP May think that his marriage is good now, but watch when things really get out of controll with this kid, just watch how fast the wife shows her true colors and sides with her son over the husband.Just remember, blood is thicker then gringo husbands.
For his family?? his family is his mother which is in the USA, he already is of legal age and is already out of the house living in his own. Why is that now is more convenient to send him to other family rather than his mother, specifically the one that is in the DR? I believe that the main push here from every expat is not to help that troubled kid but to take him out of the USA ASAP, just because he fought with his stepfather. Not condoning that kind of action but the day will come when you'll want to deport every Dominican in the USA for sneezing without permission.
Agree to a point
agreed the kid is not a kid legally he is an adult as such, any problems are his own as he has moved out. you can help support if you wish, but passports or residence that is on him now. He is living on his own, he is earning his own money, and living his own life. Your problem will be with his mother. Makes no difference what creed or nationality he is his mother will normally side with her child!
The kid got there legally and as long as he is not breaking any laws there is no way he should be deported.
agreed the kid is not a kid legally he is an adult as such, any problems are his own as he has moved out. you can help support if you wish, but passports or residence that is on him now. He is living on his own, he is earning his own money, and living his own life. Your problem will be with his mother. Makes no difference what creed or nationality he is his mother will normally side with her child!
The kid got there legally and as long as he is not breaking any laws there is no way he should be deported.