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Who governs the police?
Not Alone
Very true.
And it applies to men also.
I know of a 'gringo' who had his home invaded three times before he teamed up with a Dominican woman. :bunny:
Whether it's the protection from his 'novia's' large family or their shielding off the victim from others 'beneficials' I do not know.
Anyway, no more attacks, so far.
Very true.
And it applies to men also.
I know of a 'gringo' who had his home invaded three times before he teamed up with a Dominican woman. :bunny:
Whether it's the protection from his 'novia's' large family or their shielding off the victim from others 'beneficials' I do not know.
Anyway, no more attacks, so far.
yes, i forgot about families. single poor mothers usually live with their families. the rich ones i know live in very expensive places. and of course, because they are dominicans family is always nearby or available.
shalena, methink, does not quite stand out form the crown. i remember from pictures that she is very pretty lady, dominican looking. and she speaks spanish, right?
bottom line is: do not pay the police.
and it may be better after all if you never visit police station again. :cheeky:
good luck, lady.
Imagination
What would a Dominican woman do?
I can imagine that she would curse and scream (high pitched... ) in the street in order to get as much attention from neighbours and so embarrass the unpopular police...
Would it work?
Could Shalena do it?
What would a Dominican woman do?
I can imagine that she would curse and scream (high pitched... ) in the street in order to get as much attention from neighbours and so embarrass the unpopular police...
Would it work?
Could Shalena do it?
Shalena,
Whatever they want they cannot be trusted.
.... but most Dominicans dont trust the police, know most are corrupt or engage in criminal activity and they are underpaid, so why would a well meaning neighbour all of a sudden trust to tell a cop information about you that they know could put you in bad situation?
Something does not seem right about that.
I hope no one sent the police to you but I would not cross that off your list.
I recall you said your neighbours were not friendly with you before.
If you dont move at least get a guard dog.
Whatever they want they cannot be trusted.
.... but most Dominicans dont trust the police, know most are corrupt or engage in criminal activity and they are underpaid, so why would a well meaning neighbour all of a sudden trust to tell a cop information about you that they know could put you in bad situation?
Something does not seem right about that.
I hope no one sent the police to you but I would not cross that off your list.
I recall you said your neighbours were not friendly with you before.
If you dont move at least get a guard dog.
Not sure, corrupted police usually comes to any house where they think there is cash. Gypsies back home would yell and scream at them, but policemen would still take whatever they want, put gypsies to jail for a while for sold drugs, and then let them go to just milk them again later on. Never ending game - they get something out of you once, and then keep on coming back. Shalena, did you ever give them any money?
Hahaha!
That is exactly what I was thinking as a fellow Caribbean woman. (I cussed the hell out of a guy who was harassing me in a crowded outdoor market and that shocked him into submission. He never figured a non Dominican woman would have the guts to do that, he was asking for my forgiveness. All the locals were commending me smiling saying you are not a gringo you act like a Domincan. Instant respect and no more problems.)
Because that is exactly how a Dominican woman would act. I have seen it.
Once I saw a Dominican woman act that way in the street with a cop.
He did not want to mess with the 'crazy lady' who drew an audience with her cussing. Told her to calm down and walked away.lol
I know some expats who say handle it one way.
But the first time they came to my door I would have caused the loudest crazy scene, without disrespecting them, where all my neighbours would have been coming outside to be my witness. I would have made them be afraid of the crazy gringa LOL. I think that is why they are coming so late to your house. They want to make sure everyone else will be asleep and they will have not witnesses.
They obviously dont want ATTENTION and that is exactly is what I would have given them. Making them think I was only doing it because I was so 'alarmed' and wanted my neighbours to be informed about the 'danger' in our neighbourhood. lol
In some situations the 'let them think you are crazy plan' works too.
I remember Lauryn Hill said the same thing in an interview. She said now that people think she is crazy no one bothers her lol.
I know a Cuban American business man who lives in POP and he says that he likes being known as the loco one because no one messes with him.
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I am not trying to be single all of the rest of my life!!!
Let's think of something that will not drive EVERY man away from me! LOL
SHALENA
I realise that where I am is not completely typical, but this is not the case either. Their extended families are a few hours drive away.
Yes - off the top of my head I can think of two - and many more who are not on DR1.
I'm unsure about that. I do not understand how games can ever win over a game than in reality only believes in brutality and slight intelligence to tip it off. Maybe if you are playing a game of chess then you might win but otherwise you would be up against someone who really is not intelligent enough to understand this ladies games, if she so felt inclined to play them.
I'm lost with this kind of comment!
Hahaha true! Dont want to be labelled the old crazy cat lady 20 years from now. lol Just controlled crazy in certain situations for certain tiguere men. lol
At least you have a sense of humour about the situation.
You sure are brave! Most people would have packed up and moved already.
Your "I am not going to let them scare me away attitude" reminds me of my mom.
Sure there are exceptions but not the rule, not common
But they have a network of close, probably life long friends from school and work, etc who are 'like family'. They have a support network whether it is blood relative or not.
Caribbean children call non blood relatives TIA and TIO and friends call each other PRIMO. Not related at all but you wouldnt know it. Your female Dominican neighbours also have the added benefit of being in their own own country on their own turf, they are not viewed as outsiders and therefore not perceived as a naive easy target, who may know my primos sister in law, so we have to be careful.
Different situations.
The OP has been here for less than a year, is young and attractive, travels often, and does not have, 'yet' that extended friendship/family network that other expats who have been here for many years have.
Sorry as a single woman who lived in the DR, so I speak from personal experience, IMO you cant compare the two.
And yes I know and met single female, 'childless' (having young children IMO is another dynamic, a mother is going to want to protect her children at all costs and the police/tiguere know that and would play on that vulnerability) women living alone in the DR, outside of the tourist areas...but that was not common,not typical.
Maybe the 2 DR1 posters, who are single moms, that you mentioned will post about their opinions how to handle the situation.
But they have a network of close, probably life long friends from school and work, etc who are 'like family'. They have a support network whether it is blood relative or not.
Caribbean children call non blood relatives TIA and TIO and friends call each other PRIMO. Not related at all but you wouldnt know it. Your female Dominican neighbours also have the added benefit of being in their own own country on their own turf, they are not viewed as outsiders and therefore not perceived as a naive easy target, who may know my primos sister in law, so we have to be careful.
Different situations.
The OP has been here for less than a year, is young and attractive, travels often, and does not have, 'yet' that extended friendship/family network that other expats who have been here for many years have.
Sorry as a single woman who lived in the DR, so I speak from personal experience, IMO you cant compare the two.
And yes I know and met single female, 'childless' (having young children IMO is another dynamic, a mother is going to want to protect her children at all costs and the police/tiguere know that and would play on that vulnerability) women living alone in the DR, outside of the tourist areas...but that was not common,not typical.
Maybe the 2 DR1 posters, who are single moms, that you mentioned will post about their opinions how to handle the situation.
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Shalena, you mentioned a security company. What has been the interaction between them and the police? if this is a trusted company, go with a representative to the police station- with the smile on your face- and ask the police to interface with the security company when they are "concerned" about the house. This would also let them know that someone else is watching (in theory) when they come by at these odd hours.
I had a problem with unwanted visitors (in another developing country) and the police didn't pay any attention to me until I went with a rep from the security company.
Don't remember who asked, but there are plenty of single female expats living outside of gated tourist areas. I am one and know many others.
Either way, best of luck.
I had a problem with unwanted visitors (in another developing country) and the police didn't pay any attention to me until I went with a rep from the security company.
Don't remember who asked, but there are plenty of single female expats living outside of gated tourist areas. I am one and know many others.
Either way, best of luck.
Great advice from another single mom living here with kids.
As long as it is a trusted company.
I trust my Security company. They have always come in a timely fashion to my house when I have called (less than 2 min). Last night, they asked the police what the problem was and the police replied with that they were just making sure that everything was tranquila. Then the police left. The security then told me to call them any time ANYONE came to my house and I felt unsafe. I have the number to the security base, last night they gave me the direct cell phone number to the phone that they use on them.
I do not trust the police and if a thief WAS entering or trying to enter my home, I would call Security, not the police. The guns that they have look just as good as the ones the police have.
SHALENA
I do not trust the police and if a thief WAS entering or trying to enter my home, I would call Security, not the police. The guns that they have look just as good as the ones the police have.
SHALENA
The OP herself did. There was a previous thread which she started late at night when feeling very scared. Quite a lot of advice was given by posters on that thread but I think the whole thing got deleted because the OP was giving out too much information about her situation. So this is in effect the second thread on the same subject - you probably missed the first one Thandie. But Shalena would have read all the advice given then.
You know, the point I was making is that you can't put Dominicans in neat boxes - not so much 'you' as the poster who wrote something about single parents being viewed as strange. People change, cultures evolve, etc. As far as expat women are concerned, it is common, and typical, especially when you consider the many cases of foreign women who married/had kids with Dominicans and the relationship didn't work out - they are still here living as single parents. My 10 years experience include living in a small Cibao city, the capital and now in what is considered a tourist area with some expats but what in fact is a mainly Dominican community. Not typical, as I said, but indicative of the fact that things do change.
After reading this and seeing that this have happened for 2 times now, the situation has gone from suspicious to serious, they are obviously picking on you for you to give them some money, knocking people doors at 1AM just to see if they are OK are not the norm here in the DR, and you could call that harrasment.
As you don't know any people of significant influence in this country and the fact that you are a single woman living with your children, the best advise I can give you is to move right away, the sooner the better.
I think one of your old "friends" have some bitterness against you and maybe is sending his friend Juan el Sargento to your house to try and harrass you and why not get some dollars in the way. Besides you may be losing the benefit of the doubt with the police, if you have the need to call the cops in the future they maybe won't answer your call due to this incidents. I think your best solution is to move.
As you don't know any people of significant influence in this country and the fact that you are a single woman living with your children, the best advise I can give you is to move right away, the sooner the better.
I think one of your old "friends" have some bitterness against you and maybe is sending his friend Juan el Sargento to your house to try and harrass you and why not get some dollars in the way. Besides you may be losing the benefit of the doubt with the police, if you have the need to call the cops in the future they maybe won't answer your call due to this incidents. I think your best solution is to move.
Lambada, yes I read some of that 1st thread before it was deleted. IMO she just 'confirmed' by telling them when they intially asked, what they already knew... somehow. I think it may be important to figure out who told them, if possible.
I truly dont believe that they didnt ALREADY know she was a young expat single mom living on her own. They had done their homework, before they knocked on her door in the wee hours of the morning. It looks like someone told them for whatever reason and they hatched a plan/scam to eventually squeeze security services fees out of her.
(I recall her saying her neighbours were not that friendly with her but would question her kids about where their dad or her husbad was, why he was not living with her? She stands out as different. None of my Dominican friends wanted me to live on my own because they knew I would be more of a target. Actually it was a total stranger who found me a safe place to live because he was worried about my safety being a single young woman. I remember my regular taxi guy questioning my best friends husband whether I had a boyfriend or not and was I living alone. He quickly put him in his place and said why do you need to know that when you have a wife and kids?)
As has been said numerous times, there are no secrets on this island. People see, talk about and hear everything...and a spotlight is put on things that are not in the norm.....
From a grown man who wears shorts and sandals or a young single attracive expat woman who does not work on the island, lives outside the areas gringos usually live, is the only non local in her community and travels more than normal.