5 Things I Learned From Ilana Benady's Dominican Culture Book.

[pollogringo]

Unfortunately in my 8 years of doing business in the country I have had a similar experience. Almost invariably the clients who want to wave their holier than thou flags are the mala paga's. Everything is amen, amen, except it seems their god doesn't believe in honoring your commitments. Many people use the name of God as a cloaking device which frees them and absolves them from playing by the rules of the sinners.

Amen. It's universal.

 

[Redscot]

Amen. It's universal.

I agree. Dominican's definitely do not corner the market on this hypocritical behavior.

 

[Criss Colon]

What's a "Social Faux Pas" in the DR?
Saying "Gracias" to anyone?
Paying for a meal?
NOT being a thief?
Not getting drunk?
NOT beating your wife?
Damn, I can't think of any!
LUCK YOU, Bob, your entire extended family are the "Salt of the Earth"!
Are your, and Chip's wife sisters???
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

 

[Aguaita29]

maybe true. however, as i posted before, i was once attacked by a drugged out Dominican with a machete one night. he attacked me, with no warning. the very Dominicans with whom i was conversing at the time just stood there and watched the guy try to kill me. had it been a situation in which i was hanging with my PR friends, and a crazy PR attacked me, i can assure you that they would have kicked his ass so hard he would have been wearing it for a hat.

I`m not having a contest on Dominican loyalty over Puerto Rican loyalty.If your PR friends have your back, that?s great! I?m just questioning your statement that Dominicans will back each other up solely on ethnicity. I think that what you have described is bystander behavior rather than taking sides due to ethnicity.

 

[the gorgon]

I`m not having a contest on Dominican loyalty over Puerto Rican loyalty.If your PR friends have your back, that?s great! I?m just questioning your statement that Dominicans will back each other up solely on ethnicity. I think that what you have described is bystander behavior rather than taking sides due to ethnicity.

can you give me a response to my posting regarding gringos and auto accidents?

 

[Aguaita29]

can you give me a response to my posting regarding gringos and auto accidents?

I think it?s more due to bystander behavior than anything else!

 

[the gorgon]

bystander behavior might be the answer. i was stopped at a traffic light one afternoon, and i saw this young guy beating the crap out of a young lady, right at the intersection. he finally decked her to the ground with a well placed right cross to the jaw. people just acted like nothing was happening. i hope the next time he chooses to beat a women like that , he will do it in midtown Manhattan. he will be introduced to an instance of bystander behavior.

 

[the gorgon]

I think it?s more due to bystander behavior than anything else!

so why is it they never side with the gringo?

 

[Redscot]

can you give me a response to my posting regarding gringos and auto accidents?

I agree with this one (and have had personal experience with it). But, it isn't too hard to extrapolate that when an accident of this sort goes down, the "average Joe" Dominican observing it is probably working class or less. Of the two anonymous participants in the accident the "Gringo" is the super power, and perceived to have it all. So, cultural bias aside, it is not hard to see why they would side against the big imperial have it all Gringo. There is enough cultural bias, and personal frustration in this instance that it isn't necessarily a case of Dominican always siding with his compatriot.

I grew up in NYC, and from a young age had many Boricua friends, and I don't think they distinguished themselves on the whole as being more loyal to me than their Dominican counterparts. It is a mixed bag on both parts from my experience. The caveat is how deep the relationship is.

 

[Koreano]

I finished reading this book a few days ago, and I finally got some time to post a review/analysis of it here on DR1:

Dominican Republic - Culture Smart!: The Essential Guide to Customs & Culture: Ginnie Bedggood, Ilana Benady: 9781857335279: Amazon.com: Books

I highly recommend this book and I've rated it 5 out of 5 stars. I rarely give books a perfect score but in this case I will make an exception......because it is a masterpiece. I can't find anything negative to say about this book, and it is an excellent guide for tourists and expatriates alike. I started this thread because I wanted to show, contrary to what some members here on DR1 believe, that the DR is a country of rules and laws, many of which are unspoken and unwritten. Gaining insights from a book like this will go a long way towards ensuring your stay in the DR is a pleasant one.

My Review and Analysis

When I moved to the DR, I knew the country was different from the U.S., but this book showed that the DR is far different than I originally thought. In fact, the author shows that the DR, in many ways, has more in common with Japan and other East Asian societies than its large neighbor to the north. Why do I say this? For one, the author shows that Dominican society, unlike American society, is collectivist. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, collectivism simply means a system where the group is more important than the individual. Most Americans reading this know full well that the USA is the opposite of a collectivist society, at least traditionally. The USA was founded on the principle of individualism and is thus the polar opposite of the DR. Japan, by contrast, is also a collectivist society where the group supersedes the individual. This was the first thing I learned from reading this book.

1. The Dominicans, Like the Japanese, have a concept of Face

Face is very important in Dominican society, and shares similarities with Japan. Dominicans don't like to lose face, so wise expatriates and tourists must learn how to ensure this doesn't happen.

2. The Dominican Republic is Essentially a Smoke Free Zone

This book revealed that smoking in public is taboo, and not done by Dominicans. This makes the DR distinct from Cuba and other Caribbean islands so smokers should be mindful of this.

3. Like the Japanese, Dominicans do not perform PDA(Public Displays of Affection)

Since I've been in the DR, I've rarely seen couples walking the street holding hands, or kissing and making out. This book revealed why. The Dominicans are again similar to the Japanese in that public displays of affection are frowned upon. So to visitors to the country, don't be surprised if you try to kiss or hold hands with your significant other, and they choose not to do so(this actually happened to me and I didn't know why at the time, since I hadn't read this book).

4. Charm and Connections are More Important than Knowledge When it Comes to Doing Business in the DR

In the DR, it isn't what you know, it is who you know. If you're a foreigner without local connections, your ability to charm will be more important than your knowledge.

5. Dominicans are very religious and spiritual, with a strong belief in God. If you don't hold such beliefs, keep them to yourself. If you're an atheist, never tell a Dominican.

I'm not religious(unless you consider making money to be a religion), and I'm indifferent to the existence
of God. However, this book taught me(I suspect the author is also non-religious), that if you hold such views, keep quiet about it. If a Dominican asks you about religion(they've asked me about it), never say more than you need to. You don't have to lie, but don't tell them you don't believe in anything. Keep your responses vague.

Strange...

Why n the world did author want to compare DR to Japan? It's true that they are both island country but similarity ends there. Either she wants to sell her book by saying pear is apple or she has no idea who are the people of Dominican Republic or Japan is, and decides to write fiction.

 

[bob saunders]

What's a "Social Faux Pas" in the DR?
Saying "Gracias" to anyone?
Paying for a meal?
NOT being a thief?
Not getting drunk?
NOT beating your wife?
Damn, I can't think of any!
LUCK YOU, Bob, your entire extended family are the "Salt of the Earth"!
Are your, and Chip's wife sisters???
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Most that I've met are pretty decent, and the ones that aren't I have been warned about. I personally have found out that, at least in the circle of Dominicans I know, that they tend to look out of Foreigners and keep them safe. I sorry you have found a different group of Dominicans.

 

[pollogringo]

i am constantly amazed how many guys end up with lying theiving bitches/// is that the opinion of Dominicans or expats?

seems that there should be at least fifty percent good women here

i mean... really?

I think a lot of Dominican women are wonderful people. My ex-wife is one of the most trustworthy, diligent and genuinely kind people I know. Why am I not still with her? There enters the other side of the issue. They don't have to be thieving, cheating or obnoxious to have problems. They've(many) been used and abused, taught that all men are untrustworthy, taught that they themselves are dumb and will never amount to anything, taught to shut down their emotions instead of talking about them. I remember sitting on the sofa with her mother giving her some very simple English lessons and she simply said "No puedo...soy bruta". Her daughter inherited/learned that self-image. When I asked her over the years why she didn't want to help with my business, she said she would mess things up. Always negative. Always down on herself. I tried to reverse that, but I learned in therapy that she could only break the cycle when she wanted to. In retrospect, I see that when I left my ex I did exactly what she thought I'd do all along. 'Because men are no good'. I fulfilled her prophecy.

 

[KateP]

Strange...

Why n the world did author want to compare DR to Japan? It's true that they are both island country but similarity ends there. Either she wants to sell her book by saying pear is apple or she has no idea who are the people of Dominican Republic or Japan is, and decides to write fiction.

Believe me, she knows about Dominican people. What's so wrong about comparing one culture to another?

 

[Aguaita29]

so why is it they never side with the gringo?

A lot of people do side with gringos, however, not many will act when their own physical integrity is compromised, gringo or not. I don't think that it would have made a difference if your "friend" had shown up to that place with another fellow Dominican friend instead of you. I doubt that he would have challenged that crazy guy with a machete just 'cause his buddy was Dominican too.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

Great review, Dark_Scorpion!

No problem Lucifer. This thread already has 54 replies, looks like I'm late to the party.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

I've read that book also. wouldn't it be great if Ilana Benady would post on DR1 as opposed to the regular clowns

Absolutely. She has a lot of knowledge. Also, I forgot to mention that her book is short, she gets her point across in
about 168 pages. This allowed me to finish it quickly and move on to other books.

 

[Chip]

Saying "Gracias" to anyone?

99% of the people I give rides to on the moto tell me "gracias". I'm sure they don't know I'm a gringo given that my helmet covers most of my face. Could it be possible that your gringo "disposition" is working against you???

 

[Africaida]

Double post

 

[Chip]

so why is it they never side with the gringo?

The problem my fren is the company you keep or place where you live.

Most of the Dominicans I've met embrace foreigners that embrace their language and the good in their culture. In fact if I had a nickle every time someone told me "tu eres dominicano ya" I would be rich. And no I don't need to say "vaina" or dance merengue either.

 

[Africaida]

Sorry I fail to see the connection between Japanese and Dominicans despite your lenghty explanation.

Japanese smoke like chimneys
Collectivism is common in many parts of the world especially poor ones.
I see pda in Dr although no kissing
Dominicans are the opposite of introverted unlike the Japanese
........

Don't see it !