I read, and I read, and I think I get it, and than , here he is again...and I am starting to act crazy again....why doesnt he just leave me alone......I havent talked to him for months,when he calls I dont pick up the phone I havent sent money, gifts, etc, I try to scare him away with emails that may send the message to him. I dont call him, or talk to him on the phone because I just end up feeling bad and all the old feelings just start all over again, and I will do things that are so unlike me all over again....I messed up, Its Christmas, and he called and I answered, and my heart is breaking again....he begged me to come there and live with him, he said he will get an apartment for us, he has one picked out, its perfect, he said he has changed, he loves me, and now knows that he was wrong before....I do love him ( yes I am crazy ) and I want to run to him, but I live with someone, and he know its, and he said just leave him. He wants me to be happy and live my life with him there...part of me says yes, and part of me says no...my life has changed so much, I am not working right now, He knows I have no money, but doesnt care..he said he will take care of me, and just wants me there...for what ? I dont understand, and after all I have read, is it possible that he changed...I have nothing to give him, and he said it doesnt matter...I dont know what to think...I am too old for this, but I am afraid if I dont go and try I will be heartbroken for the rest of my life...I am not in love with the guy that I live with and I am in love with my DR man....is it possible that he loves me ? I cant pay for anything and he said he will even send me the money to come...I know I am going to catch heck for this, but I have talked everyones ears off here, cried, and carried on.....I need some advise form the ONES WHO KNOW...I have read both good and bad on this sight, and have heard thru PM's many good things...but what to do...even my kids say, go, try, be happy...if not come home...but dont miss the chance to be happy...I A SCARRED.....now, here goes, and I will just take it all in...good, bad, and everything in between...what is all this really about. I trust all of you...and I am at a loss...please help.....I said I will go for a week and we can talk this out face to face, but am I just being completly crazy.....I have property here and many things to take care of before I can make a move like this, but I am afraid not to take this chance, and I am so desperate for some advise that I will expose myself to the ridicule that I may hear...but my heart is breaking...and I am so confussed.....