Why I love this country

[shadInToronto]

Milk it two ways ....

Sorry to keep you all on tenterhooks. No electric so no internet. I am so grateful for your concern. Not even fried a little so far, only because they didn't turn up - just as well not enough crabs for everyone. They assure me they are coming tonight. Chief electrician was busy last night - probably with his goat. I have 2 Dominican stepsons - 17 and 15, and the main rule in this house is no sex before they are 18 (and once one is 18 I may increase it to 25), as I don't want to be a grandmother, and the girls round here have a nasty habit of getting pregnant and then finding who they perceive to be rich for a quick bonk and then say it is their kid. Anyway, chief electrician siad I should buy them a lady goat as all Dominican men worth their salt practise on goats first and it will improve their technique and stop them getting too frustrated - the boys not the goats. Do you think this is a good idea???? All advice gratefully received.

matilda

You mean goatmother!!! Excellent idea - few quids to be made. Free milk and 2 teenagers with a goat ... dvd for sale? may sell well with gringos

 

[Lambada]

:laugh: :laugh:

Do you think this is a good idea???? All advice gratefully received. matilda

Dear voltless in Juan Dolio,

Goats do not have upper front teeth so your stepsons should be able to preserve their masculinity long enough to give you grandchildren when you so desire. Have your stepsons had their eyesight tested recently? Please advise said stepsons that both billy goats and nanny goats can have beards so they should examine the objects of their affection very carefully. Wouldn't want them getting undeserved reputations..............

Sincerely,
Auntie Lambada

 

[A.Hidalgo]

BTW Matilda how is your voicebox. Have you recovered your voice. I can see that has not stopped you from being way too funny. Be well.:cheeky:

 

[suarezn]

What's going on with all this goat talk lately?

Times have definitely changed...When I was growing up in El Cibao female donkeys "burras" were all the rage...Very funny...

 

[dv8]

What's going on with all this goat talk lately?

Times have definitely changed...When I was growing up in El Cibao female donkeys "burras" were all the rage...Very funny...

times change. burras are unfashionably big. now a true man will go for a goat - slim and sexy.

 

[shadInToronto]

Now I know ....

What's going on with all this goat talk lately?

Times have definitely changed...When I was growing up in El Cibao female donkeys "burras" were all the rage...Very funny...

I often wondered where that expression "a kick in the teeth" originated ... Ouch!!! :hurt:

 

[M.A.R.]

arre burrito

What's going on with all this goat talk lately?

Times have definitely changed...When I was growing up in El Cibao female donkeys "burras" were all the rage...Very funny...

you guys are too funny, what about chickens??? oh poor chickens...ouch

yeah you're right about El Cibao and the "burras" there was this character in the campo that used to ride the 'burras" and I think the cows, but he had his own donkey, "guacala" but he wasn't stable mentally.

 

[Matilda]

BTW Matilda how is your voicebox. Have you recovered your voice. I can see that has not stopped you from being way too funny. Be well.:cheeky:

Unfortunately still can't speak too well. Just whisper but have seen specialist in the capital (recommended by DR1) and he has shoved a tube up my nose and down my throat and says all in working order but nerves a bit fried and bullet hole in voice box which should heal sometime. Now have special pills to take to help heal nerves and am going back in December to check.

 

[heldengebroed]

a, motoconchos!
i have seen a guy with a fridge and another one with a washing machine.
our european removal vans are SOOOOOOOOOOOO boring!

What about this:
Large gastank
Father
mother (8 or 9 months preagnant)
2 sons
daughter
5 chickens
1 pig
and a dozen or so sacks with bread

Who needs a pick-up

 

[Hillbilly]

Matilda, waltzing or not? Well, is it up and running?

No news inthe papers today....hummmmmmmmmm?


HB

 

[dv8]

What about this:
Large gastank
Father
mother (8 or 9 months preagnant)
2 sons
daughter
5 chickens
1 pig
and a dozen or so sacks with bread

Who needs a pick-up

nothing, NOTHING can beat that.
or?????

matilda, did you dissapear in a puff of smoke?

 

[Matilda]

OK. latest update. Happily cooking beef curry last night around 6.30pm when lights went out. Pitch black. Kids have nicked all torches and only one candle. They were putting in the cable still, and now it reaches to the house - got to the house at around 9pm, when lights reappeared. Tonight apparently is the big switch on, when they put the 7000volts into the transformer and it comes out into my house as 110 and 220 - anyone know how it does that??? So the big bang if it happens will be tonight - I'm off on a hen night (lack of items available here - no jumping willies so she has too make do with a biological poster of how a man's bits work and I'll make a boil and we can play pin the boil on the willy!!!). So if I blows up I will be a couple of kms away!!!!

By the way you have all got me into a lot of trouble! My mother is an avid reader of DR1 from the safety of her house in the english countryside. It keeps her up to date, but having read this thread she is very cross with me for mentioning goats. I only asked what I thought was an intelligent question and you all have so much more experience than me I was expecting intelligent answers. Instead we end up with a history lesson of bestiality in the Dominican Republic! Shame on you - (mind you, very interesting....chickens?????)

Matilda

 

[Matilda]

Update. Just had to buy 6 pounds of salt to put in ground next to transformer - no idea why???????? Asked little Haitian electrician how he knew it would work he said it did when he repaired it!!!!!!! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A NEW TRANSFORMER!!!! Where was it before? Now a piece has just 'fallen off', so we have to go and buy a new bit. I willl keep you informed.

 

[dv8]

thos is not suppesed to ba salt, but a special sand, matilda. apparently it retracts humidity. maybe you did not understand, and went for "salt" instead of "sylica salt"? (or whateva)
ask haitian again, maybe you have to sacryfice a white goat (not your son's favourite), or at least a chicken.
maybe that's why they do it in the dead of the night, is your haitian electrician a part-time voodoo priest as well?

 

[Matilda]

Well it is salt from my colmado 6RD$ a pound. Anyway he came down the post an hour ago and went off mumbling that the transfomer "no sirve". So no need for salt then! God knows if and when he will be back, or if I get a new transformer or if they will fix this one. Happy days!!!!

 

[dv8]

matilde, are you still with us? or do i have to invest in ouija board? please, if you are here knock once on the table...

 

[Matilda]

Knock knock. No electric for 2 days and nights. Very hot and smelly (me and the dogs). Electric back on. Took away old transformer. new transformer up post. Still not connected, Freezer full of meat gone off. Am starting to get a little cross!!!!

 

[canadian bob]

Matilda, great writing! You used the right stuff, regular salt draws moisture & keeps the "ground" (A copper bar, at least 4 feet long, pounded into the ground, as a negative ground for the transformer). You have me glued to this more than the TV! I can't wait for the conclusion! Canadian Bob.

 

[gringosabroso]

New Transformer??

An exc. post! A wonderful sense of humor! You'll survive well in the 3rd World, inc. the DR.
* Question: why did you buy & have installed a new tranformer? I assume you had or shared an older, or other, transforrmer.
* I live in POP; I've been infomed by Edenorte & some elctrical parts salesmen [driving new pick up trucks!] that I need a new transformer. Cost? @ 100,000 Pesos?
* I've spoken to 2 - 4 of them; my question? Why do I need this? Their responses? Vague & unintelligible, to me at least. Is there a professional, objective, DR or expatriate, professional on whom you or I can rely on for advice re: new transformer or not?
* Keep up the great work! Please advise us of your other adventures [?]. And, . . . keep an adequate supply of Brugal on hand!

 

[dv8]

? !

Knock knock. No electric for 2 days and nights. Very hot and smelly (me and the dogs). Electric back on. Took away old transformer. new transformer up post. Still not connected, Freezer full of meat gone off. Am starting to get a little cross!!!!

i guess lack of elecricity is good for the relationship between your boys and their goats, darkness is good for blossoming romance... (in this case pitch black is rather preferable...)

i think you shold invite all of us to see the big boom when they connect your thingy, it's not fair to keep all the fun for yourself!

double check with your haitian shaman, i mean electrician, maybe your transformer requires a special offering? like a dr1 member perhaps?
should we provide you with a list of potential candidates?