Are you dating a DDD? (Definitely Different Dominican)

[MommC]

Wow! You really musta had a bad relationship to have made you so sour!! I've be married (sometimes not so happily) for over 32 yrs and I'm ewilling to concede that not all the "good" girls are taken (anymore than all the "good" guys are taken ) although you may have to "search" for one.
It does seem to me tho' that these days many people are not willing to "work" at a relationship and sometimes it is a lot of work to keep things on an even keel. One must be willing to compromise a lot (altho' fidelity is NOT a compromise but rather a pre-requisite in most peoples books).
Remember, in a relationship, you get what you give!

 

[jose?to]

Au contraire, my dear MommC,

As I stated before, I was on top of the world. God's existance was finally evident. Cindy Crawford then, and/or J-Lo now could not have persuaded me to cheat. No way, Hose B. Not even Pilar Montenegro today or Sonia Braga then. My black babe from Ohio was God's gift to man. And she was mine. No, she wasn't.

The other one was a "grillo" from Higuey, whom I'll address as "usted" if she ever talks to me againg, as in "Usted y yo no tenemos nada de que hablar, as? que para que usted no pase verguenza, no me dirija la palabra, cuero sucio, maltido grillo del diablo."

Trying to figure out women is like trying to figure out the French.

Now, if I could go to the Phillipines and find me a good Catholic babe, or maybe to Ethiopia, and get me a raven beauty que aprenda a bachatearme...

Hell no, can't trust them. For now, "grillos" will do, at least I'll know what's up.

 

[gonzaga]

Joseito,

Maybe it's you and how you treat women, where you find them and your likes and wants. It takes two to give and take in any relationship. There are still a lot of beautiful, attactive, average, not so good looking, nice, sincere & honest ones out there. There are many, either in Canada, US or any other part of the world. Try and stay positive and live life.

 

[JOHNNY HONDA]

Women are all the same. I have dated and "seen" women from El Salvador, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Higuey, Boca Chica, Capotillo, La Romana, Pittsburgh, Alma Rosa, el Bronx, Providence, Jersey City, Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, Little Rock, Kansas City, Las Ca?itas, Ensanche La Fe, San Jos? de Ocoa, Ironton (Ohio), Atlanta, and I've concluded that they are all the same. Oh, yeah, there is one from Iran who swears that she will love ONLY me. Yeah, and I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale. Todas son iguales. Sorry for the unsolicited cynicism.
Hmmn, now if I could just find a cibae?a from Mao...

So joseito are you bragging or looking for sympathy.

J.H.

 

[jose?to]

Gonzaga,

You are correct, amigo. I probably treat them too good. You know, gifts, dinners, more gifts, chuler?as--"oh, Jos?, you deserve a good woman, you are so generous!"--more gifts, dinners, sex, sex, help-her-family stuff; oh, yeah, I forgot: gifts, dinners, chuler?as, viajes--"oh-Jos?-you-never-fail-to-amaze-me" crap, romance, romantic and sexy calls to her while I'm at work, gifts, let-her-find-the-gift-I-hid-in-the-fridge-even-though-it-does-not-belong-there stuff, "OMG-Jos?-is-such-a-turkey-placing-a-bracelet-in-the-fridge-he-so-crazy" stuff, more gifts, romance, spice, gifts, "Oh, my Jose?to, who mailed me this gift, how come you mailed it?" stuff, gifts, "oh, my Jose?to hates routine, his unpredictability is the only predictable thing about him" stuff, "OMG-Jos?-how-did-cook-that?" crap, gifts, "my-girlfriends-say-I-am-lucky-to-have-you" BS, clubs, sex, "he-is-so-chulo" lie,
gifts, more gifts for no reason, just because..., yeah, I treat them waaaaaay too good. Yeah, it is absolutely my fault. Hmmn, maybe if I looked like Armand Assante, and was built like the late Johnny Holmes....what if I could lick my eyebrows?

Women...can't live with them, and you can't kill 'em.

You ain't living if you ain't giving. And I want to live forever.

 

[AnnaC]

You sound like a great guy and very generous too Josieto. I have one question and only one question. Did you cheat?

 

[jose?to]

Johnny Honda, how could I be bragging if I got dumped by the two women I have truly loved? Sympathy?...not anymore. That's how they both came to me, out of sympathy--oh-poor-baby--crap.

Ms. Conniglio, I already stated that not even Sela Ward, Rachel Ward, or even that girl who played the role of Resignaci?n in some Mexican soap opera, neither Gere's ex, or J-LO, Linda Evangelista, B. Spears, or porn star Sindey Steel could have made me cheat. Not even on a mandate from God-Almighty.

Cheating is not about how to face them afterwards, but how to face myself. You cannot cheat yourself, for you know what you did. Even if she never finds out, you still know what you did. You failed, and you know it. That's akin to stealing if nobody's watching.

 

[AnnaC]

Well then in that case it's thier loss. Nice people always seem to attract not so nice people. I like your view on cheating and I'm going to save it for future reference.

 

[gonzaga]

Joseito Mi Amigo,

Don't fall for the first one who comes along, if your a giver at first, the takers will see throught you. Date more women and date the ones you like more often, before you fall. I'm sure you will find the "right" woman if you plan and play it right. A way to a woman's heart could be from the smallest things you do, and not always from expensive gifts, dinners, ect. Sure what woman does not like to have and rec'd what you have been giving, but if both do not feel the same way (which would be obvious, unless she's a player) then we pick up and go on. Everything happens for a reason, so I'm sure there's a Miss right out there for you. I'm sure your not alone in thinking the way you do, and I'm sure we singles all have one/two or more bad/sour relationships in our life, but we still have hope there is someone out there for each of us. Don't label us women as all BAD! Bye the way, I do have some very nice friends, that I'm sure you could wine and dine in Canada, if your ever this way.

 

[jose?to]

Gonzaga,

In order for me to find the right one, I would have to be looking. And I'm afraid to look. If stuff happens, then cool.

And, yes, when do we know we've made the right choice?

Some of my friends have suggested to "make better selections in the future". But when do we know we have made the right selection?
The answer is "never", we'll never know. They can love you for 5 years and then leave you. Or after just 1 month, or 10 years.

And as far as gifts, they do not necessarily have to be expensive.
It's the act of giving that drives me. From a lifetime supply of Marimba Plum-colored lipstick, to a simple homemade card. From romantic reads like "The Bridges of Madison County", to boot-buying excursion in Barcelona. See, it's all in the imagination.
It does not have to be perfumes and flowers all the time, and on special occasions.
Now I've turned into a cynic in all things love. I've become a BSer now. I could practice the for Fs: find them, fool them, ___ 'em and forget 'em, but I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
But one of these days I'm going to embark on an endorphin-releasing, pheromones-creating binge somewhere in Rio.

 

[darling]

Wow Leja a lot of well informed points.
I wonder what an informed Latina could write about dating Gringoes

 

[MaineGirl]

Gringos don't automatically open the door for you--we have trained them through years of feminism not to be chivalrous. (What a load!)

 

[Indie]

"I wonder what an informed Latina could write about dating Gringoes"

How much time do you have?

 

[Chirimoya]

Leja and all the experts - as a newcomer to DR1 I may have missed this, but can someone tell me what the origin of the term 'sanky panky' is? I have often wondered whether the fact that it rhymes with the British euphemism for sex 'hanky panky' is coincidental.

BTW other bizarre Brit terms include 'a bit of the other' and 'how's your father'.... expliqueme!

I thought Leja's thesis was spot on - and agree that it should be required reading for all foreign women embarking on a relationship with a Dominican man.

 

[leja]

Wow jose?to, I?m sorry you?ve had such negative experiences with women. I can think of only a few things that are worse than being deceived, especially when your heart is involved. But not all women are the same, and there are plenty of ?good? women out there, I promise.

Darling, I?d be interested in hearing that too (what Dominican women have to say about American men). Anybody willing to share their thoughts on the topic?

Chiri, thanks for the feedback. I?m fairly new to this board too, and I?m not sure what the origin of that word is ? maybe someone else here can help out?

And back to an earlier question, does anybody here have advice from their own experiences for N.American/European women who are getting into or are already in relationships with Dominican men? Don?t be shy now?

Thanks again for all of your feedback and thoughts guys.

~Leja

 

[americanwoman]

Re: Orphanages?.this is a long one

Ever hear about the married American woman that wanted a fling with a Dominican? She wasn't sexually & in other ways satisfied with her husband & took a chance. She fell for an activities director at the hotel she & her family were staying at. They had a little fling & one thing led to another. Did I mention that she's 12 yrs older than him? She sends him money & buys him expensive gifts. She lies to her family & visits him as much as possble. She knows this relationship can't work but still she does it. She wants to marry him just to give him a life in th USA. She thinks he cares for her but knows he's not in love with her. She's not exactly in love with him either. However, she wants to take care of him & give him what ever he wants. Sounds crazy, huh?

 

[Jan]

I've dated a few Dominican men. But I'm very picky. I like to get to know them first. Talk, go out as friends. If a guy gets too forward or agressive then thats it. Never bring a man into my apartment until I know them at least a little. Its always good to meet their friends and see what theyer like also. Friends reflect alot about a person. Don't really like the way most Dominicans kiss but they can be trained. I have had 3 relationships with Dominican men in the last 4 years and all have been good. But also all 3 men have lived in USA and are a little Americanized. They understand the American woman a little bit. Don't be afraid just be cautious.

 

[Chirimoya]

an exception to the rule

I had forgotten about this situation I know of which goes against Hillbilly's rules: a foreign woman I know very well who married a Dominican man who was from a very 'good' family, professional, educated etc and the marriage failed for the usual reasons - his serial infidelity. Some years later she married another Dominican man, this time he was younger, from a more modest background, less educated, etc, and the marriage is happy and has lasted for years. I think Hillbilly's rules are excellent but just to remind ourselves that there are always exceptions.

 

[Criss Colon]

"SUCK" Therapy! Most men are a lot like "Wild Horses"!

Some are Thoroughbreds,some are "Clydesdales",some are Quarter Horses,some are bred to pull a plough,some are bred to Run free! Most can be "Trained" to do whatever their "trainer" wants,inspite of their "Breeding"(Culture)! Problem for most women is,they are not good "Trainers"!Women like to use "Negative Re-inforcement" and "Aversion Theapy" as their "training Tools"! If a woman would just take a man's Penis in her mouth 4 or 5 times per week,she could train her "Man" to do just about everything she wants! Try it! just wait and see how "Suck"cessful you will be in getting just the "Man" you always wanted! CRIS

 

[sjh]

sounds like you have been training men for some time now criss