I'm told that "face" is important too, and what probably happened is in being yelled at, he felt he was disrespected. His bad for not finishing the job, but damned if you're gonna call him on it.
- Thread starter DRDone
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Understanding the Dominican Mentality
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I'm told that "face" is important too, and what probably happened is in being yelled at, he felt he was disrespected. His bad for not finishing the job, but damned if you're gonna call him on it.
Don't want to turn this into a back and forth - just in your previous comment you stated about killing the milking cow. Just be aware you are the milking cow to them, nothing more. And I've seen the milking cow run out of milk and it is not a pretty site. I think you know the situation over here and accept it. I didn't and had to make sense of it and started looking around. Many scam marriages and some quite lengthy, and the gringo completely destroyed. Some stories were second hand, and some first hand. I will say in my personal experiences none of these people had killed themselves, but were broke and could not afford tickets home and were basically stuck in some really horrible situations. Hopefully they will overcome, but I wouldn't be surprised if this ended in further tragedy. Maybe I read into the DR1 reports my own conclusions, so I'll take it back. I'll just say I've seen plenty of examples of the scam marriages just to remove all the milk from the cow and then leave them ruined.
Maybe 'un chin'
Being critizised (even for a total mess) is not accepted here (and neither in other cultures).
Even thieves want to be respected and will find a reason to tell you why....
I think for such situations they have created words like "un chin" and " e' no e' na' ".
donP
Being critizised (even for a total mess) is not accepted here (and neither in other cultures).
Even thieves want to be respected and will find a reason to tell you why....
I think for such situations they have created words like "un chin" and " e' no e' na' ".
donP
Personally, I find your statements a bit strong and while they might contain some truth (and I've seen plenty of examples myself) I find they are not applicable to the majority or even many of the Dominicans that I associate with. The type of people that I associate with are not without fault, but I believe not moreso than those in other countries.
Many of those that exhibit the behavior you refer too are very easily identified, by putting out a simple floater as a test. That is something that one should always do btw.
I like DV8 well enough, but she will not support your claims.
You did a lot better than me. I got pennies on the dollar, but I provided some high quality milk
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Having lived for several years in Mexico and traveled around Latin America, and lived in a place with a lot of different cultures (Miami), I note that most people make special allowances for those that are not of their culture. So it can be useful to say to a prospective worker than you admit you do not know their customs, but in your country, people are paid on the 15th and the 30th of each month for work done during that month, but you will offer to pay when the job is done to your satisfaction. If there are materials, you will pay for them and have them delivered.
Being critizised (even for a total mess) is not accepted here (and neither in other cultures).
Even thieves want to be respected and will find a reason to tell you why....
I think for such situations they have created words like "un chin" and " e' no e' na' ".
donP
Personal accountability is losing ground everywhere, alas.
First of all, in the DR, YOU are in charge of protecting YOURSELF. No one else carries the burden of protecting you. If you don't , then you're considered a fool and the other person was totally right for screwing you, thus they can brag on how the scammed you.
You guys really think that because you're gringos, you deserve better consideration? Think again, you're just another fool who paid the whole job in advance. You're not " the hand that feeds them", or "the goose of the golden eggs", it only means you have more money, so when they trick you, it'll hurt you less.
Learn to protect yourself: Do not work with people who won't tell you how much it is in advance, do not pay the whole stuff in advance, do not become best friends with your cleaning lady, secretary,etc.
If at the end of the job the person wants to charge you more than what was initially agreed, do not pay the increased difference. Tell them that you're sorry but that you don't have more money, and remind them that it was them who had fixed that price.
You guys really think that because you're gringos, you deserve better consideration? Think again, you're just another fool who paid the whole job in advance. You're not " the hand that feeds them", or "the goose of the golden eggs", it only means you have more money, so when they trick you, it'll hurt you less.
Learn to protect yourself: Do not work with people who won't tell you how much it is in advance, do not pay the whole stuff in advance, do not become best friends with your cleaning lady, secretary,etc.
If at the end of the job the person wants to charge you more than what was initially agreed, do not pay the increased difference. Tell them that you're sorry but that you don't have more money, and remind them that it was them who had fixed that price.
We know this, the thread is about why they are like this and act in manners that cost them more than makes them.
As you state Dominicans trick us and I guess it hurts us less (can't believe the DR has turned me into an us and them mentality, I hate tribalism), but what Dominicans can't understand is the gringo mentality is give people a chance and if someone screws you, for 15 pesos, or 500 or 1000 pesos, it is seen as a cost of doing business and we will simply not do business with you again. So it has really cost the other party more than you. So why can't Dominicans understand not to screw themselves over with these tactics is the question at hand.
Now the higher amounts - we hold a grudge.
A lot of people bash Christopher Columbus as genocidal these days. I think he was just charged the gringo price one too many times and just snapped.
OMG! Why do gringos always justify "snapping "? Is mass murdering all you guys think of?
The country has Beis-ball as a national sport, I find the second national sport to be 'trying to screw the guy in front of you' (gringo or not)... Saving Face also seems to be very important, god forbid you 'SCOLD' someone in the presence of others as you then become hated (briefly) as the worst person in the world.
But... Why can't they just once say... " I'm sorry... I'm sorry I broke it, I'm sorry I forgot, I sorry I didn't check the cistern, I'm sorry I left the house unattended, I'm sorry your dog dissipated ?, I sorry I took the jeepeta, etc.. etc....
Saying I'm sorry would soften so much of the head banging one does on a daily basis while living here.
But... Why can't they just once say... " I'm sorry... I'm sorry I broke it, I'm sorry I forgot, I sorry I didn't check the cistern, I'm sorry I left the house unattended, I'm sorry your dog dissipated ?, I sorry I took the jeepeta, etc.. etc....
Saying I'm sorry would soften so much of the head banging one does on a daily basis while living here.
In your last post you stated "then you're considered a fool and the other person was totally right for screwing you, ".
I guess you're trying to get the moral high ground, but you have no morality. It is never right to screw someone over. Our mentalities are different and don't try to be part of a philosophical discussion. You need to know the difference between the words why and what, and that is over your head.
Tranquila.
In the end it's all the same.
Dominicans snap every once a while, killing someone in a traffic feud, their wives, novias and ex-girlfriends, a friend for a 150 Peso debt, the disco rival in some gallo-rage, etc....
Usually not going to prison for long.
The gringo snaps once in a life time (then in jail for ever) killing 21 in a mall/school shooting...
Who is to judge which is the 'better snapping'....? :cheeky:
donP
Look who's talking about morality. You're the one trying to justify mass murdering, for God's sake!!! You are just one of those posters who asks why something happens but you don't really want to listen .
And gringos think snapping is totally justified. Ooh please don't snap at me! Easy, easy !
So you really believe that I believe Columbus was charged the gringo price and snapped???
I can't believe I had conversations with these people. I think your statement was a little more sincere than mine, but this is all over your head.
No tengas miedo!
Although I am a (German) 'gringo' I do not justify 'snapping'. In fact I do not really know what that is... :classic: :bunny:
Maybe because we do not own and carry guns like in the gun crazy US. :cheeky:
Entonces, you have nothing to fear from me. :bunny:
donP
Although I am a (German) 'gringo' I do not justify 'snapping'. In fact I do not really know what that is... :classic: :bunny:
Maybe because we do not own and carry guns like in the gun crazy US. :cheeky:
Entonces, you have nothing to fear from me. :bunny:
donP
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