My vent thread for the first quarter of 2009

Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
5,898
550
113
Like I stated before, SKing needs to ask herself what she is looking for in her new life in the DR.

She is raising children by herself and needs a network of responsible people in lieu of family members that could of come in handy when things get tight.

Unlike the stereotype that has been perpetuated ad nauseum here on DR1, SKing is realizing that campo people are not necessarily the salt of the Earth.

The lines between classes are clearly delineated for a reason. This may sound offensive, but there is the reason why you cannot have people with much less than you as friends.

SKing-it is not your responsibility to help people in supposed need. You already do that for a living. Let these people organize and put pressure on their government. That's the way its' been done since time began.

They need to figure out how to solve their own problems.

Think about them using your money for beer and caba?as. That will make you much less sympathetic, which is what you need to be with these people.
 

RGVgal

Bronze
May 26, 2008
1,314
38
0
Not so fast honcho, I have been listening many years to my Dominican family and relatives etc. and this attitude that foreigners have so much wealth is hardly caused by do-gooders that come or have been to the DR because if it were so they would be discussing the rich Americans and missionaries who come here and give away their money - and they don't.

They do discuss that in the US "todo es possible" and live with the myth that one can go to the US and accumulate tens of thousands of dollars in a short period of time. This myth is further nurtured and kept alive by the countless Dominicans who live abroad that return here and perpetuate this myth as it is to their benefit by spending tons of money on gifts and parties and bling.

Nice try though.

I agree..This attitude that we are all rich in the U.S. is perpetuated by Dominicans that save all yr so that they can go back to the DR and pretend like they are living it up in the states. Most are probably working a crappy factory/bodega job and share a room with 4 others in the U.S. They then go to the DR and spend like they have money to throw away.

Sking, you need to learn to say "Lo siento, pero no tengo dinero" Tell everyone you have a ton of bills in the U.S. you need to pay off and that you could loose your job any minute and may actually need their help.
 

SKing

Silver
Nov 22, 2007
3,750
183
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The biggest problem is that I let my kindness be mistaken for weakness. In doing my "budget" for 2009 (in hopes of better managing my money), I was astonished how I was being taken. The amount that I have been spending monthly in "helping" could easily support 2 or 3 families (to their standards). I don't mind a little help now and then but what has been happening is that they no longer want help....they want to use and abuse. I am sick and tired of it, and the looks I received when I was invited to several Christmas eve dinners to which I showed up without gifts that these people had been hinting on for 2 months. It didn't matter that I had probably "helped" them with more than their annual salaries in 3 months.
I am now working on myself, reading a book that is helping me to figure out what I am subconsciously or consciously doing to attract these types of people.
I have made the decision that noone gets ANYTHING from me ANYMORE. The cow's milk is dry..........People have taken my kind heart for a sucker and now we are about to see what they really are about.
One came to my house last week claiming that her grandmother was visiting and she was from an even POORER campo and that they had no food and could she "borrow" 3000RD. I told her that I didn't have 3000RD but I had food. I made her a bag with a couple of packs of chicken and a pack of bistec and a few pkgs of sopa con fideos. Her face changed drastically and we talked for a little while and then she left....forgetting the food.:surprised When I called her she told me that it was ok because her mom went to buy some food....jajaja I'm sure she did.
I cannot change the past, I cannot change these peoples' conception of me....all I can do is change the now and the future. I am now getting "Masages Anti-Estres" from a place in Santiago with some of the money I am saving from letting these leeches go. And the kids and I are treating ourselves to TGI Friday's! Life is good.................
I knew that I was special.......I'm on to stage 2!
SHALENA
 

PICHARDO

One Dominican at a time, please!
May 15, 2003
13,280
893
113
Santiago de Los 30 Caballeros
Not so fast honcho, I have been listening many years to my Dominican family and relatives etc. and this attitude that foreigners have so much wealth is hardly caused by do-gooders that come or have been to the DR because if it were so they would be discussing the rich Americans and missionaries who come here and give away their money - and they don't.

They do discuss that in the US "todo es possible" and live with the myth that one can go to the US and accumulate tens of thousands of dollars in a short period of time. This myth is further nurtured and kept alive by the countless Dominicans who live abroad that return here and perpetuate this myth as it is to their benefit by spending tons of money on gifts and parties and bling.

Nice try though.

Sorry! But pre 1980's the US was not on our list of countries to visit and permanently stay at as residents.

The middle class back in 'the late 60's, 70's and early 80's, made it a point to evade the US almost to a "T" since racial discrimination was palpable in almost all states of the Union there. Most travel for Dominicans meant today's EU and to some extent LA countries.

It was practically impossible to visit a beauty parlor and not hear the ladies talk about the latest clothier in Paris or Vienna... While having their perms and other usual things applied with German and over all European products in about 99% of the instances.

US goods at the time, were considered just as Chinese goods are today, cheap and of lesser quality. So much is this truth that even today Dominican women prefer Italian shoes over any American top purveyor 10 to 1...

You can still visit plenty beauty parlors today in the DR's interior and find multiple German and Italian devices still in use today...

The stampede to the US, more like to New York in essence, was the direct result of a failed economic policy and the collapse of an export economy based on sugar and bananas... The DR exports at the time where what we could call today "figments" of the present trading complexity.

The first people to come back were those, that fault be at the US consulate at the time, from the lowest economic levels that took the opportunity that we had two US consulates offering Visa like hot dogs on a July 4th picnic...

One in SD and the other in Santiago. They gave Visas to anybody that could present a Dominican Passport and willing to buy a fare on the almost then empty return planes to the US mainland.

Not only a year Visa, but multiple entries with 5 to ten years effective in them...

They did a poor job of screening Visa seekers, instead wanting to create a major flow of passengers/visitors to their country in order to aid their economic interests.

Most of the people that took their Visas were from the campos, poor nabes and a few from the middle class now affected by the downturn in the country developing then.

They lived and tasted the discrimination first hand once they made their way into the well researched "sweat shops" aka Factories there.

The ones that came with their criminal background, found fertile lawns to seed with their weeds. Word has it that a Dominican named Yayo (of the two brothers that built Ambis disco in Santiago) was the father and creator of Crack cocaine in one of his drugs induced light bulb moments. The rest is history today...

The crews made their way there unopposed and unrivaled for a good reason! They were merciless and quite lethal to cross path with...

Colombians provided the infamous "Neck Ties"", the Dominican crews provided the "Riverside Blvd of Horrors"...

Then the crews made their way back home, money and all. Kids immediately noticed the Cadenuses and Crakeros (there's a perfect term they called them but it misses my fingertips by a millimeter) with their late model rides, gold, wads of cash, good looking girls, nice homes popping up like weeds and decided that it was the way they wanted to be like when they grew up.

That's what we sent to the inviting USA and that was also what we got back as kind repayment for our graciousness...

So as you can see, it was all imported by our good friends of the USA!

Heck! A 14yo kid was happy going to see E.T. at the local theatre back then, now they're more into gunplay, a late model car and having the financial backdrop of a retired 45+ hardworking biz man, sans the hard work of course!

Hope this enlightens you a bit!
 

Chip

Platinum
Jul 25, 2007
16,772
429
0
Santiago
Pichardo,

Remind me again what country you live in????

Don't change the subject and you can forget about trying to diminish the realities of the DR TODAY here in the DR! el pipo!
 

Chip

Platinum
Jul 25, 2007
16,772
429
0
Santiago
The biggest problem is that I let my kindness be mistaken for weakness. In doing my "budget" for 2009 (in hopes of better managing my money), I was astonished how I was being taken. The amount that I have been spending monthly in "helping" could easily support 2 or 3 families (to their standards). I don't mind a little help now and then but what has been happening is that they no longer want help....they want to use and abuse. I am sick and tired of it, and the looks I received when I was invited to several Christmas eve dinners to which I showed up without gifts that these people had been hinting on for 2 months. It didn't matter that I had probably "helped" them with more than their annual salaries in 3 months.
I am now working on myself, reading a book that is helping me to figure out what I am subconsciously or consciously doing to attract these types of people.
I have made the decision that noone gets ANYTHING from me ANYMORE. The cow's milk is dry..........People have taken my kind heart for a sucker and now we are about to see what they really are about.
One came to my house last week claiming that her grandmother was visiting and she was from an even POORER campo and that they had no food and could she "borrow" 3000RD. I told her that I didn't have 3000RD but I had food. I made her a bag with a couple of packs of chicken and a pack of bistec and a few pkgs of sopa con fideos. Her face changed drastically and we talked for a little while and then she left....forgetting the food.:surprised When I called her she told me that it was ok because her mom went to buy some food....jajaja I'm sure she did.
I cannot change the past, I cannot change these peoples' conception of me....all I can do is change the now and the future. I am now getting "Masages Anti-Estres" from a place in Santiago with some of the money I am saving from letting these leeches go. And the kids and I are treating ourselves to TGI Friday's! Life is good.................
I knew that I was special.......I'm on to stage 2!
SHALENA

You have learned a very good lesson and I'm sure this one will stick.

I still give money to my wife's family as needed for medical items but since I know how these people live and what they make I undertsand that sometimes they just can't do it. This isn't a whole lot either, around US70 a month for the inlaws medecine(they are diabetics) and some food and once in a while to the wife's brothers or sisters if they are in a tight spot and have to get some medecine for the kids.

Other than that and the nominal changes I give to beggars (like AMET) if people ask I tell them "no puedo, estoy PELADO."
 
Mar 2, 2008
2,902
544
0
"Hope this enlightens you a bit!"

Nope, not a bit.

Are you saying returning Dominicans, after being ruined by the US, are now the cause of the whelming attitude of "everyone else owes me a living" we witness now?
 

carlos

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 29, 2002
3,783
761
113
funny story told to me by my older brother years ago.


A guy lands in Santiago Airport. His buddy who he has not seen in years is waiting for him in a pick up with a case of presidentes ice cold in a cooler.

He says " compadre, le tenemo un sancocho preparao"

After drinking and eating, the guys look at his friend and says" compadre, deme mil peso para pagar todo lo que se gasto en bebida y comida para la fiesta de su llegada"

too funny


I agree that many of the Dominicans that go there are to blame. They can barely make it in the states but act like their money was growing on trees when visiting. They will even borrow jewelry to prove that they have "made it."
 

SKing

Silver
Nov 22, 2007
3,750
183
63
What is Pelado........
and would I say "Estoy pelada? Being I'm a woman?
SHALENA
 

PICHARDO

One Dominican at a time, please!
May 15, 2003
13,280
893
113
Santiago de Los 30 Caballeros
funny story told to me by my older brother years ago.


A guy lands in Santiago Airport. His buddy who he has not seen in years is waiting for him in a pick up with a case of presidentes ice cold in a cooler.

He says " compadre, le tenemo un sancocho preparao"

After drinking and eating, the guys look at his friend and says" compadre, deme mil peso para pagar todo lo que se gasto en bebida y comida para la fiesta de su llegada"

too funny


I agree that many of the Dominicans that go there are to blame. They can barely make it in the states but act like their money was growing on trees when visiting. They will even borrow jewelry to prove that they have "made it."

Not only that, but they need to pawn their gold chains and trinkets to be able to buy the return fare. A good 99% of the time the pawned goods are forfeited to the shops as they can barely pay their bills once they return to the US and EU...

A sad derivative from the extravagant spectacle the cadenuses arrivals created in the youth back in the days...
 

carlos

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 29, 2002
3,783
761
113
What is Pelado........
and would I say "Estoy pelada? Being I'm a woman?
SHALENA



means your broke

and as a cibaena, you woulld say " estoy pela" j/k

pelada is correct
 

ExtremeR

Silver
Mar 22, 2006
3,078
328
0
Welcome to living amongst peladores, sad to say it but it is true among poor Dominicans who get used to obtain "help" from their more fortunate friends. Most of the time that "help" that is given ends in the local colmado owner pockets after selling the needed ones a couple of box of beers.

If you have reached the case where people disrespect you as your friend who told you to pay the taxi fare without consulting you before hand, I think is better for you to start dropping those people as your friend and "alejarte un poquito" from them, you may say HI to them if you find them on the streets but that's it. If people start complaining that you have become a "tacania" tell them that you have kids and bills to look after, remember them that the economy situation is really bad and you have to think of yourself and your family first before others.
 
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PICHARDO

One Dominican at a time, please!
May 15, 2003
13,280
893
113
Santiago de Los 30 Caballeros
"Hope this enlightens you a bit!"

Nope, not a bit.

Are you saying returning Dominicans, after being ruined by the US, are now the cause of the whelming attitude of "everyone else owes me a living" we witness now?

You need to read the post again, a bit slower this time not in between lines...

Every nasty outbreak of a virus has an origin. I just provided you with the eye of the storm that today makes you seek shelter, once the winds get to move your terra firma from under you...
 

PICHARDO

One Dominican at a time, please!
May 15, 2003
13,280
893
113
Santiago de Los 30 Caballeros
Welcome to living amongst peladores, sad to say it but it is true among poor Dominicans who get used to obtain "help" from their more fortunate friends. Most of the time that "help" that is given ends in the local colmado owner pockets after selling the needed ones a couple of box of beers.

If you have reached the case where people disrespect you as your friend who told you to pay the taxi fare without consulting you before hand, I think is better for you to start dropping those people as your friend and "alejarte un poquito" from them, you may say HI to them if you find them on the streets but that's it. If people start complaining that you have become a "tacania" tell them that you have kids and bills to look after, remember them that the economy situation is really bad and you have to think of yourself and your family first before others.

Maybe a "La Pina esta Agria" could do the trick?!? LOL!!!
 

Chip

Platinum
Jul 25, 2007
16,772
429
0
Santiago
Welcome to living amongst peladores, sad to say it but it is true among poor Dominicans who get used to obtain "help" from their more fortunate friends. Most of the time that "help" that is given ends in the local colmado owner pockets after selling the needed ones a couple of box of beers.

If you have reached the case where people disrespect you as your friend who told you to pay the taxi fare without consulting you before hand, I think is better for you to start dropping those people as your friend and "alejarte un poquito" from them, you may say HI to them if you find them on the streets but that's it. If people start complaining that you have become a "tacania" tell them that you have kids and bills to look after, remember them that the economy situation is really bad and you have to think of yourself and your family first before others.

Well said.
 

Thandie

Bronze
Nov 27, 2007
694
80
0
You can't afford having a soft image or you will be run over by those who then think they are smart doing so.

... J-D.


This I agree with 100%. I dont play nice girl. And those who are inclined to take advantage back off quickly and go away. Good riddance.
 

Chip

Platinum
Jul 25, 2007
16,772
429
0
Santiago
This I agree with 100%. I dont play nice girl. And those who are inclined to take advantage back off quickly and go away. Good riddance.

There is no reason that refusing to give to people for whatever reason has to be not nice if done in a polite way. Furthermore, if they take it the wrong way that you can't afford to give then that indeed is considered "not nice" and I wouldn't hesitate to point this attitude if someone got an attitude. For the most part this doesn't and won't happen. The people just get the message real quick.
 

Thandie

Bronze
Nov 27, 2007
694
80
0
"Hope this enlightens you a bit!"

Nope, not a bit.

Are you saying returning Dominicans, after being ruined by the US, are now the cause of the whelming attitude of "everyone else owes me a living" we witness now?

Sorry but I agree with Chip and Cather on this one.
IMO, I think lack of education is the MAIN cause, not do gooders or the corrupt USA.

When the average Dominican child only has 400 hours of education for the year, while other children in the region receive 800+ hours of often better quality.....
THERIN LIES THE PROBLEM!!!!! The lack of quality education or the understanding of the importance of education and the negative affect it has on peoples lives (in the areas of developing discipline and work ethic, an understanding of the world, etc) is the cause of this virus.

There are many immigrants to the USA who return to their poor countires, and I have travelled to these countries and from my experience there is a different in this regard. And my Dominican friends who have travelled also agree.
One Dominican friend who was a very successful professional athlete and now business man and has lived all over the world said to me in his numerous wanings... ?I dont want you to think I hate my people, but even I have experienced people trying to take advantage numerous times, I just want you to be prepared so you are not turned off from my country, like so many others I know have been?.

The first week I was here, by accident, I met a very wealthy, professional and highly respected DR man here in POP. And after I told this very nice man that I was looking for a new place to live and my experiences of people ?trying?to take advantage of me, he became enraged and embarrassed and said ?look my people dont understand the concept of hard work and how hard North Americans work for their money and there are just too many who will try to take advantage.? He said he worked in the US for a few years but came back home cause all he did was work. He found me a great apartment at a great price, living with another prominent DR family, cause he wanted me to be with people who would never ask or need anything from me.