Should I marry her ?

[jose?to]

negative? I see. That did not take long. I warned you about considering us cynics, but now we are negative?
Well, go ahead, marry her. Now, how is that for "positive" comment? Money issues will NOT be your bigger concerns. As a Dominican, I can tell you that you WILL BE lied to. Lies may or may not involve money, but a lie is a lie.

 

[sarroj]

Cynicism is negative (at the very least, it's certainly not positive). The fact that you are saying that she absolutely, positively is going to lie (at least that's the way I am reading it - if I'm reading that wrong, please tell me), doesn't sound like a great endorsement here. BTW, that's not the first I've heard that, either. And I'm not getting a warm fuzzy feeling from Ken's comments, either.

*** Keep in mind, I'm not disputing what anyone here is saying - not for a minute - I'm dealing with a sub-culture I know nothing about. I'm new to this, and I know it. ***

I wish I got more positive comments, but if that's the way it is, then that's the way it is ......

 

[Criss Colon]

"My Turn"!

Two questions that I have not seen addressed.#1,How old is your "Friend?#2,Does she have any children?(Well,a "few" more questions)Where did you meet her?How soon after you met her did you sleep with her?Do you realize that 500 pesos here,and 500 pesos there,is a LOT of money to a poor person in the DR.Enough to keep her "screwing" you both in the carnal,and monetary senses!Where do you live?how often do you come to the DR?........I give this,or any relationship based solely on a "Lonely" man getting great sex from a young woman,two chances;"Slim"and "None",and "Slim" just got on a bus leaving town! I have seen virtually hundreds of cases exactly like yours over the past 17 years visiting, and now living,in the DR! Believe me,I would have done the same as you if not for previous "experiences" in other 3rd World Tropical Paradises!I give lots of pretty young dominican girls (previously 300,now 400 pesos,inflation you know!) to have great sex (At least "Great Sex" for ME!) with zero strings attached.They call me!As I said before your 500 pesos is a lot of money.Learn to separate SEX from a real loving relationship,if that is possible!You can post her picture,name,address,and telephone # here,and if she is a "FOX"(must be under 25 years old) we will "Test" her "Virtue" and place a report here on DR1 for you!I provide this "service" for a friend of mine, I "Always" get laid,and he gives me the money too! "What A Country"! Cris Colon cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

 

[Jan]

This poor girl! All you are putting her down, testing her virtue. Thats terrible. Send in the spies. Just doesn't seem fair to the girl to not hear whet she has to say and defend herself.
I say, give it time and see what happens. If you feel good then marry her. If your happy then thats all that counts. Help her family. If you have the money whats the harm in helping others out especially if they'er your family and you love their daughter. And then there is always divorce. If it doesn't work out. Which isn't really the best way to look at it but its an out if it gets ugly.

 

[sarroj]

I need to be vague to keep anonymity, but she's in her late 20's with a couple of kids (yea, that's a rarity !!). A few months past, before we did "the deed". And, I know a couple of guys (from the DR & from the US) that tried to date her, which she said no to.

I know 500 pesos is a bit of bucks, but I dole it out sparingly. Being the old bastard that I am, I'm pretty good at seperating sex from love (hell, it's not even love yet, but it's going that way). To be honest, I'm not even that lonely - I just like who I like.

And, finally - forget it - I ain't posting nothing ! I'm in the process of testing her virtue myself, thank you !

 

[sarroj]

Jan:

THANK YOU !!! THANK YOU !!! THANK YOU !!!!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

[AZB]

Stick to criss colon's advice and you will save yourself from a ton of troubles. If you follow your heart (in your case, the saluting soldier down below) then you are heading towards hell.
Totally ignore what Jan says, notice her reply was posted at 7:54am. She was still drunk and half alseep.

 

[AZB]

If she is in late 20's with 2 kids (I bet from 2 different men), trust me, no one will be interested in testing her virtues here. Again, stick to criss colon's advice; paid sex is always cheaper than what you might think of as free sex.

 

[Jan]

Is paid sex really better than love sex? You get off thats for sure but what about emotional support, being with someone you care about, having someone to talk to that really cares and knows you? You can't get that with a 1 nighter!

 

[Criss Colon]

Sarroj is not looking for advice!He is looking for approval!

Everyone gives him good advice,learned from our personal experience.Along comes Jan and says:"If you are HAPPY then thats all that counts"!(Jan,what have you been smoking today?)and "sarroj"falls all over himself posting "smily faces" and "Thank You's" to Jan! Please marry this girl ASAP my man! The thing I enjoy more than anything else in life is getting to say;"I told you so"!If you want to be a fool and marry a poor girl from the barrio of Puerto Plata,at least get an 18 year old with no kids.Her breasts will "salute" you in the morning,and you won't be paying for the girls mistakes (Two Kids)There is "No Fool Like An Old Fool",a stiff prick has no brain"!CRIS cccccccccccccccccCCCCCCCCCCCcccccCCCCCc

 

[sarroj]

Jeez, I'm ready to forget about my barrio girl, and ask Jan to marry me !!!

 

[Jan]

Guess I have always viewed the world through rose colored glasses. In my world people are good til they prove to be bad. People care about eachother til a person proves they'er not worhty of being cared about. Life is so short. Is it wrong to try and be happy with whats given you. You never know when it will end or things will change. I've been hurt before for sure. It just makes me a little more cautious but still can't live life looking for and expecting it to be bad. So if there's a chance to be happy, even for a little time shouldn't you go for it? Tomorrow will happen for sure..good and bad. So should you always live your life expecting bad to happen? You know bad will happen but don't live life looking for it. Not saying don't plan for tomorrow. But don't let tomorrow worries make you not enjoy today.
Don't know...am I off subject here?
And kids ..a problem if you make it a problem.Definatly a problem for me but maybe not an issue with another.

 

[sarroj]

Jan, you're a gem ! Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity !

 

[DRtechie]

All this reminds me why I've always said I would never marry another Dominican...yeap aside from the fact that I am not attracted to any.

Sarroj I just don't see how you plan on making this girl part of your life. As a professional wouldn't you want your wife to fit into your lifestyle and circle of friends? Like someone stated before, af first it will be a vanity but what happens when that's gone? Will you be able to introduce her to your friends and co-workers and will they be accepting of her? Will she be accepting of them? Will she share anything in common with ANYONE in your life to actually get along?

Get with the program man. Just the fact that she has kids with another man should be deterrant enough. If you're really serious about this girl then MOVE there and live like she does...see how much she wants you around then!

 

[Pib]

All this reminds me why I've always said I would never marry another Dominican

Excuse you!

 

[AtlantaBob]

Sarroj, go ahead and do it!

As someone said, you were really just looking for approval. You obviously want to marry the girl, so do it. Otherwise, you'll be questioning yourself for the rest of your life. I wish I had had a larger set of "cojones" when I was younger. But then who knows how life is going to turn out.

My big goal in life now is to hang out with Criss and his "friends". An 18 year old that "salutes" you in the morning??? It can't get much better that that!

Bob (lonely and horny in Atlanta)

 

[sarroj]

DRtechie

Y'know all the questions you're asking are complete unknowns (as they would be with alot of relationships). And the answer is the same as it would be in most relationships: Only time will tell. Will she be able to rise to the occasion(s) ? My feeling is yes. And if my friends aren't accepting of her, I need to reconsider my friendships, not her. As far as things in common, I think so: the nursing thing, she's into computers, she's active in politics, so yes, she has thoughts to share and things to talk about. And as far far as "if I lived there" - of course she wants to get out of there - she'd be stupid if she didn't ! Think about - what girl doesn't want to marry up ? Even at the other end of the spectrum, if a girl is making $100k per year, do you think she's going to marry some schmuck making $15k per year ? I think not. Would it be easier to find someone on the same level I'm at financially & socially ? Of course it would. If this relationship continues, it'll be alot of work, but if the feelings are genuine, I think it's worth it.

AtlantaBob

I don't even want to marry her yet. Not for a long time. Let's just say I'm trying to decide whether or not I'm willing to jump BEFORE I arrive at the cliff .............

 

[Criss Colon]

You have just called lots of nice Dominicans,"STUPID"!

Not all dominicans find living here to be a "Hell-On-Earth" as you seem to think.You better think about you becoming more like a "Dominican" than your Future Wife becoming more like an "American"? (you haven't stated your country of origin yet,have you? What about those two kids?do they stay here?Why is it "OK" for a man making 100K per year to marry a poor woman,but not for a woman making 100K per year to marry a man making 15K? Your male chauvinism is showing!!!!!You want to "Bag" a "Trophy" and take it home on the hood of your car to show your friends.This is a relationship born to fail.You want her to please you.Why not stay here?Does she have to go with you? Who says?......Once you pick this lovely Dominican "Fruit" from the tree and take it to your "home" it will soon rot! "Don't listen to a word Jan has to say!!!!!! Jan is a,"One-In-A-Million",a woman who says what she really means!A woman who doesn't play games.An independent woman.If all women were more like Jan,Pib,and Theresa,we wouldn't have to be wasting our time posting "Trash" on DR!! (They are all single women,which only points out that men are afraid of a relationship with an independent woman,or that they,Jan Pib,and Theresa, see men for what we really are!)We could be having a bottle of wine and some real communication with someone that matters!CRIS

 

[AZB]

Criss colon is on a roll. What wisdom pills have you been taking man?
Ok, it seems like our man has made up his mind. He is in love with the first barrio girl that he found on the melecon near tam tam cafe. If you listen to Jan, and follow your heart then don't expect her to be around for support when things take the wrong turn. She is an idealist not a realist. I sometimes wish I could think like her but i have lost many hair on my head from the bumps in life and especially in DR to know better. You refuse to listen to us because you have already made up your mind. I can see you giving into her demands within the next 3 trips. You see what happens is this: you go back to the cold country and get back to the same rat race. You see your friends married to same old fat ladies who make them work and clean the house and still bitch. Compared to them, your girl is a princess. You miss the sex and the attention you get from her. Something totally unavailable and unbelievable back at home. You miss being with this woman so much that you take time out to see her every once so often. You call her everyday and pay huge phone bills. in fact, this woman is in your mind 24hrs. You have been blinded into thinking that she will change and actually improve her social level to mix in with your friendly circle. You have all the positive hopes yet you still have your doubts. Now comes along jan who is telling you exactly what you like to hear. You thank her with happy smiles as though she is the lady with the crystal ball telling you the future.
You are blinded and P***y whiped man. Open up your eyes and see the reality. Is it all worth it to take care of kids of another man? Do you really need to raise kids at your age?
Like criss says: if you are bent on marrying a barrio girl, then get an 18 yrs old. Anyway you look at it it will be trouble but atleast will be more willing to take crap from a hard bodied 18yrs old than a loose bag 29yrs old with two devilish kids.

 

[sarroj]

Chris, you're making alot of assumptions.

1. The DR is not hell on earth. That's obvious. But, living in a very poor envronment like the barrio has it's disadvantages. Most streets don't have raw, diseased ravaged sewage running down the center of it (with kids playing in it), so, yes, I would consider somewhat unpleasant. Living in a house without solid interior walls and no ceiling might be something that someone might want to improve upon.

B. If I thought I could make a good living, I would be living there in a heartbeat.

3. Why, in the name of God, would I want her to be more American ?!?! Christ, if I wanted that, I could save my money and just stay home.

D. If I wanted a "trophy", I would get one, and wouldn't have to go to the DR to do it. Besides, I wouldn't consider a girl who's broke with 2 young children a trophy. If anything, my wanting to be with her in spite of that, is an indication of how I feel about her.

5. There should be more people like Jan in the world ! Attitude is everything !