Honestly......
I really do appreciate all the advise. Whether it be good, or bad, or even hurtful advise...it is exactly what I asked for...all of it.
I have come clean to all parties concerned, and believe it or not, right now it is all good. I have not made my final decision about going to live there,that will come later down the road. I have concluded,after weighing all things out, that the best approach is to except the ticket, go for a month or so and see what happens...really nothing lost nothing gained.
I may be getting old but I definatly do not feel that I have exceded my expiration date. I am no raving beauty, but I have had other opportunities here in my own country with men as young as my guy in the DR. I am not an old desperate housewife. I actually feel that getting older is a very liberating thing for a woman,and It has added to my ability to try to live my life a bit less intimidated... ( and no, I do not always wear long sleeves and I do not have a flat sagging chest...I have had many compliments on my breasts, and they are the real deal...just good Swedish, German, and Italian genes...thanks Mom and Dad ! ) I try to live life now, a bit more on the "wild side". Thats not always a great place to be, but IM NOT DEAD YET !!!!....I have lived my life for my children, my husband, (until he passed away ) and than another man, now I feel a little 'selfish" ( if thats the right word ?) and want a little for me......so whats wrong with that ? There is even one man that is much younger than me that I became involved with ( and no I wasnt out at a bar looking for someone to "hook up" with ) and now we are actually very good friends, we email alot, and I still see him when ever he is in town on business, or to visit his family. I am not a slut, I am not a whore, I just enjoy the differences ( both mentally and physically ) that each person has brought into my life. If I could take a little of all the men I have cared about and roll it into one, how wonderful life would be. If I had not experienced and continue to experience the wonderful things that these people have added to my life, I may as well just curl up some where and die. But I will not ! I am not a stupid woman, and I may appear to be ignorant of many things, but am not. Like me or not, hurl insults at me, agree with me or disagree with me, what does it matter. We all have made decisions that we regrete, or on the other hand have made choices that have worked out exactly as we had hoped and prayed they would.
I thank you for all the advise. And I have tried to listen with and open mind, and have never stuck a "dildough" ( hahahahaha ) in my ear, so as not to be able to hear. I have listened, and I understand that in the end it is my choice and my choice alone. Some of you have made very good points for me to ponder, even if I didnt necessarily like the way you expressed your thoughts or ideas. I can see that all of you are concerned, and as I have said before, at least have taken the time to reply. And with all my heart I thank you.
I hope that I will be able to follow up on this with a positive outcome.
Merry Christmas and Happiest of New Years to all of you.