The most important thing a Man can learn from having a Daughter is how to hold her close without smothering her. My 37 year old taught me this. Her Sisters benefitted from it. I spent the day after graduation (2 weeks ago) nursing my youngest (18 y/o's) 1st official hangover and making a 3am tampon and midol run to CVS. Unfortunately I won't get to teach her how to drink until we meet in Jamaica next week. She's got to learn sometime and I'd rather it be from someone who knows what they're doing. I'm in the D.R. right now recuperating from single parenthood.
- Thread starter rubenpriego
- Start date
expat raising a daughter in this "machista" country? I think better not ...
The most important thing a Man can learn from having a Daughter is how to hold her close without smothering her. My 37 year old taught me this. Her Sisters benefitted from it. I spent the day after graduation (2 weeks ago) nursing my youngest (18 y/o's) 1st official hangover and making a 3am tampon and midol run to CVS. Unfortunately I won't get to teach her how to drink until we meet in Jamaica next week. She's got to learn sometime and I'd rather it be from someone who knows what they're doing. I'm in the D.R. right now recuperating from single parenthood.
Over shelter...I agree. Not that I understand superhead...but my notheast us yankee bred and raised daughter from my first marriage will be in college in a year...very driven, wickedly smart (no thanks to my study genetics I assure you), and does not suffer fools lightly. And to her credit she prefers to call friends classmates whose parents are fresh off the boat from all manner of countries around the world... she will be fine...
but I am glad she has not had to deal with the machismo bs that is pandemic in places like the dr.
For example, I love my new friends and family here, but many (certainly not all) men here (often enabled by society parents and dominicanas) harken back to another time. Multiple wives (married or not) are culturally accepted here, in ways, numbers and extremes not seen in the US or Canada. it is a fact. My wife (a well educated women) decided long ago she would not marry into the system her brothers and other males in her barrio operate. And we deal daily with the fallout from all this machismo, multiple chicas issues in my wifes family daily....
That said she loves her family as do I. But like many many families here, a brother or uncle or dad who does not feel the need to support offspring by "the other woman"...is not far away. Or where supporting a woman or two on the side is.very very common place. Do we have friends and relations whom understand and practice fidelity and parental and spousal responsibility...sure. But the other way is frequent if not more common.
As far as the married surgeons go SK, it does not take a brain surgeon to see you are THE catch...and no matter in what country you reside I am sure the docs all rue the day they tied the knot once they catch a glimpse. Either that or stop frequenting those medical conventions.
but I am glad she has not had to deal with the machismo bs that is pandemic in places like the dr.
For example, I love my new friends and family here, but many (certainly not all) men here (often enabled by society parents and dominicanas) harken back to another time. Multiple wives (married or not) are culturally accepted here, in ways, numbers and extremes not seen in the US or Canada. it is a fact. My wife (a well educated women) decided long ago she would not marry into the system her brothers and other males in her barrio operate. And we deal daily with the fallout from all this machismo, multiple chicas issues in my wifes family daily....
That said she loves her family as do I. But like many many families here, a brother or uncle or dad who does not feel the need to support offspring by "the other woman"...is not far away. Or where supporting a woman or two on the side is.very very common place. Do we have friends and relations whom understand and practice fidelity and parental and spousal responsibility...sure. But the other way is frequent if not more common.
As far as the married surgeons go SK, it does not take a brain surgeon to see you are THE catch...and no matter in what country you reside I am sure the docs all rue the day they tied the knot once they catch a glimpse. Either that or stop frequenting those medical conventions.
every woman on the streets of nyc leans that... not so that foreign women do not know .. small town foreign women
but surely they hiss in Toronto!
Male chauvinism is an integral part of Anglo culture "in the same way" as machismo in Latino
culture. However, both Anglo and Spanish systems have certain patriarchal
aspects, and that they are intrinsic parts of each culture, but they are not
the same, they have distinct histories and different developmental paths.
When compare Spanish Jurisprudence with English Com-
mon law and you will see that there are huge differences in ownership of prop-
erty, modes of alienation, and rights. Under English Common Law, women were the
property of men. That is not true in Spanish law. Moreover, a Spanish settler
could come to the Americas only with the permission of his wife. If he
was here without it, we would be deported--it was the reality, not just the
law.
There is a tendency sometimes, when we are unacquainted with other cultures
to say, As my grandfather always used to say, "In my country, all the same only different."
Machismo, I will repeat, is not the same as male chauvinist which has deep
roots not only in custom and tradition but in Anglo law.
Chauvinism and machismo are truly disturbing cultural traditions that are passed down
from preceding generations with a very tough cycle to break.
Monkey see, monkey do. LIGHTS OUT. Goodnight.
Male chauvinism is an integral part of Anglo culture "in the same way" as machismo in Latino
culture. However, both Anglo and Spanish systems have certain patriarchal
aspects, and that they are intrinsic parts of each culture, but they are not
the same, they have distinct histories and different developmental paths.
When compare Spanish Jurisprudence with English Com-
mon law and you will see that there are huge differences in ownership of prop-
erty, modes of alienation, and rights. Under English Common Law, women were the
property of men. That is not true in Spanish law. Moreover, a Spanish settler
could come to the Americas only with the permission of his wife. If he
was here without it, we would be deported--it was the reality, not just the
law.
There is a tendency sometimes, when we are unacquainted with other cultures
to say, As my grandfather always used to say, "In my country, all the same only different."
Machismo, I will repeat, is not the same as male chauvinist which has deep
roots not only in custom and tradition but in Anglo law.
Chauvinism and machismo are truly disturbing cultural traditions that are passed down
from preceding generations with a very tough cycle to break.
Monkey see, monkey do. LIGHTS OUT. Goodnight.
And by discussion that usually means responding to the same topic of conversation as everyone else, not just have a chat with yourself somewhere in the corner. But, horses for courses, I am sure you re blowing your mind.:nervous:
there are plenty of well-to-do girls here, brought up by rich and influential parents. do you think danilo medina's daughters ride on a stick of some poor bar tender from cienfuegos? please, don't give me that junk. you can create an environment where your girl will have nothing to do with chopo rats.
of course, you can still have all the money and influence and still come up with paris hilton but i would not blame her fall on dominican machos
Dv8; Danilo has 5 beauties, and like you say they probably do well, as most rich and influential do in D.R. The daughters of the uper classes, not only dont do chopo rats...but stay pretty much in their perceived social class.
Men, I know how you feel. Myself I only have one child and it's a daughter living in the DR, therefore I have decided to go back and take care of her upbringing. Having seen and experienced a lot myself I can say I'm a tigre and I'm going to teach my daughter everything I know of the game plus some deadly hand to hand combat. I'm gonna give her the tools in order to survive and make something of herself no matter where she is.
My bad luck is that I'm ugly and therefore have a beautiful daughter.
My bad luck is that I'm ugly and therefore have a beautiful daughter.
You maybe have something there, our reactions to protect our daughters so dearly is quite possibly a light on our own minds and thoughts in our adolescence, well never mind adolescence, years of singledom.:ermm:
Congratulations, you have a very cute daughter
Men, I know how you feel. Myself I only have one child and it's a daughter living in the DR, therefore I have decided to go back and take care of her upbringing. Having seen and experienced a lot myself I can say I'm a tigre and I'm going to teach my daughter everything I know of the game plus some deadly hand to hand combat. I'm gonna give her the tools in order to survive and make something of herself no matter where she is.
My bad luck is that I'm ugly and therefore have a beautiful daughter.
I don't want to rain on your parade, but I think it was in a book "Freakonomics" where they showed scientific proof that in the short run (e.g. immediate behavior, +/- a year or two ) the environment has much more influence than family, and family has influence only over very long run. To that effect, a child from bad family living in a good neighborhood turns out generally better than a child from good family living in a bad neighborhood. Also family genetics have a LOT to do with how the child turns out to be, and not only direct (parents) genetics but even a several-levels-up-the-family-tree genetics.
I think the best way to teach your girl how she should be treated is to treat her and her Mom well and with the utmost respect. She will have a good example right in front of her and will not fall for anyone's BS. There are men who don't treat women well in every country. You can't escape from this. Good luck!
Try to set a good example with how you interact with your wife. If your wife is a strong, take-no-crap type of person, this will go a long way.
In adolescence, the hardest part will be her friends. If she has friends who are into sports and other activities, this will help. If her friends are the type that worry about their hair and make-up exclusively and talking about what boy likes them to the exclusion of more fulfilling social activities, this will be a problem.
Quite a few young, beautiful Latinas I know are woefully one-dimensional. Even if a young lady comes from a poor family, if she's out trying to make her high school volleyball team and/or has responsibilities from the after-school academic clubs she's involved with, the likelihood that she'll see herself as not much more than a sex object for men to drool over will be greatly diminished.
In other words, the more your daughter is engaged in positive, challenging activities in life the less she'll need the attention of men to boost her self-esteem because she would have already developed a positive self-image.
As for the tigres, nothing you can do about that. If she has a healthy sense of self-worth the comments and the stares will be as far as it goes.
In adolescence, the hardest part will be her friends. If she has friends who are into sports and other activities, this will help. If her friends are the type that worry about their hair and make-up exclusively and talking about what boy likes them to the exclusion of more fulfilling social activities, this will be a problem.
Quite a few young, beautiful Latinas I know are woefully one-dimensional. Even if a young lady comes from a poor family, if she's out trying to make her high school volleyball team and/or has responsibilities from the after-school academic clubs she's involved with, the likelihood that she'll see herself as not much more than a sex object for men to drool over will be greatly diminished.
In other words, the more your daughter is engaged in positive, challenging activities in life the less she'll need the attention of men to boost her self-esteem because she would have already developed a positive self-image.
As for the tigres, nothing you can do about that. If she has a healthy sense of self-worth the comments and the stares will be as far as it goes.
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Believe me, you don't want to. The woman referred to as "Superhead" is so abominably despicable that if she were my daughter I'd take her out.
I have no words for how genuinely repulsive and sickening she is.
Basically a gold digger/video vixen, now author, she got her nickname Superhead from a skill she is famous for
Karrine Steffans - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Karrine Steffans - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Basically a gold digger/video vixen, now author, she got her nickname Superhead from a skill she is famous for
Karrine Steffans - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
So why would people associate our daughters with her?
Never heard of her, must be an American fame thing!