I at first wanted to blame this on my wife's family who call eachother "haitiano" when one misbehaves but my wife says it is almost a term of endearment.
Dude, this is an issue that you have to tackle man. DR mentality has been severely damaged since colonial times. Advice not just to you , but to everybody that is in this same picture. Follow your intinct and put a stop to this feces man. Grab your wife/husband and tell him that this is not proper behavior. You must establish your beliefs/value system man!
In my house, I have a sign by the door, it says:
In this house, you cannot say:
1) pelo malo
2) gringo
3)maricon
4)pelo bueno
..etc, etc.
This way, your children will adopt these values.
Regarding your situation with your daughter. I agree with you 100% about not giving in to " comemierderia"(snobishness), but the best thing you can do is to take your daughter out of that school.
I don't have kids, and I'm nobody to say. But I'm just saying from my experiences when I was a kid.
My brother and I went to a public school in DR,I don't know about now, but there I learned alot,not only academically, but also the foundations on how to be humble.
I was one of the well off kids in the school. I always had an allowance of 25 cents for recreo( reccess time), back then you could buy like 2 yaniqueques with it. My friends who were very poor, didn't get any allowance,so I always shared my yaniqueque and helados with them. They didn't have books, so they use to go to my house, or I would go to their house to read and do homework. Sometime i lend them my books.
Some of these kids have become sucessful overthere, and they still love me till this day, remembering those old days of sharing and solidarity.
In that public school I was exposed to the real DR, how cruel life was, and me as a kid, realized how good I had it. Always breakfast, lunch and dinner on the table, always getting toys in Reyes Magos.
When I went to NY, i went to another public school there, and met a kid that was in one of these private " middle class" schools in DR. This kid was ridiculously arrogant and very selfish. I was friends with him, but I had to cut with him because we weren't " compatible". I wasn't going to be like him , to be " compatible". I just thought myselft that is so sad that he his brain got so damaged like that, and he is still snobbish till this day.
I would suggest to enroll her in a " escuelita" with a two or three private teachers sthat can teach English too, and that recieve a class about " your values". That all the parents share the same values that you have.
because that school where she is going is going to cause permanent damage to you child, and you don't want that.