Dominican tact...or lack thereof

[dv8]

your kid is SO ugly!

i had a bit of a laugh catching up on this thread...

didn't we all have the courage (or did not know better) to call things for what they ARE when we were kids? i sometimes do feel malice from dominicans (is there a bit of jealousy when they say "you are SO white!"?) but mostly i do not care. at least i blend in when i say what i think. :cheeky:

 

[cobraboy]

i sometimes do feel malice from dominicans (is there a bit of jealousy when they say "you are SO white!"?) but mostly i do not care. at least i blend in when i say what i think. :cheeky:

:cheeky: :cheeky:

Heck, Dorota, I'M whiter than YOU are...

 

[dv8]

it used to spook me a bit when i had girls at the hairdresser (i am taking clients) touching my hair and just plain staring!

on the other had - no man ever stares at my 34DD. is it a because they are often accompanied by their half-a-tonne girlfriends?

have you noticed how those walkirias never get called GORDA in their faces?

 

[Celt202]

it used to spook me a bit when i had girls at the hairdresser (i am taking clients) touching my hair and just plain staring!

I was in a remote Thai village with a public health team many moons ago and an elderly Thai man sat down next to me and started feeling the hair on my arm with his thumb and index finger. Thai men rarely have body hair.

He commented in Thai to nobody in particular "He's like a monkey."

I had all I could do to keep from exploding in laughter.

I find many Dominican people have that same ingenuous honesty.

It's only insulting if you let it be.

El Mono

 

[Matilda]

dv8. 34DDDDDDDD. tell me how to get those please. Lucky cow

 

[Lambada]

dv8. 34DDDDDDDD. tell me how to get those please. Lucky cow

She's having you on. Like you she is petite and nicely proportioned but not Dolly Parton.......... Unless of course the cup size has grown since she last dropped by for books, due to repeated sessions of washing a purple-butted moggy?

Now if she starts talking about youth there she has both of us, me by a bit more than you.

 

[citygrl]

honesty, for better or worse...

I had a dominican guy who, right after we met told me "I like you because you don't have any kids" I had no idea how to respond. Guys in the states might think that ( I guess) but would never ever say it!
I think the negative effect of bluntness is sometimes people- from ANY country- don't hold back what they're saying because they might think the people around them don't understand the language. My friend from Brit. Virg. Islands said once her little niece left the beauty salon in tears because a couple of dominican stylists there didn't stop talking about how awful her hair was for a solid hour. They had no idea that she could understand spanish b/c her dad is dominican. I've definitely heard of English speaking tourists doing this, too, in various countries. I think you NEVER know who speaks English/Spanish/Swahili around you-- and assuming can get you into trouble or hurt someone's feelings!
But on a funny note- we had a german exchange student stay with my family in Atlanta when I was in high school. She had no qualms telling me she that she was most interested in taking pictures of the traffic and the fat people. And could I take her to the best places to do that? We went to the mall a lot.

 

[jrf]

citygrl great post and welcome here

I understand about the 'wow you're fat now' or you get the 'gee you're strong' comment. That one really throws me off being a typical guy thinking hey great-then you realize it meant you were heavier-ohhhh I hate that.

 

[Mirador]

citygrl great post and welcome here

I understand about the 'wow you're fat now' or you get the 'gee you're strong' comment. That one really throws me off being a typical guy thinking hey great-then you realize it meant you were heavier-ohhhh I hate that.

All my life I used to be skinny, and I still haven't been able to shake the self-image of a slender person. I put on weight after quitting smoking, blowing up to over 30 pounds my normal weight in less than a year. I still keep in the closet some of my old trousers, wishfully thinking that one day I will be able to fit into them. So I get very ****ed off when someone quips about how fatter I am. And I always snap back with a retort, like, for example, "I'm not fatter, I'm fu&%/!.n swollen, my kidneys have given out on me, and I'm in line for a transplant. Please, I have an urgent appointment for my dyalisis". That definitely shuts them up for good! ... ;-)

 

[cobraboy]

All my life I used to be skinny, and I still haven't been able to shake the self-image of a slender person. I put on weight after quitting smoking, blowing up to over 30 pounds my normal weight in less than a year. I still keep in the closet some of my old trousers, wishfully thinking that one day I will be able to fit into them. So I get very ****ed off when someone quips about how fatter I am. And I always snap back with a retort, like, for example, "I'm not fatter, I'm fu&%/!.n swollen, my kidneys have given out on me, and I'm in line for a transplant. Please, I have an urgent appointment for my dyalisis". That definitely shuts them up for good! ... ;-)

Just tell them your hat is too tight, and squeezes your brain over the rest of your body...

 

[Norma Rosa]

On this subject I feel:

1. That it does not have to be an eye for an eye, a tooth . . .
2. That it is my responsibility to teach others to look at the positive side of things (without lecturing). Therefore, I respond to those not-so-nice comments with statements such as:
"Thanks for telling me that, but look at you! You look so good! How do you do it?" (No sarcasm in the voice).

This is very effective as people begin to feel good about themselves and might want to emulate the behavior.
Believe me, positive reinforcement works with anyone, at any age!

Here to help and learn,
Norma

 

[dv8]

it's DD - i have a certificate to prove it!

lambada, thanks for calling me slender. i only look proportional because my arse is just as big as my DD :cheeky: :cheeky: :cheeky:

i once got a comment from our dominican handyman who had lunch with us while doing some work on the house. i devoured more than he did accompanied by about half a jar of mayo (my weakness) and then topped it with two chocolate bars. he said to minovio: "she eats a lot, why is she not fat?" his wife is a bout as big as jeepeta and beats him up, poor guy! :bunny:

citygrl - you made me laugh - i feel so tempted to take snaps of fat hookers here but minovio tells me it is not wise.... :ermm:

 

[Lambada]

You got a certificate? Why? Did minovio need it notarised and in triplicate? Would have thought he'd have had a feel for that sort of thing without the paperwork.................. Now there's an example of Dominican tact!

Note to self: get eyes tested. I could have sworn you were petite, in proportion and no large rear. I'll look again after the eye test.

 

[shadInToronto]

... my arse is just as big as my DD

Is this a technical term? .... I once worked with a Polish lady with a gluteus maximus that was referred to as DD (or double density DASD). Same meaning? :cheeky:

 

[cobraboy]

I'd describe dv8 as "very healthy", a good thing.

 

[mountainannie]

Yeah but they love their kids

I have an American friend who lives here who just had a new baby -- we took a carriage ride around the colonial zone for a treat -baby tightly and comfortable in the slugglie and as we turned a corner, one Dominican called from the second floor window to "Watch out for the baby's head" as it was tipped slightly to the side. My friend now always puts socks on the newborn as she already had one baby here and Dominican mothers will not let a baby out without socks "as they will catch a disease". In the States, one never interferes with another woman's child rearing although many times we may want to -- but here, all the women are involved it seems. May be a bit irritating to my friend sometimes but we agreed that it seems a better system. United Moms

 

[Chirimoya]

My friend now always puts socks on the newborn as she already had one baby here and Dominican mothers will not let a baby out without socks "as they will catch a disease".

Yeah, I got used to that one. First (and best) time was from a fellow Mum in the doctor's waiting room who while lecturing me was busy pouring coca cola down her toddler's neck.:tired:

 

[Matilda]

Just to finish off the question I asked at the beginning. No probs at all with the Downs Syndrome boy. he was stared at much less than in England and teh Dominicans were fabulous with him. he really enjoyed himself. here is a quick pic of him in the Capital.

 

[jrhartley]

I enjoyed this thread with a happy ending.

 

[MyBocaChica]

I enjoyed this thread with a happy ending.

You are one witty end user JR