Dominicans: Are they pathologically inconsiderate?

[Rick Snyder]

It never ceases to amaze me how I continue to benefit from this site DR1.

Rocky, once again I wish to thank you for sharing your knowledge with us and helping me to adapt a better understanding in this country.

Those idiosyncrasies that we occasionally face here, and the majority of them are (IMO) taught, at one time caused me to get mad then over time an acceptance set in with no clear understanding as to why these idiosyncrasies occur. It was not a case of it being a ?Dominican? thing as some of these things occur in other countries also so such a broad brush as it being Dominican didn?t hold true. I now have a new phrase in my mind, ?they are only kids? and I know that this will help me tremendously in dealing with living in this country and I once again thank you for that.

I, unlike some people, read your whole post and noticed that you stated, ?This is not derogatory, simply a fact, and it does not apply to every single Dominican? and because of that statement it very well fits as it would in other countries.

I think it is also interesting to note that when you call a child a child they have no idea as to what you are referring to and if they think that you are making a derogatory statement to them they will be the first to attack you and it is usually done in a child-like manner.

Rick

 

[miguel]

Muy facil....

I have learned to accept their rules.

After-all its their country and the least I can do is follow their rules.

I say do what dominicans do and stop complaining.
AZB

Those 3 sentences says it ALL.

One of the reasons why I have not relocated to the DR is for the simple fact that there's a WHOOOOOOOLE bunch of things I would have to get used to, things MOST do that drives me OFF THE WALL!!.

I keep on saying that the DR is a "different monster". NOT everybody can live there.

Until I can "live" with their rules, I WILL SHUT THE HELL UP and stay where I am!!.

NOW, if I move to the DR knowing "their rules" and still complain about them, shame on me and ALL of you guys have the right to tell me:

"Don't like it, you have 3 choices, 1- deal with it, 2- adapt to their ways of living or 3- SHUT THE HELL UP and go back where you came from"!!.

Yes, it's that easy.

ETA:

CFA123: "READ" my post "message" carefully.

 

[CFA123]

Is it just me or would anyone else be embarassed to have Dominican friends read some of the questions and responses posted on DR1 lately?

Recent questions:

• Do all Dominicans not like to walk?
• Do Dominicans like to go out to nice restaurants?
• Are Dominicans pathologically inconsiderate?

It's as if some posters approach the DR and Dominicans as if they're a kid visiting a zoo display. "Mommy, why do the insert species of choice do that?" "Daddy, if I pet the pretty lady, will it bite me?"

Some questions & responses simply show ignorance, while others (at least by the wording chosen) appear insulting in print though they may come off more favorably in a face to face conversation.

.

 

[helpmann]

I Would Use "The" Word, If I Could...

Is it just me or would anyone else be embarassed to have Dominican friends read some of the questions and responses posted on DR1 lately?

Recent questions:

• Do all Dominicans not like to walk?
• Do Dominicans like to go out to nice restaurants?
• Are Dominicans pathologically inconsiderate?

It's as if some posters approach the DR and Dominicans as if they're a kid visiting a zoo display. "Mommy, why do the insert species of choice do that?" "Daddy, if I pet the pretty lady, will it bite me?"

Some questions & responses simply show ignorance, while others (at least by the wording chosen) appear insulting in print though they may come off more favorably in a face to face conversation.

.

Their questions and their responses display their ignorance and ethnocentric ways.

-Helpmann :tired:

 

[Squat]

AZB's post was great, about being late & running red lights ! It makes sense somehow, in a senseless society... I tend to do the same, in my own way...

 

[TarSeal]

As a noob, I didn't want to say anything, but damn some of these comments are insulting. Yes, I enjoy making fun of people, but it's very difficult to portray the right tone and context in a post to not come off looking like a complete bigot. :ermm:

 

[Chris]

Is it just me or would anyone else be embarassed to have Dominican friends read some of the questions and responses posted on DR1 lately?

No, it is not just you :disappoin Uhm... which other nationality is next?

 

[BushBaby]

Based on your comments about Dominicans, two things come to mine mind.
1) Were you on cocaine or crack before coming out with such a conclusion?
2) How many years of researching and traveling the country; Did take you for
your hypothesis?

I am delighted to see someone disagree with this "child-like" description for the behaviour pkaide1 - I have resettled with this for many years now (living day to day with Dominicans) & have to date found no better analysis for the behaviour patterns. Now perhaps I am going to learn so from you - I am always open to learning!

I have often found Dominicans play music so loudly that they can not hear themselves have a converstion - Why is this?
Sunday afternoon on the Malecon, traffic travels at 10/15 MPH across all three lanes so as to get 'ogled' by jay walkers - Why is this?
Double parking (as seen in previous posts) causing traffic holdups & excessive congestion, is a prerequisite to car travel - why is this?
Shouting at someone standing right next to them seems normal behaviour & acceptable to all Dominicans - Why Is this?
When travelling the wrong way up a one way street, why is it that I (travelling the right way & in a MUCH bigger vehicle to the motor-scooter) am expected to move over?
Tourist buses park up in congested pedestrian areas when depositing tourists & then leave the diesel engine running for an hour or two with NO-one in it (not even the driver) - Why is this?
Take AZB's list & add 30 or 40 more Dominican Traits & explain these to me & I will GLADLY put a new interpretation as to this 'Child-like' behaviour.

Perhaps my FAVOURITE, & certainly the one I am most looking forward to getting a new interpretation for, is when a motor-scooter, small car or even pedestrian does something stupid in front of me which (had I not been quick to avoid them) would have ended in their premature death. To see that smile of ............ resignation??? Well, to me it can only be a child like smile that says ........ "I got away with it that time didn't I?"

I await your illuminating response & addition to my understanding of the Dominican culture! Rocky we know has lived here for some 12/13 years & has dealt with Dominicans at all levels on a daily basis during this period. His credentials are well known by most of us so please be so kind as to advise your qualifications & expertise for the responses so that we may make a valued assessment as to who is more right. ~ Grahame.

 

[Chip00]

It is very sad that you are putting all Dominicans in the same boat. Considering them to be the same is like saying that all American are nothing, but rednecks and crackers, which we are not, just my opinion.

What might one infer from this post?

 

[cobraboy]

If a Canadian is walking down a hallway of a hotel, and runs into someone coming from the opposite direction, he might divert his eyes, while two Americans in the same situation, will probalby say, "How ya doin'?"

Where I come from, it's "How're y'all doin'? Your Momma and them good?"

 

[BushBaby]

Uhm... which other nationality is next?

I would suggest US Brits Christa as we have been tagged as 'Bowler hatted twits' (oops, better not use that word!!) for the business classes & 'knotted handkerchief on the head when on the beach' idiots as the working class Englishman, for YEARS!! However, this would not have much DR content unless you can extrapolate it to some Brits living here that have continued the tradition!??? ~ Grahame.:ermm:

 

[Justintime]

Besides....

Besides....it just wouldn't do to generalize Brits too much . Some would rather wear boas than bowlers.

 

[Mirador]

... Perhaps my FAVOURITE, & certainly the one I am most looking forward to getting a new interpretation for, is when a motor-scooter, small car or even pedestrian does something stupid in front of me which (had I not been quick to avoid them) would have ended in their premature death. To see that smile of ............ resignation??? Well, to me it can only be a child like smile that says ........ "I got away with it that time didn't I?" ...QUOTE]


While taking a right turn on a road into a driveway, I noticed a pedestrian standing nonchalantly in the middle, with his back toward the road. I figured I'd give him a big scare and drive by, barely missing him. The resulting reaction was more than forthcoming, the man screamed and cursed at me, he even followed me to where I had parked. I told him that I hadn't seen him, that I was blind on my right eye, and that he, unfortunately,was standing on my blind side. He then completely changed his attitude, and proceeded to apologize profusely. Later, my wife couldn't contain herself with laughter.

 

[pkaide1]

I am delighted to see someone disagree with this "child-like" description for the behaviour pkaide1 - I have resettled with this for many years now (living day to day with Dominicans) & have to date found no better analysis for the behaviour patterns. Now perhaps I am going to learn so from you - I am always open to learning!

I have often found Dominicans play music so loudly that they can not hear themselves have a converstion - Why is this?
Sunday afternoon on the Malecon, traffic travels at 10/15 MPH across all three lanes so as to get 'ogled' by jay walkers - Why is this?
Double parking (as seen in previous posts) causing traffic holdups & excessive congestion, is a prerequisite to car travel - why is this?
Shouting at someone standing right next to them seems normal behaviour & acceptable to all Dominicans - Why Is this?
When travelling the wrong way up a one way street, why is it that I (travelling the right way & in a MUCH bigger vehicle to the motor-scooter) am expected to move over?
Tourist buses park up in congested pedestrian areas when depositing tourists & then leave the diesel engine running for an hour or two with NO-one in it (not even the driver) - Why is this?
Take AZB's list & add 30 or 40 more Dominican Traits & explain these to me & I will GLADLY put a new interpretation as to this 'Child-like' behaviour.

Perhaps my FAVOURITE, & certainly the one I am most looking forward to getting a new interpretation for, is when a motor-scooter, small car or even pedestrian does something stupid in front of me which (had I not been quick to avoid them) would have ended in their premature death. To see that smile of ............ resignation??? Well, to me it can only be a child like smile that says ........ "I got away with it that time didn't I?"

I await your illuminating response & addition to my understanding of the Dominican culture! Rocky we know has lived here for some 12/13 years & has dealt with Dominicans at all levels on a daily basis during this period. His credentials are well known by most of us so please be so kind as to advise your qualifications & expertise for the responses so that we may make a valued assessment as to who is more right. ~ Grahame.

Education, education, education, and education. Please, read more books.

 

[BushBaby]

Besides....it just wouldn't do to generalize Brits too much . Some would rather wear boas than bowlers.

I just popped out to get myself a quick sandwich & thought about the BOA thing. Came to put something on to say that some of us have progressed from the knotted-handkerchief to purple feather boas when at the golf course & YOU (vindictive American that you are ) had got in before me!!

For that I shall not reply to your PM & agree that it is WELL past time for your next golf lesson!! Forget the Spanish lessons & investigations - get on to that golf course!! irate: (That's a BANDIT, not a pirate!!) ~ Grahame.

 

[Snuffy]

culture clash....the campo dominican who for generations lived detached from the modern world...suddenly he is thrust into it. The problem is in us who came here and cannot accept the pace of their advance into the sterilized and most artificial life we call civilization. And the problem is his also. He yearns for the way of life of the campo and struggles to learn to live in the new world. He has to learn new rules and regulations and accept them. Because the top tier they are learning to enact these rules and regulations. The new world is quickly advancing now. Take away this negative you think you see and you take away the positives also. You escaped your country of birth to come here most probably because you did not like something about the way you were living. OK for some it was just the weather. Give it time and the world you were leaving will encroach more and more here. Many changes in just a few years. Have you noticed how in Santiago they have been putting up cement barriers along the main roads. If you want to turn around you have to go down a few kilometers to make the turn. It moves the herd along in one direction forcing order. I saw this coming back from the Santo Domingo airport also. I guess should you have car problems along that route...there is only one thing to do...call a tow truck. No more pulling to the side and fixing it yourself. You wanted order...it is coming.

 

[Chris]

culture clash....You wanted order...it is coming.

Thanks Snuffy!

 

[M.A.R.]

culture clash....the campo dominican who for generations lived detached from the modern world...suddenly he is thrust into it. The problem is in us who came here and cannot accept the pace of their advance into the sterilized and most artificial life we call civilization. And the problem is his also. He yearns for the way of life of the campo and struggles to learn to live in the new world. He has to learn new rules and regulations and accept them. Because the top tier they are learning to enact these rules and regulations. .

There is the answer, or maybe the answer is that there was a lot more personal space before, now with the population explotion the need for all these manners and politeness has become necessary, if you live in a less populated area you'll find that the people are easy going,(in some places), and are considerate and generous because they don't have to compete for anything with others.

 

[Lambada]

Is it just me or would anyone else be embarassed to have Dominican friends read some of the questions and responses posted on DR1 lately?

No it isn't just you!!! Generalisation always bothers me, whether it is generalising about Dominicans or generalising about expats or anyone else for that matter. And responding sensitively is difficult because the very act of responding almost condones the generalisation. Last night I debated whether to say anything at all but came down on the side of a different use of language as an attempt to remove some of the disappointment that some Dominicans might feel reading the initial question particularly if their grasp of English didn't stretch to the nuances.

It is very tricky in the written word. I suppose the simplest answer to George is 'no, of course Dominicans aren't pathologically inconsiderate. 'Dominicans' aren't pathologically anything. You can't generalise'.

Personally I would have felt a lot happier with the question 'Why is there so much conversation in Dominican cinemas?' Perfectly valid question and it takes the generalising about 'Dominicans', who are as varied as any other nationality, out of the equation. Maybe CFA you have given us a timely reminder to think how we word titles of posts?

The subject matter of George's question is perfectly valid, I feel (i.e. dealing with noise in cinemas). What makes me uncomfortable is how would I feel if I were a Dominican reading the title.

 

[Mirador]

.... What makes me uncomfortable is how would I feel if I were a Dominican reading the title.

The title should not make anyone uncomfortable. It is not a statement, but a valid question understandably presented with an exasperated tone to dramatize frustration...