The other heartbreaking side of the DR

[LaTeacher]

Condoms are not free, and even if they were it takes a ton of education to even get people to use them - men don't like them, and women don't have enough self-worth to say "no glove, no love". the government does have a a free contraceptive program, but in many instances, women who are on the list can't get any help from the catholic church. stuck between a rock and a hard place.

we've run into problems with the catholic church with our prenatal ed classes (basically sex ed with babies involved) because they don't think we should teach these women about birth control, and have threatened to removed the children of these women from any charity organization (which includes daycare for women who work).

this problem is way more complicated than "close your legs" - especially if sex is the only way they have to make some money for their kids.

 

[pollogringo]

we've run into problems with the catholic church

That's awful. These thugs should be locked up.

Keep up the good work!

 

[Casino127]

So there is no way out !! Steal-mate

 

[SKing]

Well, we all know what will happen now as she's hit the jackpot being on the news.
A bunch of well intentioned foreigners will come in, throw some clothes, food, and money at her and her kids and walk away, never addressing the core problem.
And she will be content until everything runs out. And all of the other young girls, instead of focusing on WHY they have a gazillion kids they can't feed and how they can STOP that, will now all focus on trying to get into the news.
Sad.

SHALENA

 

[NotLurking]

Most of the blame here has been put on the mother, why so?

Why not? She is the one that choose more than a few time to bring a child into this world to suffer. Who else would you like to blame? The government? The church? The schools? Me?

We are not in the position of judging this poor woman,

Yes we are because the unfortunate task of providing for these kids falls squarely on us, society. Yes that means you, me and everyone else, is now responsible for a situation that clearly could've been avoided and we have no say of it in the making. You want us to put up and shut up? The silent partner in crime? Yes crime! It should be criminal to bring so many kids into this world under those conditions. I think not. I'll judge, complain and help as needed.

we don`t even know how it became that she has so many children and in such poverty.

Oh yes we do know! She just kept opening her legs!

Could it be she is mentally challenged?, perhaps some lowlife is just taking advantage of her with the promise of better life?, has she been beaten and continually raped? Is she THAT religious that she believes God will provide and it is a sin to use contraception of any kind, or does she even know of the many contraception methods available? Education? does she have any at all and at what level?

Here we are, as usual, with the do-gooder apologetic attitude trying oh so very hard to find an excuse for nothing other than bad choices. Stop an think for a moment. Don't be swayed by your good nature into finding or making up excuses for the indefensible. Don't you think that if any of the above mentioned circumstances would exist the reported that wrote the article would have included such information? This article is written with the goal to inform and solicit help, information like mental illness or rape would have been in the very first paragraph. The article is an appeal to our good nature surely information that we would consider deplorable would have been include and it was not; I wonder why....

Wish we knew what her underlying circumstances are which drove her into the horribly sad situation she is in now.
Until then, I reserve judgement.

No need to wish you can call and ask. The number was included in the article. I'll included here for your convenience.

La familia vive en la calle 10, detr?s de la iglesia San Bartolo, en Gurabo. 809-581-5895 /829-273-0900

NotLurking

 

[NotLurking]

Condoms are not free, and even if they were it takes a ton of education to even get people to use them - men don't like them, and women don't have enough self-worth to say "no glove, no love". the government does have a a free contraceptive program, but in many instances, women who are on the list can't get any help from the catholic church. stuck between a rock and a hard place.

we've run into problems with the catholic church with our prenatal ed classes (basically sex ed with babies involved) because they don't think we should teach these women about birth control, and have threatened to removed the children of these women from any charity organization (which includes daycare for women who work).

this problem is way more complicated than "close your legs" - especially if sex is the only way they have to make some money for their kids.

LaTeacher, I like to commend you for your work int sex ed classes. You are absolutely right the problem is much more complicated than "just close your legs". However, close your legs is a simple definite start solution to this problem. Contraceptives are available upon request for free even if not publicly advertize in places like Maternidad de Los Minas but you are right when you say that getting these women and men using condoms is a whole other matter. Sex education is the key but I think the first step is instill a need, no, an urgency in reduce sexual activity or straight up abstinence - "just close your legs sweetie"

NotLurking

 

[pollogringo]

information like mental illness or rape would have been in the very first paragraph

Mental illness is a loaded term. Diminished capacity may be more appropriate. As an example, do you understand how FAS works? The child born with it will exhibit poor judgment for the rest of her life. It affects that specific area of the brain. As a result, she's likely to make the same poor decisions as her mother.

In a more subtle way, this young mother's ability to make responsible decisions was likely impaired by poor nutrition in her formative years. Not eschewing her veggies. I mean not getting enough to eat. Her offspring are now growing up in the same way- stunted- emotionally, mentally and physically. It's not an excuse. It's reality.

 

[young seniors]

Why not? She is the one that choose more than a few time to bring a child into this world to suffer. Who else would you like to blame? The government? The church? The schools? Me?


Yes we are because the unfortunate task of providing for these kids falls squarely on us, society. Yes that means you, me and everyone else, is now responsible for a situation that clearly could've been avoided and we have no say of it in the making. You want us to put up and shut up? The silent partner in crime? Yes crime! It should be criminal to bring so many kids into this world under those conditions. I think not. I'll judge, complain and help as needed.

Oh yes we do know! She just kept opening her legs!



Here we are, as usual, with the do-gooder apologetic attitude trying oh so very hard to find an excuse for nothing other than bad choices. Stop an think for a moment. Don't be swayed by your good nature into finding or making up excuses for the indefensible. Don't you think that if any of the above mentioned circumstances would exist the reported that wrote the article would have included such information? This article is written with the goal to inform and solicit help, information like mental illness or rape would have been in the very first paragraph. The article is an appeal to our good nature surely information that we would consider deplorable would have been include and it was not; I wonder why....




No need to wish you can call and ask. The number was included in the article. I'll included here for your convenience.


NotLurking

Not a do-gooder Not Lurking, and not looking to excuse behaviour, however I have learned that making assumptions without getting all the facts is irresponsible. I find your solution........to keep her legs crossed shows immaturity on your part. Not as simple as that, more to this story than what is printed.

 

[pollogringo]

I think the first step is instill a need, no, an urgency in reduce sexual activity or straight up abstinence - "just close your legs sweetie"

Teen Pregnancies Highest In States With Abstinence-Only Policies | ThinkProgress

 

[NotLurking]

Teen Pregnancies Highest In States With Abstinence-Only Policies | ThinkProgress

Now you want to put words into my mouth? I didn't say teach abstinence ONLY as a means of contraception. I did say that we should instill a need to close your legs as a first step to a difficult social problem. The first step is to tell our teens to hold off on sex until they understand better all their options and the consequences of unsafe sex. Just close your legs....yeah just close'em at least until you know better and have ALL necessary info on STD and protection.

Other reports show that teenagers are having less sex and using contraception more often. Studies have backed this up.

Hmmm somebody is closing their legs. Less sex mean more legs closed!

NotLurking

 

[pollogringo]

Now you want to put words into my mouth? I didn't say teach abstinence ONLY as a means of contraception. I did say that we should instill a need to close your legs as a first step to a difficult social problem. The first step is to tell our teens to hold off on sex until they understand better all their options and the consequences of unsafe sex. Just close your legs....yeah just close'em at least until you know better and have ALL necessary info on STD and protection.


Hmmm somebody is closing their legs. Less sex mean more legs closed!

NotLurking

You're still talking about the young lady like she's an American girl that came home from school and had a bowl of cereal while she gossiped with her friend about who liked who before she got to her homework and then sat down to a bland but nutritious meal when dad got home from work.

This girl probably never met her dad. Her first sexual experience came early. Probably not consensual. Her innocence preyed upon. Her mother never talked to her about sex. No speech about respecting herself and waiting till the time was right and she felt comfortable. Could anyone realistically expect a different outcome?

 

[La Rubia]

Not a do-gooder Not Lurking, and not looking to excuse behaviour, however I have learned that making assumptions without getting all the facts is irresponsible. I find your solution........to keep her legs crossed shows immaturity on your part. Not as simple as that, more to this story than what is printed.

She was 18 when she had her first. Maybe started out ok, possibly even a graduate. Whatever happened, at each stage of spiraling downward there were no better options. What, she should have enrolled in a career institute that would have given her job skills?

Consider that at any point she would have gotten her tubes tied she would have cut herself off from a future man who wanted a child. She has few skills and no job options, so of course she turns to what she has and others want. However, outright prostitution is distasteful to many, so it comes in the guise of finding a permanent situation. She could have made a go of it if only one (and we really don't know how many there are) of the baby daddy's supported his child, because where one is fed a Dominican will make sure all are fed. So closing her legs would probably have shut down her nearly non-existent options.

Some sort of intervention and assistance along the way would have resulted in different outcomes. Had she had all those children with one man who was a wage earner who died suddenly, she'd likely face the same fate. Without some type of assistance, no one makes it through tragedy. It seems inhumane not to believe some sort of assitance, public, private, or from the church couldn't alleviate this situation.

What I find disturbing is that she goes to the church to beg? Wouldn't they offer assistance in a more humane way?

Education can change the lives of the children she has now. Absolutely none of us were educated without someone's help. So if there isn't an agency that can supply uniforms and food to the children, it would be an act of kindness to help her. Likely educated children will not repeat the mistakes of their mother. Those left to fend for themselves will be down that road all too quickly.

It has to be bad enough that it hit the press in a country where undernourishment is not uncommon. While I agree that in the long run the underlying issues must be addressed, I don't understand why short-term assistance is so distasteful to so many of you blessed by circumstances which allowed you to "single-handedly" pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

 

[Reasonable Man]

Why are people trying to "understand" this girl, and what she's done? There is nothing to understand at all, she's clearly not mentally retarded (I'm sure if she had shown any signs of mental retardation it would have been mentioned in the article to make it more a sob story.) She is a very, very, very stupid and irresponsible "adult." I don't care if her special uncle Jose touched her in her no-no parts every Christmas, or if you can't tell if the milk man, or the colmaldo owner is her father. No one is to blame but HER, she should have stopped having sex along time ago, or she should have done something to prevent herself from getting pregnant. It's that simple.

 

[La Rubia]

Well, we all know what will happen now as she's hit the jackpot being on the news.
A bunch of well intentioned foreigners will come in, throw some clothes, food, and money at her and her kids and walk away, never addressing the core problem.
SHALENA

Certainly it doesn't have to be an either/or proposition? There must be agencies, such as Plan International, off the top of my head, that could provide assistance without the freebies.

I'm definitely of the "teach a man to fish" philosophy, and can't imagine that a combination of government and ngo help couldn't be extended in a way that doesn't result in the scenario you present.

I believe they want government help, and with all those people on the agricultural payroll, I don't see why a poor person wouldn't get the impression that the government is there to help.

 

[pollogringo]

Why are people trying to "understand" this girl, and what she's done? There is nothing to understand at all, she's clearly not mentally retarded (I'm sure if she had shown any signs of mental retardation it would have been mentioned in the article to make it more a sob story.) She is a very, very, very stupid and irresponsible "adult." I don't care if her special uncle Jose touched her in her no-no parts every Christmas, or if you can't tell if the milk man, or the colmaldo owner is her father. No one is to blame but HER, she should have stopped having sex along time ago, or she should have done something to prevent herself from getting pregnant. It's that simple.

If that helps make your world a little more tidy.

There is nothing to understand at all

I don't care

In view of your feelings on the subject it's doubtful that you could possibly begin to understand.

 

[La Rubia]

Why are people trying to "understand" this girl, and what she's done? There is nothing to understand at all, she's clearly not mentally retarded (I'm sure if she had shown any signs of mental retardation it would have been mentioned in the article to make it more a sob story.) She is a very, very, very stupid and irresponsible "adult." I don't care if her special uncle Jose touched her in her no-no parts every Christmas, or if you can't tell if the milk man, or the colmaldo owner is her father. No one is to blame but HER, she should have stopped having sex along time ago, or she should have done something to prevent herself from getting pregnant. It's that simple.

It's not that simple when you are poor, uneducated, and don't have options. And btw, could you extend those comments to the males who also didn't keep use protection? It takes two, but typically the burden falls to the female as the man can just walk away. Certainly no-one would be in this situation if men would stop having unprotected sex?

And because there is little justice for sex crimes, Uncle Jose is likely starting to touch the little girls, who also have no ability to get out of the situation and will end up pregnant by him. You can later blame them for that, too.

 

[davetuna]

jeez people..............kids are kids, however they get here it isn't THEIR fault. I hope the media attention does put food on the table and thank god for that!
what is that saying? there but for the grace of god? walk a mile in my shoes etc........ each one of us as (intelligent) and lucky adults have a responsibility to help less fortunate people it's only humane. not one of us are beyond reproach here.

god bless them all and i hope something will change for the better....

tuna

 

[cobraboy]

The core problem is what used to be shame associated with irresponsible breeding has been replaced with excuses and victimhood status.

 

[davetuna]

The girl is not on her own, most of the people I know here are in the same situation....no possessions, the only thing she does have are her kids and I am sure she is well aware of the do's and don'ts of the situation. The BIG difference here is that there is no state help. I can understand some of the BB remarks if we were talking about the US or UK whereby the single mothers get a council house and benefits, but the ppl here are poor. FACT.
Is it too much to ask for a bit of compassion. Help one person here to get education and work, and you are helping the whole family, as it is all tightly knit here. You don't get anything back other than the knowledge that you have done some good for less fortunate, JUST as you would want others to do if you were in the same or similar helpless situation. I am sure that we have ALL been helped along the way maybe by parents paying for college or a helpful aunt buying food..........if you want to change a situation, CHANGE it.

rant over

tuna

 

[Reasonable Man]

It's not that simple when you are poor, uneducated, and don't have options. And btw, could you extend those comments to the males who also didn't keep use protection? It takes two, but typically the burden falls to the female as the man can just walk away. Certainly no-one would be in this situation if men would stop having unprotected sex?

And because there is little justice for sex crimes, Uncle Jose is likely starting to touch the little girls, who also have no ability to get out of the situation and will end up pregnant by him. You can later blame them for that, too.

What does being poor, uneducated, and not having any options have to do with safe sex? Listen I'm sure after popping out two kids, she understood that sex with no condoms = babies. I don't think she needs to be a Rhode Scholar to understand this concept, I'm sure someone or two has explained to her where babies come from.

Also I agree it's a two way street, the father(s) are scumbags for abandoning her there's no other way around that. But do you see a common factor in all this? I doubt all the children are fathered by one man, instead they were all given birth too by one women, an extremely stupid women, after having 7 kids within one decade this women still hasn't become wiser, or become more responsible. She is 27, not 17 anymore.

In this hypothetical world if "uncle Jose" does end up impregnating one of the girls, at 15 years old. Why does that validate that after having one child, she should continue to have children for the next 12 years?

I'm 21 years old, in no way am I prepared or ready to be responsible for another human being. If tomorrow I was straddled with the burden of taking care a child, you know what the most logical thing to do would be? Say "oh crap this is way to hard, and in no way am I prepared for this" and do everything humanely possible not to have another child. Why does any life circumstances about her have to do with her not being able to think logically?