Changing My Life---help!

[SKing]

I have found a couple of schools in Santiago that claim to be bilingual schools and I would like to know if anyone knows anything about these schools.
1.) Santiago Christian School
2.) Holy Trinity
Also a little advice on the following would help... I am concerned about the fact that my children will be in school for such a long time. The schools are basically 7:45am(give/take a half an hour) to 2:45pm, and then I was told by both schools that they would need to take SSL (spanish as a second language) until 4pm. And of course we would be driving to and from Sajoma. That is alot for an adult, let alone a 7 and 4 yo. I am asking for advice on a thought that I had because I found a private school in Sajoma where my friend's sister in law sends her son. She is a attending university to become a teacher and her husband is a lawyer so I am sure that the school is probably at least decent (but of course, I will be checking that out for myself). But I would like to send them to that school and during the year try to supplement the education myself and maybe for a month in the summer hire a US college "education major" student to come and also make sure that they are up to par on grade level with the US and THEN for high school send them to one of the schools in Santiago that is US accredited so that they will graduate from there and be able to attend a US university if they choose. I am naive on this situation. Please I am asking for true advice and not attacks on myself, my character, or my situation. This is the biggest worry that I have right now. Thanks!

 

[SKing]

And along with this, have you run through in your own mind what happens if you & your best friend fall out? You have indicated a level of dependence on one family (friendship, child care in your absence, her husband building your house etc) which might leave you a bit stuck if you don't like what he builds and have a little discussion about it which gets taken the wrong way......... Try to put fewer eggs in one basket, if you can, then you have less chance of them all breaking at the same time.
Wish you well. No matter how the DR changes in the years to come, I'm certain your children will always find playmates here - can't see the natural friendliness & curiosity of Dominican children changing too much.[/QUOTE]

Thanks so much, I never even thought about that. I have made more friends each time that I have been there but I am still trying to figure out who is real and who is fake. Dominican men aren't the only ones to take advantage of an american, the women are very quick to be your "friend" also. For that reason, I am treading softly with most people. But thanks to your thought, I will have a backup plan. I have 2 other friends who live here in the US in my city who are from Sajoma and they have family there. I will try to see if I can also get advice, tips, and help from them while I am getting started there until I am adjusted. The assistance of 3 families is definitely better than one. Thanks so much, this kind of advice is why I posted on this forum.

 

[Lambada]

Thanks so much, I never even thought about that. I have made more friends each time that I have been there but I am still trying to figure out who is real and who is fake. Dominican men aren't the only ones to take advantage of an american, the women are very quick to be your "friend" also. For that reason, I am treading softly with most people.

Who is real and who is fake is also an issue in the expat population, probably more so than in the indigenous population, but since there isn't much of an expat population in Sajoma I guess this is one problem you're less likely to have to confront. Sorry can't help with the schools question other than to say Hillbilly is the education guru. Actually after 40+ years in the DR he's the guru on most things . If he doesn't come on to this thread you could PM him.

 

[SKing]

Want a reply from HILLBILLY

HILLBILLY...WHERE R U ??? Please read my last entry on this thread and give me some advice...Thanks.

 

[BushBaby]

HILLBILLY...WHERE R U ??? Please read my last entry on this thread and give me some advice...Thanks.

Forgive me for answering on the Old Man's behalf but I was talking to him earlier today & know just how busy he is with his judo :ninja: commitments right now. I am sure he will be on with his usual sage advice & honest information but please give him a day or two. I hope to be seeing him tomorrow for a brief visit (he's too busy to get out on to the golf course with us!!) & will mention this request to him if I do see him! ~ Grahame.

 

[amparocorp]

the kids are 7 and 4, put them in school, any school. if they are too bright for that school you will know in due time. i went to harvard university, most of my fellow students came from little known towns from across the US and overseas. they did not all come from the best that money can buy school. i mean, you are almost already picking out their graduate degree programs. they are 4 and 7, let kids be kids. i can put a violin in the hands of a kid from moneyville, connecticut or in the hands of a kid from the campo, one will have talent and one will not ,and i can not beat it into them, i can't predict outcome. come on down, relax, your kids may turn out to be astronauts in spite of you wanting them to become rocket scientists..................

 

[SKing]

You're right

Thanks Amparocorp, you are right. I am worrying myself to death about this. I just did not want to make the wrong decision. I am definitely going for the private school in Sajoma. As an American college graduate, I hope that I will be able to tell by their schoolwork if the school is up to par or not. We shall soon see. I don't want to put so much pressure on them.

 

[SKing]

Kids Activities

Also, can anyone give me good activities for kids in Santiago...When I move, I would like to take my kids to Santiago one day each weekend to do something fun. Museums, parks, restaurants that cater to kids, water parks...anything would be helpful. Thanks

 

[Charlielyn]

Your friend who lives in the DR should be able to help you with this question.

 

[lperez]

First let me say I do love the Dominican Republic and hope to one day move back.

I have actually done this with 3 children. I little different story. My husband is Dominican and we started working on moving there 8 yrs before we actually did. I went back and forth for and stayed for 2 or 3 months at a time. I did not meet my husband in the Dominican Republic I met him here in the United States. We married and had 3 children during the whole time we knew we would move as soon as we could. We did and ended up back in the states only after 4 months.

Let me say that you being a nurse should put your children’s health care first. You may want to move and think your children will have more fun and better quality of life and they will (have fun), but if you have to go through anything medical you will realize you made a big mistake. We are now waiting until the youngest is out of school before we even think about it again.

Luckily I only took a leave of absence from my job and everything was back to normal within a year and 2 surgeries later. Health care is not very good there no matter what insurance you get.

Either way good luck and I hope everything works out.

 

[SKing]

Your friend who lives in the DR should be able to help you with this question.

My friend has given me some info, but AGAIN as I stated before...she has no children and JUST moved back to DR after living 5 years in the US. Please, I am getting tired of the sarcastic remarks...If you do not have advice or information that may actually HELP me, do not answer.
With All Due Respect, of course

 

[miguel]

NO es unico....

I have actually done this with 3 children. I little different story. My husband is Dominican and we started working on moving there 8 yrs before we actually did. I went back and forth for and stayed for 2 or 3 months at a time. I did not meet my husband in the Dominican Republic I met him here in the United States. We married and had 3 children during the whole time we knew we would move as soon as we could. We did and ended up back in the states only after 4 months.

Your case is NOT unique, as you well know.

I know Dominicans who have saved thousands and thousands of dollars and then relocated to the DR thinking that the DR they left behind is the same DR.

They think that just because they are Dominicans, that they can still "hack it"....Imagine a foreigner who knows just about NOTHING about the DR.

From experience:

My uncle was born and raised in the DR....Then relocated to the US......

His dream was to return to the DR one day.

He and his wife worked like dogs and saved for over 15 years.

One day, a few moons ago, he decided to "make his move" and relocate back to the DR.

EVERYBODY, including his wife, told him that because of the lifestyle he was now used to, that he needed to save more money, for at least 5 more years.

Of course, EVERYBODY was wrong and he was right...."Nooo, I love the DR and I will get used to it again", was his saying.

He packed his bags, and away he went to the DR with this 3 kids and wife.

He bought a business, had A LOOOOT of money in the bank, put the kids in the best schools, bought an amazing house, bought cars for him and the wife, etc, etc......

Then all of a sudden, BOOOOM, "plan B" said "hey, you forgot about me"!.

If I am not mistaken, within 2 years him, his wife and kids were back in the US to start ALLLLLLL over again.....Within 2 years, more than 75% of his money was GONE!!....The business went kaputs, the house was a bad investment, the cars too expensive, the kids started to get sick all the time (ay my madre, THOSE HOSPITAL BILLS!!!!), etc. etc....

He learned his lesson the HAAAAARD way.

And even thought they moved back to the DR again and everything have been great for the last few years, he NOW says that NOT planning "plan B" was the cause all of his troubles.

And again, this man is a Dominican who speaks the language and know a thing or two about the DR.

 

[SKing]

Something to think about

Hey, that is something to think about. I think that I may thoroughly plan a plan B and C!!
I am really scared now.
But of course, not scared enough not to go.

 

[Lambada]

And even thought they moved back to the DR again and everything have been great for the last few years, he NOW says that NOT planning "plan B" was the cause all of his troubles.

And again, this man is a Dominican who speaks the language and know a thing or two about the DR.

That's it in a nutshell. The backup plan is crucial - in fact I would say have a plan C & D as well as B.

Two things (at least 2, probably many more) have changed about the DR in the last 15 years from my perception. The country has changed and the calibre of intending expats has changed. This doesn't apply to your tio, Miguel, because returning Dominicans aren't expats (well not here in DR ) but they do of course face many of the same issues. By 'calibre' I mean the tendency of expats many years ago before the DR was 'on the map' to not have the word 'failure' in their vocabulary. They were the 'go anywhere in the world and make a go of it' type of people - resilient, self-sufficient, mature for their years, optimistic and able to laugh at themselves. Some of those type of adventurers are among the newer expats but the changes in the country make it a lot harder for them to survive and impossible without the plan B (and C & D ).

SKing, Charlielyn was not being sarcastic - she isn't that type of person. Try not to see sarcasm in posts where it isn't intended. Resilience in an expat is a desirable quality, but it is different from defensiveness and combativeness which are less productive of helpful responses.

 

[miguel]

Yo.....

I, for one, have been planning my move to the DR for YEEEEEEARS!!.

I will NOT move over there until plan a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k and l are planned.

For one, I will NOT be working for anybody....It makes no sense, TO ME, to work here for so long and then go over there and make "peanuts".

There's no way in hell that I will move to the DR, from the best country in the world, the good old US of A, to live there just because I love the country and the people.

Last I heard, the country and the people will NOT pay all my bills when/if everything goes "down hill".....Actually, the country will NOT look that beautiful anymore and the people, or so-called friends, WILL disappear.

One last thing, if my kids where younger, there was no way in hell that I was going to leave one of them behind just because I want to make MYSELF happy!. They are in their 20's and even so, I will have a hard time leaving them when I DO move over there, even if it's already planned that they will fly over once a month and stay as long as they want.

I keep on telling SOME of these people....The DR is a different monster....It's NOT the same vacationing there and actually living there!!.

 

[SKing]

Thanks so much for your thoughts, I will keep that in mind. I don't feel the need to continue justifying my parental techniques or my feelings for my children. But thanks again for your thoughts and your experiences.

 

[dv8]

i am not a mother, that is one. but i am sick of this talk: "you a mother now, put a noose around your neck and pull, YOUR life is over, now live for your kids only".

since i am not a mum i may not respond in the lines of all-mothers-of-this-world but:
children are not stupid and they are very sensitive to adults emotions. if mum is breaking up and unhappy - they will not be on cloud nine either. it may be better to move to DR - providing this is what OP really, REALLY wants - and have happier, healthier relationship with kids. as to the oldest one OP wants to leave in the states, if i ware a kid and my mum decided to move to the place i hate i would make her life HELL, for sure. if the child would be happier in the good old USA why make it unhappy and drag it along?

 

[Kat1144]

I wish you luck and I would move to DR if I could. Despite all the bad stuff (everywhere has its pros & cons) you have more family & friend life and not all is negative. I have lots of family and friends that live in DR and are doing very well. They live all over the country more in Santo Domingo & Santiago. You can put them in very good American schools or a bilingual school over there.. it will cost you but never as much as it cost here in the states. I myself have children (2) and the cost of daycare alone in the states is outrageous. 1,200 a month for 2 children
In DR you can have a nanny at home for your little one and you can also have a in-house worker.. something we can not have here in US unless you have LOTS of $$$.
In the long run it will be better on your health, US is too STRESSFUL. You only live to work and have no life! Best of Luck

 

[PICHARDO]

I am moving permanently to DR next Aug (2008) with my 3 children to San Jose de las Matas. The majority of my friends here in the US are Dominican and my best friend returned there last May after trying to bring her husband here to the US legally for 4 years. When I went to visit her last Aug, I fell in love (w/ the country!). I have been there 3 times since then and each time that I return I feel worse about living here. I welcome any advice on anything, seeing as I have children. My situation is a little different because I am moving to a "pueblo" rather than anywhere near the beach. My main concern is the schooling. I want my children to be able to speak, read, and write in both languages. Should I send them to a school that teaches in spanish or in english? I need to buy a car and I will need a job (either in Sajoma or Santiago). I am a registered nurse here in the states but I definitely do not want to work as a nurse in DR d/t the pay and the stigma and the treatment. My house is already in the making, our residency applications are already sent, but I am still really nervous even though I am getting alot of help and advice from my friend and her family. I am not sure about anything except for the fact that if I stay in the US for one more year I will probably fall apart. ANY ADVICE ON ANYTHING WILL BE HELPFUL.

Let me be honest and cold on facts here:

You're moving to a third world country! There's lot of change going on but still 3/4 of the nation are far behind the two main cities and tourist's enclaves.

Now the cold facts:
The quality of life in the DR is ten fold in millions better than you could ever expect to live in your country now!
What I mean Quality of life?
Electricity? Nope...
Running water 24/7? Nope...
Mass Transportation? Nope...
Modern infrastructure? Nope...
If you consider quality of life to be based on any or all of the four mentioned points above, then... You're in the wrong country when you think the DR as your future home.

Quality of life means exactly what it means!
No more rushing to everything!
No more taxes on your property that seems to devour your paycheck!
No more fire sirens wailing at all times!
No more kids shoplifting stores in plain sight!
No more of all those things that we must learn to accept as by-products to be living with when you choose to reside in an industrialized country!

You'll have a moderate life with actual clothes that you'll use to the last hanger on the closet!
You'll learn to eat produce and crops that was allowed to ripen before it was cut down!
You'll smell the rain when it falls! The earth, the trees!
Your kids will have friends that will be like sisters and brothers as they aged and play like a family!
You'll learn that when the lights go out, people gather to talk!
You'll learn to shop for the perfect shoes that will be with you for years!
You'll learn that old things can be new again, and again and yet once again!
You'll learn that people really care for you and visit to have fun!
You'll learn that even when you didn't think you were that strong, you never tested yourself before!
You'll learn why we say manana when things are too stressful to deal with today!
You'll learn to live with less; much less than you could ever dream you need it to have to live in comfort!

And the worst part:
You'll be acting like one of those fool Dominicans soon after too!


Now, what was your question again?

 

[blueyegal]

The court systems in the States are very reluctant to allow a mother to relocate to another country with underage children unless the father agrees to it.

Your statement implies a father controls a mother and can keep her from moving.
A mother (or father) notifies the court of the move and custody/visitation is either changed or modified by the court depending on whether the father (or mother) files against it (fights for custody, etc).

B