I found This Hard to Believe

[Yourmaninvegas]

@kenshireen I would make it a short boat ride to see if she has sea legs. And make sure you gots some dramamine or it's generic equivalent.

I understand the cynicism by many on this board.

That is putting mildly brother.
Putting it how it really is will get the whip put on me yet again
Follow your ❤️
Just keep your 👀 open

 

[william webster]

Thank you Mr Webster.

If she tells me she has not seen a boat I believe her... I know her living conditions and life style. It's poverty and deprivation.. And to be honest it breaks my heart. Furthermore she hasn't any reason not to be honest with me.
I want to expand her horizons if possible. It would be so exciting to see her reactions to get her on a boat or a plane etc. Things that she has never experienced and has no concept as to what the experience would be like. Like a kid in the candy store.

Bill, If I may call you that, I am in love with this woman on several levels. I am not a fool. I understand that she wants things that she never had and probably is never going to have and that I am a conduit for her. But she is also a good hard working woman and she has a moral compass. Yes, there are hiccups in our communication...words mean one thing in English and something else in Spanish and vice versa. Yes, there are major differences in cultures.... She has no clue about my culture, while I have immersed myself in hers

But there is a very strong emotional connection that has been formed over the past year. A day never passes that we do not communicate. Even if it is only to say goodnight.

I understand the cynicism by many on this board. Yes, they have lived in the DR and I am just a naïve gringo. An old, well to do married man and an indigent 34 YO DR unmarried mother of 2.
But they do not see the nature of our daily communications, nor can they see the desolation and loneliness in her eyes like I do... or the tears of unhappiness that we have shed together.. Or the undying commitment that we have to each other.

Well said....

as someone has said and you allude to.... one word in Spanish or English doesn't always translate the same

Barca may be one... ship or boat?
With some conversation you'll figure it out

 

[johne]

Well said....

as someone has said and you allude to.... one word in Spanish or English doesn't always translate the same

Barca may be one... ship or boat?
With some conversation you'll figure it out

Very true. Reading your post I remember seeing a boat on the horizon and telling my amor come see the "cow". What a difference a letter makes. We to this day laugh about it .

 

[kenshireen]

Can we clarify that she has probably never seen a cruise ship? I'm guessing she's probably seen a small boat.

When I asked her the question I said "has visto un barco". So to be honest I don't know how she interpreted that and I am not going to press her on this because I suspect it will only get more confusing.. If I mention a cruise ship to her I question if she would understand the difference between a barco and a "cruise ship"

 

[bob saunders]

When I asked her the question I said "has visto un barco". So to be honest I don't know how she interpreted that and I am not going to press her on this because I suspect it will only get more confusing.. If I mention a cruise ship to her I question if she would understand the difference between a barco and a "cruise ship"

Well if you had asked if she had seen un Bote pequeño her answer might have been different.

 

[william webster]

Cruzera, barca carga, barca, bote.............surely there are more

 

[NALs]

Can we clarify that she has probably never seen a cruise ship? I'm guessing she's probably seen a small boat.

If Cap Cana was a small place and most wasn't inland, sure.

Many people here are assuming that if someone works in Cap Cana that it's a given they have been to the marina. Do people realize the marina is not even 10% of Cap Cana and there are people that work in Cap Cana and the sole reason they go there is simply to work. They make a beeline from the entrace to their place of work and later another beeline on the way out, and whatever is along the way is all they see of Cap Cana.

Anyone doubts\ there are Cap Cana workers that have never seen the Punta Espada golf course? What about the Scape Park?

 

[CristoRey]

I have friends here in Santiago who are in their 40's and who never been to a beach, only the rivers. I think if she's living around PCana she may never have spent time on a boat but she's certainly seen a few.
Perhaps she told you that with the hope of you responding with "would you like me to show you one/ take you on a boat ride?"

In this country it is quite common for people to hint around to things without actually telling you whats on their mind which unfortunately causes problems sometimes for those of us who aren't mind readers or quick to pick up on how things really work down here. Both women and men do it.

I got lucky when I first arrived in the DR several years ago a female friend of mine gave me a lot of good advice about these women and most of what she told me has turned out to be spot on.

 

[gregvolt]

I met an intern once at cbs TV in Manhattan, she had never been out of Manhattan in her life.

 

[kenshireen]

I have friends here in Santiago who are in their 40's and who never been to a beach, only the rivers. I think if she's living around PCana she may never have spent time on a boat but she's certainly seen a few.
Perhaps she told you that with the hope of you responding with "would you like me to show you one/ take you on a boat ride?"

In this country it is quite common for people to hint around to things without actually telling you whats on their mind which unfortunately causes problems sometimes for those of us who aren't mind readers or quick to pick up on how things really work down here. Both women and men do it.

I got lucky when I first arrived in the DR several years ago a female friend of mine gave me a lot of good advice about these women and most of what she told me has turned out to be spot on.

She lives primarily in Veron.... Takes bus door to door

 

[william webster]

If you actually think about their lives …. It’s pretty pathetic by our standards

most stand ZERO chance of ever leaving the country let alone their own neighborhood

boredom is rampant, that leads to unemployment and other social woes

as for the women, sooner they wake up to the fact that the Dominican men are not worth their time
multiple women, no $$ support…..

having an older partner (Gringo or not) is not unusual in this society, it seems to me

 

[CristoRey]

having an older partner (Gringo or not) is not unusual in this society, it seems to me

It's more acceptable than it is back home and it's a big reason a lot of single men retire in Latin American countries.

 

[william webster]

hahaha.... built in care !!!

both parties are happy

Our man Ken is on the right track..... we hope!

 

[Northern Coast Diver]

She lives primarily in Veron... gets up...walks to the bus station...takes a bus to hotel...gets off work..walks to bus....takes a bus back to Veron.
On days of she takes a bus from Cap Cana to Romana via Higuey.

Can you understand why she may never have seen a boat?

No, where she lives and works, it's close to impossible, that she has never seen a boat. Is this the first time that you will meet her?

 

[flyinroom]

If Cap Cana was a small place and most wasn't inland, sure.

Many people here are assuming that if someone works in Cap Cana that it's a given they have been to the marina. Do people realize the marina is not even 10% of Cap Cana and there are people that work in Cap Cana and the sole reason they go there is simply to work. They make a beeline from the entrace to their place of work and later another beeline on the way out, and whatever is along the way is all they see of Cap Cana.

Anyone doubts\ there are Cap Cana workers that have never seen the Punta Espada golf course? What about the Scape Park?

I agree with this observation.
I was witness to it myself back in the nineties.
Most of the hotel employees have a lot more on their mind other than sandy white beaches, blue sea and/or boats of any description.
They don't have that luxury.
All they want to do is travel to work, work, get paid, go home.
Rinse, repeat.
Generally speaking, of course.
I'm not surprised that the op's friend says she never saw a boat.
It's all in the perspective.

 

[william webster]

No, where she lives and works, it's close to impossible, that she has never seen a boat. Is this the first time that you will meet her?

no, no no...... read back.....

 

[kenshireen]

I agree with this observation.
I was witness to it myself back in the nineties.
Most of the hotel employees have a lot more on their mind other than sandy white beaches, blue sea and/or boats of any description.
They don't have that luxury.
All they want to do is travel to work, work, get paid, go home.
Rinse, repeat.
Generally speaking, of course.
I'm not surprised that the op's friend says she never saw a boat.
It's all in the perspective.

Thank you... because your description is extremely on point in this matter. I know her schedule from the moment she wakes up..
She leaves the house at about 5:50 walks to the bus station in Veron...gets on the bus around 6:10... tries to take a nap... Gets off the bus at Secrets at about 6:35....walks in the kitchen and sits down and has something to eat/drink... Than it is off to work in the buffet. At 4:00 or whenever they decide to let her go...she grabs the bus and heads back home to Veron...
She has no money for any sort of vacation.... and when she gets her few days of month free... she goes from CC to Romana via higuey (a long ride in total) and spends a few days with her children... and then takes the bus back to Veron and the cycle begins again.

What a shitty life for someone who I really care about.

 

[Yourmaninvegas]

What a (inappropriate language deleted to avoid another hit with the whip for quoting it) life for someone who I really care about.

Dominicans have lived, survived and thrived for a very long time without any outside help.
Sounds like a very honorable life.
Nothing to be pitied or looked down upon
In my opinion

I did not grow up privileged my country of origin,
Keptm on my grind until I got mine and was able to level up.

 

[kenshireen]

If you actually think about their lives …. It’s pretty pathetic by our standards

most stand ZERO chance of ever leaving the country let alone their own neighborhood

boredom is rampant, that leads to unemployment and other social woes

as for the women, sooner they wake up to the fact that the Dominican men are not worth their time
multiple women, no $$ support…..

having an older partner (Gringo or not) is not unusual in this society, it seems to me

You're breaking my heart with the truth... On her days off she sits with her Tias and primas in broken down gravely yards sitting on crappy plastic chairs and just playing with phones or whatever... They have no hobbies... no pasttimes....no outside interests...

My WORSE fear about going down and being with her is that she will not be able to relate to the life I would like her to experience. I know for myself that I cannot live in poverty and I would have to take her away from her aunts/cousins... She has no parents.
I would obviously would take her children. I know she desires things that I can provide for.... and I am ok for her asking. This is just human nature. When you love someone you want to provide if you have the means.

I have told her the only requirement i have is to be 100% honest and speak the truth. I was very clear when I made this statement and followed it with a warning that if there is ever any form of deception that I will be gone from her life forever. Only once before did she try for "something extra" and I told her that this was her last chance. I know she looks at me as a way out of poverty,,, but can you remove the poverty from the person.

You got to realize I am married and my wife loves me and wants me.. It's a f*ing nightmare. I love 2 women...2 women love me. My Wife REALLY loves me but I have never physically been with my GF since I met her last august at the hotel. Yet I have an extreme connection with the DR woman and its not based on her appearance. I see her without any makeup most of the time. Many of these woman don't have "natural beauty" but rather when they are made up they look like another person.

 

[kenshireen]

Dominicans have lived, survived and thrived for a very long time without any outside help.
Sounds like a very honorable life.
Nothing to be pitied or looked down upon
In my opinion

I did not grow up privileged my country of origin,
Keptm on my grind until I got mine and was able to level up.

Yes, I admire their resourcefulness and tenacity.. They don't stay home from work because they have a headache or because they have to take their child to the doctor.
But I will say this... The place this woman works at treats her poorly....they work her to death...and when she doesn't feel well they don't let her go to the doctor.
and its an upscale property. No increase in salary even though everything around is costing more.

I do not pity them nor look down on anyone. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to help someone that I care about. no?