Help me understand

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DRob

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Aug 15, 2007
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The surest way to drive yourself crazy is trying to please everyone.

The second way is trying to be rational in an irrational situation, or making the effort to be reasonable with an unreasonable person.

And the quickest way you go crazy by dealing with the unreasonable and irrational: get into a relationship.

I agree with Rocky to the extent that many women (especially the ones I've been involved with) :cheeky: can be utterly illogical, but imagine the same thing applies to men as well.

That said, an esposa with 4 kids by 2 other men, a live-in boyfriend and a strong sense of entitlement? I really feel for your brother in law.
 
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Hipocrito Mejia

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Jan 5, 2006
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AZB said:
Why would any gringo come here and marry a woman with 4 kids (from 2 different men) and then take over the responsibility of supporting her, the kids and 2 other (live in) girls? What the hell is the matter with him? there aren't any single dominican women left in that area that he has to settle for a mother of 4????
AZB
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Dumb gringo! He was letting his little head think for his big head. :p
 
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Brovo35

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Feb 26, 2008
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korejdk said:
...please, since I fail to comprehend this...

So there's this dominican lady, she has 4 kids ( 3 kids one dad + one other ) who got married in the DR few years ago or so...the gringo bought a business, and started to take care of her and the two girls who were living with her...classic story, she wasn't content ( U know what I mean ), the business was losing money, and the gringo got fed up and left the DR about 4 months ago or so...since then she's been out in the open with her local novio etc etc...so last week-end I am having a Leonel on the playa with the gringo ( who is regularly visiting the DR but not for her ) and he was talking about it etc etc and later on that day I was talking with her ( please don't ask me the circumstances ) and she was going on and on among the lines:
-why doesn't he want to see me
- why is he not paying for my ninas's school ( he's NOT the father )
- how can I pay for rent ( the local novio lives there )
- he's my husband, he has responsabilities ( yet the novio doesn't )
etc etc
I was playing dumb ( "no se, no se" ) yet how dumb do the Dominicans think that the gringos are ?!? Or is she really that dumb to believe what she's saying ? I mean, my common sense was screaming "R U *&%$ing serious", he has no responsability whatsoever ?!?!?!?!?
I fail to comprehend this, I really do...
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I don't think that this is a thought process specific to Dominican women. I have known women in the US that hold very, similar beliefs. In addition, those beliefs would unfortunately be upheld by the US court system.

So instead of having a conversation about why her husband won't support her and her kids from a previous relationship you would have heard her laughing about how lucky she is to have court ordered support.
 
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CyaBye3015

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Jan 8, 2003
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Rocky said:
I went out on a limb and accept all the heat it brings me.
It's actually not derogatory.
I think of women as artistic with round curves, while men are like an algrebraic equation and are rather square.
Of course, that's just my warped mind speaking, and tomorrow I might change my mind.
Perhaps it's my feminine side coming out.;)

PS: Don't take any of this seriously, at least not what I say.
I'm just entertaining myself.
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Marco always treats me like a dope..... Perhaps it's my man tits!
 
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Chip

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Jul 25, 2007
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korejdk said:
she's related to my wife...
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Well that throw's out factor #1. What you apparently don't realize is that apparently she sees you as a side of beef too, otherwise she would not for one minute would tell you all of the stuff she did, ie she would never, ever say this to a Dominican. She will more than likely see you as an outsider unless you talk to her on equal footing.

I'll give you a good example: I was at the local golf course here in Santiago and asked one of the caddies to get me a bottle of water. I asked him how much the price was and he said "RD20 plus the tip to get it". I told him forget it because the price for water here all over was RD10 and I was just tired of being treated like a bank for even the littlest of transactions. Anyway he left and I was mentioning to one of the other caddies that how could this guy tell me that water is RD20 when in fact everyone knows it is RD10 in all of the colmados. The caddie started a song and dance defending his compadre about the price and I cut him off in mid senence, I told him forget it pal, "deje eso por favor" I'm a gringo and I live here too so I know what the prices are. Whereupon he responds, "well I'm sorry, I didn't know", just like that. Sometimes you just have to tell the locals how it is - you don't have to be nasty or rude though, just truthful.
 
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leekiv

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Mar 5, 2007
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lol That works both ways ............

Rocky said:
Never underestimate the power of Brugal and darkness.
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.............. and explains how some on here who profess to be so "worldly" and speak very highly of themselves have the courage to post what they do. ;) Great point Rocky. Brugel and darkness. Could be the name of a new DR movie.:cheeky:

( just kidding all so don't get your knickers in a knott).

Have a great one.;)
 
J D Sauser

J D Sauser

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Nov 20, 2004
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People "learn" and get shaped by the experiences the live thru and also what they seem to witness from their surroundings. That however seems to be especially true for locals, while some ex-pats and tourists seem to have some resistance.
Yes, Latin American females are still mainly brought up in the traditional believe that men are supposed to come up for their cost of living, but obviously, people living a longer time period, or worse, brought up in a (sex) touristy environment can find themselves shaped into misconceptions about relationships and their financial tangents, which may be difficult to understand at first. Is it their fault, lack of education, rampant shallowness or just indeed experience(s) lived and witnessed? Well, many here may have different theories about it. But let me just say, that what I seem more difficult to understand, is how many men and women alike, who come to visit some of these places or eventually even try to settle around them behave.
Maybe this may at least contribute to the fact that some locals may seem led to believe that gringos and gringas are just plain stupid or that being on the loosing end of a relationship "deal" may just be part of their culture (?).
Would all the above make such behavior right, no, that's not what I am trying to say, but maybe it may help understand why it happens.

Btw, from what I am surprised to see, "hottness" does not always seem to be a main ingredient in deals like these.

... J-D.
 
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Lambada

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Mar 4, 2004
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korejdk said:
I fail to comprehend this, I really do...
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J D Sauser said:
But let me just say, that what I seem more difficult to understand, is how many men and women alike, who come to visit some of these places or eventually even try to settle around them behave.
... J-D.
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One way to test JD's theory, korejdk, would be to transpose your scenario from a tourist town to the campo, to a young woman brought up with strong spiritual values but from an economically poor family. Self worth in such a family comes from strong beliefs. So if the 'campo' young woman found herself with children and no visible means of support she is more likely to accept that she needs to do something about it, because she has a strong enough self image to do so (like the mother of 4 who lost her Free Zone job when the factory closed & now rummages at Rafey tip for resaleable items - in the news recently because the woman lost her hand when a child switched on the rubbish truck machinery accidentally).

I think you'll find JD's theory has a lot going for it. If foreigners sexploit the local women or men, then they are teaching the lessons of how to exploit. And the exploited will learn them and apply them to the teachers. It's about the only way left of getting a little bit of power & perhaps 'replaces' the self worth felt by the many who wouldn't dream of behaving in this way.

Remember the guys who arrived on a foreign shore with trinkets & took all the natives gold? What goes around comes around.............;)
 
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MommC

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Mar 2, 2002
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Too true......

DRob said:
The surest way to drive yourself crazy is trying to please everyone.

The second way is trying to be rational in an irrational situation, or making the effort to be reasonable with an unreasonable person.[/UNQUOTE]

Happens all the time here.......
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leekiv

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Mar 5, 2007
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MommaC

MommC said:
DRob said:
The surest way to drive yourself crazy is trying to please everyone.

The second way is trying to be rational in an irrational situation, or making the effort to be reasonable with an unreasonable person.[/UNQUOTE]

Happens all the time here.......
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Are you talking about the DR or this board? lol just playing with you.;)
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miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
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Que tu sabe!!.

Alyonka said:
If she was not HOT - how would she get all these husbands and kids then????
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I guess you know crap about men......SOME of us will stick it in a hole if we knew we would be able to take care of our needs!.....And at times, no fricking cheap liquor needed!!.

And who cares if she is hot.....there are guys out there who would NOT touch a woman like her, married, with a whole bunch of kids and banging a novio even when married, even if she was the last woman on earth!.

She could me hotter than fire and I would NOT touch her....NOT one inch.

Actually, I wouldn't even touch her with AZB's tiny johnson!!.

NOT that desperate yet!.

R&O!!.
 
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