- Thread starter SKing
- Start date
I need personal OPINIONS, without personal ATTACKS
- Status
Thanks everyone!!! I got alot of good advice from people that care, I am taking everything into consideration.
AZB...sugar dumpling...reverse psychology doesn't work on me, but thanks for trying though. You talk a tough game but you're just a big 'ol softee
SHALENA
AZB...sugar dumpling...reverse psychology doesn't work on me, but thanks for trying though. You talk a tough game but you're just a big 'ol softee
SHALENA
They are not looking for the Nurses that "really want it", they are looking for the best.
SHALENA
nighty-night y'all!
As an adult I have relocated to four different countries for work without ever having even visited the places before. This included the DR where we ended up living for 9 years. While we tried to keep the childrens' opinions and desires in mind each time we decided to move to another country the bottom line is that as adults we must make the final decision that is best for the family in the long run.
Think of this job opportunity as contract labor - it isn't that long of a period when you consider that your children have at least two long holidays each 12 month period that they could go and stay in the DR. Most schools are out at least two weeks for Christmas holidays and for at least 2 months in the summer - plenty of time to play in Santiago.
While it is true that we don't know if our time is up tomorrow we must also keep in mind that we might have decades more time in front of us. Try to enjoy each day like it might be your last but plan like you have to support yourself and your family for forty more years.
I believe that you should show the children the example of hard work as well as dedication to education by accepting this position. It is after all a chance for you to continue your education while being paid to do so, instead of paying to attend school. What better role model can you be?
Think of this job opportunity as contract labor - it isn't that long of a period when you consider that your children have at least two long holidays each 12 month period that they could go and stay in the DR. Most schools are out at least two weeks for Christmas holidays and for at least 2 months in the summer - plenty of time to play in Santiago.
While it is true that we don't know if our time is up tomorrow we must also keep in mind that we might have decades more time in front of us. Try to enjoy each day like it might be your last but plan like you have to support yourself and your family for forty more years.
I believe that you should show the children the example of hard work as well as dedication to education by accepting this position. It is after all a chance for you to continue your education while being paid to do so, instead of paying to attend school. What better role model can you be?
Shalena,
I have followed your posts over the years and after a break from the forum was totally amazed at the turn of events in your story. Selling up, pregnant, back in the US - and now, at yet another crossroads.
I truly believe, like some of the others, that you have already made your mind up. I think that you are looking for support to reinforce that decision. Most of the people on here are weighing it up with clear heads, common sense, and as outsiders. For possibly the first time ever, I agree with AZB. You are thinking with your heart - nothing wrong with that if that is the way you want it for you and the kids, but you have to live with it.
However, living on half the money - in a country with steadily rising prices? Turning down an opportunity that would provide training, stability and the chance to do whatever you want in a few years time?
I returned to the UK six years ago - an operation on my spine which I had to pay for myself, severely dented my bank balance and I wasn't prepared to sacrifice my standard of living so moved back home. There hasn't been a day that I miss the DR, but regret it, never!
Think it over carefully, listen to the very sensible opinions you are being given, and remember that the depression could well be associated with the birth of your baby, the absence of his father, and the hormonal changes you are not doubt encountering.
Whatever you decide, Good Luck
Rio
I have followed your posts over the years and after a break from the forum was totally amazed at the turn of events in your story. Selling up, pregnant, back in the US - and now, at yet another crossroads.
I truly believe, like some of the others, that you have already made your mind up. I think that you are looking for support to reinforce that decision. Most of the people on here are weighing it up with clear heads, common sense, and as outsiders. For possibly the first time ever, I agree with AZB. You are thinking with your heart - nothing wrong with that if that is the way you want it for you and the kids, but you have to live with it.
However, living on half the money - in a country with steadily rising prices? Turning down an opportunity that would provide training, stability and the chance to do whatever you want in a few years time?
I returned to the UK six years ago - an operation on my spine which I had to pay for myself, severely dented my bank balance and I wasn't prepared to sacrifice my standard of living so moved back home. There hasn't been a day that I miss the DR, but regret it, never!
Think it over carefully, listen to the very sensible opinions you are being given, and remember that the depression could well be associated with the birth of your baby, the absence of his father, and the hormonal changes you are not doubt encountering.
Whatever you decide, Good Luck
Rio
Hi there
My sister use to say; "When it?s hard to make a decition, stay back, take i slow and let the answer come to you."
You?ve got at great opportunity know, I say take it. If in meanwhile you notice that it makes you feel bad and you can?t cope with the situation...then take a new decition. But I say, give it a try.
Good luck to you and to your children. Life doesn?t get better our worse than you make it.
Lots of symphaty
Carina
My sister use to say; "When it?s hard to make a decition, stay back, take i slow and let the answer come to you."
You?ve got at great opportunity know, I say take it. If in meanwhile you notice that it makes you feel bad and you can?t cope with the situation...then take a new decition. But I say, give it a try.
Good luck to you and to your children. Life doesn?t get better our worse than you make it.
Lots of symphaty
Carina
Congratulations being selected for this residency and the opportunity to make a real career breakthough. This will give you a choice down the road and more options and open more doors for you around the world. You will always have the choice to stay or go. You can of course bail on this program at any time if you find you absolutely hate being an operating room nurse and go back to being a "casual" nurse, but at least you have a choice and that is real freedom something we all crave. But you need to get some support around you with four children (a nanny? a family? a great daycare at the hospital?) especially since you have mentioned some blues and depression. You will be under more stress, but I believe you can get through it. Best of luck to you, the DR will always be there for you but this is a great opportunity. Go for it!
So now you know how Japanese, Germans and 50% of Americans, those not on welfare, work ? and how the rest of the world gets to loll around lots in bananaland, cashing remittance checks from their ambitious relatives.
Soon you'll know that those countries have gone broke, aren't making babies anymore, and won't be able to support the bananalanders. Then what? Give your kids a chance while it lasts. They may be the last generation to take milk from the supposedly developed world.
Soon you'll know that those countries have gone broke, aren't making babies anymore, and won't be able to support the bananalanders. Then what? Give your kids a chance while it lasts. They may be the last generation to take milk from the supposedly developed world.
Thinking with your heart gets you into the kind of trouble that thinking with your head could have kept you out of.
I am sorry, but if you brought 4 kids into the world without the direct, day-to-day influence of their biological father, you have no business thinking of anything but of THEIR future, period.
To even ~think` of anything else shows you don't have the absolute dedication toward their future and welfare, that somehow YOUR temporal pleasure is more important than THEIR future.
There is NO WAY those kids can get anywhere near the solid, recognized edumacation in the DR they can get in Chapel Hill.
To consider a move to the DR compared to the opportunity in front of you @ UNC is irresponsible.
Harsh? Perhaps. But maybe somebody needs to be...
I am sorry, but if you brought 4 kids into the world without the direct, day-to-day influence of their biological father, you have no business thinking of anything but of THEIR future, period.
To even ~think` of anything else shows you don't have the absolute dedication toward their future and welfare, that somehow YOUR temporal pleasure is more important than THEIR future.
There is NO WAY those kids can get anywhere near the solid, recognized edumacation in the DR they can get in Chapel Hill.
To consider a move to the DR compared to the opportunity in front of you @ UNC is irresponsible.
Harsh? Perhaps. But maybe somebody needs to be...
Alot of good posts here. It's funny how alot of you think you know me, and really you know nothing. Those that follow me on Facebook know that I was offered the job almost a month ago, I accepted it on the spot. Duh...
I WAS looking for validation with this thread but not for what you thought. I was just having DR Blues and wanted to see what others would do in thus situation, so that I could remind myself that I made the right decision. I leased a townhome in Chapel Hill last week.
I do feel better now though because alot of you reinforced the reasons that I decided to stay.
But to those of you who think I am irresponsible and shallow, that I am chasing some Dominican man....maybe you should've come to one of my BBQs in Santiago and gotten to know me personally or at least ask one of the many DR1ers who does and you would not have jumped to such assanine conclusions.
Did I spell "assanine" right?
Thanks again guys
SHALENA
I WAS looking for validation with this thread but not for what you thought. I was just having DR Blues and wanted to see what others would do in thus situation, so that I could remind myself that I made the right decision. I leased a townhome in Chapel Hill last week.
I do feel better now though because alot of you reinforced the reasons that I decided to stay.
But to those of you who think I am irresponsible and shallow, that I am chasing some Dominican man....maybe you should've come to one of my BBQs in Santiago and gotten to know me personally or at least ask one of the many DR1ers who does and you would not have jumped to such assanine conclusions.
Did I spell "assanine" right?
Thanks again guys
SHALENA
Really? Possibly.
I only know what you POSTED.
I cannot read your mind. I TRUSTED you presented ALL the facts, but seems like you didn't, except for for your facebook friends.
Maybe next time when looking for validation for a decision YOU ALREADY MADE you just might present ALL the facts before you begin trolling for advice...or validation.
No, I don't know you. Few here do. But from what you've presented here you have made NUMEROUS bad decisions, and documented them on a public forum.
If you wanted advice/validation only from people who KNOW you, couldn't this entire thread have been better managed back-channel? Otherwise, WTF do you expect?
Let me see now, you accepted the job almost a month ago but you posted the following less than two weeks ago.
.......Thanks, Lucille, we will see you in person soon because we will be back in Santiago in September. I will probably have a BBQ get together once I'm settled after a couple of months.
SHALENA
Duh................
I was also under the impression that you had yet to decide one way or the other. Your OP was a little misleading.
Sometimes you don't have to know someone to "know" them - it is the circumstances that I was looking at and not your personality or background.
Life is about making compromises and acceptance when things aren't perfect.
I wish I had the money to live in the DR comfortably, but I haven't and I can't. I have tried working there ( for a pittance) and I have tried the zipping back and forth every 3 or 4 months, neither really worked for me.
I am sure that you have made the right decision in accepting the new job. Once the idea is in all of your heads that you are staying in the US you can start to build your life around that instead of constantly thinking "what if ?"
Later on, you can start thinking about returning to the DR. Please don't fall out with people on here, you will feel worse afterwards.
Good Luck
Rio
- Status