Whew...i don't know where to start here. First, a big welcome to you Alex, brother! Let me start by telling you that i'm half dominican and spent my youth growing up between here and Ohio. I'm basically a Dominican Hillbilly. During the 70's, my family and i squatted down in the back of our house daily and burried our poop like feral cats--covering it back up with dirt while we competed with neighborhood stray cats; we bathed in nearby rivers, such as "Juno" and "Blanco," and we tapped into the main power grid for 25 years before we ever saw an electricity bill make an appearance at our front door. So, allow me to give you the lowdown about relationships on this island in what i like to call the TEN DOMINICAN COMMANDMENTS:
1.) do not think that the girls you are chatting with online are good, innocent girls. Most are working girls (Prostitutes); some of them are probably my cousins trying to get a new, fresh, ripe Gringo--moving down here for the first time with a pocket full of cash and little, if any, kryptonite, wooden stakes, or garlic in his or her pocket to ward them off.
2.) Do not believe a Dominican woman (whom you have never met) when she tells you that they "Love you", and only you! lying here is learned at an early age and condoned by the village elders. My granfather taught me and my cousins the pantomines of lying. it's an art. trust me. A man has 7 pantomines, a woman has 25. This makes women far superior than men; it also makes them totally unbeatable! Listen to me, i'm a professional.
3.) Whenever a Dominican says these words to you: "You can trust me!" be weary. Be very weary. Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction and do not look back!! This warning also applies for any dominican electrician, plumber, carpenter, investor, real-estate broker, attorney, and basically, any dominican professional who says to you: "Yes, you can trust me!"
4.) Whenever a Dominican asks you for these things: New hair, new nails, new clothes, new shoes, money for a sick relative, money for a relative who just died (for the third time), money for the cow or donkey who needs medical attention, money for medicine, money for phone minutes on their chip, money for the roof that needs repairing (again), etc. run as fast as your feet will carry you in the opposite direction.
5.) Whenever a Dominican (Who you've met at a bar or nightclub or online) asks to move in with you, be weary. be very weary. Be paronoid. Be suspicious, and then be in shape to run a marathon to the opposite side of the island. You might want to begin taking swimming lessons before you move down here. Also, start running for the conditioning that you'll be needing.
If you want the second five commandments, i'll be more than happy to provide them to you. but let these first five sink before you ask me. Invest in a good pair of running shoes!!
Sincarely Frank (Dominican, grew up in Bonao)
