Adjusting to your new country.

twillis

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If you've married a Dominican man, try to learn to cook some Dominican foods for him - if you don't already have a Dominican cookbook, get one!! My favorite is available right here in the DR1 store, "Aunt Clara's Dominican Cookbook", I promise it will be the best $26.50 you have ever spent.


I've ordered this book as suggested by Fiesta Mama and now you. It is great advice to get it. It has many good recipes and my husband was excited to see some of his favorite dishes.
 
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kacy

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I got that cookbook and it is quite good and thorough - though I've never used it on my own - my husband teaches me to cook - for a while I'd check the cookbook and whatever we were cooking would always be in there and the recipe quite close - but now I just let him show me - its nice to have though when i want to surprise him - though I've picked up a lot from him. He still won't let me cook rice - he wags his finger at me and tells me to leave it alone - I just can't get it to his standard - i was close one day and I keep trying - but he always says - don't worry about it I'll cook the rice... LOL
Food makes a big difference to adjusting I think - seems to anyways. At first i wanted to be superwife and do all the cooking - but i soon got over it and am just relieved he doesn't mind cooking... he eats on a different schedule anyways - always making sure he eats his big meal in the afternoon and a lighter dinner - working nights he can do this - but i like to cook after work so often we alternate cooking - so i eat his leftovers for my evening meal one day and he eats my leftovers for his lunch the next..

the dominican TV on the internet is another godsend - my husband still catches all his favorite programs... bell hardly has any Spanish programing so he was happy to find it.

we went to Toronto in june to watch the Yankees - that was so exciting for my husband - I'm sure he called every dominican he could think of to say he was there. We had a blast and will definitely be going again.

they had a Latin festival here this year -a small one day one - but we loved it and had a blast. I hope they continue having it - this was the first year...if not we'll catch the one in Calgary.

we're having a blast - often criticized for not getting together with others - Twillis - I know what you mean - my hubby is a homebody as well - but I always have been as well so its been ok - we each maintain workout schedules separately but everything else we do we do on our own together... we have a few couples we hang out with but not very many and not often ..

its been a really crappy summer here so my husband only took off his longjohns once or twice all summer long and is dreading winter - I think for his birthday i'm going to surprise him with a trip back - neither one of us like winter so it will be good...

best to all - its hard but so amazingly worth it! and easier if you talk to others who know what its like... tips like the ones here are invaluable...
 

sangria

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Thanks for sharing your experiences Twillis and Kacy.

Great posts and written with honesty which will help others without a doubt.
 

twillis

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Dominican tv on the internet. Absolutely!! I forgot that one. Its a constant in our home. I was wondering about links to Puerto Plata area newspapers. He's not so computer savy, and I'm not sure which ones would be the best to show him. Anybody know some links?
 

AlterEgo

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Dominican tv on the internet. Absolutely!! I forgot that one. Its a constant in our home. I was wondering about links to Puerto Plata area newspapers. He's not so computer savy, and I'm not sure which ones would be the best to show him. Anybody know some links?

Just point him to Repblica Dominicana Completa. Portal Dominicano

Livio.com has links to bunches of newspapers, radio stations, etc., everything Dominican! Everyone with an interest in DR should have it bookmarked.

AE
 

genistar

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Jul 29, 2009
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Oakville, Ontario, Canada
Awesome stories! Thank you for sharing!

It seems that most, if not all the people sharing on this thread and posting about their new lives together are women who brought their husbands to Canada/US/Europe. What about the Canadian/American/European men that brought their Dominicana wives? I'm waiting for that day to arrive... been waiting over 6 months already... one day soon my wife will be joining me here in Canada. Although I go to the DR to see her almost every month, I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the struggles ahead. So aside from the paperwork in getting the SIN, Health Card, Drivers License, and establishing credit... what advice is out there for us?

I'm Canadian-born (and raised) to Portuguese immigrant parents (so I understand the immigrant struggle). I speak Spanish and learned it over the years in the DR - I've lived in Santo Domingo and understand pretty well the Dominican culture and customs. And I know Dominicans here who've gone through the struggle. But the ones I know are Dominican couples (both in the same boat and fighting it all together kind of scenario). What kinds of major cultural differences do you think I'll encounter considering that I'm a Canadian guy bringing over my Dominican woman?
 

bob saunders

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Jan 1, 2002
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Awesome stories! Thank you for sharing!

It seems that most, if not all the people sharing on this thread and posting about their new lives together are women who brought their husbands to Canada/US/Europe. What about the Canadian/American/European men that brought their Dominicana wives? I'm waiting for that day to arrive... been waiting over 6 months already... one day soon my wife will be joining me here in Canada. Although I go to the DR to see her almost every month, I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the struggles ahead. So aside from the paperwork in getting the SIN, Health Card, Drivers License, and establishing credit... what advice is out there for us?

I'm Canadian-born (and raised) to Portuguese immigrant parents (so I understand the immigrant struggle). I speak Spanish and learned it over the years in the DR - I've lived in Santo Domingo and understand pretty well the Dominican culture and customs. And I know Dominicans here who've gone through the struggle. But the ones I know are Dominican couples (both in the same boat and fighting it all together kind of scenario). What kinds of major cultural differences do you think I'll encounter considering that I'm a Canadian guy bringing over my Dominican woman?

Alot will depend on how social and adaptable your wife is. Unless you live in the middle of a large city the biggest shock for your wife will be the lack of people on the street to talk to to and see. I lived in Courtenay British Columbia, a small town of 20,000 or so, but one with an excellent multi-cultural center, and one other Dominican woman. I contacted as many Latinas in the area as possible and made arrangements for my wife to meet them. Lucky the other Dominican woman was a wonderful person that had adapted well to Canadian society. Marcela helped Yris a lot. This lady skis, does polar bear swim..etc.
Another that really helped was ESL classes as soon as possible Lucky my wife loves to learn so as soon as her English was good enough she took Adult Basic Education English - Grade11 and 12 so that she could attend regular college classes. The key is knowing that there will be cultural shock regardless of what you do, so be prepared for tears and fustration. Get Magic Jack or simular so she can phone home a lot. Get her working soon as possible. In other words keep her busy, busy, busy
 

bachata

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Alot will depend on how social and adaptable your wife is. Unless you live in the middle of a large city the biggest shock for your wife will be the lack of people on the street to talk to to and see.

Yup, you hit in the nail...
this is exactly what I miss of my country, most of the time when I stay alone in the house I go outside and seat down in the front porch of my house (the only one house with front porch in my street) and then I start getting depressive for the reason that I don't find people to socialize with.

JJ
 

ExtremeR

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Mar 22, 2006
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Yup, you hit in the nail...
this is exactly what I miss of my country, most of the time when I stay alone in the house I go outside and seat down in the front porch of my house (the only one house with front porch in my street) and then I start getting depressive for the reason that I don't find people to socialize with.

JJ

Hey Bachata, more likely there's a Dominican team playing softball in Raleigh as there is one in every city of USA. I've known several Dominicans here in Vegas and I only socialize with 1 or 2 as I consider the rest to be well...."not great company" A good move to know Dominicans is to find a Dominican barbershop in Raleigh.
 

genistar

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Jul 29, 2009
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Oakville, Ontario, Canada
Originally I thought that it would be a bad idea for my wife to socialize with hispanics in the beginning because it could slow down her English learning. But after having gone through this thread I've realized how important it will be for her to connect with other hispanics and especially Dominicans once she's here.

I purposely stayed away from all gringos when I moved to the DR in order to learn Spanish faster (and it worked!) - I didn't feel homesick to the point where I needed to hear and speak English. But that's me. Everyone's different. My wife is the tough, intelligent, super-intuitive, and learns fast when she puts her mind to it. I already knew that food would be a big issue... so I'm prepared for that. But being away from other Dominicans will probably be more difficult than either of us realizes.

Thank you to all who helped me to look at this from a different point of view. I'm going to prepare a nice get-together with the Dominicans I know here (they're really good people). I was gonna wait till later to introduce her... but not anymore. Thanks again. :)
 

AlterEgo

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Originally I thought that it would be a bad idea for my wife to socialize with hispanics in the beginning because it could slow down her English learning. But after having gone through this thread I've realized how important it will be for her to connect with other hispanics and especially Dominicans once she's here.

I purposely stayed away from all gringos when I moved to the DR in order to learn Spanish faster (and it worked!) - I didn't feel homesick to the point where I needed to hear and speak English. But that's me. Everyone's different. My wife is the tough, intelligent, super-intuitive, and learns fast when she puts her mind to it. I already knew that food would be a big issue... so I'm prepared for that. But being away from other Dominicans will probably be more difficult than either of us realizes.

Thank you to all who helped me to look at this from a different point of view. I'm going to prepare a nice get-together with the Dominicans I know here (they're really good people). I was gonna wait till later to introduce her... but not anymore. Thanks again. :)

That sounds like a good plan genistar, let us know how it works out. I think it will be important for her to have at least one Dominican female friend to talk to, for many reasons. Everyone needs a sounding board, especially someone in the same or similar circumstances.

When I'm in SD the only time I speak English is when my husband and I are alone, not very often. Unlike you, I miss it. When I hear someone speaking English in Plaza Lama, for example, I have to restrain my self from running up to them to introduce myself:ermm:. One night we ate dinner with a couple of my in-laws at a Swiss restaurant on the [western] malecon, and there was a table of about 10 people speaking English [maybe DR1ers because they didn't strike me as typical tourists] and the fact that I mention it should tell you something, haha!

AE
 

lexi

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Jan 23, 2007
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Wow I haven't been on here for a little while and I forgot just how much I love it! I just have been reading some of the threads and came across this one. I loved reading what I posted two years ago about my husband coming to Canada. I have to say that we are still doing amazing and love spending every minute together.

He still loves the dishwasher, laundry and vacuum and always takes the garbbage out. He has learned to cook all his favourite foods and is very independant now. He has a great job and many friends and is really settled here. The first year was not always easy but I cannot say it was ever something I wished I had not done by bringing him to Canada. Every couple have their moments and we have had ours but I would never wish we weren't married or together.

We have gone back to the DR (that was tough! Not a vacation at all and the next time we go we will visit his family and friends first and then take a week in Punta Cana for ourselves). We didn't have a minute to rest as everyone wanted us here and there and how could we say no?

I first remember coming on this site and writing a post on the mars and venus thread and getting bashed. I started to worry he was a sanky as you can imagine anything you want to when you hear negativity all the time. I am proud to say we have been together for 4 years now (3 married) and it was the best decision of my life!!

I am very grateful for all the wonderful information I have read and learned from everyone on here! Especially thankful to AnnaC! It is great to see everyone still participating.

For all of you who have sponsored your spouses and are finding it tough. Relax and put yourselves in their shoes. They are moving to a country they know nothing about, don't know anyone and quite frankly most of our contries are not that sociable. It is hard and it won't always be easy but be understanding and give it time and it is the most rewarding relationship you will have.
 

dulce

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Jan 1, 2002
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Nice update lexi. DR1 is kind of like keeping a journal huh? It is always nice to look back and see how far you have progressed. On a daily basis most of us can't see that progress but when we look back it is so obvious.
 

bachata

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I'm surprised of my self!!! I went to Walmart Store today to get oil and oil filter for one of our cars, there it was posted a phone number in order to get info of referential numbers about specific cars model / part... I called the "Fram" filters manufacturer and was prompted to be connected to a Spanish speaking representative but I went for English.

My English is better every day more!!!

Three more years and will speak same like an American!!!

haha

JJ
 

bachata

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A friend of mine is going thru the same situation I was three years ago when I move to the US, he is desperate as he can't find a jab other than cleaning offices or working in a fruit packing company making $ 7. Dollars a hour. I talked to him last night and he said he'll go back to DR as over there he will be doing better driving his taxi and taking care of his "traba"
( training fighting rosters that he grows to sell to the rich guys who like this sport) he is an expert doing this, he owns a nice house in Santiago that he build few by few in about 5 years with a big lot close to STI.
I know he will go back as he doesn't speak any English and his wife and three daughters are in DR...
I'm still here because I came with my family and I was able to communicate my self in English but I can tell that the first two years here for me was a nightmare...
Now I'm doing very good, this week I got my first mechanic certification "Air break inspector" and still taking classes for understanding computer diagnosis and how to read electronics schematics in passenger buses.

JJ
 

bachata

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This is the new high tech Raleigh NC transit facility.
GEDC1092.jpg

GEDC1089.jpg

GEDC1083.jpg

CAT001.jpg

The mechanic shop can service 14 buses at the same time as there are 10 bays for regular and two for articulating buses plus two at the body shop. it has two wash pits and a steam bay in the service area, the parking lot can host 200 units, it's so big that we don't need to go out any more to do the road test and the break check.

JJ
 

Chip

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Jul 25, 2007
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Yup, you hit in the nail...
this is exactly what I miss of my country, most of the time when I stay alone in the house I go outside and seat down in the front porch of my house (the only one house with front porch in my street) and then I start getting depressive for the reason that I don't find people to socialize with.

JJ

Y por eso me encanta tu pais. Nunca me voy de aqui (mientras tenga suficiente ingreso :) ) . Todo la tecnologia y las calles buenas no se comparan con el calor humano.
 

bachata

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Yes chip, some time I feel home sick here but in the mean time I'm living the American way and I'll have to stay here for a little bit. let's see if I get some blesses from my superior one in order to grow a good bank account to make the move back to DR with no worries of having to work over there like some of the DR1s retirees does....
The North shores of the island will be a fine place for me.

JJ