TEHAMA said:
Personally, I am sick of hearing that rule. Hillbilly has mentioned that over and over...and I am happy that he knows GOOD people.
For me its more like finding a needle in a haystack. I had a medical doctor in a causal meeting (not for treatmenet or service) try to get $60 from me a couple of months ago. Very friendly guy, but a Dominican none-the-less.
Its just part of the culture and I guess they don't respect you if you are too free with your money.
(He didn't get a nickel)
TEHAMA
Tehama (no, I'm not from the spelling police, I just don't know what you mean) a 'causal' meeting, or a 'casual' meeting?
Why on earth did he want money from you?
It may not work for everyone, but if I get a request for money like this, I simply say that I need some too. And if he professes to be my friend, I'll be grateful if he now gives me some money. And my rates are the same as his.. I've just spent x hours with him and I need to be paid. So, pay my bill already!
If you can do something like this with a sense of humor, it usually defuses the situation and the person understands that you're not there for a free handout. Somehow, in time, the requests dwindle to nothing as you sort out who you want to deal with and who not. And yes, I agree, this is like looking for a needle in a haystack and it does take time. And believe me, we've been through the same process. In time, you'll almost know immediately who to deal with and who not, when to get angry and when to simply defuse the situation with humor.
Another thing, for any new type of business or purchase or so on, I'm very quick to call on someone who has been there before to go with me, make an introduction or just ease the way - and it is not always easy to ask for this kind of help. But, it is most important here to make that personal connection, even if it is a garage to get your car fixed. Ask someone to make an introduction.
It is clear that you're mighty upset. But it does pass. As far as the people that sell stuff at the lights, I simply close my window and ignore them - I don't even try and negotiate a purchase, time is too short.
All I can say, is that the gringo factor decreases as one gets more comfortable with your surroundings, the people around you and who you deal with, and most importantly, how you deal.
Get a little break from it all and take some time out... It really does change with time.