Cabarete Diaries, part 2

Bronxboy

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Jul 11, 2007
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Damn, I thought you and her were going to do the whoopee!!!!


[video=youtube;2T58HtXAE4E]x[/video]
 

rice&beans

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May 16, 2010
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Chapter 451 (Men Will Stick their Dick Into Any Hole)

If my life was any crazier, it would be a movie. Every time I think life cannot possibly get any crazier, something comes along to raise the level of debauchery one notch higher.

I’m on a Condor flight from Frankfurt to Puerto Plata. I’m sitting next to a German woman—who’s name I cannot pronounce. We’re sitting here for about three hours smiling at each other. Her son is working on the plane and is one of the stewards. He must be 2-meters tall. His mother is my same height—about 6-foot. Her son keeps bringing her and I gifts---things like bottles of Bailey’s, Kahlua, cognac, etc. with coffee. After that, he brings us wine, and wait…Cava—glorified Champagne from Spain. He keeps feeding his mom alcohol—which she keeps feeding to me.

So, here we are, mother and I, about the same age, getting drunk and horny next to each other.

This German woman is slightly younger than me and possesses nice teeth and shiny dyed mahogany hair. Her son is 23yrs old, flamboyant, fabulous, and Friends of Dorothy. He and I get along right away. His mother and I are best friends after the first bottle of Cava. We’re sitting in Premium Economy class—which is Condor’s code word for glorified Business class.

Two hours into the flight and we are smashed. Smashed! Big time! But especially her. Together, her and I have a tolerance of maybe a 13yrs old Finnish teenager. Neither one of us can handle much alcohol. She keeps making sustained eye-contact with me. This is really weird; the drunk eye-contact we keep sustaining is making me horny. Really horny. But it’s also making me slightly uncomfortable. It’s a weird feeling. It’s a bizarre mix of emotions to feel horny towards someone you’re not really attracted to. But, then I realize, thousands of babies are conceived every single day in similar circumstances where people are not really attracted to each other, but there is just enough chemistry there to pull it all together for 15-minutes of sex in a bathroom.

Which brings me to my next point. Which I forgot already. But don’t worry, I’ll make something up.

Four hours into our flight and the mother and I are flying. I mean, like, really flying! The aircraft might be at 35,000ft, but the mother and I are way up in outer space. We’re nearly landing on the sun. Suddenly, I have to urinate, but I’m afraid of getting up out of my seat and stumbling to the bathroom. So, I do what all good rednecks do, I urinate into a water bottle underneath my blanket they give to you in glorified business class. The mother and I are now laughing hysterically. No, we’re crying. Which is making me miss the water bottle. Now I have urine running down my leg. This leads her and I to giggling at everything…ridiculous things. Stupid things. The other airline stewards keep coming by and saying, “Oh my, love is in the air!” in thick German accents, and then laughing hysterically. Everyone seems so excited that the mother has found a 50yrs old toy boy, me. It’s surreal.

The mother keeps trying to maintain eye-contact with me, which is making me hornier by the minute. I start to leak...like really leak (if you know what I mean)…it’s a chemical reaction that cannot be controlled in men or women. I don’t care who you are, I don't care where you come from, you cannot control leaking when direct eye-contact is made and you are horny! Basically, it works like this: when someone is staring deep into your eyes, and you are drunk, you become horny. This leads to an uncontrolled physical reaction in you body.

To compound things, when you are male, and your vision is so blurry that you can no longer see straight, you start to leak, and suddenly, you are willing to stick your penis into any dark hole. This is life. And right now, I’m in this Cava higher state of horniness (is this even a word?) I’m willing to stick my penis into any hole I can find....which right now happens to be a water bottle. Even my sock looks good right now.

Which brings me to my point that I now remember: Sex.

Us men are really a sad state of affairs. No, really. We can stick our penis into anything. We can have sex with anything. And we do. Put any teenage boy on a deserted island for a year, and he will try to stick his dick into coconuts, fruits, soil, sheep…basically, anything that is dark and soft. And this really sums up the homo sapien species in a nutshell. We’re sexual animals. We’re also social animals. We think about sex all of the time. We think about sex at the most inappropriate times of the day and night. We dream about sex, fantasize about it, and will go without food for long periods of time in order to procure sex. And anyone who tells you different is either straight up lying about sex, or so brainwashed with religion or some other bull**** that they have their heads buried so deep into the sand that they are unwilling to face reality.



Nice story Frank.....

But not really the ending I was looking for.....

Translation.......The story sounds true.......
 

chico bill

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May 6, 2016
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Yeagh, i was hoping for a Mile High Club ending myself.. with her son catching you in the act.. lmao
I want to testify ! I did the mile high club many years ago on a flight from Nashville to San Francisco with a cute blonde from Tennessee. And while she was darn cute the airplane bathroom is not the romantic cabana in the sky.
But the dick leads the way and we consummated the friendship.
Frank once you pass 67 you won't be leaky like now and maybe your itchy penis will subside. Or see a doctor ?
Where can I get this cava?

Sent from my HTC One A9 using Tapatalk
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Some people in Sosua and Cabarete posted photos of the Barbarian guy walking around town, as well as walking down highway 5 on my facebook page. I also posted photos of him along with the story above on my Facebook page. A woman from Rhode Island read what i wrote, and then she wrote about him walking around her hometown in Rhode Island (where he's from). There's a lot of photos of him walking around in Sosua. He's a fascinating man, in very, very good shape (very strong); I see him in the gym, he works out everyday. He's very interesting, but he jumps around a lot when you have a conversation with him.

Frank
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Hi everyone,

This is mostly directed at Islanddreaming, Greydread, Gorgon, Meemsselle, but many other people here as well.

I write stories everyday about people i meet at the bar here on Cabarete Beach--in particular about the crazy and eccentric people that stumble into the restaurant.

Being in a tourist town means having the opportunity to meet some really fascinating, eccentric people. All of them have stories of their own. And nearly everyone could easily have 2 or 3 books written about them. The latest is the Hollywood actor who recently rolled into town and is hanging out at our bar; another is a man from California who has Greenhouses and the licenses to grow medical marijuana is now making more money than he knows what to do with.

I write stories about these people everyday on a "Closed" Facebook page called "Everything Cabarete & Stuff." There's nearly 4000 members now, but we (Pollogringo from DR1) and I decline about 50% of the people who ask the join for various reasons.

I try and add about 20 photos a day to the group from various people--one guy is a diver here on the north coast who takes what can only be described as some of the most incredible National Geographic level photos anyone has ever seen--all taken here on the North Coast where he dives on the weekends.

Anyway, i originally only started out with 12-people, and now we have a few shy of 4000 members in 2-years. It could have easily had been 8000 members, but some people are even crazier then me and have to be rejected. It's a "Closed" group, so it's a little bit on the edge. Ok, maybe it's a lot on the edge sometimes. Oh well, I'm free to write the Gonzo style stories i like to write without any fear of censorship. Some people will like it, and others (especially religiously sensitive people) will absolutely hate it.

Feel free to join: "Everything Cabarete & Stuff."

Frank
 
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RonS

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Oct 18, 2004
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I am a member of your Group Frank and have loved every moment. It supplements my DR1 addiction. lol. Thanks for all you do Frank, both on the DR1 Forum and in the Group!
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Some of the People Who Died on the North Coast (Updated...written by Frank Genao)

Chupa disappeared two years ago
Lilliana did a U-turn and became a horror show
Mackie ate a bullet when his life turned too slow
Russel drove his scooter into a car for fun
My Haitian drag queen got bludgeoned under a Sosua sun

These are our friends who crashed and died
These are some of our friends who ran and cried
All my friends in the DR have gone and died

Alabama Gary drank a bottle of Jack and tried to fly
Damien had a stroke and lost his eye
Richard hit the floor and had a heart attack
Lillia was stabbed to death in the front and back
Millionaire Mike died on the operation table
Charles and Candy died when their plane became unstable

These are our friends who crashed and died
These are some of our friends who ran and cried
All my friends in the DR have gone and died

Panty Man hung himself after his life had stalled
Wes drove the speed of sound until he hit the wall
Seth drowned while he was still a hunk
Todd crashed his bike in a drunken funk
Darryl disappeared in a smoky haze
Oscar and his girlfriend drove their car into a fiery blaze

These are our friends who crashed and died
These are some of our friends who ran and cried
All my friends in the DR have gone and died

Brent was killed and buried on a mountain side
David was a hedge fund runner who missed his ride
Norwegian Tom got sick and started to fade
Lars got an infection in his lower leg
Lynn was left in Cabrera in a bloody maze
And Roy, my brother, you were our teacher in all this confusing haze

These are our friends who crashed and died
These are some of our friends who ran and cried
All my friends in the DR have gone and died

Gina was murdered a couple years ago
Hugh was killed by a motoconcho with one swift blow
Connie passed away after a freak accident
Benjamin Cole Brown…you were heaven sent
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Except for Russel, Gina, and maybe one more, everyone in this song was killed or died early deaths in the last 2-years--almost all of them on the North Coast. There are about 30-people in this song so far. Almost 30 people dead in only 2-years.
 

frank12

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Sep 6, 2011
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Chapter 458 (Immigration crackdown in the DR)

Immigration came into Friend's restaurant here in Cabarete yesterday morning. They walked straight up to Captain Billy’s (Retired NYC captain) table and asked him this in Spanish:

"How long you been in the DR?"

"26-days" Billy answered in his limited Spanish.

"Do you have a return ticket?"

"Yes, i have one," he answered.

"Can we see it?"

"It's an electronic ticket. It's not a paper ticket."

At this point, the Immigration officers, confused by an “electronic ticket” went and got another immigration officer who spoke English. Meanwhile, four Immigration officers stood around Captain Billy’s table.

So, here’s Captain Billy waiting around for an immigration officer who both speaks English and understands what an “Electronic” ticket is while a restaurant full of expats and Tourists are staring over at Captain Billy (wondering what kind of fugitive he is) as the Immigration officers—who all have their badges out and hanging down around their necks—and with the words “Immigration” clearly spelled out on the back of their jackets, surrounding Captain Billy’s table…who, by the way, they do not know that he is a retired NYC Captain.

Meanwhile, while everyone is sitting around waiting for more Immigration officers, and staring at Captain Billy with great anticipation, Billy starts contemplating the absurd situation.

Let’s back up and recap…

You got to love the Dominican efficiency: coming up to a table, not speaking any English, speaking to a foreigner in Spanish, not understanding what an “electronic” ticket is, and expecting someone to be carrying around their return ticket in their back pocket, etc. The absurdity is through the ****ing roof! It's a three Stooges episode. It’s a comedy farce at its highest absurd level.

Suddenly, Captain Billy remembers that he has his Ipad with him. While the Immigration officers went to get someone who speaks English, Billy remembers that he has his electronic ticket Info in his email. He immediately went to his email (imagine if the Wifi had gone down at this point from one of the many, many daily Power Outages?) Captain Billy was lucky there was electricity. He immediately pulled up his electronic ticket Info and showed the Immigration officers surrounding him (about 5 men) the date he arrived, and the date he was leaving the DR. They thanked him and left Friends restaurant—walking past a restaurant full of expats and other Immigrants who were sitting around drinking coffee and horrified by what they thought was a criminal fugitive on the loose.

Which begs the question...why only approach one single person inside a packed restaurant full of expats, when meanwhile, ignoring dozens of others expats and tourists sitting at nearby tables?

It's almost comical in its absurdity.

Frank
 

chico bill

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May 6, 2016
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Frank maybe they were casing the joint in preparation for a "SUPER" sweep on Sunday 'bout half time?
Imagine if Captain Billy had been led away in zip cuffs to the cheers of Ole, Ole, Ole. He could have been a local pub folklore hero.
But all I carry is drivers license, and cédula. Last time I got stopped in Sosua the police said those were not enough I needed my passport too. I was kind of angry that they didn't recognize my once chiseled jaw and former blonde surfer locks (long since receding) and just said "Oh it's you Kookie, lend me your comb". OK no one gets that.
Mind you I have spent over $8,000, not counting trips to SD, to get my residencia. I had a crumpled photo copy of my passport in the glove box with the car paperwork. At first they didn't like that but they could began to tell my greasy lunch was not going to sit silently while they continued to poke their heads into an increasingly foul smelling car window, to chat with a gringo wearing a Cheshire grin. Ooh what's that smell, can't you smell that smell? But you are right who would be beachside with passport or airline tickets in a swim suit ? First rule of Police 101 - always first check the guy wearing socks with Birkenstocks and a Neil Diamond t-shirt !
Play it again Sam.
 

Cdn_Gringo

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Apr 29, 2014
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But all I carry is drivers license, and cédula. Last time I got stopped in Sosua the police said those were not enough I needed my passport too.

Those documents are more than enough for a "casual" street level interaction here in the DR. Officials can appear to be pretty dumb when they want to be. The same cat and mouse game goes on in other colder countries. The cops ask for or about more information than they are entitled to. If you offer it up, that's your decision.

We, as do the authorities, know that JCE doesn't issue cedulas for longer than the validity period of a residency card. If you have a valid cedula, you have the other as well. It is up to you to exert your "rights" (I use that term loosely) in these situations. You are required to identify yourself and demonstrate that you are not currently committing a crime. Beyond that, anything you do either makes things better or worse.

If an official demands more than they are entitled to or suggests you accompany them elsewhere for further discussions, be polite and firm. "Estos documentos son suficientes para su propósito." I suspect people are asked for documents or information that are not readily presentable on purpose. The authorities want to put you off balance, confuse you and get you all worried. They know only too well, that the foreigners will generally do back flips to get out of official interactions and if those authorities can march you past a dirty cell door, they know you'll soil yourself. Why might they want to make you uncomfortable and fearful, well, that has been covered in other threads.

The long and the short of this is, if you can produce a valid cedula, immigration has no further reason to take an encounter further. That is all you are required to carry on your person while on the street. If you are driving, then you need a drivers license too. Tourists as a minimum, need a copy of their passport showing their current entry stamp and the personal info pages. It is possible that the authorities may wish to see the original passport so they have to accompany you to retrieve that. But otherwise, asking for airline tickets, residency cards or other such documentation is beyond the scope of a DR stop and identify operation. Don't worry, as long as you are polite, comply with the lawful requests and respectfully decline to do more than that, they will generally leave. Clearly you are not going to be intimidated, you are certainly not going to to pay them anything and in front of the fiscal or the court, the officials will have to justify their actions. They are not going to stand there and say they scooped you off the street because you didn't have an airline ticket while pounding back cocktails somewhere other than an airport.

Legitimate immigration operations do not usually target only one individual in a given location. Normally, they will go from person to person or stop more than one car at random. Approaching only one person and then disappearing would be unusual for these guys. 

 
 

AlterEgo

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
24,255
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South Coast
Those documents are more than enough for a "casual" street level interaction here in the DR. Officials can appear to be pretty dumb when they want to be. The same cat and mouse game goes on in other colder countries. The cops ask for or about more information than they are entitled to. If you offer it up, that's your decision.

We, as do the authorities, know that JCE doesn't issue cedulas for longer than the validity period of a residency card. If you have a valid cedula, you have the other as well. It is up to you to exert your "rights" (I use that term loosely) in these situations. You are required to identify yourself and demonstrate that you are not currently committing a crime. Beyond that, anything you do either makes things better or worse.

If an official demands more than they are entitled to or suggests you accompany them elsewhere for further discussions, be polite and firm. "Estos documentos son suficientes para su propósito." I suspect people are asked for documents or information that are not readily presentable on purpose. The authorities want to put you off balance, confuse you and get you all worried. They know only too well, that the foreigners will generally do back flips to get out of official interactions and if those authorities can march you past a dirty cell door, they know you'll soil yourself. Why might they want to make you uncomfortable and fearful, well, that has been covered in other threads.

The long and the short of this is, if you can produce a valid cedula, immigration has no further reason to take an encounter further. That is all you are required to carry on your person while on the street. If you are driving, then you need a drivers license too. Tourists as a minimum, need a copy of their passport showing their current entry stamp and the personal info pages. It is possible that the authorities may wish to see the original passport so they have to accompany you to retrieve that. But otherwise, asking for airline tickets, residency cards or other such documentation is beyond the scope of a DR stop and identify operation. Don't worry, as long as you are polite, comply with the lawful requests and respectfully decline to do more than that, they will generally leave. Clearly you are not going to be intimidated, you are certainly not going to to pay them anything and in front of the fiscal or the court, the officials will have to justify their actions. They are not going to stand there and say they scooped you off the street because you didn't have an airline ticket while pounding back cocktails somewhere other than an airport.

Legitimate immigration operations do not usually target only one individual in a given location. Normally, they will go from person to person or stop more than one car at random. Approaching only one person and then disappearing would be unusual for these guys. 

 

Remember where you are 
 

Meemselle

Just A Few Words
Oct 27, 2014
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Frank maybe they were casing the joint in preparation for a "SUPER" sweep on Sunday 'bout half time?
Imagine if Captain Billy had been led away in zip cuffs to the cheers of Ole, Ole, Ole. He could have been a local pub folklore hero.
But all I carry is drivers license, and cédula. Last time I got stopped in Sosua the police said those were not enough I needed my passport too. I was kind of angry that they didn't recognize my once chiseled jaw and former blonde surfer locks (long since receding) and just said "Oh it's you Kookie, lend me your comb". OK no one gets that.
Mind you I have spent over $8,000, not counting trips to SD, to get my residencia. I had a crumpled photo copy of my passport in the glove box with the car paperwork. At first they didn't like that but they could began to tell my greasy lunch was not going to sit silently while they continued to poke their heads into an increasingly foul smelling car window, to chat with a gringo wearing a Cheshire grin. Ooh what's that smell, can't you smell that smell? But you are right who would be beachside with passport or airline tickets in a swim suit ? First rule of Police 101 - always first check the guy wearing socks with Birkenstocks and a Neil Diamond t-shirt !
Play it again Sam.

Sir: you have style.