expat raising a daughter in this "machista" country? I think better not ...

[dv8]

there are plenty of well-to-do girls here, brought up by rich and influential parents. do you think danilo medina's daughters ride on a stick of some poor bar tender from cienfuegos? please, don't give me that junk. you can create an environment where your girl will have nothing to do with chopo rats.
of course, you can still have all the money and influence and still come up with paris hilton but i would not blame her fall on dominican machos

 

[rubenpriego]

dv8, for sure my daugther will be looked by men, as all women are, around the world at any country. That's not the point. We are talking about hte fact that here there is a stronger harassment towards women than in many other countries. Being looked by men is not a problem even for fathers, but here there is more than that too often ...

ruben, take my sister in law: she grew here, went to good schools, she is a good christian and a specialist in her field. and did i mention she beats those dominican next top model uglies to the ground? her parents gave her the best background both when it comes to morale and education. but she is very level headed herself. is she being hit on by dominicans? yes and no. yes, because she is beautiful and she has many admirers. and no, because she never was of interest to dominican tigueres: she is smart, confident, rich and totally out of their league.

as far as being a sex object - give me a break, dude. do you know our own matilda calls me "tits" or "boobies"? because yes, this is, basically, the first thing (two things, really) people notice about me . do i care? i cannot be bothered. people look. i look. it means nothing. unless your daughter grows up to be some crook faced cow men will pay attention to her. in any country.

 

[Givadogahome]

My point is this....do all you can do to give them the best that you and your wife have to offer as Parents and if you can afford a more desireable location to raise them then by all means do it but all your best efforts and all that nurturing will guarrantee nothing. It's like studying for a big test...it won't guarrantee passage but the failure to do so will guarrantee failure.

Yes, I like that post, and is exactly what we intend to do. And nothing is guaranteed, nothing ever is, but the further up the hill we start the less the distance to the top.

 

[mountainannie]

dv8, for sure my daugther will be looked by men, as all women are, around the world at any country. That's not the point. We are talking about hte fact that here there is a stronger harassment towards women than in many other countries. Being looked by men is not a problem even for fathers, but here there is more than that too often ...

ruben... it depends on where you raise them.. if you are going to raise them in Sosua, that is one thing,,, quite another in the Capital or Santiago, or even Bavaro or Jarabacoa.

I think that people do not travel enough around the country and get their impressions only from the sankie towns.... too bad.

 

[greydread]

my god ....
Having self respect does not mean that she will never be harassed!!!
Having self respect will make her getting into less troubles, for sure!!!! lesss but not free harasment
But she will have to deal with those nasty, vomiting harassements I am used to see and heard from many men here ... it is a fact, period.
And no one tell me it is not true, because my wife is absolutely tired of those behaviours happening very very often ... ok??????
If Im telling this is because I know well what I am talking about ...
Cheers.

My God!!!

(?)

Self respect doesn't mean that Men will not try to harass her but it does give her the tools to fight it off. It happens in the D.R. and it happens in NYC and it happens in Mumbai and Nairobi and London, too. Believe me when I tell you that I also know what I'm talking about.

A well raised Woman will know how to shame a disrespectful Man with a look. Every Man born of Woman will recognize then he's crossed the wrong line when reminded.

If that doesn't work....there's always "call Daddy". We'll get the problem fixed.

 

[mountainannie]

and i would agree though with the others... unless i was in a tight religious community established here... like the JWs or the Mormons, or one or the other branches of the Catholics, not a nebulous pastor,inc. but a real community of believers where you would have a culture of respect to support you.

otherwise... well.. if you did not come to live in the city

the daughter, of course, is the sure visa outta here for either the mom or the girl

 

[mountainannie]

My God!!!

(?)

Self respect doesn't mean that Men will not try to harass her but it does give her the tools to fight it off. It happens in the D.R. and it happens in NYC and it happens in Mumbai and Nairobi and London, too. Believe me when I tell you that I also know what I'm talking about.

A well raised Woman will know how to shame a disrespectful Man with a look. Every Man born of Woman will recognize then he's crossed the wrong line when reminded.

If that doesn't work....there's always "call Daddy". We'll get the problem fixed.

it is the road through adolescent that is so tough here, Dred...

 

[Viajero]

So I got the conclusion that I dont wanna raise a girl in a country where men respect women that way.
Ok, lets go for your thoughts ....

You are 100% right. Now, where do you plan on moving?

 

[Givadogahome]

My God!!!

(?)

Self respect doesn't mean that Men will not try to harass her but it does give her the tools to fight it off. It happens in the D.R. and it happens in NYC and it happens in Mumbai and Nairobi and London, too.

There are areas in London and everywhere that it happens, and I wouldn't raise my daughter there either. A father doesn't want his daughter to have to fight anything off. Yes, in life she will have to, but there is such a thing as damage limitation, setting your sights high, living among those you wish to be associated with. We don't have so much control of all this in DR, simple really.
I think we all agree anyway, we only want what is best for our kids, and we all have different ideas.

 

[Givadogahome]

it is the road through adolescent that is so tough here, Dred...

Yip, from the age of 10 till death!

 

[JohnnyBoy]

These are natural thoughts every man has when he finds out he has or is going to have a daughter. Raise your daughter in a happy home and she will be the apple of your eye. Be a drunken loser and your daughter will look for a drunken loser. There really is no society in the world where women are not leered at by men. Its the whole nature birds and bees etc. As said multiple times here raise a smart confident woman and she will make the right decisions. On the safe side start taking martial arts lessons and learn how to shoot.

 

[greydread]

it is the road through adolescent that is so tough here, Dred...

Trust me when I tell you. That is not an easy road anywhere.


Teen Suicides Up Sharply for First Time in Years

Sometimes the World gets them without even laying a finger on them. The main reason I talked to my kids during their adolescence was to get them talking to me so I could listen and learn. I am no Psychologist, but I feel like one.

 

[rubenpriego]

It will depend on many facts, mostly work facts, but I assume that having my own family would be great to go back some day to my lovely hometown Barcelona.
Cheers.

You are 100% right. Now, where do you plan on moving?

 

[bermyboy]

Just had a baby boy here very happy want him to grow up here but I will teach him myself the right way to do things and pass on my knowledge as best possible and because of me he will not have to worry anything i will be gettinghim a passport from my country and he will be able to travel where ever he wants !

 

[suarezn]

I'll go a little further and say that if you raise her right The DR is a better environment when it comes to that, because not only will she not go for the tiguere, but will learn how to deal with these guys (something very valuable in life for a woman IMO). Look at how Dominican guys whistle or "psssst" or BS women...The typical Dominican woman can handle this without any hesitation, but the typical foreign raised woman doesn't know what to do. I've seen it how they get angry, embarrassed, annoyed, etc...while the Dominican woman can remain cool as a cucumber under these situations and even BS them back if need be.

 

[beastwood]

And I can think of 2 benefits to an expat brining a little girl into the world in the DR...1 st world sexual / social gender role influences (all the better if both mom and dad have spent time living in the 1 st world), and secondly, easier opportunities to relocate back to the US or europe during the childs early and teen years....

I Agree one can find it hard to raise a child (stupid ho!!?? Comon dv8 show 10% class...the guy is sharing about his daughter...perfect example of the type conversational intellect any parent wishes his kids avoid!), in any country. But why choose to raise your child knocking your head up against 1000 years of gender issues if other options are available.

I know your pain. We have a little girl coming up to 3. To cut a long tale short, I wouldn't trust a male here in any way, shape, size or colour, they never grow out of adolescence from the age of 10 till the day they die, they will stick it in anything with or without a heartbeat. Sex crazed is not the word for it, I'm an ugly hairy bloke and I wouldn't bunk down with a drunk Dom for fear of being probed. No way my child is going to school in DR and be subject to being a sexual object. I know she will grow the way lead her, but why should I have to worry about these guys, parenting is difficult and stressful enough without worrying about what others kids are doing, thinking, contemplating.
Hence, we moved away from the Dominican several months ago to prepare for her starting school in a civilzed world. It really isn't a difficult decision when you have a daughter, a son might be different, but I have one little girl and she is not a sexual object, in the DR in the eyes of men, before anything else that is exactly what they see her as. Not yet obviously, but time goes by fast.

 

[greydread]

And I can think of 2 benefits to an expat brining a little girl into the world in the DR...1 st world sexual / social gender role influences (all the better if both mom and dad have spent time living in the 1 st world), and secondly, easier opportunities to relocate back to the US or europe during the childs early and teen years....

I have 2 cousins born in St Croix and raised there until middle school age. There was simply a better educational system in place in the continental US. They came here fully fluent in both English and Spanish and had a far better geographical and cultural perspective of the World and the US in particular and excelled all the way through college and into working life. One works for State right now. There are definitely benefits.

 

[SKing]

Some of you guys are in for a BIG surprise with those little girls.
Yeah....take your daughters to the US, Canada, or wherever...yeah, that'll stop it.

I have married surgeons come on to me....strongly. You will not escape that, period. And I can tell you right now, over protect and shelter her too much and the minute she goes to college, they'll be calling her SuperHead.

Like the other guys said, it's all in how you raise them. But you will not escape the way some men are, no matter where you go

SHALENA

 

[bermyboy]

I personally would rather have my son grow up here because he will learn to appreciate what it is to see poor people i also want him to go with his uncle intop the mountains herding cows and hard work to learn that he dpes not want to do that all his life and make something of himself!.Also compared to my country there is more opprtunity talent wise here for him to prosper really Dominicans are good in all sports and other activities.

 

[Lobo Tropical]

I was really curious about posting this to know what people thinks about ...

Im an expat here, in the close future Im gonna be daddy of a little daughter. Just knew some days before it will be a girl.

Before knowing this, I was thinking a lot, a lot, about what I would do if being a girl, what I would do in the future, talking about this country and my own family.

My big concern was always thinking that if baby would be a girl, that would be future headaches in this country.

I have been living here enough time to know how many (not all, but many!) dominican men behave with women

I have had many examples given by my wife, unfortunately examples she has not only have heard but lived by her own too or seen in front of her. Some examples have made me so indignant, angry, outraged that I could not believe how men could do and behave that way ...

So I got the conclusion that I dont wanna raise a girl in a country where men respect women that way. It would be a nightmare when my daughter becoming a teenager and a woman ... I think I would finally be involved in many arguments, fights, etc many times, or having to visit some men with a baseball stick in my hands ...

As I said before, not all dominican men are that way, of course, but it is a fact, this country is plenty of that kind of men who dont respect women at all, and I have noticed that being a pretty (and decent) woman in this country, can be quite tough ...

Ok, lets go for your thoughts ....

Ruben,
It's a hard choice to make!
Bottom line is, that offshore she will have more opportunities concerning education, employment and lifestyle.
Keep her connected to the DR by citizenship and at least bilingual education and frequent visits, and possibly a high level position later on if she so chooses.