Insider's View

[linamia]

I agree with you on the little person part in your post. (Se va a morrir un burro!! lol)

Sunny,

As a Parent (I have three teen age girls, Holly cow!! three under one roof!! what was I thinking lol ) we lead by example. Little girls turn into teens and teens like to keep questionable friends at some point. One must sit with them and stress the why such and such is not a good choice for you. You can be friendly with everyone but be very selective of who you call friend. To do this one must not keep questionable friends either because then your words sound empty.

Also remember that ones reputation not only affects you but will also affect your child.

At your age you don't see it yet but once your child starts to grow up you have to be careful of the company you keep.

 

[hollywood north]

quote "At your age you don't see it yet but once your child starts to grow up you have to be careful of the company you keep."

Agreed, and I also believe that this applies ANYWHERE in the world....not just DR....Altho it may be more evident there.
I have ended friendships with other women because certain behaviour would tar me with the same brush.....and no it's NOT just women that talk about this. I am one of the most liberal people any of you would ever meet, but I will not risk being lumped into a particularly not well-looked upon type/group with possible repercussions.

It's a hard world - why shoot yourself in the foot on top of it all?

 

[AZB]

I keep very few expat friends, reason being: when ever I invite one of them to my house or a bar gathering, they seem to always being a low life dominican guy/gal. The guy is usually a sankie or a motoconcho level and the girl never exceeds the class of a cleaning lady or a hooker.
What the hell is wrong with you all? is that what you feel comfortable with in real life?
Now sunny doesn't care what people think of her nor she cars what people say about her. I suggest she stays in the north coast because this crap doesn't fly in santiago or other bigger cities. Dominican keep a very tight watch on everyone. If you are the type who is "serio" (serious or a decent) person, then they will treat you with respect and deal business with you. If you are seen with low life folks, then they will lose respect for you. I will not sit in a table where someone is sitting with a sankie scum or a cleaning lady type girl. Some expats just don't get it.
I think the girls who make friends with sankie scum are the same ones who love to get tattooes all over their bodies, simply what we call, a white trash. I don't know sunny but I certainly hope she is not one of them.
AZB

 

[RHM]

I keep very few expat friends, reason being: when ever I invite one of them to my house or a bar gathering, they seem to always being a low life dominican guy/gal. The guy is usually a sankie or a motoconcho level and the girl never exceeds the class of a cleaning lady or a hooker.
What the hell is wrong with you all? is that what you feel comfortable with in real life?
Now sunny doesn't care what people think of her nor she cars what people say about her. I suggest she stays in the north coast because this crap doesn't fly in santiago or other bigger cities. Dominican keep a very tight watch on everyone. If you are the type who is "serio" (serious or a decent) person, then they will treat you with respect and deal business with you. If you are seen with low life folks, then they will lose respect for you. I will not sit in a table where someone is sitting with a sankie scum or a cleaning lady type girl. Some expats just don't get it.
I think the girls who make friends with sankie scum are the same ones who love to get tattooes all over their bodies, simply what we call, a white trash. I don't know sunny but I certainly hope she is not one of them.
AZB

Spot on. Many will disagree with AZB and take shots at him but the reality of his words will remain. Good, bad or indifferent this is the way it is. Expats who live and work here know it to be true. Reputation is everything.

AZB gets no points for style but an A+ for accuracy.

Scandall

 

[planner]

AZB I have learned the same lesson. In business to be taken seriously I must conduct myself accordingly. Here that applies to your personal life as well.

As to ex pats arriving at your house with a low life in tow -be very aware who you let in your house!!! It is an easy way to get set up as a target later! You do not know who these people are or who they're friends with!!! I know of several cases of individuals being cased, set up and robbed and or injured later!

As a female, Sunnie, you must be careful! You put yourself at risk.

AZB, it is somewhat similar here too! North Coasters of class (doesn't mean rich) do not tolerate the low life and sankie type behaviours. They have no respect for ex pats who associate with such. And in fact they look down their noses at them!

 

[AnnaC]

I think it's time we got back to what sunnie really started this thread for.

Everyone has been more than helpful in trying to protect her and letting her know who thinks what when and where but she did stick her neck out to try and do some good here.

What she does now with that info is up to her.


So going back to her warning

Please girls watch out for the scammers/sankies. The guys that say they love you and have stars in their eyes like you are a goddess and the most beautiful person in the world. Listen to the words very carefully.

They are good because they've been practicing for a long time. They know what you want to hear.

Ask yourself how did these guys eat and manage before you came along and take lots of time before sending money out.

And remember not all resort workers are sankies and not all sankies work at a resort.


This will be the end of warning sunnie. Please no more.

Thanks.

 

[amy2761]

I think the girls who make friends with sankie scum are the same ones who love to get tattooes all over their bodies, simply what we call, a white trash.
AZB

Careful now AZB .... I have tattoos, but I can promise you that I'm not white trash. Also, there a classy way to do something and there's a trashy way to do it. Lets not go stereotyping all those with tattoos now .... or piercings.

Stay well,
Amy

P.S. SUnnie - I see your point, as far as I'm concerned, I'd rather not be seen with a sankie or the girl he screwing (excuse the pun).

 

[AZB]

AZB, it is somewhat similar here too! North Coasters of class (doesn't mean rich) do not tolerate the low life and sankie type behaviours. They have no respect for ex pats who associate with such. And in fact they look down their noses at them!

Planner, I used to live in puerto plata so I am quite aware of where the decent folks live in north coast. I have known quite a few doctors and business men in puerto plata area. these same doctors will never date a foreigner or a tourist. they have their own places to socialize. Foreigners have a very bad reputation in the north coast. The foreigners who live with the respectable rules have no problem interacting with the decent folks. I have noticed that more and more expats are becoming more aware of their sorroundings and realize that reputation is everything.
AZB

 

[stormer]

Careful now AZB .... I have tattoos, but I can promise you that I'm not white trash. Also, there a classy way to do something and there's a trashy way to do it. Lets not go stereotyping all those with tattoos now .... or piercings.

Stay well,
Amy

P.S. SUnnie - I see your point, as far as I'm concerned, I'd rather not be seen with a sankie or the girl he screwing (excuse the pun).

Thank you Amy, I too have 2 tattoos and 3 piercings. All respectable and proper. I am far from white trash.

 

[planner]

AZB - I've seen some of them. They are slow to accept ex pats into their social and business circles. When you prove yourself - then you gain admittance... This takes time. It can't be hurried, rushed or pushed. It happens when it happens and is a gradual process..

 

[Chris]

I've just caught up with this thread. Sunny, why stay with the lowest common denominator? Surely there are better! This sankie just loves to see you admire his expertise... it feeds him and he aspires to more... Is this a good thing for you to encourage and admire? I see earlier in this thread that you mention that everyone warned you against everyone else (kinda) . Take this seriously. Make friends only with those that you've checked out thoroughly and over time and be clear about your own values. Those, you cannot mess with.

 

[sunshine_79]

Sunny, this guy is playing you like George Benson plays his guitar; nice and slow !!!!.
You desperately try to tell your audience that you are in control of the situation with this guy, and that he will NEVER take advantage of you because you know is MO with other girls. But, the question is?Do you know his MO with you ?. You might not be aware, but this guy had put his moves on you long before you thought he was a ?nice guy?.
He has told you all his moves those girls, and you are on guard regarding those moves.
The ones you do not know are the ones that will later on seduce you.
Please be careful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshine_79
I liked him from the beginning because he is such a funny, animated person.






Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshine_79
he knows that he can talk to me about anything and that I will be nonobjective and nonjudgmental





Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshine_79
I can call him at 4 in the morning and he will be there for me in a heartbeat.







Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshine_79
I would do whatever I can to help him



Thanks for pasting the way I feel about ALL of my friends. I would go to hell and back for a true friend, is that so bad?

But moving right along...

I appreciate all the responses, I genuinely do. I got a PM today from the girl who prompted all of this madness and I noticed a bit more insight from the girl than I caught on to last week when she sent me the first message. Not to be rude but my post was for her .. not for all you regulars. I think it's wonderful you chipped in with your insight, that is what this board if for after all.

For now, all I can say is that we will just have to agree to disagree. Or if you dont care to do that then that is all right as well. The matter of the fact is that I have one sankie friend, not 20. Im not saying it makes any difference but some of you make it sound as though I am living in a sankie commune or some such sh%t. I judge people on a one by one basis, no more and no less. To me, my friend is no different than a motoconcho driver or a boy selling CDs to tourists for way too much money. Perhaps they're lying and cheating but the person doing the spending always has the option to give a big resounding NO. It's almost a survival instinct in this country to be less than honest and like I always say ... it is what it is and who am I to question what has always been done? Not my country, not my place.

AZB - I met you at Rocky's and think you're a lovely, interesting man but you need to be careful about your choice of words. I'm from southern Missouri and really don't care what labels you give to people because I have a very open mind but when you toss around phrases like " white trash" just know that you are treading in very sensitive waters. In some places, calling someone white trash is just as bad as calling someone a nig%er, gook, kike or whatver you can come up with. I don't like nasty generalizations like that and neither should you. You're an intelligent man so just remember that, okay? Personally, I wish the whole world would just relax and quit taking everything so personally but we both know that won't happen. So in the meantime, just be careful with your words.

I'm in a great mood, found a beautiful house for next to nothing so this is all I feel like writing for a long bit, my mood is much too great to spoil with any more backlash, no matter how good the intentions were. Like I said, the 19 year old girl who PMd me is having 2nd thoughts about selling herself short so that's what matters, not what other people may or may not choose to think. I'm glad for her.

Sunnie

 

[Larry]

Sunnie, I try my best to learn from other peoples mistakes instead of having to make those same mistakes myself. Doing so has saved me a lot of grief. One of the GREAT things about DR1 is we can learn from others mistakes. I have several friends on here who I learn from. They are older and have much more DR experience than me. When they talk I listen. It has made my path much easier.

Sunnie my dear, I think you are going to force yourself to learn from your own mistakes. This is your choice. Good luck and I am looking forward to having that beer we talked about when I next come up north.

Larry

 

[mtz444@yahoo.co]

I keep very few expat friends, reason being: when ever I invite one of them to my house or a bar gathering, they seem to always being a low life dominican guy/gal. The guy is usually a sankie or a motoconcho level and the girl never exceeds the class of a cleaning lady or a hooker.
What the hell is wrong with you all? is that what you feel comfortable with in real life?
Now sunny doesn't care what people think of her nor she cars what people say about her. I suggest she stays in the north coast because this crap doesn't fly in santiago or other bigger cities. Dominican keep a very tight watch on everyone. If you are the type who is "serio" (serious or a decent) person, then they will treat you with respect and deal business with you. If you are seen with low life folks, then they will lose respect for you. I will not sit in a table where someone is sitting with a sankie scum or a cleaning lady type girl. Some expats just don't get it.
I think the girls who make friends with sankie scum are the same ones who love to get tattooes all over their bodies, simply what we call, a white trash. I don't know sunny but I certainly hope she is not one of them.
AZB[/QUOT

The nost coast aint that bad.......and you should not judge people by the colour of their skin.......

 

[sunshine_79]

I will not sit in a table where someone is sitting with a sankie scum or a cleaning lady type girl. Some expats just don't get it.
AZB

If "cleaning lady" is some kind of euphimism for a hooker then I'm sorry for this rant and you can feel more than free to give me a good old fashioned AZB tongue lashing. But if you mean cleaning lady in the true sense of the title then I don't think what you said was very nice.

Why would you look down your nose at ANYBODY who works hard for a living? At least they're not sponging off of other people or being a drain on society.

People who work to earn a living and support themselves deserve respect, whether they are sweeping the streets, scrubbing toilets or are the president of a country.

You have to remember that people are different and so are socioeconomic conditions. Not everyone can afford to further their education and are forced to settle for lower paying jobs. Although some people choose to do drone work for various reasons, most of those who make that choice do it out of neccesity.

Considering that this is a third world country, I think it's admirable that someone has enough ambition to become a cleaning lady and not just mooch off society and tourists.

You're a chiropractor, right? If not then I apologize for the mistake. In America, a lot of people regard chiropractors as worthless quacks and vehemently feel that they are not "real" doctors. In the medical profession, a lot of chiropractors are merely brushed off and basically laughed at. I don't feel that way, I think that adjustments can be very beneficial. My point here is that it's not really nice to generalize according to someone's occupation.

 

[Larry]

If "cleaning lady" is some kind of euphimism for a hooker then I'm sorry for this rant and you can feel more than free to give me a good old fashioned AZB tongue lashing. But if you mean cleaning lady in the true sense of the title then I don't think what you said was very nice.

Why would you look down your nose at ANYBODY who works hard for a living? At least they're not sponging off of other people or being a drain on society.

People who work to earn a living and support themselves deserve respect, whether they are sweeping the streets, scrubbing toilets or are the president of a country.

You have to remember that people are different and so are socioeconomic conditions. Not everyone can afford to further their education and are forced to settle for lower paying jobs. Although some people choose to do drone work for various reasons, most of those who make that choice do it out of neccesity.

Considering that this is a third world country, I think it's admirable that someone has enough ambition to become a cleaning lady and not just mooch off society and tourists.

You're a chiropractor, right? If not then I apologize for the mistake. In America, a lot of people regard chiropractors as worthless quacks and vehemently feel that they are not "real" doctors. In the medical profession, a lot of chiropractors are merely brushed off and basically laughed at. I don't feel that way, I think that adjustments can be very beneficial. My point here is that it's not really nice to generalize according to someone's occupation.

Sunnie, you are not in America anymore. You still don't get it.

Larry

 

[SKY]

Sunnie, you are not in America anymore. You still don't get it.

Larry

Don?t worry Larry, I can assure you Sunnie will be back in America very soon.

Anyone this ignorant of life in the D.R. never lasts long here.

 

[carina]

Let?s turn this a little, maybe Sunnie can explain to us instead.
Sunnie, may I ask you something?
What is the meaning with you moving here, and what are your goals now once living here?

There are many Dr, we all know that.
But the the culture remains the same in the society.
You can not change it by saying "I don?t care" or "I do what I want" or
"I am friend with anyone I chose to" etc etc.
If you chose to live here you would need to adapt to the existing culture.


A person, chosing to hang out with sankies, trash, or people that are connected to sankies ( there are other areas too, but let?s stick to the subject ), will get no respect at all within the society, by anyone - local or expat.
You will be judged to be the same as those people.
In plain English, no one will want you as a friend, no one ever cares what happens to you, you will have huge trouble even getting a low paid job.
Because no one will respect you in any way, shape or form.
People, local good people or expats, will be friendly when they see you, but they will not give a damn. They will not want to see you, nor work with you, nor have anything to do with you.
Never mix "friend" and "friendly" here. Two different things.
This is the content what AZB and Larry, and everyone else is trying to tell you.
Like it or not, right or wrong. It is the culture here where you have chosed to live.

If you chose the above, to still see sankies or other cheap people, or people that date sankies etc etc you will remain exacly on the stage of survival where you are right now. You are on step 0, and you will stay there.
Did you socialize with the lowcrap in US as well when you lived there?
Hockers and simular? Probably not. Here you chose to do it.

If you would have chosen another path. To get friends of the society that work, that have a network of good people/friends to introduce you to, that have settled lives and incomes etc etc your "today" and future would look somehow different.

Right now, you don?t care that people talk or you chose your friends after standards that are low. Next time you need to look for a job for example, you will look for long. When a time comes you need to borrow some money from someone, because your babygirl is sick and needs medical care, you will need to look for long too.
And on and on and on.
Why? Because by your way of living people have already judged you, and they don?t want to have anything to do with you.

It seems to me you have chosed nothing. You were brought from the airport to Castilla/Sams. Luckily Joanne needed an employee.
And this is where you stand, without even considering the world or the culture around you in other ways than how YOU see it.

Sorry to sound hard, but it is about time you get this message people are trying to tell you.
Focus Sunnie.

What are your goals?

 

[AZB]

The nost coast aint that bad.......and you should not judge people by the colour of their skin.......

Funny when you guys find nothing elase to say, you make it a color issue. This has nothing to do with a person's color. I am simply talking about folks who are even considered low life even by their own people. Don't forget, we live in their country, so lets not try to change the rules on them.
I have never socialized with people who lived in projects in USA. People who were highschool drop outs and people who conned other people. I have never socialized with trailor park trash in atlanta area nor I used to hang out at night in bars with my janitor from my work.
So folks why should I even think of doing here (DR) what I didn't consider doing in USA?
I can attract folks who are equal or better (than me) in the socio-economical ladder in DR so why should I even consider having friends who are sankies or cleaning women in private houses? Does that give out a respectable image of myself anywhere? So why is it bad to choose better class people anywhere (not just in DR). Why do I have to socialize with the lowest of the lowest in DR to gain your approval?
Now if I were only qualified to work in a local puerto plata bar then I guess I won't mind having an uneducated sankie as a friend. But sorry dear, I didn't go to school all my youth and lose hair studying nights after nights to finally mingle with uneducated, low life sankies. Maybe you think differently, I excuse me for being hard nosed.
Oh, by the way, chiros are trash and fake doctors, I know. Hahahahaha We, chiros, always call MDs "real doctors", at least the ones who make fun of us. Times have changed since then, now the MDs in USA and in DR are changing their attitude. The new generation Mds are not as old fashioned as the old timers. I have had many MDs as patients and many refer me patients regularly. We have a very close contact with all health care professsionals. Remember, our objectives are to care for patients first, politics later.
AZB

 

[la_barbie]

I met Sunnie a few days ago at her job, and had a few beers and great conversations with her.... she's a very smart and well informed girl..

She may not be a Chiro or a "Real Doctor", but you can tell that she's happy where she is doing what she's doing and she brought up a very good point that people shouldn't be judged based on their occupations.. doing what they can to scrap by, I give them props for not begging from tourists...

AZB - If you weren't a Chiro than you wouldn't be saying the **** you are saying, you know yourself and don't need to be told that your in a country that not everyone can afford to go to school ... you put yourself on a pedastole in your posts cause of your job. There are other people on this forum with very good jobs as well... but don't think their god.. !

As for not sitting at a table with a Sankie or Cleaning lady.......Your talking about yourself as well..... Walking into a bar and seeing you with one of your young "Novias" automatically you can tell that your the one being sankied ..... them having a university degree or not .... I'm sure that they don't fall head over heels for combovers...